by Holk, VM
"Why don't we go down to the cafeteria, okay?" Anne asks me.
I nod, "That's fine."
We walk silently down to the cafeteria. I knew when we stepped off the elevator we were in the right place. The smell hit me and my stomach grumbled.
We all walk off to look over the selections. I never realized that hospitals had such big cafeteria's, with so many options. Plus this food looked good, the place was split into different sections. One station was sandwiches, another was pizza, they had a salad bar and the other section had a variety of hot food. In the center of all this was the drink station, it was oval with fountain pop on one side, then coffee, ice tea and hot tea. It even had a machine for hot chocolate and specialty cappuccino’s. They also had a refrigerator case with bottled water, milk and juices. Then they had a huge dessert section, with all sorts of desserts to choose from.
I finally decided on the pizza, large coke and a slice of cherry pie. I get in line behind Anne and Wyatt. Once we have paid for our food, we walk into the large seating area. The place is packed, between doctors, nurses', other staff and visitors.
As we eat, we all talk. It's nice to catch up with Anne and get to know Wyatt. I can see why she likes him, he really is a good guy. I look up from my pie to see Anne looking behind me, intently on something.
"What?" I ask.
"Is that Izzy?" she points behind me.
I turn slowly and I find her immediately. I hear Wyatt ask, "Who is Izzy?" I don't bother saying anything, I can hear Anne telling him something. She looks beautiful, laughing and smiling with her friends. Just then, she looks right at me. Her smile turns to a frown and she looks away.
Now what was that about? I turn back around, "Yeah that's her. I ran into her yesterday. She works here."
"I still don't understand why you guys broke up. She was always a sweet girl."
"Yeah, well I guess some things aren't meant to be. So, how are my beautiful nieces?"
Anne chuckles, "Well I guess someone doesn't want to talk about Izzy. They are great," she smiles back at me. "You have to spend some time with them while you are here."
"Absolutely."
Once we are finished with our food, we all get up to go. I try to get a glance at Izzy, but she is no longer there. I have an empty feeling, knowing that she is longer in the same room as me. I walk silently to the elevator, listening to Anne and Wyatt talk.
We all step into the elevator and I watch Anne, get close to Wyatt. I stand on the other side and get a good look at him. He is really different than Kyle. He has longer hair, with that day old beard and hands that never come clean. He reminds me of our dad, maybe that's what she needs.
Anne was and is a daddy's girl. She moved in with our dad and that's where she belonged. So it's no wonder she ends up with a guy like him. I only wonder if I will ever have that kind of happiness. I mentally slap myself, because I did once. I know I was young, and most people say you can't know at eighteen. I knew and I regret how things turned out. But going to prison wouldn't have done any of us any good. So I have to live with how things turned out.
We get off the elevator and walk towards dad's room. Anne comes up to me, puts her arm around my shoulder.
"Hey are you okay?"
"Yeah, a lot on my mind that's all."
"Alright. You've been really quiet since you've been here. I worry about my little brother."
"Really it's nothing. I'm worried about dad, and being home always brings up a lot of memories."
"Anything to do with Izzy?" She asks smiling at me. I look at her and she winks at me.
I chuckle, "Yeah some of it."
We walk into dad's room and I'm saved from anymore talking. Dad is actually up and looking better.
"You look better dad," I say.
"Thanks. The nap and food helped."
"So it looks like we are going to be able to get you home to Lucy, soon." Anne says.
"I miss my girl, can't wait to get out of this place."
"And don't worry about work. We got you covered, boss," Wyatt says.
"I appreciate everything you have done," dad replies.
"Well enough of all that," Anne says with a smile. We could all tell that dad was getting choked up. "If you don't mind Wyatt is going to take me home. The girls want to come see their new rooms."
"Of course, honey. You give those girls a big kiss and hug, from grandpa."
I watch as Anne and Wyatt say their goodbye's to dad. Anne walks up to me, hugs and kisses me on the cheek. "See ya later, sis."
"Bye. Let's try and have dinner at my new place, so you can see the girls."
I nod to her as she leaves, "Nice to meet you again, Wyatt." I extend my hand and we shake.
I had such a rough night after seeing Jack. I was feeling better with the past, it took me a long time. But I finally came to terms on how things turned out.
So I'm at lunch enjoying myself with my friends, and turn. Are you kidding me? I can't talk to him again and pretend that everything is okay. Is that his sister? Oh god, it is.
Once he turns back around, I clean up my lunch.
"Hey I have to head back up. I'll see you guys later."
"You've been down here for only fifteen minutes," Lori says.
"I know, but I have a patient I need to check."
She nods, excepting my explanation, "Hey are you off tomorrow?" Lori asks.
"Yeah."
"I'm picking you up at eight. No arguments, we both need it."
I nod and head out of the cafeteria as fast as I can. It's probably a good idea for me to get out of the house for a bit. Maybe forget about Jack for tonight.
Once I get back to my floor, I throw myself back into my patient's. The thing with working on the ICU floor, most of the patient's don't talk. So it leaves me to my thoughts. And I can't keep my thoughts off of Jack.
He still is incredibly handsome, I always loved his piercing blue eyes. But now he has grown into his features more, and he is gorgeous. His dark hair, strong jaw and those eyes. And god how remarkable he smelled, like the woods.
I shake myself, I can't go down this path again. He left me when I needed him the most and never looked back. It took me a long time to get over him, and I can't do it again.
I lose myself in work, and am thankful when my shift is over. I feel so tired, I really don't know how I'm going to go out tonight. The drive home is a quick one, it's nice to live so close to the hospital.
I pull into the driveway of my two story family home, with an attached garage. I push the button to the garage opener and park my car. The other space is empty, which means I'm home alone.
I walk into the kitchen, dropping my purse and keys on the kitchen counter. I love the layout of the house, it has a family room right off of the kitchen. The family room has a sliding door that leads to the patio in the backyard. The brick covers the whole wall, with the fireplace. On the other side of the kitchen is the dining room and just of that the front room.
I walk down the one hall that has a half bath, which leads to a hall closet and the front door. Just to the left of the door is the staircase that leads upstairs. It has four bedrooms and a full bath. I walk into my bedroom and strip off my clothes. I walk across the hall and into the bathroom to take a shower.
Once the hot water hits me, I can feel my muscles relax. I can actually feel my worries, go down the drain. The longer I'm in there, the better I'm feeling. My spirits are lifting and I'm looking forward to going out with Lori.
I finish up in the shower and get myself dressed. I put on my favorite pair of jeans that make my ass look good. I go through my tops and find a nice black top, that show off my boobs. I go back into the bathroom and blow dry and style my hair. It's nice to do my hair for once, I always pull it into a ponytail for work. I put my makeup on and look at myself in the mirror.
"Not too shabby, Izzy."
I look at the clock and see that Lori will be here in about ten minutes to pick me up. I turn off the lights and head
down stairs. I leave a note on the counter that I'm going out and won't be home until late. Just as I finish, I hear a car horn in front of the house. I head to the front door, and make sure to lock it behind me.
I hop in her car and buckle my seat belt.
"Man I need a drink tonight. Thanks for telling me to go out."
"I could tell you needed," she smiled at me.
We decide to go to Emil's, or as all the locals call it "The Buffalo Bar". When they first opened this place, there were always buffalo in the back. When I was a kid, I would beg my dad to take me there so I could feed them. They sold the place a few years back and the new owners fixed up the bar really nice. But they never put any buffalo in the back. I miss seeing them there, they always reminded me of happy memories.
Chapter 5
I find a table, while Lori gets us some drinks from the bar. It's Monday night, so the bar isn't that packed. Lori makes her way to me and sets down my pineapple and Malibu.
"Thanks."
"No problem," Lori replies as she sets down her beer.
I look around to see if there is anyone we know. I don't see anyone, and wish we would've invited more people.
"So what's going on with you lately?" Lori asks.
"What do you mean?"
She looks at me, and smirks. We became best friends about three years ago. I meet her when I got my job at the hospital, we clicked right away. I lost track of my friends from high school, even though we live in a small town.
Once my parents knew I was pregnant, they sent me to my grandparents. That way people didn't know I was pregnant. I hated leaving Michigan to go to Florida, but I didn't have a choice. My dad didn't want people to talk badly about me or the family.
My father was a very well-known lawyer and had very rich clients. Which in turn made my father a lot of money. I grew up without a worry, with parents who belonged to the country club. They never liked the fact that I dated the local mechanics son, back then.
My dad had plans for me, which he never filled me in on those plans. I knew he wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but other than that, I didn't know. He wanted to start a practice with me and he wanted me to marry a lawyer, as well. A family practice, he thought clients would want that and we would make a killing.
But I became the "disappointment" as he always liked to remind me. My mother was a different story, she loved that I became a nurse. I sometimes wonder, now that I'm older, how my parents ended up together. My mother was such a warm loving person, where my father was your typical lawyer.
Not that my dad didn't love me, but he had that lawyer stiffness. When I was little, he was different. He would come to my soccer games and take me to the Richmond Cafe for breakfast, every Saturday. That was our time together, and we would tell mom she couldn't come. I remember she would fake being so hurt, but she would turn and laugh. I think she enjoyed the little bit of time to herself.
Everything changed when I was about eleven years old. My dad won a huge case, and was promoted at his firm. That's when he started getting higher profile clients and never had time for me. Oh it was subtle at first, but I felt the change right away. My mom tried to make up for it, she started taking me on Saturday morning. It wasn't the same, and I missed my dad.
"Hello?" Lori waves her hand in front of my face.
"Hmmm, what?"
"Honey, you completely zoned out on me. Where were you?"
"Sorry, was thinking about my dad."
"Well stop it, your bringing yourself down, now me."
We laugh together and I take a long sip from my drink.
Damn, I hate thinking this much of the past. I look up when a waitress approaches us and wants to know if we want anything else.
Lori shakes her head, she is driving us home, so she is done. I appreciate that she is willing to do that so I can have a few.
"Yes, another pineapple and Malibu."
"Sure, darling."
I watch the waitress go back to the bar, and that's when our eyes meet.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!"
"What?" Lori asks.
I turn away quickly and look over to Lori. "It's Jack."
"The Jack?"
"Yeah. I ran into him at the hospital and I swear we keep seeing each other."
"Okay. What's the big deal, just ignore him."
"That's easier said than done," I sigh.
I decided I needed to go out for a drink tonight. I haven't kept in touch with my friends in Michigan, so I don't have anyone to call. I thought about asking Anne, but then I didn't know if that would be weird.
So I pull up to Emil's, the buffalo bar, as we always called it. I haven't ever been inside, leaving before I was old enough to actually drink. But I remember going there and feeding the buffalo when I was young.
Being a Monday night, there aren't very many cars in the parking lot. I only want a few drinks and dinner. I've been eating sandwiches, it's the only thing dad really has, without me going through the freezer.
I can tell from the outside that the place has been fixed up. I had heard they had new owners, I hope that the food is good. I walk through the door, and my eyes have to adjust slightly to the low light. I look around to see where I want to sit, when my eyes look onto hers.
"Sweet Jesus," I whisper to myself.
Why do I have to keep seeing Izzy, everywhere I go? I see the shock in her eyes, and then she looks away. I watch her as she talks to the woman with her. Maybe this is my chance to talk to her. I really need to know about my daughter and I want to be a part of her life. Now that I've seen her, I don't think I can go back to... Well to whatever I was doing before. Even if it's only a small part of her life.
I decide to get a shot, before I walk over to Izzy. As soon as the bartender sets it down, I slam it. I shake myself, in hopes of readying myself to talk to her. I push off the bar and look over to her table. I take a deep breath and head her way.
Someone grabs my shoulder, and I turn to see who it is. As I see the guy in front of me, I scan my memory to put a name to it.
"As I live and breathe, Jack Bauman."
Just then, I realize who it is. "Holy shit, if it isn't Kevin Newman."
"Well how the hell are you? I haven't seen you since we graduated, man." He slaps me on the back.
We use to be best friends, all growing up. I didn't recognize him, he was always a bean pole. Someone has obviously been going to the gym. I realize he is right, we haven't seen each other since graduation. How could I let a long friendship like ours end? I never even said good-bye when I left for college.
"I'm okay. How about you?"
"Doing well. Can I buy you a drink and we can catch up?"
"Yeah, sounds good."
"Okay, give me a minute to tell the guys I came with."
"Let me hit the bathroom," I reply.
Well so much for the talk with Izzy, I need to try to talk to her before I leave. But it would be nice to catch up with Kevin. I really have shut myself off from my world back here.
I see the sign showing where the restrooms are. I head down the hallway to the door that is marked men's. Just as I pass the women's, the door opens and Izzy walks right into me. I catch her by her shoulders, to steady her.
"Well, hello."
"Sorry, hi."
She looks up at me and starts to leave. Okay that is weird. If anyone should be upset with someone, it should be me.
"Hey, can we talk?"
"Talk about what?" She puts her hands on her hips, ready for a confrontation.
I sigh, "I think you know what."
"We have nothing to talk about, Jack."
I grab her by her shoulders and look deep into her eyes. God, I wanted to kiss her so bad. But she is no longer mine to do that. I need to get a hold of myself.
I brush my knuckles across her cheek. She sucks in her breath, and only stares up at me.
"Please meet with me so we can talk," I whisper.
As if shaken from her tranc
e, she walks out of my grasp. "Please leave me alone."
"I can't. You can call me at my dad's. Please," I plead with her.
I had finally talked Lisa into going somewhere else. I had to use the ladies room first and then we were going to Chap's. As I walk out of the bathroom, I run right into Jack. And I mean literally, run right into him.
You have got to be kidding, I was trying to get out of here so I didn't have to talk to him. I saw him talking to Kevin and saw my chance. Kevin and Jack were best friends growing up, I'm sure they were meeting each other here. I don't want to think of old times.
I apologize, and hope to get away quickly. But when he asks to talk to me, I'm horrified. I feel we are way past any kind of talking anymore. But when he says please in such a pleading way, I don't know if I can say no.
"I don't know. Maybe." I whisper.
"I guess that's all I can ask. Please consider it."
I nod, look up into his eyes, then turn and walk away.
I sit across from Kevin, at a table near the bar.
"Hey was that Izzy, I saw you talking to?"
"Yeah."
"Whatever happened to you guys? I always thought you two would get married."
I was saved from answering that by the waitress. I ordered my dinner and a stiff drink.
Chapter 6
What a night, it was great to see Kevin and catch up. But I couldn't keep Izzy off of my mind. I walk in the door to a very excited Lucy. She jumps on me and gives me a proper hello.
"Well, hello. I didn't leave you that long."
I walk to the sliding door in the family room, to let her out. She doesn't like to be left at home for a long time. I know my dad use to take her to work with him sometimes, I'm sure he still does that. Either way, I know they are both missing each other. I'm a poor substitute for dad, when it comes to Lucy.
Once Lucy is back in the house, I feel drained. Hoping to get a better night sleep tonight, I head to bed.
"I have the whole day planned, man."
I'm on the phone with Kevin. He had been begging me to set up a double date with Izzy's friend Jennifer. I finally got Izzy to talk her friend into it. I didn't know Jennifer real well, she was new to our school. Izzy and she hit it off right away. Kevin saw them talking in the hall one day and that's when he started asking.
