My Best Friend's Brother

by Chrissy Fanslau

  “Well, I applied to one about a month ago.” I felt like a broken record.

  “Which one is that?”

  “The one in British Columbia.”

  He looked through my file. “Your SAT scores are good. Are you retaking?”

  “No.” I have better things to do on a Saturday morning!

  “Well, it sounds like you just need to decide on a college, then! Did you get an acceptance letter?”

  “No.”

  “What do your parents think?” He raised his eyebrows and stared at me, his smile small but present.

  “I don’t know.” I wanted to get off the subject, so I said, “Do you know what happened to Ms. Sanderson?”

  His eyebrows came together. “Oh, I’m sorry, she died in her sleep. She was eighty-six. I think that’s pretty old. But she was nice, wasn’t she? Did you need to talk about that?”

  “Not really…”

  He scratched his peach-fuzz and cleared his throat. “Well then, how about the state university?” He handed me a brochure. “Here’s their viewbook.”

  I stuffed it in my book bag.

  “You really need to decide, okay? Let’s meet again in one week. Let me know if British Columbia accepts you.”

  “Um, okay.”

  He frowned. “Unless you have something else to discuss? It’s confidential, you know.”

  I wanted to say that he was more confused than I was, and his sessions didn’t help. Unfortunately I’m too polite; I just couldn’t bring myself to. I cleared my throat. “I don’t like all the pressure being put on me about college. My parents expect me to go. I’m not really ready to do it… I don’t think.”

  He bobbed his head up and down. I’ll bet he wasn’t hearing a damn thing I said, because his expression was unchanged as he looked above my head. He was back a few seconds later. “So you’re saying you don’t want to go?”

  “I don’t know. It just seems like there’s so much pressure on me and nobody but me.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that. For people your age in general, this is a very stressful time. If you don’t go, have you thought of what you will do for a living?”

  “I like to write,” I said.

  “Well, you can go to college for that. You have to have superior grammar and creativity to write. College will help. Especially a liberal arts degree.”

  I nodded. “I might think about that.”

  “How are midterms coming?”

  “They’re all next week.”

  “Planning to ace them all?” He raised his eyebrows and widened his smile. He reminded me of a car salesman.

  No, I’m planning to fail them all! What kind of question was that? “Yeah,” I said politely.

  “How’s the boyfriend?”

  I grew confused. “Which one?”

  He shrugged. “How many do you have?” he asked cheerfully.

  “Just one,” I confirmed. “I just wasn’t sure if you meant my current or my ex.”

  Mr. Bias nodded. “How’s he treating you?” He made a little hand gesture. “The current one.”

  “He’s great!” I said, my spirits lifting. “I’m moving in with him once we graduate.” Then I added, “Please don’t tell my parents.”

  His smile widened slightly. “What do your parents think about him?”

  “My dad hates him…” I muttered.

  “Good, good. How about your mom?”

  “I think she likes him, actually. But my mom isn’t as strict as my dad.” Who knew? My mom is normal.

  “Do you use protection?” he pried. He held his hands up when I frowned. “Confidential!”

  I laughed. What’s with this ballsy question?

  He waited for an answer, his smile small but put. I just didn’t want to talk about that. With him.

  Complete. Silence.

  “Well,” he lectured cheerfully. “I’m sure you know you should. Babies are pricey! And so are STDs!”

  “He doesn’t have any of those.”

  His eyes widened. He leaned forward and neatly folded his hands on his desk. “How do you know, Miss Morrison?”

  This man is weird.

  “I just do,” I said coyly. I didn’t get why he had to lecture me—I didn’t say we didn’t. I didn’t say anything.

  “Do you love him?” Mr. Bias asked.

  I nodded.

  “Does he love you?”

  A smile crossed my lips. “Yeah! I can tell.”

  Mr. Bias looked above my head dreamily. “Good, good. That’s what matters.”

  You know, I always wondered why I can’t interrogate him. Ask him what he and his wife use. Ask him what he’s doing next year, or in twenty years, and how he feels about that.

  He’s like a hound, he gets paid to sniff out gossip. Confidential my butt, he probably talks about it at the water cooler.

  When he snapped out of his little vacation, he rolled back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head, and put his feet on the desk again. “Well, Miss Morrison, why don’t you see me at this time next week? And give college some thought, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  ~ ~ ~

  At three o’clock I waited for Luke by my locker. I’d had a good writing class, and Tweezer was in school again. “I coach wrestling,” he reminded us, “you shouldn’t have expected a sub for too long.” Everyone laughed, though I didn’t think that was very funny.

  Lilly called during creative writing. She left a voice mail saying she’d be back tomorrow afternoon, and that I should meet her at her house. She said it’s a surprise and she expects me to keep it hush-hush. It seems she forgot who she’s talking to.

  I didn’t see him coming. His arms cradled my neck, and he kissed my cheek. “Guess what. I’m a free man,” he breathed in my ear, making my spine tingle. I turned around. He put his arms out and let them fall to his sides. “Wanna grab lunch?”

  “Did you miss lunch today?”

  “You know that cafeteria-barf doesn’t turn me on.” He grinned. “I’ll bet you know what does, though.”

  I felt myself blush. “A Big Mac?”

  He laughed.

  We headed out to his Jeep, where he unplugged it and wrapped the extension cord around the winch. In Alaska we plug our cars in to keep them from freezing, and happy when it’s time for them to start.

  He cranked the engine and we waited in silence for a while. Then we drove to McDonald’s and ordered the usual.

  Luke parked once we had our food. Moments later, his cell phone rang a little Mozart tune. His eyes alternated from me to the screen and back again. He mumbled something under his breath and hit the talk. “Hey.” His voice was shaky.

  He listened for a minute, holding the phone close to his ear. He glanced over at me. I ate my fries and pretended I wasn’t listening.

  “Are you serious? Why would I be happy about that?” He fell silent for a while, listening with a grimace. “Okay, I’ll see you then,” he finally mumbled. He listened some more and cleared his throat. “Yeah, fine. I can’t talk now. We’ll talk more when I see you.” Our eyes met. “Bye.” He hung up and threw the phone on the dashboard. He bit his lip, looking thoughtful.

  “Who was that?”

  He sipped his milkshake. “That was nobody.”

  I nodded and looked out my window. From the bit I heard, nobody sounded a lot like a girl. “Never met a Nobody before, is that a common name?” I asked with an awkward laugh.

  He didn’t find that funny.

  “Is something wrong?” I stared at him quizzically.

  “Nothing’s wrong.” Yet he was barely breathing.

  The silence grew awkward. I began feeling uncomfortable.

  “Come on, I know something’s wrong. Is it about last night?”

  He raised an eyebrow. Our eyes brushed. “No. I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Like…?” I pressed.

  He turned to face me. “If you found out something you don’t like about me, would you still stay with
me?”

  Okay, now he was freaking me out. He’d asked this question before.

  My heart raced. I felt myself tremble. “Something like what…?”

  “Just something you might have a problem with. Maybe something I didn’t mention before.”

  My breath stopped. “That wasn’t your first time, was it?”

  “I’m not talking about that. This is something else completely. Just… imagine the worst case scenario,” he struggled, “something taboo, that you’d have a problem with. Would you be mad?”

  I couldn’t see what he was getting at. What was he talking about, worst case scenario?

  My mouth dropped. “Oh my God, do you have an STD?!”

  “What! No! Absolutely not!” He looked offended. His eyes grew glossy. “It’s nothing that bad. I wouldn’t do that…” His voice trailed off. “It’s definitely not that.”

  I felt bad. But I was too concerned with what he hadn’t been telling me to apologize. “Oh. Okay.”

  Then. Utter. Silence.

  I wanted to know who he’d been talking to, because I had a really bad feeling.

  “Adonia?” he breathed. “Talk to me.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Are you seeing someone else?”

  “No…” He sighed and held his face. “Never mind.”

  I laughed, all jittery. My blood was rushing to my ears. I was panting. My body quivered. What did he have to hide that was so bad? “Never mind? Luke, I’m confused. I want to know if I’m missing something.”

  He started picking at the steering wheel. “You’re not… really.”

  “I think I am. Who was on the phone? It’s about her.”

  He heaved a sigh. “Can we just change the subject?” He looked at me, pale, breathing heavy again. “Please.”

  His response stunned me.

  Our eyes were locked for a while, and his look gradually softened. He took my hand. “Look, I’m sorry. I love you, okay?”

  “I feel nauseous,” I spat. “I want to go home and go to bed.”

  His eyes widened. “Nauseous? Why? What’s wrong?”

  I smiled mockingly. “It’s nothing. I’m just having a bad week.”

  He frowned. “Was last night part of your bad week?”

  “Not until now.”

  His face fell.

  The stress was beginning to choke me. I quickly added,

  “Look, I didn’t mean it that way.”

  “Okay,” he said, “because I don’t want you to regret it.”

  “I don’t.” I didn’t touch the rest of my food.

  After a while, he sighed, pulled out of the parking spot and started driving. I didn’t see why he couldn’t just tell me whom he was talking to, especially if he’s going to act all weird after talking to her.

  I was so anxious. I bet it’s his ex, probably coming up to see him.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I peered out my window until the house came into view. When the car stopped, he kissed me lightly.

  And for once, I didn’t bother kissing him back.

  With a heavy heart, I got out and slammed the door behind me. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, holding back tears.

  “Really? That’s it? Fine.” He put the car in reverse and peeled out.

  I was in shock. I suppose I’d been too harsh, but I wasn’t expecting that.

  I wanted to call him and apologize so bad. But then, why couldn’t he tell me who he was talking to? What worst case scenario? Why keep me in the dark about his ex coming up to see him? Why lie to me?

  My heart sank. Maybe my dad was right. Maybe Luke was just after something. Maybe he does this to lots of girls.

  And I fell for him. So bad.

  XIII

  Mom’s plane was scheduled to leave at 4:30. Dad and Sullivan said their goodbyes at home and I drove her, since someone had to bring the Jeep back. Dad was busy himself, packing for Arizona.

  Mom wore a black suit and sneakers, and she pulled a ton of luggage through the airport. At her terminal, she hugged me. It was barely even genuine. “I promise I’ll be home for Christmas. Do well in school, okay?”

  I nodded, all choked up. Of course I wanted to ask her to stay, but there’s no point, because she couldn’t. She has a career.

  “Are you all right?” she asked in a higher voice, so I could hear her over the loudspeaker. The airport was bright and practically deserted. It smelled like the floor had just been waxed.

  I nodded again, unsure I could find my voice. “I’ll miss you,” I finally uttered, feeling kind of lame.

  “Me too. Tell Luke I enjoyed meeting him, okay?” She pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose and looked at me over them. “Promise you’ll give college some more serious thought.”

  “You’ll miss your flight, Mom.”

  She pulled her ticket out of her suitcase and waved it at me. “See you soon!” Then she walked off with a slight limp.

  I watched as she presented her ticket. She seemed awfully glad to be leaving.

  My eyes watered. No matter how much I wanted to chase her, I held back. She’d been doing this since I was ten—you’d think I’d be used to it by now.

  I wonder if she enjoyed leaving us to travel the world, to learn interesting things and live with interesting people. I read in my career book that many anthropologists work for universities or museums. They’re not usually in other countries eleven-and-a-half months out of the year. But it’s understandable why she’d turned down that university job when it was offered last April—she’d have to be home with us when she could be doing cool things elsewhere instead.

  I left at 5:30, after the final off-duty flight attendant asked me if I was okay. I’d sat there for an hour, pathetic. Her plane was late, but she didn’t even bother coming back to spend a bit of extra time with me. No wonder she didn’t respect Dad’s punishments, or care if I had sex—she didn’t have to deal with it—Dad did.

  So I decided I’d start being nicer to Dad for a change. At least Dad cares.

  ~ ~ ~

  I got to Lilly’s house fifteen minutes early. It’s a tan, two-story home on Sunny Dale Road, a busy street that’s nowhere near as depressing as Massacre Lane.

  Having a full-time mom who loves spending time with you, taking you on vacation and shopping must be great. I literally wished they’d adopt me.

  I knocked on her door and kicked the snow off my boots as I waited for someone to answer.

  She answered, screaming joyously. She pulled me into her foyer and hugged me, still dressed for Florida; denim shorts and a tight pink Hawaiian tee shirt.

  “Wow! It feels like I’ve been gone forever!” She rubbed my cheek. “Uh oh, runny makeup… What’s going on!” she demanded.

  I hung up my coat. “My mom left.”

  “Oh…” After removing my boots, we went into the living room.

  Her living room’s about twice the size of mine. They have a three-piece leather couch set, a cute little fish tank coffee table, a sunflower ceiling fan, a cherry-colored entertainment center, a huge television and a fireplace. The place is squeaky clean and always smells like potpourri; I think her mom buys it by the ton.

  “It’ll be okay, Adonia.” Lilly sat on her couch, reached into a bag by her side and pulled out a small box. “For you, like I promised!”

  I sat beside her and opened the box with the pretty white bow. Earrings. Silver dolphin earrings. “These are cute!”

  She pulled something else out. “And here’s a Minnie Mouse from our trip to Disney World!”

  I laughed and squeezed her tight. “Thanks. I’m so glad you’re home early. I’ve been miserable.”

  “Miserable? You weren’t yesterday!”

  I nodded, unsure where to start.

  She reached for my diamond heart pendant. “This is new!”

  “My boyfriend got it for me.”

  She squealed. “So tell me about this boyfriend…”

  I was about to when the front door o
pened and the wind crept in. Then the door closed, and I waited for whomever it was to pass.

  “Hello, Adonia!” Lilly’s mom called as she hurried into the living room, hauling mass luggage behind her. “How are you?” she asked in her heavy German accent.

  I got up and she hugged me. She is no taller than Lilly and she’s thin, with whitening blonde hair and friendly, wrinkling blue eyes. She’s everything my mother isn’t: easy-going, affectionate, stress-free and energetic.

  “Good news, the airport found our luggage! It even took them under three hours this time!” she said, setting her purse down. “Did you introduce Adonia to your brother?”

  Lilly rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  “You should!” She looked me over. “The more friends you have around you the better, especially today. You seem really sad, honey!” She shook her head pitifully. “You know what, I did so much shopping, and I didn’t forget you! I just have to find it.” She looked at her watch. “Are you staying for dinner? I insist. I’ll call your dad and ask if you want me to! Would you like that?”

  I smiled weakly. “Sure, why not?”

  “Great.” She grabbed the handles on her luggage and hurried behind the swinging door that led to the kitchen, screaming something in German, presumably to somebody upstairs, from her loud tone.

  I smiled at Lilly. “I am so jealous! Your mom’s so much cooler than mine!”

  Lilly tucked her long hair behind her ears and patted the couch. I sat again, facing her. I took a deep breath, not sure where to start with all the details about Luke. But just then she looked past me, and screamed,

  “No, you can come in, we’re just talking!”

  When I looked over my shoulder, the kitchen door swung like someone just left. “Who was that?”

  “My brother. I’ll introduce you two!” she offered cheerfully. She screamed for him in German. When the door creaked, she ordered him over with her finger. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Okay, Adonia, finally, this is my twin brother, Lukasz!”

  I looked over my shoulder again.

  And there he was, in denim shorts and a yellow muscle shirt, with a crooked smile, waving at me.

  I did a double take.

  At no time in my life did I feel like a bigger idiot! And this idiot wasn’t breathing!