A Need So Insatiable

by Cecilia Robert

  “What do you mean?”

  “I told her I was sending her to live with our grandmother. Things aren’t going so well for me right now. It’s been difficult, and I’m so worried I’m not doing anything right.”

  “You were just looking out for her. Stop punishing yourself for this, all right? I have to make some calls first before we leave.”

  He excuses himself and stalks out of the restaurant. I lock the place up and wait outside for him to return.

  When he comes back, he looks different. His movements are controlled. Purposeful. His jaw and lips are set in a hard line. Even his eyes have a darker glint that wasn’t there before. I’ve never seen him angry. This is it. A very pissed Rafael. And I have no freakin’ idea what caused the change.

  He thrusts his hand at me, palm up. “Come.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,” I say, following him to his Jeep while checking my phone for missed calls.

  He stops so suddenly that I crash into him. His hands shoot out and grip my upper arms, steadying me. He ducks his head to meet my eyes. “Don’t ever apologize for calling me, Sophie. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “Good. Can you think of a place she loves to go to cool down?” he asks as we settle into his car. He reverses, then peels out of the parking lot. Seconds later, he weaves his fingers with mine, and I draw strength from that simple gesture.

  “Her room at home. She wasn’t there, though,” I say. Where else would she go? I mean, Vienna is such a small city, unless--

  “Holy shit!”

  Rafael cocks his brow at me. “You curse a lot.”

  “Sorry,” I say. “I have an idea where she could be.”

  TWENTY FIVE minutes later, we arrive at the cemetery. Rafael rounds the car to open my door. In the midst of everything, I hadn’t noticed what he was wearing--black pants, grey button-down shirt, and a bow-tie hanging loosely around his neck. He slips his arm across my shoulders, pulling me into him.

  “Sorry for disrupting your evening. Were you in a meeting?”

  He waves his free hand. “It’s not a big deal.”

  He drops a kiss on my hair. The gesture is natural and flawless; it floors me.

  We arrive at the “F” section. My pulse picks up a wild beat as I squint through the dark. There’s a small body, dressed in black shirt and pants, curled on top of my parents’ grave.

  “Lilli!”

  I break away from Rafael, racing toward Lilli. She jerks her head up and leaps to her feet. For just a second, she looks as if she’s about to dart off in the opposite direction. Instead, she barrels toward me, sobbing loudly in the quiet evening. Our bodies collide on impact, and I feel as though my world is ending and beginning at the same time.

  “Lilli!” I breathe into her ear, as I drop to my knees on the dewy grass, pulling her down with me. “Thank God! We found you.”

  “I’m so sorry, Soph.” She sobs the words into my neck. “I’m so sorry I caused you so much pain. I--I tried running away because I wanted to punish you for--”

  “Shh.” I hug her tighter. “Don’t say it. Don’t think about it. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

  Above Lilli’s head, Rafael’s gaze meets mine. I mouth, “Thank you,” then motion for him to move closer. He shakes his head, rolling his eyes when I insist. He drops to one knee, his strong arms wrap around me and Lilli, and it feels amazing.

  Eventually, Lilli pulls back, shivering, and wipes her face with the back of her hand, darting a watery gaze at Rafael.

  “I’m Lilli,” she says shyly as she tries to hide her face.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lilli,” Rafael says, stripping his jacket and wrapping it around her small shoulders.

  I murmur, “Thank you,” again, and he nods once.

  “I--I can’t lose you too, Soph. I can’t,” Lilli says in a whisper as we exit the cemetery, her head tucked under my arm.

  Rafael walks ahead of us to the Jeep.

  “What do you mean?” I ask in a low voice, sneaking a glance around, hoping my voice doesn’t carry too far. Shit! Was Tony watching the grave today?

  “The bad men. If I leave, and then something happens to you and I’m not there . . .”

  I halt, and turn her around. “You saw how suavely I dodged those men the other day.” She doesn’t smile, and tears start running down her cheeks again. “Nothing will happen to me. I promise you. Besides, in about six months, everything will be sorted out, and you can come back. I’ll visit you often. Whether you want me to, or not.”

  She hugs me suddenly. “I love you so much, and I’m sorry for what I said the other day . . . about Mom. I will miss you so much.”

  “I know, sweetheart, I know. But, please, you have to stay safe for me.”

  She sniffs. “I met this boy, Tony. He kept me company, but left before you came for me. Said he was going to keep me safe.”

  My chest clenches painfully, knowing something might have happened, but didn’t. She’s safe. “You’re safe now, honey.” I kiss her hair, pulling her tighter.

  Rafael waits for us in front of his car.

  Rafael

  WHERE THE hell is Gustav? He was on watch today, and was supposed to keep an eye on Lilli while Ben sorted out some things I need for Saturday’s trip. That little fucker is fired, but first, I’ll punch him for this.

  From the mirror, I watch Sophie sitting in the back seat with her sister in her arms. Lilli dozed off as soon as she got inside the car. I have a feeling it would take a phenomenal effort to pull them apart right now.

  She excuses herself to call Jace and Dani, to let them know what’s happening. After she hangs up, she leans her head back, meeting my gaze in the mirror and mouths, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For helping me hold it together when I thought I would die.” She strokes Lilli’s hair with her beautiful, slender fingers. Strong, yet gentle. Her eyes are dry, but worry lines fan the corners.

  Doesn’t she ever cry? Any other person would, but not her. It’s like she’s made of steel.

  As soon as we hit the street she lives on, Sophie points me in the direction of her house. I’m not about to tell her I know where she lives. She doesn’t need my shit on top of what’s going on.

  After parking in front of her house, I round the car and scoop Lilli into my arms, waiting as Sophie unlocks the gate. Her back is to me as she cranes her neck, scanning the street. She breathes out, and turns to face me, the frown that was on her face seconds before easing into a smile.

  I scan my surroundings as I stride up the path leading to her house. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kravic had posted one of his morons to keep watch. I carry Lilli inside, following Sophie into a nightmare of a room. Black walls, purple carpet, black curtains . . .

  “Don’t even ask,” she says before I can open my mouth. Laying her sister on the black bedspread, I head back downstairs to wait for Sophie.

  Twenty minutes later, she shuffles down the steps, wearing an ugly ass t-shirt that looks like it time-traveled from the 1970s, and baggy pants. Even dressed like that, she can’t hide her luscious little body, and curvy hips from my hungry eyes.

  “She’s still knocked out,” she says, heading for the kitchen. She opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine, raising it to me in question. I shake my head. I’m not about to risk getting drunk with her in the room. I can’t trust myself around her as it is. “I’ve never felt so weak in my life.” She uncorks the bottle, tips it to the glass, stops, shakes her head, and takes a huge gulp directly from the bottle.

  She lowers it, grimacing, and walks to stand beside me, staring at me through golden eyes rimmed with red. I’m not sure if she’d been crying upstairs, or if she’s just exhausted. Either way, there are no tears in her eyes.

  Weak? This girl is so damn strong she puts me to shame. I slide my hand to cup her face, and she leans into it. Damn, this feels amazing! I brush my thumb along her jaw.


  “You are one of the strongest people I know. You’re damn perfect in my book.”

  “Don’t say that,” she says, closing her eyes briefly. “I’m not as strong and perfect as you think I am. Please, don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m not faultless. Not by a long shot. I don’t deserve being up there.”

  “You are,” I say, emphasizing each word. “So much has happened to you, and yet, here you are, still standing. You are strong, Sophie.”

  “Rafael . . . I’ve not always been this girl. I’ve done things . . .”

  “Whatever it is, it shouldn’t matter anymore.” Who am I trying to convince, myself or her?

  She smiles, sighs, and kisses my palm. Blood roars in my ears. I want to kiss her and erase the sad look on her face, chase whatever demons are torturing her right this moment. But I can’t do that. Right now, she’s let her defenses down. She’s wide open for anything. A very bad idea to kiss her.

  “I don’t know why I specifically called you,” she says, seemingly out of the blue. She lifts her head from my palm to look at me. She’s biting her lower lip, eyebrows pulled down, as if in deep thought.

  “What do you mean?”

  She shakes her head, focusing her beautiful eyes on mine again. “I could have handled this. I could have called Carsten, but it was you I called.”

  Who the fuck is Carsten? I swallow hard. From my sources, namely Jace, Sophie doesn’t have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, but I’m fucking selfish, and I want to be the one she turns to. I want to be the one who holds her hand if she needs me to. I want to be the one to snap that control she’s holding onto so hard. Not some idiot named Carsten.

  “I gave you my number in case you needed anything,” I say, surprisingly calm.

  “I know, but I haven’t known you for very long. I shouldn’t trust you like I do. I have no idea why I called you. I just did,” she says, pulling my gaze back to hers.

  “You trust me?”

  She stares at me, her eyes so soft and gentle. I feel that dark part of my soul I unfold. The way she’s looking at me is pure, unprejudiced. I suddenly realize that, more than anything, I need her to see me. For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid to let somebody peel the layers that define me. See the real me. I can’t be just any man. I have to be the kind of man she deserves, needs and wants. I crave this so damn bad. I need to know if she feels the same way; if her hunger and desire for me is so insatiable, no other man’s love, kiss or touch will do. Only mine. Because it’s always been her for me. Even after all this time, only her.

  She’s my redemption. I stagger away from her, overwhelmed by that realization. Her eyebrows pull down. “You okay?”

  I nod, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Give me your keys so I can have Ben bring the Honda.”

  She studies me for a few seconds, then straightens, hiding the hurt that was so clear on her face moments ago, and leaves to get her keys. By the time she returns and hands them to me, I’m calmer. In control. She drops them on my outstretched hand, and takes a step back.

  “I really appreciate this, thank you.” She twists the edges of her t-shirt with her fingers.

  “You’ve thanked me five times tonight.”

  “I don’t know what else to do or say.”

  She looks so breakable, so beautiful; it melts my resolve to leave.

  “Come here.”

  I’m such an ass for giving her mixed signals. This is what I’ve been dreaming of--Sophie, finally, in my life. I know if she finds out the things I’ve done, she might not want anything to do with me. But I don’t care right now. I want her. I’ve wanted, needed this since I walked out of her life all those years ago.

  So stop being a dick and man up.

  “Come here, Sophie.”

  She falls into my arms as if she’s been waiting for those words her whole damn life, and sighs when I press my lips to her hair.

  “Six times.”

  “What?” I ask.

  She pulls back and meets my gaze. “You’ve kissed my hair six times today.”

  She’s been counting? Hell, I’ll aim for twenty before I leave.

  She smiles, and I’m tempted to lick the dimple on her chin. “Must be the shampoo I use.”

  “Must be.” My arms tighten around her small frame. “I received your text. Thank you.”

  “Good timing, huh?” she says with a chuckle.

  “Perfect,” I say. “What did you want to do?”

  “Dinner. But after all that drama . . . oh, wait. Don’t move.” She wiggles from my arms and dashes to the kitchen, returning with a triumphant smile on her face. “Here. Bon appetit.” She hands me a protein bar.

  I chuckle, tugging her back into my arms. “I love a resourceful woman.”

  “Stick with me, and you’re in for a ride.”

  My hands grip her waist tighter as I brush my lips against the shell of her ear. “I’m planning on sticking with you, on you, any way you want, baby.” I dip my head down, running the tip of my tongue along the exposed side of her neck.

  She shivers, grabs my shirt front and slams her mouth on mine, nipping my bottom lip. Her unexpected, bold move sends blood rushing down my dick. Christ, I need her so fucking bad. My hands leave her waist to tangle in her hair as I part my lips for her. Within a second, she’s inside my mouth, exploring it, owning it, owning me. She tastes like chocolate, and a hint of nuts. So damn good. I’d told her she wasn’t ready for me to kiss her. Turns out I wasn’t ready for her kiss.

  Sliding one hand down her spine, I circle my arm around her waist and back her into the living room wall. Hooking my hands on the back of her knees, I pull her legs to my hips. She sucks in a breath as my erection presses between her legs. My heart is racing so hard in my chest, I don’t care if the whole fucking world hears it. It beats for her, and I want her to know it.

  She pulls her tongue from my mouth and leans back, her chest rising and falling. I press my forehead against hers, breathing as hard as she is. She licks her full bottom lip. How would that tongue feel on me?

  “Open for me.” My command is soft, hoarse, needy. I don’t fucking care. I want inside her mouth right now.

  She shakes her head and wiggles her curvy ass, trying to untangle herself from me. She drops to the floor, ducking under my arm. I spin, tracking her with my gaze before stalking after her. I grab her waist, but she ducks away, giggling.

  “Come back here, you little tease,” I growl. She slaps a hand over her mouth and laughs harder, scrambling away when I reach out again. My legs are longer, and I’m faster. I snatch her up before she makes it to the hallway, but she presses that wicked mouth shut.

  “Open for me, Sophie.”

  She clamps a hand over my mouth. “I’m not kissing you again. You’ve been pussyfooting around kissing me, so I made your mind up for you. We’re playing by my rules now.”

  I nibble her palm until she drops it from my mouth.

  “Your rules, huh?”

  She nods, looking very pleased with herself.

  I lean forward and brush my tongue against her labret, licking and nibbling her jaw until my lips are pressed to the shell of her ear again. Her chest heaves as she tries to control her breathing. She wants me to kiss her, but I won’t. Not until she needs my kiss so fucking bad, she can’t see straight.

  “We’ll see about that.”

  Christ, I need to control myself before I do something to scare her. What I feel for this girl . . . when I’m with her, the rest of the world falls away. Her kindness and beauty swallows up all my darkness. She looks at me like I’m the center of her universe.

  I’m not about to destroy that.

  I slide my arm away, and move to stop myself from touching her again, because if I do, I might not leave. She staggers a bit, and rights herself, grabbing the couch for support.

  Damn right, Butterfly.

  ONCE I leave Sophie’s house, I dial Gustav’s number. It rings twice before he picks up.

  “My
house. Now.”

  I disconnect the call before he can speak. Where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he with Lilli? Kravic could have easily done something, taken her. Shit. I’m so wound up, and my dick’s so hard after that kiss. I don’t know where to focus my frustration. I need to hit something. Preferably Gustav’s face. I settle for the gym.

  I change from the suit into drawstring shorts, foregoing a shirt, and head to the basement. I grab the red and blue handwraps from the shelf at the bottom of the stairs and wrap my hands. I press the start button on the remote control. Linkin Park fills the space, screaming in my ears. Slipping on my gloves, I stalk to the punching bag, summoning all my frustrations and fears.

  Thump. So fucking insane, wanting her this bad. Thump. Thump. I can’t stay away from her. I’m crazy in love with her, and she doesn’t even know. Thump. Thump. Thump. I want to bury myself inside her so damn bad. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. I’m going to kill Gustav. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

  I move to the speed bag.

  I broke my promise to come back for her. Rap rap rap rap rap rap.

  The front bell shrills, interrupting my attack on the bag. I glance at the small screen on the shelf to the far right.

  Gustav.

  Pressing the pause button on the remote control, I buzz him in and climb the stairs to wait him out in the living room. He shuffles in seconds later, his grey eyes darting around the room. His lanky build looks lankier than a few days ago, and his right eye is covered in a blue bruise. He didn’t have that when I saw him last.

  He stops when he sees me standing in the middle of the room.

  “Where the fuck have you been, Gustav?”

  “Kravic needed me,” he says, slowing to a stop six feet from me, shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “Kravic? What the hell? You still work for him?”

  He shifts on his feet, refusing to meet my gaze.

  “Give me one reason I shouldn’t bust your head open right now.”

  He drags his fingers through his hair, and starts to pace. “I still owe him money.”