Cut and Run

by Amy Elizabeth

  A tall figure appeared in the doorway, and Rebecca beamed when she turned to see Tommy. “Hey,” she greeted.

  “Hey,” he replied, returning her smile as he took a seat beside her.

  He looked as awful as she undoubtedly did, his face bruised and swollen. Rebecca could feel the bandages on his ribs as she slid her arms around him and gave him a grateful hug. She knew beyond any doubt that neither she nor Alec would be alive right now if not for Tommy.

  “You are the best friend I’ve ever had,” she whispered, kissing his cheek as she pulled back to look at him. “I could never thank you enough for what you did.”

  Tommy gave a modest shrug, like he dodged bullets and rushed into burning buildings every day. “How is he, by the way? Any news?”

  “None.”

  Roger and Tommy looked distraught. “I’d better give Lucy a call,” Roger said. “Looks like Walter may have to stay in town longer than we figured.”

  After he’d left, Tommy turned to Rebecca. “Who was that guy, anyway?”

  “Would you believe my ex-boyfriend?”

  “I don’t think I wanna believe that.”

  “That makes two of us,” she agreed. “Do you remember anything that happened at the farmhouse?”

  “Plenty. I heard some sort of commotion and when I snuck around to the side of the porch, he tackled me. Normally I can hold my own, but the guy was like a rabid animal.”

  “Yeah. That’s how he gets when he’s high.”

  Tommy was silent for a moment, staring down at the ground. “Everything happened so fast. He kicked me in the ribs, I hit the ground, and he grabbed my gun right out of my hands. That’s the last thing I remember.” He drew in a deep breath and glanced up at her. “He shot Alec with my gun, didn’t he?”

  She nodded gently.

  “I figured as much. Buckshot spreads as soon as it leaves the barrel. That explains all the blood.” He paused and shook his head. “That little handgun of his wouldn’t have done nearly the same damage, you know. But my shotgun damn near blew his shoulder off.”

  Rebecca touched his hand. “It’s not your fault.”

  Her heart went out to him as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, Bec. I just keep thinking that if I’d done something different–”

  “Tommy, it’s not your fault,” she repeated, although she felt every excruciating ounce of his guilt.

  Eventually Tommy, Allison, and Roger returned to the ranch for the night, making her promise to call the second she received news about Alec. Rebecca tried to force a couple bites of food down, but her appetite was nonexistent. Jeff was sound asleep in the other bed, still trying to recover from his own ordeal. She was staring wide-eyed at the ceiling when a different nurse came by to clear her tray.

  “Are you having trouble sleeping, dear?”

  “Yes. But I don’t want to sleep, just in case Alec wakes up.”

  “Honey, even if he does, you won’t be able to see him right away. And you’re not going to do him or anyone else any good if you don’t take care of yourself.”

  Rebecca rubbed her swollen eyes. She’d probably cried more in the past twenty-four hours than she had in her entire life.

  “I’m just so worried.”

  The nurse nodded in understanding and patted her hand. “I’m going to give you something to help you sleep, okay? I promise that if there’s any change, I’ll wake you up. Does that sound alright?”

  Reluctantly she agreed. She struggled back to alertness hours later, confused to see sunlight pouring in through the window. How long did I sleep? she wondered, groggily reaching for the call button.

  Before she could press it, however, Pauline entered her room. “Oh, good. I was just coming in to get you.”

  Rebecca’s stomach lurched. “What is it?”

  She uttered the two most precious words Rebecca had ever heard. “He’s awake.”

  *

  “You can’t stay long,” Pauline said as she helped Rebecca to her feet. “But the two of you are driving us bonkers. You’re all he’s asked about.”

  She gave a small laugh as she positioned her weight on the crutches. “You’re sure you don’t want a wheelchair?” the nurse added.

  “No, I’ll be fine. Lead the way.”

  “Rebecca,” she said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You need to prepare yourself for what you’re going to see. He looks terrible, and he’s still drifting in and out of consciousness. He’s not going to be his usual self for a while yet.”

  She swallowed hard. “I can handle it.”

  They took the elevator down a floor and made their way to the I.C.U. ward. “Be very quiet,” Pauline said, opening the door to room 202. “I’ll give you fifteen minutes.”

  Rebecca took a deep breath as she hobbled into the room. Instantly she stopped in her tracks, glad that Pauline had warned her to prepare herself. At least a dozen different machines beeped and clicked around Alec. His entire left shoulder and chest were bandaged with thick gauze, and his arm was encased in a sling. An alarmingly large bag of fluid drained into his hand, and thin tubes ran from his nose and disappeared behind the bed. His skin was ashen and his face was completely devoid of expression. If she hadn’t known for sure that he was alive, she would have sworn she was looking at a corpse.

  He didn’t move when she tentatively sat beside him. “Alec?” she whispered, gently touching his free hand.

  No response.

  Two tears leaked out of her eyes as she leaned over to kiss his forehead. “Can you hear me?” she choked, pressing his cold hand to her face. “I’m so sorry, Alec. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It should be me in this bed right now, not you.”

  Her heart fluttered when he stirred. “Rebecca?”

  “I’m here,” she assured him, reaching out to touch his cheek. “I’m right here.”

  At last Alec opened his eyes, squinting through the dim light. Then he saw her face, and he gave a very feeble smile. “You’re okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she replied as she scooted closer.

  “Everyone else?”

  “They’re all okay. Your father and Tommy and the horses–everyone’s fine.”

  “That’s good.” He still looked as if he could pass out at any moment. “How long has it been?”

  “Almost two days. I’ve been so worried about you.”

  “I was worried about you, too.” He frowned as he traced his thumb across her bruised cheekbone. “He hurt you, Bec.”

  She leaned into his touch. “It doesn’t matter. He can’t anymore.”

  Chapter 20

  Rebecca yawned and turned onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. After three months of sleeping in a tiny bunk, the luxurious spread of Alec’s bed felt like heaven. And even though he was in the hospital recouping, the sheets still held his wonderful scent. She’d lay here all day and just drink it in if she could.

  The ten days since the fire were the most hectic days of her life. She hired a cleaning crew to repair the damage in the kitchen, since she couldn’t stomach the thought of doing it herself. Together she and Allison cleaned Jeff’s apartment and canceled the rest of the reservations for the summer. Tommy and Roger took charge of the ranch, looking after the animals and hiring a team of contractors to remove the debris of the desecrated barn. She and Tommy also met with Deputy Harris to provide a detailed statement of everything that happened that night.

  And, of course, Rebecca visited the hospital every day, glad to see that Alec was returning to his ornery self. He would need a couple months’ worth of physical therapy, but so far the doctors were happy with his progress. They seemed confident that he would be ready to go home by the end of the week.

  With a reluctant sigh, she kicked off the covers and headed for the bathroom. As much as she tried to ignore it, she couldn’t shake the notion that waking up in Alec’s room felt like the most natural thing in the world. Her toothbrush and facial wash looked right at home next to his cologne and electri
c razor. Even her pile of laundry beside the tub seemed like it had always been there. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she scooped up her clothes and headed downstairs.

  As busy as she’d been with the clean-up efforts, most of her time and energy was focused right here, where it was needed most. Lucy was just wheeling Walter out of his bedroom when Rebecca emerged from the laundry room.

  “Morning, Walt,” she greeted, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “What would you like for breakfast?”

  The old man grinned. “Any chance of some more French toast?”

  She laughed. She’d made it last week almost as a joke, trying to prove that there was–believe it or not–more to eat in the morning than just bacon and eggs. To her delight, Walter ate every bite and had asked for it every day since.

  “I’m going to show Alec how to make this for you,” she said. “Lucy, you want some, too?”

  “I’d love some, honey. Thank you.”

  Mornings were her favorite time of day around the farmhouse. Walter was feeling his best, and the two of them would chat over breakfast, mostly about his old seminars and the horses he’d worked with. He spoke highly of Alec, as well, sharing all sorts of humorous anecdotes from his younger years. She had a feeling that most of the stories were embellished, but she didn’t mind, even when he told the same ones over and over again.

  With each passing day, Rebecca felt more like part of their family. Just as she was fantasizing about living happily ever after, though, reality set in. Breakfast would end, laughter would fade, and it was time to prepare Walter for an endless series of doctor’s appointments and physical therapy sessions. If he needed something from town, Rebecca would go while Lucy stayed with him, or vice versa. She also took over all the necessary household tasks–everything from cooking and cleaning to grocery shopping and organizing Alec’s bookkeeping.

  She tried to get down to the barn and help the other wranglers as often as possible, but she understood now why she’d gone days at a time without seeing Alec around the ranch. Each meal, for instance, easily took an hour, since she had to cut Walter’s food into tiny pieces and feed him one bite at a time. Caring for him was a full-time responsibility–and that was with the assistance of a live-in nurse. Lucy did so much already, and she always offered to do more. Like Alec, though, Rebecca felt compelled to handle as much of Walter’s care as she could. Every night she fell into bed physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, and she wasn’t even managing the ranch. She’d had an idea of how hard Alec worked, but after getting a taste of it herself, she couldn’t comprehend how he did all of it, day after day, year after year.

  You’re still too blinded by the beauty of this place to see it for what it really is. It’s a vicious cycle of hard work. It never slows down, and it never stops. I could never be selfish enough to ask you to take on all of this.

  Alec’s words played in her mind as she lay in his bed that night and stared at the pillow where he’d placed the Indian paintbrush. It had taken her until now to realize how right he was. She’d already spent most of her life taking care of other people–first her mother with all of her destructive relationships, then two years of insanity with Sean. She knew that Alec could take care of himself, of course, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that the demands of his daily routine took their toll on him. Eventually they would take a toll on her, as well. He was already used to handling everything on his own, anyway, so as much as she wanted to, she didn’t know where exactly she’d fit into the equation if she stayed. Not for the first time she thought of Julianne, wondering if she felt the same struggle before she’d decided to leave.

  Rebecca sighed and turned onto her back, studying the way the lamplight cast soft shadows on the wooden beams of the ceiling. Alec had said he would never ask her to stay, and she believed him. The agony of being forced to make the decision on her own, though, was almost unbearable.

  *

  The following evening, after a brief visit to the hospital, Rebecca wandered out to the remaining barn. She hadn’t been riding since her birthday, and she missed the horses terribly. She meandered down the aisle, pausing to stroke Pumpkin’s nose and feed her a carrot. Onyx gave a loud snort and kicked at his stall door, also demanding her attention.

  “I know, big guy,” she sighed. “I miss him, too.”

  Star nickered and pushed her head against Rebecca’s chest, nibbling a sugar cube from her hand. The mare had filled out beautifully over the summer; she still had a few more pounds to gain, but now she was the picture of health. Although Rebecca had so many regrets about the way things had happened the night of the fire, there was one thing she was thankful for–Star’s pivotal role as her third bodyguard.

  Tommy appeared at the other end of the aisle. “Hey, Bec. How’d Alec look today?”

  “About the same,” she replied as he made his way towards her. “How are you holding up?”

  “Alright, I guess.” He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. “He just called me, actually. Offered me a permanent position here.”

  Alec had mentioned it to her earlier, but she pretended to be surprised anyway. “That’s wonderful! Are you going to take it?”

  “You bet I am. He’s going to need the help while he’s recovering. And Roger ain’t as young as he used to be.”

  Rebecca nodded as she turned back to Star. “Will you help me with something?”

  Tommy gave a knowing grin. “You wanna get a leg over her?”

  “I think she’s ready. Don’t you?”

  “Yeah, but…don’t you think you should wait for Alec to be here?”

  “I don’t know if he’ll be home in time.”

  “What do you mean, in time?”

  She winced. Alec and Jeff already knew, but she hadn’t admitted to any of her friends what she’d decided to do.

  “Tommy, I’m going back to Boston on Sunday.”

  His eyes widened. “You’re what? But I thought…aren’t you and Alec…?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  Tommy didn’t press her for details, and she was relieved, because she didn’t want to talk about it. “Well, in that case,” he said, pulling Star’s halter off the hook, “it sounds to me like you don’t have a minute to lose.”

  They tacked Star in Pumpkin’s bridle and saddle before leading her into the corral. The mare seemed calm as Tommy held the reins and Rebecca stepped onto the mounting block. She placed her foot in the stirrup and took a deep breath, trying to fathom the fact that she was about to ride her very own horse. Star flicked an ear back when Rebecca swung a leg over her rump, but she stood quietly, as if she was used to being ridden every day.

  Rebecca beamed as she settled in the saddle and leaned over to pat her horse’s neck. “I think she’s going to be fine.”

  “I think she is, too,” Tommy said, releasing the reins and taking a few steps back.

  She nudged the mare forward and circled the perimeter of the corral, once at a walk, twice at a trot, before finally asking her to canter. Star bounded into the gait effortlessly, floating above the ground in perfect rhythm. Rebecca reveled in the moment before she pulled her back to a walk.

  “You’re such a good girl,” she whispered, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around her neck. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

  They untacked Star and returned her to her stall. “She’s come a long way, hasn’t she?” Rebecca said.

  Tommy glanced at her sideways. “So have you, you know.”

  She leaned against the stall door. “Did you always know you wanted to be a wrangler?”

  “Pretty much, yeah. Working a ranch is the only thing I ever wanted to do.”

  “It must be nice to know exactly what you want to do with your life.”

  “You don’t?”

  “I thought I did. But now I’m not so sure.”

  He stepped up next to her and rested his arms on the door. “You know, if anyone’s up to the challenge of all this, it’s you.”

&nbs
p; She grinned, wondering if her friends were unusually perceptive or if she was unusually transparent. “You really think so?”

  “I do. Alec finally met his match when you came along.”

  In spite of herself, she managed to chuckle. “I’ll try to take that as a compliment.”

  Tommy nudged her ribs. “You should. You’re tough as nails, Bec. You wouldn’t have any problem taking on this place if that’s what you really wanted.”

  Rebecca glanced at the ground, pushing a piece of straw around with the toe of her shoe. “Do you think I’m making the wrong decision?”

  “I think that the only person who can answer that is you.”

  *

  Alec was scheduled for release from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. When Rebecca showed up in his room late Friday evening, he looked up in surprise from the hardcover book he was reading.

  “Hi,” he greeted, his entire face lighting up. “What are you doing here?”

  “Couldn’t sleep. I thought you might like some company.”

  “I’d love some,” he responded, giving her a soft, lingering kiss. His color had returned and his eyes were bright, but the bandages and the sling were reminders that he still had a long way to go.

  “How was my father today?”

  “He’s good,” she said as she stretched out beside him. “I made French toast again this morning. I think he’s addicted.”

  Alec chuckled and wrapped his free arm around her. “I could never thank you enough for looking after him while I’m in here. And for giving me the means to take care of him in the first place. You’ve been a godsend to me this summer.”

  She stared past his shoulder at the blank wall, feeling the ever-present stab of guilt. “I’m not a godsend, Alec. I almost got you killed.”

  He pulled back and looked at her sharply. “I would go through that night a thousand times if it meant you were safe. Don’t you ever feel guilty for this.”

  “It’s hard not to, when I’m entirely to blame.”

  “Is that why you’re leaving? Because you think this is your fault?”