Madness or Purpose

by Megan Perry

  I’m hoping she is angered just enough to make her want me to shut up but not murder me. I imagine her in short skirts and smacking her ass. I even think about sticking signs on her back like kick me and I’m a loser. It really doesn’t seem to be doing much. I know nothing about this chick she is strange.

  Time to get creative!

  I close my eyes, which I probably shouldn’t do with her and her unstable pyro at the end of the parking lot, but Dean asked me to help and I owe him so I hope this works. I recall the first moment I saw her. Not here, I saw her at the little grocery store. I was picking up some stuff when she walked through the door. The fluorescent lights made her ink black hair shine and the piercing above her eye drew me to the two blue orbs below. Her porcelain skin barely glowed sapphire and silver. A normal man couldn’t have seen it, but I’m not your usual man and she was definitely a newbie or even I might not notice. I noticed a tall guy with inky hair and lips drawn into a thin tight line. I quickly averted my gaze but not before running my eyes down her body and taking in every feminine curve.

  As soon as I thought about her hips it was as if I was hit with a lead pillow in the brain! “Damn! Woman!

  Take it easy. You don’t have to throw those up like brick walls!” I yell at her. “I catch Dean holding Gavin back by his arms at the end of the parking lot. “I didn’t hurt her chill out dude, she hurt me if anything.” I call down the lot. “Seriously though sugar you know, it’s not personal, just doing my job.” I grin and wink back at her. Zoe scowls at me and shrugs. “How’d I do teach?” “Well, it will work but you got to be a little bit smoother with it.

  Anyone with a telepathic ability in mile would know you put them up. It won’t help you keep your little ability a secret if every time you go out you practically announce that you’re hiding something. You need to work on duration also; I can feel your walls dropping.” I grin as I imagine her in a bikini. Zoe actually leaps at me and punches me in the jaw.

  Crap! She has a short temper and a fast little fist. Of course, when I manage to think straight after her ambush I know her hot headed other half is standing over me. I can actually feel the heat radiating off of him and his eyes burn through my mind as red as molten metal. Dean is right behind him. “Cool it Gavin, she took care of herself, but seriously, you two have got to get it together. Dominic was only helping, and you’ll have to learn to get along with him because he is working for me.” Dean seems a bit panicked to me, but even when he is like this he appears calm and collected to most. I’m his nephew so I tend to see through it all. I really do owe him for this job and a roof over my head. I’ve been sort of wandering, well; some might call it running for a while. I didn’t do anything wrong, well nothing horrible. I used my abilities and let’s just say some powerful and violent people found out. I never did make off with the money, but no one should piss off mob bosses. At least that is what I’m told. Those guys were human, so unless they get a good tracker, I’m probably safe here. LEDGE

  wards off humans. Well, really it just isn’t appealing to them so, they tend to stay away.

  “Kid, you ok?” I finally hear Dean asking me. I was caught in my own thoughts again. “Uh…yeah, I um…was just thinking. Can we go inside? I need a drink. These two are bat-shit crazy!”

  Dean just starts shaking his head as Zoe and Gavin both glare at me. “Oh, goodie the crazy twins are cranky again!” I say standing up and brushing the dust off my jeans. “You deal with them Dean. Do you want me to send everyone home, or tell them to vale?” I keep walking knowing he will either yell at me or push his way in my head. I don’t really keep my guard up around him or newbies; it isn’t as if the crazy twins could really manage enough control to delve into my deep dark secrets! Deep, dark secrets, ha, that’s funny. I don’t have secrets. I’m pretty much an open book. It pisses a lot of people off, but it’s who I am. Guys hate me and the ladies can’t seem to keep their secrets and chaotic thoughts to themselves. Somehow, I think that is going to get my ass kicked a few times in this bar. I never really had a dad, well he wasn’t around and Dean was probably the only male role model I had. I could blame my dysfunction on him, it’s easy enough. He can’t really defend himself. “Tell everyone to vale. They just aren’t ready yet,” Dean finally answers me as my fingers grip the door handle. Even in his head, he seems frustrated.

  As I pull back on the iron handle the intoxicating scent from earlier wafts past me. I turn my head hoping to see something out of place or someone close by that’s the source of the maddening scent. I see nothing. Sighing and shaking my head I walk into the darkness of the bar. LEDGE isn’t lit with bright strobes like the rave or gay bars. Country western doesn’t twang from the speakers and you won’t ever hear a rap or pop song over head. We don’t need much lighting because our eyes are more sensitive. You’re ears will pick up a low stream of rock, metal, and on occasion some alternative. No one comes in here to pick a fight or grind up against each other. LEDGE is a lot like a sanctuary for our kind. Our glowing auras give off enough light in an array of colors, that only a few strategically placed lights are needed. Jaron is tending the bar when I walk in and his copper hue glows steady just like his natural mood. I nod in his direction and signal for a drink. A bottle of Rogue is slid down the bar at me.

  After tending to a few patrons Jaron makes his way to my stool and greets me with a lift of his chin. “Dean ever going to bring those two in,” he asks me. “Yeah, soon I think. He says we need to vale up. I’ve nicknamed them the crazy twins…I mean I know they are “special” and all but they are bat-shit crazy man!” Jaron shakes his head at me. “You know, you could be a bit more sensitive to the situation. I mean, hell man, you don’t even understand what it’s like finding the other half of who you are. It’s amazing and chaotic all at once. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re talking about though, I helped fix the apartment up after Zoe shattered a huge bathroom mirror and Gavin lit part of a room on fire,” Jaron tells me with his hand on my shoulder as he shakes his head grinning. “I’ll find her some day.” I mumble finishing off my beer. Jaron walks off to pass on the word as he slides down another beer. I know she is out there. Hell, I think that is why I’m in this town. I mean I could have gone anywhere, but something drew me here. It’s my turn anyway. I’m 28 for crying out loud haven’t I waited long enough?

  I’m around hot women all the time, but frankly they just aren’t enough.

  Something always seems to be missing. The guys say I need to give them more time, but I’ll know her when I see her. I’ll know the instant our eyes meet.

  “Attention! Hey everybody!

  We’re ready.” Deans voice booms from the doorway snapping me from my sappy inner thoughts. Gavin and Zoe are in tow behind him hand in hand. Gag me now! I should be nicer, I mean that will probably be me someday…I hope. Just to test her I imagine smacking her ass and it earns me a glare from the pair, but her walls seem to be in good standing and she is beginning to maintain them as a second nature if you will. Good for her. Everyone repositions themselves in the direction of the three. Some gasp and others let their mouths fall open. A few even glare. The bar is a mix of fear, anger, excitement, and jealousy. I’m only pissed my second beer is gone and Jaron is not nearby to slide me another. Screw this, I jump behind the bar and serve myself.

  Dean jabbers on about who the two are and how Zoe is going to work here and yada, yada, yada…blah, blah, blah, I’ve heard it all. With my 3rd drink down and boredom threatening to kill all of my brain cells I decide to just leave. Everyone is busy drooling so what does it matter if I’m here or not?

  I slip out the back door to the storeroom. I turn my hat around but as always a bit too late. My eyes have been blinded by the sunlight. In a moment or two they adjust and that damn scent hits me like a brick wall. I spin around in a circle thinking I’ll see the origin and I see nothing. So, I close my eyes and take a deep breath letting the sweet clove and juniper scent assaults my senses. Without thinking I just head in
the direction that it seems strongest. It’s crisp outside and the breeze carries the intoxication straight to my brain. I head out the back of the lot and make my way down the alley at the end I instinctively take a deep breath and close my eyes focusing on it. In my mind it transforms into a green trailing light like a mist with direction. It sounds strange. Seriously, I think I might be losing my mind, but I concentrate on it while making sure I don’t walk out into traffic and get my ass flattened. I turn right and head down the street. I zone out, everything goes on autopilot and my soul’s focus is that damn smell. I feel like my brain is bouncing around in my skull and all my nerve endings are on fire.

  After an hour of walking I actually snap out of it and realize I have no idea where I am! The scent is overwhelming but I can’t find the source it’s like it’s all around me and falling down over me. Scanning my surroundings I realize I’m at least still near businesses. The building in front of me is old just like all the others but the business in front of me has a modern sign and that’s when my heart actually stops. I blink like 10 times and shake my head. The symbol …I know it. It is like a message written in code, put there for me! It’s my mark! Holy shit! I found her! The lights are out, and no matter how loudly I bang on the door no one is there.

  She was here, but it’s too late. How the hell would I introduce myself anyhow?

  I mean what if she is like Zoe and doesn’t know who or what she is? I have enough issues of my own without adding some half crazed and confused hormonal chick to my life. Maybe it’s good she isn’t here. I should go…now before I convince myself to sit on this door step until she comes back. I am so stupid!

  With that I take off running in the opposite direction. I need to talk to someone, to tell someone, but who do I have? I can’t put this on Dean he already has his plate full and no one knows me here. I guess I’ll just do with it as I do everything else I can’t tell anyone…push it away and don’t think about it.

  When I find myself back at the bar I notice the sun is setting and the lot is rather empty compared to before. Gavin’s truck is still out here and Dean’s old fixer up is here as well. A few others I don’t recognize yet are also still back here. I trudge inside and Dean’s eyes lift from his conversation with Jaron as I walk in.

  “Where the hell have you been Dominic? We open in a couple hours and this place looks like hell!” “I needed some air Dean, sorry, I’ll get on it.” I reply, “You owe me for 3 beers…don’t you forget.” Jaron reminds me. I toss more than enough cash on the counter so he gets a tip out of it. I head to the back room to grab a mop and some rags to clean up the tables. When I round the corner back to the floor Dean and Jaron have disappeared and Zoe and Gavin are clearing away old bottles and trash.

  “Uh, yeah, thanks you guys, but you really don’t have to do that,” I say. Zoe smiles a genuine smile back at me. “You, know I owe you for earlier. You may be a pain in my ass, but you’re good at the mind stuff.” “I do what I can,” I reply sort of shocked. I thought she hated me with a passion. I guess it goes to show women just confuse the hell out of me! “Uh yeah, dude, I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not quite used to all this other half stuff yet. Frankly, it frustrates me the lack of control I have at times. You’re ok though right?” Gavin adds. “It’s all good man. I sort of understand.” He gives me a slightly confused look. “I have another half…somewhere, haven’t found her yet. So I get it to some degree.” He nods and they continue helping me clean up. Zoe grabs my phone from one of the tables and quickly puts her and Gavin’s numbers in it. The crazy pair then head out the door for home. “See you around,” they say in chorus. “Peace!” I answer and then they are gone.

  Standing alone in the bar I figure I’ll just clean the actual bar up a bit and make sure everything is stocked before heading upstairs. After trudging up the seemingly endless stair case to the tiny one room apartment Dean is letting me rent, I flop down on my bed/couch. I have a futon from college and even though it is worn out and reinforced by egg crate like foam it works well. I am just too exhausted mentally from teaching the crazy Zoe how to control herself and trailing that intoxicating scent to a dead end. Maybe Zoe did fry some of my brain cells and that is why I think I need or want or whatever that unknown chick. Thinking about my other half I drift off to sleep quickly. I’m dreaming of a day very much like today. I find myself at the bottom of a staircase, you know, the kind on the outside of a building, the metal ones. I can smell her, hell I can even feel her presence. I close my eyes and follow the emerald green trail of light up the stairway. It leads me out onto a roof top covered in small trees and plants.

  I smell incense and hear the muffled beats of some sort of punk alternative mix from someone’s head phones. Then I see her laying on a blanket face to the sky eyes closed and oddly enough dancing to the beat in some weird fashion.

  Abruptly I am pulled from my subconscious because Dean is shaking me awake and yelling my name. “Damn it Dominic, if you are going to work for me you have to show up. Hell, you are living on top of the bar you’d think you could make it on time. He throws an alarm clock on my futon and walks out. I pull my cell out of my pocket and the time reads 10:30pm. I jump up and slam the door behind me as I jog down the steps. I was supposed to relieve Jaron at 9pm. I apologize profusely, but I think Jaron understands. He sees and knows more than he ever lets on. Jaron glimpses the future and his wife Adara knows the past. I finish tending bar around 2am and clean up a bit so I have less to do tomorrow. I never really notice the women. I flirt and smile and let them believe I might just be interested, but no one ever really sees below the surface. No matter how sweet or how hot they are, they are never enough. I make sure the lights are out and so are all the patrons before I drag myself back up the stairs. I had the cook make me a burger so I make sure to snag the bag off the bar before I go. I swear these stairs are longer every time I climb them.

  I flop back down on the couch and quickly scarf down the already cold burger. I wash it down with a beer from the fridge and then lay back down on the couch, but not before opening the window. The heat from the bar tends to make it too warm up here, but it’s nice to know I don’t have to pay Dean for much of a heating bill.

  Sleep over takes me and I’m sure my beer adds as a sleep aide. I am barely conscious when the intoxicating scent drifts in the window. I know I’m not a sleep enough to be dreaming, but it feels as though I am. I can’t see anything clearly. Everything has a haze to it like some fairytale dream. At first I am an observer. From a distance I see her standing by the door of that shop from earlier. She is waving goodbye to someone she turns to return inside, but something catches her attention. Wait she is looking straight at me. I turn and look over my shoulder and no one else is around. She must really be looking at me! She beckons me with one finger to follow her inside. Every fiber of my being screams at me to follow her and that intoxicating smell. So I do. Before I realize it I have entered her shop and she takes my hand in hers.

  At her touch heat surges through my body starting at my finger tips making me fee light headed. She doesn’t speak and neither do I. Through the haze I take in her form. Her hair gently curling down her back and her aura shines around her reflecting off her earrings. When I don’t continue on with her she turns to me. Gently she smiles and winks seductively. Without giving my body permission it is already following her back through the depths of her store. Near the back she pulls back a beaded curtain and exposes a staircase leading up. The staircase is old and metal, but covered in some type of plastic or rubber mixture like you might see on a kid’s playground. After four switchback flights, we pass a landing with a door but she tugs on my hand when I pause. We climb four more switchbacks until we stop in front of a heavy fire door. She reaches up to disconnect the alarm and drops my hand to push it open.

  The crisp air hits my exposed skin and I shiver from head to toe. Without her hand in mine the fire under my skin quickly extinguishes but smolders deep inside of me. I remain in the doorway and
watch her almost glide out onto the roof top. It’s like a whole different place up here. From the doorway it looks like a grove of trees on hill top with a grassy meadow blanketed in star light, not a roof top in New York City. I notice more details than the last time I was here. As she reaches the trees she seems to notice I am not right behind her. Spinning on her bright yellow chucks she gives me a playful frown and sticks out her bottom lip. I have no idea if anything is real, frankly it’s hard to believe it isn’t real, but once again my body makes my decision without consulting me. In an instant I am once again by her side and she slips her delicate hand into mine and re-ignites the fire under my skin. The girl leads me to a blanket on her roof top meadow and motions for me to lie down on my back. I do as she silently instructs and she takes her place next to me. As we look up at the stars, she intertwines her fingers with mine. For the first time in my life I feel whole and at peace. Everything slowly fades to black.

  Gavin and I spend the rest of the weekend laying around the apartment and soaking up just being with each other. We work on controlling our new found abilities and Natasha stops by once or twice to help us work on things. She isn’t herself though. It seems as though someone has turned down her spunky dial. Every time I try to broach the subject she acts as though she has some brilliant idea of something new to test our control with. She won’t even open up to Gavin. She probably wants to, but she knows if he knows I would know. I don’t blame her. We are becoming friends, but I am so new to everything in terms of this “world” I wouldn’t want me involved yet either. Maybe she really just isn’t ready to tell anyone. Once or twice she lets her guard down for a fraction of a second and I can see her mind was plagued with worry, fear, and a bit of excitement. I try to kick her out early each night, because well, she tends to exhaust me. I just don’t run with her kind of energy and her vibrant bubbly type of crazy…well, it’s something I have to get used to. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl like a sister, but we all need a break sometimes.