Heal Me, Daddy

by Roberts, Laylah

  But this wasn’t a scene. This was a baby girl who needed comfort. She needed to feel safe and secure and that’s what Isaac was giving her.

  She removed her thumb. “Thank you, Archie.”

  “You’re welcome, poppet.” He didn’t know where that nickname came from. Instead of examining his need to pull her onto his lap, he pressed the blanket around her. “How about I make hot chocolate? I saw some in the pantry earlier.”

  “I think hot chocolate is just what Doc ordered,” Isaac said with a grin. “See what I did there?”

  Archer groaned. But Caley just buried into his chest. She hugged her toy tight, sucking on her thumb.

  “Is it good for her to be sucking her thumb?” he asked worriedly.

  Isaac shrugged. “Likely not in the long-run but it’s all right for now. Baby doll, do you have a sippy cup for the hot chocolate?”

  He didn’t think she would answer, her face was pressed firmly against Isaac’s neck. She didn’t seem to have any problem with touching his brother.

  “Caley?” Isaac made his voice firmer.

  She nodded. “Above the fridge in a box.”

  Archer gave Isaac a nod. He grabbed the Swiss Miss he’d seen earlier and decided he might as well make them all drinks. Another clap of thunder had Caley crying out and he turned to check on her, even though he knew Isaac had her.

  Poor love. He wondered if something had happened to make her so fearful of thunder? Or was it just that she didn’t like loud noises?

  He reached up above the fridge and found a box sitting on top. It was dusty, as though it hadn’t been pulled out in a long time. Opening it up, he stared down at the contents.

  There was a large, white sippy cup with a soft, yellow lid and a handle on one side and a bumblebee on the front. There was also a baby’s bottle with an extra-large nipple in the box.

  Underneath the bottle was a bib. He pulled it out to study it. More bumblebees on the front. It was soft and tied at the back. It was also oversized, perfect for an adult baby girl. Under the bib was a child’s plate. It had separate compartments so different foods didn’t touch one another. There was also cutlery with more bumble bees on them.

  Seemed to be a theme going on.

  He put everything away except the sippy cup, but he left the box on the table to show Isaac later. Then he poured out the hot chocolate, making certain to add plenty of cream to hers. He set the mugs down on the coffee table before handing over the sippy cup.

  “Hope it’s not too hot.”

  Isaac took it, sipping from it first. “It’s perfect, thanks, man.”

  More wind slammed against the house. He winced. Damn, it was really going for it out there. Far worse than the storm when they’d arrived. The wind hadn’t been nearly this fierce. How many more trees were they going to find down tomorrow?

  Shit. He was going to have to reschedule his patients because he had a feeling he wasn’t getting home by Tuesday. Seemed his four-day weekend had become much longer.

  Isaac helped Caley take a few sips of hot chocolate. It seemed she was calming down. Her trembling had eased, and she was no longer making those little whimpering noises.

  Thank God.

  How was she going to react tomorrow when she realized they’d seen her when she was so vulnerable?

  Upset. Maybe angry.

  Another crash of thunder and the lights flickered out. Caley let out another loud cry.

  “Shh, baby doll. You’re okay. I have you.”

  “Shit. Power’s gone out entirely,” Archer said. He reached for his phone which had been sitting on the coffee table.

  “I found some flashlights earlier, only one had batteries,” Isaac told him calmly. “I left it by the door, can you grab it?”

  Archer stood and using his phone, he found the flashlight, turning it on. Isaac had grumbled earlier about her lack of preparedness. He added batteries to the ever-growing list of things she needed.

  “Baby doll, do you have a generator?” Isaac asked.

  “Y-yes, it’s in the shed. It h-hasn’t come on.”

  “Should I go check it?” Archer asked.

  “No!” she cried out.

  He blinked at her in surprise.

  “You can’t go out there. Don’t!”

  Isaac shifted her around on his lap. “She’s right, man. You can’t go out there.”

  “We’re going to go without power instead?”

  “Nah, I’ll go look at it. I have some experience with generators, at least. You won’t know what you’re looking at. You come sit with her.”

  “No! No!” she cried out again, clinging to Isaac. “You both have to stay here.”

  More thunder. She wrapped herself around Isaac, who gave Archer a surprised look.

  “Caley, I’m just going to check the generator and see if I can get it going. We only have one flashlight between three of us, plus the lights on our phones which will soon go dead. If I can get the generator going, at least we’ll have power.”

  “No! It’s not safe. Don’t go!”

  “I’ll be fine, baby doll. Come on, let Archer hold you for a bit.”

  “No! No!”

  “Caley, calm down.” Isaac put a firm note in his voice.

  Archer frowned. Caley wasn’t the hysterical type. Yet she seemed terrified of Isaac leaving her.

  “I should go,” Archer said.

  “No one should go! Stay here where it’s safe.”

  “Shit. She’s getting herself all worked up.” Isaac stood with her wrapped around him. “Caley, listen to me. I’ll be fine. I’ll be back soon. Sit with Archer.”

  “Isaac,” he said again, but the other man just drew himself out of Caley’s hold. She let go, standing there, her arms wrapped around herself.

  “Sorry, I’ll have to take the flashlight.”

  Archer handed it over then turned back to Caley, who was shaking and wide-eyed. But her gaze wasn’t on him or Isaac, she was staring at the wall, lost in her thoughts.

  He kept the flashlight on his phone on so he could see her.

  “Caley, love, come back and sit down,” he said in a low, soothing voice as Isaac pulled on his jacket and boots and left.

  At the bang of the door shutting, she let out another cry and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He reached out and placed his hand on her arm. When she didn’t turn away from him, he drew her close. She buried her face in his chest and he ran his hand up and down her back.

  Knowing he was playing with fire; he kissed the top of her head. Fuck. She smelled good. And she felt perfect in his arms.

  He had to stop this. Get some space from her. However, right now, she was a woman in need of care. And he wasn’t going to turn her away simply because he was reacting to her in a way that he shouldn’t. So he held her as the rain pelted down on the roof and the wind punched through the trees.

  Thunder boomed, making the cabin rock. And she screamed. “Daddy!”

  Shit.

  She fought out of his hold and caught by surprise, he let her go. She raced towards the door. “Daddy!”

  Fuck! He ran after her, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her up into the air.

  “No! No! Daddy! He’s hurt!”

  “Caley! Caley! Stop!”

  She clawed at his arms and he winced, knowing she’d likely drawn blood. Shit. He carried her back to the sofa and sat with her on his lap. She continued to fight his hold, fierce and vicious as a hellcat.

  He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. “Caley, calm down.”

  “Let me go! I have to help him!”

  “Caley, I don’t know where you’ve gone right now, but your Daddy isn’t out there. He’s…” Fuck, not like he could blurt out that he was dead. “Issy left to check the generator.”

  “He’ll get hurt,” she cried.

  “Issy? He’ll be fine, poppet.”

  “No, no, no, you have to let me help him. I left him last time. I didn’t help him.” She started to sob. Big sobs
that wracked her body, making her shake.

  Christ. She was killing him. He couldn’t stand it. He tucked her in against him, rocking her and crooning in a soft voice.

  “Poppet, Issy isn’t hurt. Nobody is hurt.”

  “He is. He is.”

  “He isn’t. I promise you. And if he is, I’ll help him. I’m here. You’re not on your own.”

  “You have to let me go out there.”

  “I let you go out there and Issy will have my head.” Last thing he needed was to return to work with a black eye. That would be an interesting conversation starter to have with his patients.

  “But he’s hurt.”

  “Caley, love, he’s not hurt. I promise you. He’ll be back any second.”

  “I have to help. I have to help. I can’t lose him again. I can’t.”

  Again? Did this have something to do with her Dom’s death?

  He didn’t know and now wasn’t the time for questions. He got the feeling she wouldn’t come down until she saw Isaac herself.

  “Baby, hush, you’ll make yourself ill. Where’s your stuffy?” Maybe that would help. The lights flickered on. Thank God, Isaac must have gotten the generator on. He saw her bumblebee lying on the ground. He reached for it, making the mistake of loosening his hold on her. She pushed off his lap and raced for the door. Right as it opened, and Isaac stepped in.

  She flung herself at him with a cry.

  Doc stared down at the woman shaking and crying in his arms with shock.

  “Caley, damn it, I’m all wet.”

  He glanced up to find his brother watching her worriedly, her bumblebee held in his hand.

  “Caley, calm down, baby. What is it?”

  “She’s been like this since you left,” Archer explained coming towards him. “She kept saying that you were going to get hurt. But she seemed to confuse you with her husband.”

  He frowned. What was going on? “Caley, I need to get my jacket off. I’m dripping water everywhere.” Not to mention getting her all wet as well.

  “Caley, here, wrap up before you get a chill.” Archer wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, and she stepped back, looking up at his brother in confusion.

  “Archer?”

  “Yeah, love, come with me back in front of the fire. You’re going to get a chill. Come on, now. That’s a good girl.” His brother spoke in a low, cajoling voice. One he’d never heard him use before. Doc shrugged off his jacket and boots. Then pulled down his saturated jeans.

  “I’m going to find a change of pants. Does she need new clothes?”

  “Think I spied some pajamas in her bedroom under the pillow,” Archer told him. He already had her sitting on the sofa with her sippy cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

  Doc moved quickly. He pulled on some sweatpants and grabbed her pajamas from her room. He winced at the mess inside. He’d deal with that later.

  When he returned, Archer was talking softly to Caley, who appeared to be in some sort of daze. His brother reached out and brushed some hair out of her face.

  “Jesus, man, what happened to your arm?” Isaac asked as he grew closer. There were red scratches down both of his forearms.

  “Nothing,” Archer said quickly, shooting him a warning look.

  What the fuck? Then he looked down into Caley’s pale, shocked face.

  “I did that?” she whispered. “Oh Archer, I’m so sorry.”

  His brother’s quick reflexes saved the hot chocolate from tipping out of her hand. He set it on the coffee table.

  “What’s wrong with me? Why did I do that?”

  She pressed her hands against her face. He was alarmed by the way she shook. These trembles were far more violent than the other ones.

  “Caley, Caley, it’s okay,” Archer told her, gently pulling her hands from her face. “It’s obvious that storms frighten you. You weren’t yourself when you did this. You were desperate to get to Isaac.”

  “She wanted to go out in that to find me?” he asked, shocked. He’d thought she’d done it because she’d been afraid of the storm.

  “Yeah. She fought me when I wouldn’t let her go out in that.”

  Isaac sat beside her. “Caley, I’m fine. Nothing was going to happen to me.”

  “You don’t know that. Anything could have happened, and I would have just been sitting here, doing nothing.” The last word was said on a loud cry.

  “Caley, how did your husband die?” Archer asked.

  Fuck. He was an idiot. Of course there was more to this. He tensed as he waited for her answer. Tears dripped down her pale cheeks. She swiped at them.

  “There was a storm. Worse than this one. I’ve never liked thunder. Was always scared of it as a child. I’d always race to find my mom but if it was at night and my dad was home, he’d send me away. Tell me to stop being a coward.”

  “Ahh, baby,” he crooned to her, drawing her under his arm.

  She wiped at her cheeks again and Archer stood, moving into the bedroom he’d been using. When he returned, he held a handkerchief in his hand.

  It surprised him, when instead of handing it to her, Archer wiped her cheeks and nose himself.

  Archer was acting like a Daddy, which surprised him. Archer moved back onto the coffee table. Doc stared down at Caley worriedly. There was an empty spot inside him, and he hadn’t realized until now what a gaping hole it was. Caley could fill that hole. She could be everything he desired.

  If he could convince her of that.

  Funny, he’d always been against taking on another sub. But maybe he just hadn’t found the right one.

  “There was a storm, worse than this one. Dave went into town for supplies. The storm hit far sooner than either of us expected. I was writing. I often lose track of time when I’m writing. But before he left, he’d made certain that my cell phone was sitting beside me, charged and turned on. After a few hours, I realized that the storm was getting worse. And that he wasn’t home.

  “He wouldn’t have left if he’d known the storm was so close. He knew I didn’t like them. I tried to call him. But there was no answer. I figured it was just the storm. I kept calling. But there was no reply.” She ran her hand over her face. “I didn’t know what to do. The storm was getting worse. I finally called the sheriff. He said he’d send someone as soon as he could. But they were all busy. And he’d only been missing a few hours.”

  He rubbed her back as she shuddered.

  “I couldn’t wait any longer. He’d taken my SUV. So I got in the truck and went looking for him.”

  “Christ, baby,” he muttered.

  “I knew I’d be in trouble for leaving the house during a storm. But I just knew something was wrong. I had to find him. But I never expected to find him…” she trailed off with a sob.

  He drew her close, kissing the top of her head.

  “He must have run off the road. His SUV was upside down. I…I managed to get hold of the sheriff. I don’t remember much. I tried to pull him out, but I couldn’t. When someone from the sheriff’s department arrived, they had to drag me away from him. I was taken to the hospital. Apparently, I was hysterical, and they had to sedate me…they tried to tell me that he died straight away. That there was nothing I could have done even if I had gone looking for him. But I don’t believe them…I sat there while he was dying…I…I…”

  “Oh, love. No, you didn’t know. You couldn’t have known,” Archer told her.

  “Baby girl, he wouldn’t want you thinking like this. It wasn’t your fault. You aren’t to blame.”

  She sobbed against him, wetting his shirt and he just held her, letting her cry it out.

  “What if he was in pain? What if he was waiting for me to help him?”

  “Caley. Caley, look at me,” Archer told her firmly. He reached out and grasped hold of her chin, raising her face. “Focus on me now. Can you feel my hand on your skin?”

  She nodded her head.

  “Good girl. Concentrate on your breathing. In. Out. Can you feel Issy
has a tight hold on you? Feel how strong he is? How he isn’t going to let you go?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s right. He’s here. I’m here. Just breathe deep. Hold. Let it out slowly. That’s it, love. Relax. We’re here.”

  “I should have gone with him, Archer.”

  “If you had then you might have died as well.”

  Doc flinched. Jesus. Way to just lay it out there, bro.

  Archer just sent him a look. Then he turned his calm gaze back to Caley. “Do you think that’s what Dave would have wanted?”

  “N-no.”

  “I didn’t know Dave but it’s obvious how much you loved him.” Archer lowered his hand to hers.

  “I did. I do. He was the best Dom, the best D-daddy.”

  “Then I do know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. You feel guilty for surviving when he’s gone. Those feelings are valid. The what ifs get to us all. But, love, you let it, and the guilt will eat you alive. And I bet that’s not what Dave would have wanted for you. He wouldn’t have wanted you to spend your life thinking about what you could have done differently. Would he?”

  “I guess not.”

  “If he was here right now, what do you think he would say?” Archer asked.

  “Dude, get your hand off my wife,” she said in a gruff voice.

  Doc had to grin at that. Would he ever measure up to Dave? Lord knew, he wasn’t perfect. He had his shortcomings. More than a few, really. Could he really compete with a dead man? One who Caley still mourned.

  “Dave’s death was a terrible thing,” Archer continued. “It’s all right to miss him. To feel sad. But it’s not okay to spend your time obsessing over what ifs. To not live the rest of your life because you’re punishing yourself for being alive when he isn’t.”

  She shuddered. “It’s just so hard to let go. I don’t want to say goodbye.”

  “Goodbye doesn’t mean you have to forget him, love. But you should spend more time thinking about good memories rather than focusing on the bad ones.”

  She nodded slowly. “I know. I know he wouldn’t want me to keep reliving it over and over. And I was doing better, but tonight…I just lost it. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s all right. No harm done.” Archer smiled at her reassuringly.