Giving Up for You

by L. M. Carr

  After silencing my phone, I set it back on the nightstand and close my eyes and beg for sleep to come back. It doesn’t. The man I love is asleep peacefully beside me, his chest rises and falls as he breathes, tempting me to run my fingers over and through the sprinkling of hair. His face is serene, no sign of stress or worry. He looks so young like this. No one would ever know the full amount of weight he carries for a man of only thirty one. I know. I hear him some nights when he can’t sleep.

  I run my nose along his chest, the dark, curly hair tickling as I inhale deeply before lightly placing a sweet kiss on his chest. I slip on my robe and tiptoe into the quiet kitchen for coffee. I let Brady out, wait for Adam’s fancy coffee machine to brew, and turn on the morning news to see how much snow we’re supposed to get.

  With my coffee in my hands, I make my way to the couch, pulling the burgundy and tan striped chenille blanket over my legs. Brady curls up quietly on the rug in front of the fireplace. I chuckle and wonder how meteorologists get paid so much money and can be completely wrong with the forecast. The predicted snowfall amount total for our region of six inches has been increased overnight to anywhere between twelve to eighteen inches and it’s not expected to stop until very late tonight. A warm and fuzzy feeling makes me smile to think we might be snowed in for a few days.

  I set my coffee down on the table in front of me and pick up my phone to text Shelby. Her sleeping habits have been quite erratic. Being an early riser like me, I’m pretty sure that she’s awake; the question is—what is she doing now that she’s up? She’s mentioned more than once that she’s been insatiable these days with her crazy pregnancy hormones and weird cravings. Poor Mike! I hope he can keep up.

  She tells me that Mike got called in and may have to work through the storm. For some strange reason, people panic when we get a forecast that calls for snow. The grocery stores are packed with people needing food like they’re going to be snowed in for weeks. Others call 911 when they lose power. Mike’s a cop; what’s he supposed to do? I offer for her to spend the day with us so she doesn’t have to be alone. It would be like old times with a few extra kids thrown in the mix . . . and maybe their sexy dad. Mere thoughts of him make me squirm and want to slip my hand underneath the blanket to quell my sudden need. Damn! Maybe I should’ve checked with him before making my offer to her. He might have other plans for us.

  I tiptoe back upstairs and crawl into bed after locking the door quietly. Since it’s a snow day, I think a little celebration is in order.

  “Oh my God . . . I was just dreaming about your little mouth wrapped around me,” he moans. “That feels so good.” His hips buck upward, sliding his cock to the back of my throat. I take him in deeper to the point where I almost gag. My hands join in and work in accord with my lips and tongue until he can no longer hold on. He explodes on a groan until his erection is no more and he slips out of my mouth.

  “Damn, woman!” He pulls me up so I’m stretched across his naked body.

  “You needed a reminder.” I toss his words back from last night.

  “A reminder about what?” He pulls his grin to the side and eyes me skeptically.

  “A reminder that I love you.” I tweak his nipple playfully before kissing it.

  Adam cancels his day so he can stay home with us. After a quick shower, we make a huge breakfast and enjoy it with the kids. Madison insists on watching Frozen again for the hundredth time while Luke lounges on the couch with his dad’s iPad.

  “I could get used to this.” Adam sneaks up behind me and whispers in my ear.

  “Me, too.” I turn to offer my cheek.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind if Shelby hangs out with us today?”

  “Not at all. I love that feisty girl.”

  “You love her?” I jab at his rock hard stomach playfully with my index finger. “Ooooh, I’m telling Mike and he’s going to kick your ass!”

  “Pffft,” he snorts, “I can take him down.” He puffs his chest out like a gorilla and beats it hard.

  “No way! He’s huge!” I love the playful banter that comes so naturally for us.

  “Yeah,” he concedes, “you’re probably right. I’ll be sure not to mess with him.” A big, fat kiss smacks my cheek. “Unless he messes with me first.” He winks and leaves the room.

  Just as the movie ends, I notice Mike’s cruiser pull in the driveway and watch him open the door for his wife. I wave hello and open the front door for them.

  “The roads are pretty bad. You’re not going out, right?” Mike says as he stomps snow off his black boots. I grimace and shake my head, letting him know we have no intention of going anywhere. I hate the cold. I hate snow except on Christmas morning.

  “Hey, Mike. What’s going on, man?” Adam extends his hand to Mike. A look passes between them before Mike gives a subtle nod of his head. I immediately wonder what’s going on but am distracted when Maddie and Luke jump up and ask if they can play in the snow to build Olaf.

  “I have some work to do, but you can ask Mia. She loves the snow.” Adam encourages his kids with a playful grin. I want to wipe that sexy smirk off his face; he knows how much I hate being cold.

  “What?” I screech. No more morning blow jobs for him!

  “Oh, no! I’m not going out there! It’s freezing!” Shelby interjects.

  “Please, Mia.” Luke begs while his sister looks with hope in her big brown eyes.

  “I guess I can spare an hour.” Adam teases. “Go on. Get dressed.”

  I look at Mike, hoping he’ll say that it’s too cold, but he just throws his hands up in the air as he kisses Shelby goodbye and leaves.

  Twenty minutes later, I’m bundled up to face Old Man Winter.

  “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Adam tightens the scarf around my neck. “And I promise to warm you up later.” He smiles as he whispers the words because he knows that he isn’t playing fairly.

  “Have fun, Mia.” Shelby sings mockingly.

  The middle finger of my gloved hand shoots up at her.

  “Aww . . . I love you, too, babe.”

  What seems like forever later, we come in from the cold, each of us frozen to the bone. I really and I mean, really, didn’t want to go outside to play in the snow. I found it nearly impossible to resist when Adam practically seduced me and the kids turned their brown, puppy dog eyes on me. Yes, I had so much fun watching the kids play and throw snowballs as their father ducked or ran away, seeking shelter behind the trees. And yes, I took tons of great pictures, but I’m a summer girl; I prefer hot days with lots of sunshine. Shelby used her pregnancy as an excuse to stay inside by the fire. Lucky bitch!

  We spend the afternoon making several kinds of cookie dough with the kids and playing board games until Adam’s phone rings and he excuses himself to get some work done. He kisses my forehead and says, “I’ll be in my office.”

  “Okay,” I answer but am left feeling disappointed when he doesn’t turn around and give me that inviting look. I guess he really is going to get some work done today.

  Even before dinner time, school was canceled again for the next day. Mike trekked over in his cruiser to check on Shelby. He was happy that she was staying with us for the night since he was mandated to stay at work until the storm passed.

  After a delicious dinner of pasta with cream sauce that Shelby and I whipped up, we decorate Christmas cookies with the kids while Adam and Mike head into the family room to catch the last few minutes of Sports Center.

  I walk in to bring the guys some cookies, but find the room empty. I follow the sound of their voices coming from Adam’s office. I can’t quite make out what they were talking about, but it certainly doesn’t have anything to do with football.

  “Knock, knock,” I say as I tap at the open wooden door. “I come bearing cookies.” My smile fades when I see the serious look on their faces. My eyes play an immediate game of tennis, moving from Adam’s face to Mike’s then back to Adam’s. “What’s going on?” I step further into the room.
<
br />   Mike’s eyes flash to Adam, possibly looking for approval to talk openly with me standing there. Adam nods before shutting the door behind me.

  “It’s Chris. He’s gotten himself into some serious shit, Mia,” Adam says.

  I’m confused. What has this got to do with Adam and why is Mike involved? Mike is a local town cop; the investigation into Chris’ activity is on a federal level. I’m pretty sure that’s why Nora is involved. It damn well better be why she’s involved.

  “Okay,” I breathe, “you’re going to have to take this a step back for me, Adam.” He reaches out and takes the plate from me, setting it on his desk. I turn to look at Mike. “What do you have to do with this?”

  “Mike has been working with Nora, keeping tabs on Chris around town. His thug gangster friends started showing up recently. Something’s going down. It’s just a matter of when.”

  I swallow the bile that threatens to rise. My heart starts to race and I feel lightheaded. “Who are these people and what do they want?” The thought of violent people, looking to do harm in our small town, doesn’t sit right with me.

  “I think Chris may have figured out that I’m involved in some way.”

  “What? How? You were with him yesterday morning. I saw you.”

  His eyes narrow inquisitively. “You saw me? Were you following me?” He sounds annoyed.

  Now I’m annoyed! “No! Why would I follow you?” What a stupid question. “I took the kids to Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast and I forgot my phone. When I went outside to get it, I saw you speeding by with Chris. You looked really mad.” Suddenly I wonder why he would be worried if I were following him unless he’s got something to hide. He better have told me everything about this investigation or I’m going to be seriously pissed.

  Mike’s eyebrows furrow. “You were with him yesterday? But . . .”

  Adam’s time is up. He looks defeated. “Yes, Mike, I was with him in New York. His supplier was there. He made me go. I didn’t have a choice.” He didn’t have a choice? What is he talking about? You always have a choice!

  “What the fuck? You should’ve said something.” Mike pulls out his phone, walks over to the window to make a call. I can’t hear what he’s saying. All I hear are his whispered responses of “yes” and “I know.”

  “Adam, why would you go with him? Oh my God, you could’ve gotten hurt. Those people are dangerous. Chris is dangerous.” Then it dawns on me that he was late to pick up the kids from school. I step closer to him and look up. “This isn’t just about you anymore. You need to think about your kids. They need you. You’re all they’ve got.” My voice hitches on the last word; I’m on the verge of a flood of emotions. I shake my head, annoyed at his stupidity for being friends with Chris and now getting involved with the investigation.

  “Dude, listen to me.” Mike, looking stern and serious, walks over to Adam, even his tone worries me. “You cannot go anywhere with him. You’re going to fuck everything up and get yourself implicated. We won’t be able to help you at that point.”

  “I understand.” Adam turns his attention away from Mike to look back at me. “It’s not just about me anymore.” He repeats my words from a few moments ago.

  “So, tell me about these people. What do they want exactly?” I direct my question at Mike. He seems to have more answers for me right now.

  “Mia, we’re not really sure what they want. It might be a case of who they want. These people are ruthless; they won’t stop until they get what they want.” Who they want? Something about that statement sends goose bumps over my arms and the hair on my neck stands to attention. My pulse starts to quicken.

  “Adam, let me see your phone.” I hold my hand out to him.

  “Why?”

  “I need to call Pete. I have to ask him a question.” Adam looks at me like I’ve suddenly grown three heads. “Phone?” I ask again.

  He unlocks it and hands it to me, curiosity in his eyes.

  I quickly dial Pete and wait for him to answer. I wait and I wait. It goes to voicemail so I call again. I wait and I wait.

  “Mia, what are you doing?” Adams asks. I ignore him and call Pete again. After the third ring, he finally answers, panting in my ear. “Adam? What’s up, dude?”

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  “Oh, Mia. What’s wrong? Why are you calling me from Adam’s phone?”

  “That’s not important right now.”

  “Are the kids okay?”

  “Peter, can you just shut up for a sec!”

  “This better be important. I’m right in the middle of something.” I hear him chuckle.

  I roll my eyes. “Peter, pull your pants up and listen to me.”

  “Oh, God. Give me a minute . . . this better be good.” I wait as he mumbles to someone in the background who’s apparently arguing it being perfect timing. I’m pretty sure I detect a bit of sarcasm from the male voice. “What’s up, babe? You okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine, but—” My words are cut off.

  “Are the kids okay?” If the situation weren’t so serious, I’d laugh. He loves those kids so much. He’s like their favorite uncle.

  “Yes, they’re fine. Everybody’s fine.” Although I’m not sure how much truth there is to that statement. “Now shut up and listen.” Adam and Mike watch me rebuke Pete. “Where were you a few nights ago? Like three or four days ago?”

  I hear Shelby knock at the door and ask where we are. Mike steps out and closes the door behind him.

  “Please tell me you didn’t call and interrupt me to see how the whole meeting the family thing went. Seriously?” I swear to God if he doesn’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to reach into the phone and strangle him by his balls.

  “Were you at my house at any point? Did you stop by for something and leave when you realized I wasn’t there?” Deep down I already know the answer and my eyes find Adam’s.

  “No, I haven’t been by your place. I’ve been staying at Tyler’s place all week. Why? What’s going on?”

  “Pete, are you absolutely sure? This is really important.”

  “Yes, I’m positive. You’re starting to make me worried. What’s going on, Mia?”

  “Pete, listen. I can’t explain everything right now, but I will when I can. I promise. Love you.” I hang up and hand Adam his phone before I find his leather chair and sit down.

  “Baby, what is it?”

  “Mr. Longo saw two men at my house a few nights ago. He doesn’t sleep well so he went downstairs and he said there was a car in my driveway and two men were walking around suspiciously.”

  “Wait. So there were two men walking around suspiciously and you didn’t think to tell me?” His harsh tone surprises me.

  I feel so stupid. “I don’t know! I didn’t think it was a big deal. He thought it was Pete and his boyfriend.”

  “Why would he think that?”

  “It’s a long story, but basically Pete would stop by my place over the summer to go to the lake and stuff.” I drop my head into my hands and can’t believe I didn’t figure it out. The dark car that followed me a while back as I was driving to Adam’s is probably the same car that was parked on the side of the road by the school.

  I tell Adam about the car and the feeling of paranoia that I’ve been having. He immediately calls Mike back into the room and tells him what I’ve just told him. The hard look I get tells me that Mike thinks I’m stupid for not saying anything, but in all honesty, I didn’t know there was anything to be concerned about. I thought maybe Gina was still a little pissed off that Adam and I were together. I don’t know. I never imagined it had something to do with Chris DeGennaro.

  “Round the clock. Yes, 24-7.” Mike orders into his phone, looking sternly at me and then at Adam.

  God, in all the years I’ve known Mike, I’ve never seen him in action. Not like this. He doesn’t look like the same friendly man who runs the DARE drug-free program at the middle school. He looks huge and fierce in his blue uniform. It’s extremely intim
idating.

  “Nora will be here soon. She needs to talk to Mia.”

  Oh, shit! Nora’s coming here? I don’t want her in Adam’s home especially with the kids here.

  “Can’t we meet her somewhere else? I don’t want to worry the kids.”

  “Roads are closed. Only essential and emergency vehicles are allowed to be out.”

  “I’m going to shower and change.” I start to walk past Adam.

  “Why?”

  “I just need do.” Oh, Adam. Please don’t ask questions like that. You wouldn’t understand. A beautiful woman, one of authority, is coming over to talk to me and there’s cookie icing smeared on my ragged, oversized sweatpants.

  ***

  SHELBY OFFERS TO take the kids downstairs to the playroom in the finished basement. I feel like I’m being interrogated as I sit at the head of the table while four pairs of eyes look at me. Nora, looking beautiful as I remember with her short, platinum blonde bob, sits, after introducing herself officially as Special Agent Nora Jones. She smiles when she notices the questioning look on my face. “No, I’m not that Norah Jones and I can’t sing to save my life.” I smile back at her attempt at humor. Nora is the closest to me with a yellow legal pad, her black pen tapping incessantly in front of her. Next to her, is a small, balding, stocky man who introduced himself as Special Agent Charles O’Connor. Adam sits opposite of Nora and holds my hand throughout the questioning. Mike takes the seat across from the other agent.

  I tell her everything I can remember. Every detail including the footprints I found in the snow a few weeks ago. I remember thinking that Mr. Longo used my shovel to clear his walkway. I’m thinking it wasn’t him who left things strewn in my garage and that leather glove I found wasn’t his at all. I even tell her about Brady’s strange behavior lately, barking in the middle of the night at all hours.

  “I don’t understand. Why me?” I ask no one in particular as I pull the silver pendant up to my lips.

  Just then Shelby comes in to offer coffee. God, I love her! She knows exactly what I need right now. I jump up. “I’ll help you.” I seriously could use a break from all their questioning.