The Darkest of Shadows

by Lisse Smith

  “It’s not really practical for me to be seen speaking with you in public. Too many people will read into it; so for your protection, I thought it best to conduct our conversation in private.”

  “We’re not having a conversation,” I told him, as I moved back toward the door. “We have nothing to say to each other, and I’d appreciate it in the future if you could refrain from this type of behavior.”

  “Oh, but there you are wrong, Lilly. We have much to discuss.” His words followed me down the hall, and I was more than surprised that he didn’t try and stop me from leaving.

  Lawrence shook his head and watched her retreat down the hall. There she was, walking away from him again. She stood before him with absolute grace and didn’t for one moment believe that she wasn’t as worthy as he.

  She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered—maybe more so—and he thought that it was likely that she became more appealing every time that he saw her. She intrigued him, and, more astonishingly, she amused him. It took a great deal to amuse Lawrence Monterey these days, and without conscious effort, Lilly seemed to be able to bring that rare emotion to the surface.

  He knew a lot about this woman, certainly more than he had at their first meeting, but he also realized that he knew nowhere near enough. It was time to make a decision: did he want to pursue this, was he interested, or was this like all the other women, all the other moments in his past, destined for disappointment?

  Was she worth it?

  The dinner portion of the evening was over by the time I returned to the function room, which allowed for everyone to start mingling among the tables. I had no idea where Patrick was when I finally found my way back to our table, only to find it deserted. Screw Patrick, this whole evening was a bad idea, I was going home.

  I struggled through the crowds toward the exit before a hand grabbed my arm, and I came to an abrupt stop. “Lilly, wait.”

  I turned to meet Patrick’s confused gaze. “Sorry I lost you in the crowd,” he apologized.

  I shook my head at him. “No, I’m sorry,” I told him. This was a big night for him, and he should enjoy it. “I’m going home; please, you stay.” I tried to stall his words. “I’m really not feeling well, and I think it best if I have an early night.”

  “Are you all right?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

  “I’m fine.” I pulled my arm from his grasp. “There’s just too many people in here.”

  He nodded in understanding, and I hated that I had lied to him. “Do you want me to come over later?” he asked.

  “I’ll probably be asleep.” I doubted that, but I also wasn’t up for that tonight. “Come over tomorrow, and we’ll spend the day together.” I compromised with an offer that I knew that he would accept.

  “Sure.” He nodded eagerly. “I’ll see you then.” I slipped out the doors before he could add anything else.

  It didn’t improve my already frazzled state when I found myself escorted from the building by surfer boy. But other than walking quietly beside me, he remained silent as we left.

  With a quick wave of his hand a car pulled out from down the street and swept quietly up to the curb beside us. But when he held open the back door of the very impressive 4WD, I simply stared at him in shock.

  “I’ll get a taxi, thanks,” I muttered, as I backed away. There was absolutely no way I was getting into a car associated with Monterey Enterprises.

  Surfer boy followed me across the sidewalk, “Mr. Monterey insists.”

  I resisted the urge to tell him what exactly Mr. Monterey could do and instead turned and started walking in the opposite direction. He appeared beside me so quietly that I flinched away. “Go away.” I stopped walking, suddenly not too sure that I wanted to leave the security of the lights at the front of the building.

  He shrugged. “I’ve been told to see you safely home, Ms. Owen. I can’t do that if I go away.”

  “You don’t have to do any such thing,” I assured him, a frown creasing my eyes. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m perfectly capable to getting a taxi, so please go back inside.”

  He totally ignored me. I did notice a slight crinkle at the edges of his eyes, but other than that, I might not have spoken at all. It had been a really long night, and I was tired and starting to be a little afraid that I’d bitten off more than I could chew with Lawrence Monterey, when lo and behold, who should step up to stand beside surfer boy but Monterey himself.

  “Lillianna,” he huffed, in obvious exasperation. “If you insist on going home, at least use some sense and get in the car.”

  My mouth actually fell open in shock.

  “It’s too dangerous to be roaming the streets by yourself, and you’ll find it difficult to get a taxi at this time of night. Take the car.” He indicated the black Range Rover that waited patiently behind us.

  Just then, and I thanked God for it, a taxi crawled lazy down the street toward us. I turned, and without a word I stepped out into the road to flag it down. Within the space of a minute, I was inside and headed down the street without having to entertain any more strange conversations with Lawrence Monterey.

  I thought about that night a lot the next day and finally came to the conclusion that the whole situation was totally beyond my comprehension. Patrick came over just before lunch, and I dragged him out for a walk in Kensington Gardens. I was unsettled, and I hadn’t felt like that for a long while. Yesterday I would almost have said that I was happy with where I was in my life, but now I wasn’t so sure. But what I was certain of was that the source of that disturbance was Lawrence Monterey. He was too strong, too dominant, and he messed with my nice, ordered existence.

  Patrick, his usual observant and patient self, knew something was bothering me, but instead of pushing for answers, he just walked silently beside me. Later, when it got dark and quiet and it was just the two of us, he soothed me in a way that only he could. For a short while I forgot; when I was just with him, I could be anyone I wanted, forget who I really was. Forget Lawrence Monterey.

  TEXT: LM at party last nite…

  REPLY: Dominant arrogant one?

  TEXT: Thats him. I dont know what to do

  REPLY: what do u mean?

  TEXT: hes messing with me

  REPLY: Does he know u with PS

  TEXT: Probably. Yes. But doesnt care

  REPLY: strange. R u in trouble

  TEXT: probably. I think i need to leave

  REPLY: where. When

  TEXT: not sure. Soon.

  REPLY: Will PS let u

  TEXT: Cant stop me

  REPLY: pls b careful

  TEXT: they wont know where ive gone.

  REPLY: Sleep on it.

  TEXT: k

  I did, and morning bought no clearer enlightenment, but what I did know was that I had to get away from Lawrence Monterey. He was a danger to me, in a very real sense. I wasn’t strong enough to play his games. I barely managed to function in the world as it was, but in his world? The stakes were too high and the game too fierce for someone as unstable as me.

  There seemed to be a strange edge of excitement in the office when I arrived on Monday morning. It certainly wasn’t coming from me—I was feeling tired and drained—but something was clearly up.

  “Lilly!” Sally came bowling up to me in the foyer, almost like she had been waiting for me. “Have you heard?” she asked excitedly.

  “Obviously not.” I smiled at her in welcome. “Please do enlighten me.”

  “Parsons sold the company,” she exclaimed excitedly.

  My stomach dropped to an alarming level. “Who to?” My hand reached out to grasp hold of her arm. “Sally.” She was bouncing around so much she didn’t hear my question. I resisted the urge to slap her and asked again. “Sally, who did he sell to?”

  “No idea,” she exclaimed, as we both piled into the lift. “No one does. Only got word out on e-mail this morning that it’s sold, effective today.”

  That was quick
. Or maybe not. Maybe the process had been in place for some time, and they were only now telling the staff. But surely Patrick would have been aware of it before now. As it turns out, I never had to ask Patrick. The answer to my question waited for me in his office.

  I wasn’t expecting him to have company at this hour, so I didn’t knock; I just surged through his door in my usual manner, the words already leaving my lips before I even saw him sitting at his desk.

  “Patrick. What’s going on?” My words faded into the silence of the room and before I knew it, I was backing up, backing out of that office and backing away from what it contained.

  “Lilly?” Patrick’s voice had no effect on me. My gaze had locked onto one person: Lawrence Monterey, who sat quietly and confidently in the chair across from Patrick’s desk.

  I backed into the door, a door that shouldn’t have been there. I had left it open when I came into the room, but now it was shut. My eyes closed for a second as my body finally acknowledged the two presences on either side of me, on either side of the door. Monterey’s two guards were never far from him; in fact, I berated myself for not paying more attention. I should have known they would be there.

  A hand closed over mine as I tried to get the door open behind me. I jerked away and stepped back into the room a pace.

  “Are you all right?” Patrick moved around his desk and stopped just before me. “What’s wrong?”

  “What’s he doing here?” I barely got the words out and I could see that they confused Patrick, because he shot a look between Lawrence Monterey’s calm features and my very pale ones.

  “Lilly, Mr. Monterey just bought the company from Samuel. He’s here to finalize the details.”

  I could feel my control slipping; I could feel my careful hold on sanity tip closer toward that place I never wanted to go. I wrapped my arms around my body and stared up into Patricks’ shaken face.

  “I’m sorry,” I stammered in apology. “I’m intruding.”

  “Stay.” Lawrence’s voice echoed loudly in the room. “I was just discussing the staffing situation with Patrick, and you should hear this, too.” He announced.

  I don’t believe I wanted to hear it, and part of me hoped beyond hope that if they laid people off, I would be one of the first.

  Patrick returned to his seat and he indicated for me to take the one next to Lawrence, but that was about as likely as Sally learning to mind her own business. I chose instead to circle around them both and stand beside the window. I needed the serenity that the view out these windows usually gave me; any small amount of peace was welcome.

  “As you can appreciate, we have a large workforce in the UK, and some of the key responsibilities of this company will be managed by the team that I already have in place. There are going to be some cutbacks; it’s inevitable, and it is important for the future success of this venture,” Lawrence explained. “There will also be some amalgamations concurrent with the purchase. Some of the smaller entities will be moved and, in some cases, broadened, but it’s probably most important right now to finalize the management structure, because it’s from that level that the rest of the organization will move forward.”

  Patrick nodded in understanding. As hard as it was, no doubt, to hear, it was the reality of big business; and management knew all too well about the expendable nature of their employment. I think in that moment, both Patrick and I believed that he was probably going to be one of the expendable ones.

  “Marie Whitney and Peter First’s positions are no longer viable. Their positions can be covered by the HR and finance team I already have in place within my other companies. Ashlan Moroney will be asked to stay on, if that’s what he’s interested in doing. He is a rare mind and an asset to the company.”

  Patrick and Lawrence shared a long, silent stare; both of them knew that Patrick was next. “Your position is a bit difficult,” Lawrence went on. “Every time I purchase an existing business, I always get rid of the highest-level managers; their loyalty is suspect, and experience has proven that the best outcome for everyone is if I put my own people in the more visible roles.”

  “I see,” Patrick said slowly, and I could see how much this hurt him. He loved his job and had given up much—his whole family, to be precise—for what he enjoyed doing. It was painful to see him become a casualty of big business.

  “The position you hold will be made redundant, and one of my own people will step up to be the Managing Director of Operations,” Lawrence continued, and I felt my heart sink. “However, I am aware of your skills, and I am conscious of what you bring to this organization. I would prefer not to lose your particular assets if I can help it.”

  Why did that sound like a bargaining statement?

  Lawrence met Patrick’s gaze for a long moment, before he pulled out the wild card. “I’d like to move some of the offices around.” He continued. “I’d like some of your staff transferred to our main corporate offices here in London, and there will be some other location changes later on for specific people.”

  Patrick shot me a strange look before turning his attention back to Lawrence. “Which staff?” he asked outright, and I wondered why that bothered him. For me, all that mattered was that I was probably going to get a new boss, someone of Lawrence’s choosing—but then I wasn’t terribly worried because I wouldn’t be around long enough to care. All it would take was some travel arrangements, and I could be anywhere in the world.

  “Lillianna will be transferred to my offices,” Lawrence stated simply and sharply.

  It took a moment for his words to sink in. “What?” I stammered pushing away from my position by the window. “What did you say?” I asked him.

  “I would like Lillianna to accept the position of my own personal assistant,” Lawrence announced and I watched as Patrick’s eyes narrowed. “I am currently without the services of a dedicated aide, and from what I hear about her skills, she would suit me perfectly.”

  “NO.” I think I might have yelled that. “No. Thanks for the offer, but no.” I tried for a calmer response the second time.

  Patrick spoke quietly, almost to himself, “I think you might find, Lilly,” he told me sadly, “that the fate of both our jobs rests on your accepting that offer.”

  “I don’t understand.” What the hell was going on here?

  Lawrence, for all the time that I’d been in the office, still hadn’t addressed me directly; and even now, when I was rejecting his offer, he still didn’t take the time to even turn in my direction. He addressed his comments directly to Patrick, like there was some answer that Patrick needed him to give.

  “I’ve just purchased a mining venture in Australia,” he told Patrick. “It’s extensive, volatile, and highly profitable, and I need a Managing Director of Operations. The position covers that, but it also oversees all my business interests in Australia and around Asia.”

  “You want me to trade Lilly for a Managing Director’s job?” Patrick’s voice was slow and even, while I was pretty sure that I’d stepped into another reality. Were they serious? I just couldn’t get my head around what I was hearing.

  “I’m offering you an opportunity to further advance your career.” Lawrence met his gaze. “What you do with that opportunity is your own affairs.”

  That slide I was so worried about was quickly becoming a landslide, and if I didn’t get out of this craziness soon, I would find myself in a rubble at the bottom of a painful ride—and I had promised myself that I would never go there again.

  It only took me a moment to realize that this didn’t mean anything. I stepped forward into the room, drawing both their attention. My back was ramrod straight and my mind clearer than it had been in some time.

  “Take the job, Patrick,” I told him with a nod. “You are good at what you do, and Mr. Monterey would be lucky to have you work for him.” Patrick wasn’t sure what to make of my little speech.

  “Mr. Monterey.” I finally drew his eyes to me. “I thank you for your offer, but I regret
to inform you that I must decline.” I regally inclined my head to them both and walked purposefully toward the door. This time, the two gorillas didn’t make any attempt to stop me.

  I opened the door and, with my hand still on the handle, I turned back to them both. “I hereby tender my resignation from whatever company I’m currently employed with. I won’t be giving my two weeks’ notice, as I think it is unwise for all of our sakes for me to stay. Enjoy your life, gentlemen.”

  “Lilly!” Both Patrick and Lawrence called my name as I moved out into the office that Sally and I shared.

  She had obviously heard what I had said and sat with her hands covering the lower part of her face, tears leaking silently from her compassionate eyes. I smiled to reassure her and grabbed my bag off the desk where I had thrown it when I came in, but Patrick’s voice stopped me before I could go any further.

  “Lilly, don’t do this.”

  “Do what, Patrick?” I asked him. “I’m sorry that this is happening, but you will get another job. If not with Monterey, then you will find another one. You’re brilliant, and if he doesn’t see it, then that’s his loss.”

  “Don’t make rash decisions when your judgment is clouded by anger,” he told me seriously. “You should take the job, Lilly.”

  “Why?” I asked him in surprise. “I don’t need the job.” Then understanding dawned. He wanted the job in Australia. He wanted it very much, and he wanted to accept the trade that Lawrence was offering.

  As I stood there staring at the man who had just whored my services off to another man for a job, I felt sick and dirty and unbelievably angry. And the cause of all this trouble stood silent and attentive just behind him. He was waiting for me to say yes; he expected it, anticipated it.

  “You son of a bitch!” I hissed. Then in a voice that was low so that only Lawrence and Patrick could hear, I added, “Fuck you, Patrick. Fuck you for thinking I’m a whore.” I spat the words at him, letting the pain and anger show like a black cloud in my eyes. Then I turned to Lawrence. “And fuck you, Lawrence Monterey. You will never own me!”