In the Nick of Time

by Laveen, Tiana

  “You have to be in recovery for yourself, Nick. Doing it for someone else will land you right back here!” she shouted.

  “Are you listening to me, Frieda? Are you really listening, or just hearing, because I swear you’ve missed the damn point.” He propped his elbow onto her desk, looking at her dead on. “You don’t even really listen to the addicts anymore. None of you do in here, because we’ve proven to be manipulators and liars. I get it; believe me, I do. We are all of that and more, but we love, too, Frieda. You should surely know this. And there are things that happen that go beyond anything that is written down or showcased in your education videos, flyers, and bylaws. We aren’t cookie cutter, all alike. So just know, I’m better because I need to be better for myself, first and foremost, but extra incentive sure as hell doesn’t hurt! She doesn’t make me happy; she aids in my happiness. Period. Point blank.” His heart beat in his chest faster and faster as the words rolled off his tongue, resonated inside his soul.

  “I don’t doubt your love for another… I can see it. Everyone can.” She offered a slight smile, filled with a tiny thing called kindness. For a split second, he softened, but then his soul screamed that trouble brewed ahead. The cop in him chased the truth, digging, searching, plowing the situation for inconsistencies… He’d never get too comfortable.

  “When it comes to my recovery, I do not question my loyalty to it. My reclamation is at the forefront of my life. What I use to motivate me, as long as I am the biggest factor, is inconsequential. Because she motives me, it is a positive, not a negative, Frieda. Even if we were to never speak again after today, she’s taught me by example and her kindness is immeasurable. I can go much further than I dreamed possible with her cheering me on.”

  Frieda huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “It’s not just about her; it’s about me, too.” He curled his hand on his chest, ran his fingertips along his shirt. “She can’t be with a drunk.” He shook his head, his convictions running deep. “She can’t be with a loser, a liar, and a con artist. She can’t afford to fail and I can’t afford to not win. She needs a gentleman that will uplift her, be there for her at her lowest point because at her greatest, she found out most motherfuckers aren’t loyal…but guess what? I am… I’m that guy!” He rose from his seat, slicked his sunglasses out of his pocket, and pushed them atop his head.

  “Nick…”

  He paid her no attention, but kept on interrupting. “I know this means I’m kicked out.” He turned his back and waved his hand indolently in the air as he slowly made his trek to the door. “You have no evidence, but you will keep coming and coming and coming for me. I’m at the point where I can continue my treatment elsewhere, and be okay with that. It’s fine. But you won’t stop my relationship with Taryn so all of this paperwork and bullshit, you can keep it.” He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath, prepared for security to escort him back to his room, watch him pack, and be formally discharged from treatment.

  “Actually, Officer Vitale, we are not kicking you out!” He paused and faced her once more, not hiding his confusion from her sight. “No.” She smiled, shaking her head as if she’d been told some wonderful news that she simply couldn’t wait to share. “Everything you said earlier about the problems in this facility are correct. We do have a situation with drugs entering the center. That’s another thing I wanted to discuss with you. Please.” She pointed to the chair he’d occupied. “Have a seat.”

  He kept staring at her, contemplating the words spoken. After a few moments, he strolled back over and flopped back down.

  “This is a set up…” he said in almost a whisper. He needed her to know that he knew what was up before she even formed her first sentence. He could see it in her eyes… The woman wanted to make a deal.

  “Before you make a decision and jump to conclusions, I need you to hear all of the information. The fact remains that we do not have a good handle on this, and actually wanted to borrow your eyes and ears, so to speak. You see, you have an incomparable, pristine record with the police, Nick. Many awards, accolades… I’m impressed. I suppose that made it all the more surprising that you’d be willing come to treatment, share and socialize with some of the clients, as well as employees.” She tilted her head just so, looked away, then back into his eyes. “I’ve heard that you were, well, are, I should say, an exemplary police officer.” She picked up a nearby pen and tapped it against a hardbound book while a sudden bewitching gleam danced in the corners of her eyes.

  “Unfucking-believable…” He shook his head. “You already know that me getting my old job back relies heavily on my sobriety, and how well I do in treatment. I can’t believe this.”

  “I… I don’t understand. I thought you’d be delighted to help us.”

  “Frieda, you can’t be serious! So you want me to be a snitch?” The side of his mouth hitched upward in a half-hearted smirk. No need to draw the shit out; he wanted to cut right to the chase. “An informant… and in exchange, I get to keep carrying on my alleged inappropriate relationship even though there has been no confirmation, admission, or evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, to prove your case, nor has there been a confession of any sort that would render my and Miss. Jones’ relationship to be considered inappropriate. You people really have some damn nerve, you know that?” He shook his head in disbelief, looked all the way around the room before setting his gaze back on her.

  “Look, the residents trust you now, and—”

  “You had this planned all along.” He sat a bit straighter. “You were probably giddy as hell that I was coming. Finally!” He threw up his hands towards the ceiling as he mounted the theatrical horse and rode that bastard into the sunset. “A solution was walking through the door. Someone that could do your job for you and you get all the glory. Wowza!” He laughed mirthlessly. “Well, I’ll be a sonofabitch.” He moved around, real loose and comfy in the chair. “You didn’t want to hire someone because they’d have no motivation to keep the shit quiet, and you know people talk and if it ever got out that you’ve got a real deal candy warehouse inside this damn facility, you’d lose a lot of funding, donations, and state provided programs and allowances. You needed someone who would have more to lose than gain, and look who falls into your lap. Good ol’ officer Nick Vitale!”

  “Nick, you’ve got this all—”

  “You knew all along that you wanted me to do this, that you needed help, but weren’t sure how to approach me. And boy did you believe you’d gotten lucky when you realized you had something you believed you could use as collateral. If I could get close to the people, which I have, that would make it all the easier.” He stabbed a finger in her direction. “I told you a long time ago that I didn’t trust you, damn it!” A mountain of rage soared within him. His inner beast awoke from its slumber and roared like a damn lion. “…And my gut never lies! Eyewitness…” He huffed and chuckled… “Nick, you have to work the program,” he mocked. “Nick, watch your triggers! Nick, read the damn letter. Nick, you need a witness; it is part of your growth! Nick, set up your sponsor in advance. Nick, Nick, Nick! All of it was bullshit! No wonder you didn’t kick me out after I jumped on Oliver! I assaulted that man and wasn’t sorry about it, and you let me stay like all I’d done was call him a jerk!

  “No wonder I got cell phone privileges fairly early on while for most, it took a month or two! I got a room with no roommate, right off the bat! I got facility gym privileges. It all makes sense now! You people are really something else. You put my boss’ calls right through! Tracked me down, knowing I didn’t want to talk to anyone! That really pissed me off, but now I know why. You wanted to make sure I kept talking to him, because you knew he has a big impact on me and my job became the carrot that dangled in my face. You know my job means everything to me. I told you a million times in group and you used it against me. And you, sir.” He got back to his feet and pointed at the man. “Are fucking useless! Head of security my ass!”

  The man
said nothing, but his mouth twitched ever so slightly.

  “Can you please lower your voice, calm down!” she warned.

  Nick leaned across the table, placed both palms on the desk, and leered at Frieda.

  “Frieda, you’re a pawn, baby. I’m not even mad at you… Really, I’m not. You’re just trying to do your job, trying to get this shit straightened out, but the higher ups actually don’t care. I hate to break it to you, but that’s just how it is.”

  He could see the woman struggling to maintain her composure, her even temperament, but she was losing her grip, soon to fall from grace and land in a heap of stinking bureaucratic dog shit.

  “You do however genuinely care about the people here. Your heart is in the right place so I’m going to cut you a break, okay?” He stood straight and snatched the dark sunglasses off the top of his head, hooked them on the front of his light charcoal V-necked t-shirt. “This shit is elementary.” He pointed at the big guy and snapped his finger. “Anybody with one good eye can see what’s going on and I usually speak fast, have to remind myself to slow it down most days, so you better take notes.”

  Her eyes widened and she cocked her head to the side, leaning in, ready to take in his words like a sponge to moisture.

  “You got one fucker you probably didn’t do an extensive criminal background check on that comes in ten minutes early each and every goddamn Friday for one reason, and one reason alone. He is taking orders for the week, collecting selections from the menu, so to speak. You got Mr. Angelus of morning security down in section 3 that is crushing sinus Sudafed pills into a fine powder and mixing it with shit to give a lackluster high for about two dollars a bag and trust me, by noon, he’s run out. Oh, and bath salts just entered your facility last week… Beware of the zombies… about to be some good eatin’ going on in here!” he teased.

  “It should be pretty tasty along with the sweet, little mollies and heroin concoctions crammed in tiny capsules and shoved up several shitholes of the custodian staff. You’ve got two security guards with their hands in the cookie jar, that this jackass right here seems none the wiser to.” He shot his eyes towards the guard and the desire to karate chop the stiff bastard across the face sat at the forefront of his mind. “Every Wednesday, the duo goes to one side of the building, the east wing, away from cameras, and takes a cut of the monies rolling in during family visitation day. No one fucking comes to see me because I insist upon it, so I sit around looking at everyone, watching! And between heartfelt hellos and teary-eyed goodbyes, you’ve got a regular ol’ narcotic flea market going on right below the damn radar.

  “The pat down folks for such occasions are being given between ten and twenty dollars from each and every individual coming in here smuggling a treat or two for their loved ones, and there is an entire stash of uppers and downers in five residential rooms on level H this very second with nothing but pure profit marked on their Alice in Wonderland blue or red pill stuffed asses. It’s drug central in this damn place, the candy store that an addict’s hallucinatory dreams are made of.” He laughed.

  “You want to stop this shit? Fire every person in here that is on the security team!” He head nodded at the suited brute across the way. “Start fresh, do extensive background checks, and get yourselves a no tolerance policy that includes lawful ramifications and fines, not just termination in clear, concise, legally binding terms on paper. Your solution is far easier than the damn problem; this was a no fucking brainer!” He marched towards the door to leave.

  “And you know what’s so funny about this, Frieda?” The woman looked at him as if she were going to cry. It was as if a big blanket had blown off the place, exposing it for what it was, and she’d been sitting atop a bomb, enjoying a lazy picnic above the mess, oblivious that she was about to blow the fuck up. “All I had to do was sit and watch…that’s all.” He grinned. “Nobody told me a goddamn thing. Matter of fact, most of the people in here try to ensure they do nothing in front of me. Figured I’d try to get some sort of kickback for being a rat. They were on to you, and you proved them right by this very reason you called me in here today. They’re addicts, Frieda! We are constantly paranoid! You were one of us at one time; according to some philosophies, you still are.”

  Once an addict, always an addict…

  “… But how quickly you’ve forgotten how the drug enthusiast’s arrested mind works. We’re broken and messed up. That’s not synonymous with absurdity!”

  “Nick, I—”

  “We’re not stupid! I find this whole thing insulting to my intelligence. We work hard to get over on people, to feed our need, our habit, and that takes some level of comprehension and aptitude. We are fucking con artists and most of us have been scheming and scamming for years, especially ourselves. And for the damn record, I figured out this whole set up, this network of drug trades and sales the first few weeks I was here, and I wasn’t even trying! Case closed, sweetheart! Get your shit together, ma’am. Get it right, get it motherfucking tight…”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You’re the type of man my parents warned me about.” Taryn rocked forward ever so slightly, dipped her clear plastic spoon into her cup of warm applesauce, and swirled it around as they sat side by side on the dark timber bench just outside the facility. Swirls of thick cigarette smoke wafted past his nose from a resident standing not too far away, the patient looking lost, glowering into the distance. It was a cool day, but felt damn near spring like compared to the previous weeks of unrelenting, bitter cold. They took advantage of the lucky break in weather, for it was virtually impossible to not wish to be out and about and receive tender, heated kisses from the sun as her rays filtered through bare branches of vast trees. He shifted a little in his seat as the wind once again carried over a wave of the cigarette odor and wrapped him up in hazy familiarity. It was all too memorable; another habit he’d let go of simply due to it being no longer convenient…

  “I’m the type of man your parents warned you about, huh?” He smirked as he tapped the top of the bench to an unheard beat, his arm outstretched behind her, his fingers lightly caressing the back of her graceful neck.

  “Yup.” She simpered just so, never looking away from her sweet snack. She just kept swirling it around and around, making sluggish designs in the fruity mush. The client with the cigarette smashed the thing onto the ground, tossed the butt into the trash, and heartily stomped away as if he’d had a fucked up morning, leaving the two lovers in isolation. “Thank goodness you don’t do what you’re told.” He laughed lightly as he circled her chin with his thumb, immediately swooping in on their newfound alone time, daring to look her in the eye and become hooked on her seductive ways.

  “I’m a rebel without a cause.” She paused, then they burst out laughing at her own witticism.

  “So silly…” He shook his head, turned away and leaned forward while clasping his hands tightly together. They remained quiet for an instant or two, and then three and four more.

  “You know I’m graduating soon…” He glanced over his shoulder at the woman, watched as she lifted the spoon to her luscious lips, and slid the tip in while her throat bobbed as she swallowed the sweet dollop.

  He turned away, looked down at his hands and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

  “It’s in three weeks…”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “I’m missing you already…” He heard her spoon sliding around the cup; the plastic container must’ve been empty by now but she kept on, as if her continuous stirring maneuvers would make more magically materialize.

  It had disappeared…all gone…and it was missed…

  “Don’t.” He shook his head and looked to the far left. In the distance, he could see speckles, light and shadows, cars moving back and forth along the busy road. He imagined the people within them to be on their way to work, their coffee containers in the counsel area of their vehicles and the heat on low, or possibly not at all. Maybe they played music, or spoke on their phones, or simpl
y thought and reflected, taking their freedoms for granted, grumbling about having to be up so damn early, complaining about a career they detested. This was the human experience, the existence of one’s very soul trapped in the confines of the flesh. He’d never thought he’d mourn the city noise and bumper-to-bumper traffic. He now relished it, for the sounds of people and their ‘toys’ meant that they were alive…and life was to be respected, coveted, and appreciated. He took a deep breath and cast her a glance, matched with a small smile, the best he could muster.

  “Let’s just make the most of this time together.”

  “Yeah, yeah… I agree, Nick, but I’m still going to miss you.” He turned away from the living doll and peered upwards towards the sun.

  “I think you already know how I feel about this,” he murmured then looked over his shoulder at her once more. “Look,” He swallowed and turned back away, leaned forward, elbows on thighs, and watched two black birds flying about in the sky. “You came here to get better, and that’s what you’ve done. It’s time to go do your thing, be free.” He sniffed, feeling the beginning stages of a cold coming on…or maybe it was those troublesome emotions trying to come take him down again…

  “Free? Ha!” She guffawed. He looked back over his shoulder at her, watching the drama unroll. “Man, if you think you’re going to be free of me, you’re crazy. You’re mine.” Her eyes narrowed on him, sent a sweet, seductive chill down his spine. It never felt so good to be bossed around…

  She’s a possessive little thing…

  “I’m yours, huh?” He grinned a bit wider now, but tried to keep that shit to a minimum.

  “Yes…you’re mine. So, while I’m out in the free world fighting modeling crime, you’ll be in here dropping a dime.” She burst out laughing again, poking fun at his rendition of the fucked up situation Frieda attempted to ensnarl him in.