“I know. Which is why I need to make it better.” He blinked his eyes, as if he had tears of his own forming. “I…I’m going to check on your mom.” He hesitated, but before walking away from me, he had one final thing to say. “Sometimes love pushes us too far for the right reasons. Everything I’ve done has been for my family, Olivia. That’s always been the most important thing to me. Just know that.”
*****
The morning of the wedding was a whirlwind. Hair, makeup, tweaking flower centerpieces until everything looked just right – it was exhausting. Fortunately we had about an hour before the ceremony when Sophia, Lexi and I got to be alone, tucked upstairs in my old bedroom so Lance wouldn’t see her before the ceremony.
“Can you guys believe this is finally happening?” Sophia’s eyes were lit up as she stared back at her reflection in my old vanity mirror.
“I know, what happened to our grand plan? I thought we were all going to marry hot surfers from California at the same time. Lexi even wrote about it in her ninth grade journal,” I teased. “Weren’t we all going to live in a huge flat together in L.A.? Our dreams sure took a turn.” We all giggled.
“We can still have that dream,” Lexi shot back. “You and me, Livi. Hot surfers.”
“I thought you guys were going to marry the Property Brothers or some other reality show guys,” Sophia replied with a laugh. “Wasn’t that the more grown-up version of the plan? To find guys who could actually build you your dream houses?”
“Yeah, but they won’t return my fan mail,” I joked. “Guess we’ll have to wait it out and settle for some townies instead. Surly all the guys from high school will get better looking in their thirties and forties, right? Is that a thing?”
“I don’t think the universe works like that,” Lexi replied, still laughing. “I think they all end up looking like Mr. Schnitko.”
“Our eighth grade Algebra teacher? That’s horrible, no one wants to marry that!” I couldn’t hold back my giggles either. “Do all guys grow wider instead of taller as they age? And that awful toupee… I choose spinsterhood instead, hands down.”
“Speaking of that… Miles? Are you guys…”
I cut Sophia off. “Officially done? Yeah. I saw him the day before yesterday. He was dramatic. He asked me to run away with him so we could start over and live a blissful, perfect life somewhere else.”
“That sounds kind of romantic,” Lexi said with a shrug. “You would never do it?”
“Not like that. Not without knowing the truth. He thinks that by running away he’s saving me from something, but he can’t tell me what it is. He acts like my life would crumble if he stays. And you guys think I’m the dramatic one?”
“How’s that possible?” Sophia questioned. “Your life would crumble? What does that mean?”
“The best guess I have is that it’s about a debt he can’t pay. I think he owes someone a lot of money. I think this situation is as stupid as that. If that’s the case, and he sticks around Grand Harbor, then no doubt they’ll want to collect. But if he runs, well, maybe he’s free? I don’t know. Instead it just feels like a copout. What is he saving me from, life with a poor boyfriend? I don’t care about his money. It bothers me that he would even think that. Instead of saving me from anything, he’s just punishing me for his mistakes. It’s not fair. I’m done. But enough about that, Soph. It’s your day. One of the happiest days we all get to celebrate together. This is exactly why I can’t leave Grand Harbor. This is everything to me. You guys, my family, this view,” I said, gesturing out toward the beach. “This is love. I wouldn’t leave over a boy who doesn’t even understand me.”
“I love you girls,” Sophia said, pulling Lexi and me in for a hug.
There was a soft knock on the door. Lance’s brother, Logan, brought Grandma Eve up to join us.
“Fifteen minute warning,” Logan said warmly, looking handsome in his light grey suit. He smiled back at me, and for a brief moment, I wondered what could have been had we pursued something. Instead, I pulled away. It felt like settling. He was a perfectly nice guy, sure. But he was predictable. Boring. But also easy. Stable.
As much as ‘stable’ made sense to me, it still didn’t interest me. If there was one thing I learned from my time with Miles, it was how much more fun the world was with someone daring – spontaneous – reckless. Sadly, the thing I loved about him also seemed to be the very thing tearing us apart. I hated the irony of it. Damn you for being reckless with me, Miles.
“You are more beautiful of a bride than I ever pictured,” Grandma Eve said sincerely, reaching out to squeeze Sophia’s hand.
“Don’t make me smear my makeup, Grandma,” Sophia replied, delicately tapping the sides of her eyes with a tissue.
“Do you remember the first thing you said to me the morning we found out my Harold had passed?” Sophia shook her head no. “You gasped, and said it was too soon. You said there were too many things he would miss, like watching you graduate and watching you walk down the aisle.”
“I remember that,” she said softly, reaching out for another tissue from a nearby side table.
“Well, I think you were wrong. He’s watching you today.” Grandma Eve pulled out a small picture from her sparkly nylon wristlet. It was an old picture of Harold, holding Sophia’s hand at the park, walking down the sidewalk. Our eyes immediately welled up with tears. Grandma Eve held the picture tightly to her chest. “He’s going to walk with us down that aisle today, darling. He wouldn’t miss this.”
“Grandma,” Sophia replied quietly, trying to hold back her emotion, though she was failing.
“One more thing. I thought this could be your ‘something old’ for today.” She held out a beautiful silver heart necklace. “The back is engraved.”
For my sunshine. Always. ~ H
By now, tears were flowing out of Sophia’s eyes.
“He gave that to me before we got married, dear. I want you to have it, so you can hold onto your own bit of sunshine.”
We were all weeping at this point, trying to gently dab the tears away from Sophia’s eyes.
“Are you guys ready?” The wedding coordinator Janice popped into the room. “Heavens to Betsy, what happened in here?”
“Sorry, pre-ceremony emotions,” Lexi answered back, trying to corral all of us. “Let’s go, ladies. We have a wedding to get to.”
The joy on Grandma Eve’s face was immeasurable, and I loved that everything about this day was perfect. It seemed as though nothing could possibly change that.
*****
The ceremony was beautiful and the sun hung low in the background over the water. The wind was calm and everything went along without incident. Grandma Eve had several episodes of confusion throughout the afternoon. At one point she wasn’t sure where she even was, which was heartbreaking given how lucid she was earlier in the day. Sometimes the world around her seemed perfectly clear, but a moment later, her Alzheimer’s overtook her brain and she became unsure of everything. Lance and Logan both danced with her, and she looked like she was having the time of her life in those moments, swaying around on the dance floor underneath the twinkle lights. I hoped that was at least a little bit true – I hoped her heart was calm and fulfilled by all of this.
Around nine o’clock, I stepped away from the dance floor to head inside and change out my shoes. My heels were killing me. As I passed through the front entryway to head upstairs, I stopped in my tracks.
There were policemen at the door, and they didn’t seem too happy. My dad offered them a final nod as he closed the door.
“What was that about?” I felt concerned immediately, though I wasn’t sure why. Perhaps the mere presence of police did that to everyone. Was the party too loud? It was just a wedding – surely none of the neighbors would complain about that, right? “What’s wrong? Why do you look so worried?”
“We need to talk, Olivia.” My father rubbed his temples, looking agitated.
“Is this about Miles?” The p
it in my stomach intensified. I don’t know why that was the first thought I had, but it was.
“No.” He shook his head slowly, then looked back at me with sad eyes. “They’re here for me.”
Chapter 18
“I don’t understand. Why aren’t they leaving?” I could still see two white and blue cop cars sitting outside the front window.
“They’re giving me some time before they escort me down to the station,” my dad replied, hesitating for a moment. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”
“There are cops here for you, and it’s not that bad?” I scoffed. “I don’t understand.”
“I imagine they just want me in for questioning, but I suspect when they hear what I have to say, they may book me in.”
“What?”
“I’m turning myself in, Olivia. Look, you’re going to hear some unfavorable things about me. Some of those things may be true, though I suspect not all of it is. I’ve already prepared for this, I knew it was coming. So although it may sound bad initially, I don’t want you to worry about any of this.”
“It seems too late for that! What are you saying?” I cut him off. “You’re turning yourself in? For what?”
“For you.” He looked back at me with sincere eyes. “I figured it all out. It took quite a bit of investigative work, but I found out the truth about Miles.”
“What do you mean? He did this? I hate him,” I seethed.
“Just the opposite, dear girl. This is what he’s been keeping from you. Had this unraveled on its own, the repercussions would have been far greater, so he kept it in so that wouldn’t happen.”
“I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“John Ford has been blackmailing him because he’s pissed about some big poker loss. Miles took him for over ninety thousand a while back. He told Miles he wanted every dime back, plus interest, or he would expose me, for some of my, well, let’s call them financial missteps.”
“What does all of that mean?”
“That boy, Olivia, he’s been paying Ford back weekly just to protect me. Well, to protect you from the fallout of all of this. But I can’t let him do that. He’s done nothing wrong, other than standing up for me which I don’t deserve.”
“Why would Miles do that? If he’s done nothing wrong, why would he pay John back if the real issue has nothing to do with him?”
“He understood the repercussions of what John could do to me if he had the opportunity to expose me. Miles must know you love your family, Olivia.”
“He knows that, but, I mean, he’s never had a family like ours. He can’t possibly know…”
“Maybe he does. Maybe he gets it. Why else would he pay off Ford to keep my faults a secret if it wasn’t to protect you from the heartbreak of realizing your dad isn’t exactly the man you’ve looked up to all these years?”
“What…what is it that you’ve done?” I stammered, unsure I wanted to know.
“That’s the kicker,” my dad replied with a mischievous smirk. “Money is an interesting game. Once you understand the rules, it, well, changes things.”
“That doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Ford was busted for money laundering back in the nineties, right? He was hiding profits – taking cash from his businesses, not reporting it, and then funneling it back into other investments. He didn’t see the bust coming, so it was pretty bad. He had no time to clean up some of the trails. He went to jail and lost most of his assets. It was rough. His companies went under, and I was able to pick them up for a reasonably low cost. He’s never been thrilled about that. He’s always had it out for me I think.”
“So that’s what you’ve been doing? The same thing? You’ve misused the money from your businesses?” I hoped that wasn’t true. Maybe I didn’t completely understand my dad’s business dealings, but he was a good man. I really believed that.
“Not exactly like he did it. I’m smarter than Ford, dear girl.”
“But you still did something wrong?”
“When you own a few businesses, it’s east to move money around and get a little lazy with some of the books,” he tried to explain.
“Daddy, I don’t like this. What are you saying?”
“I can’t say much. I did use some of my profits to invest in a startup, yes. That’s not going to look good. Over the last few days though, ever since I figured all of this out, I’ve had some time to, well, let’s say connect the dots. I was able to clean it up a little bit. It’s not so terrible. It will work itself out. I don’t want to say too much, just in case they want to ask you some questions.”
“But I don’t know anything,” I replied, still feeling worried.
“Exactly.” His lips curled and I appreciated the ease in his voice as he explained it to me. As frustrated as he seemed at first, probably the initial embarrassment of having the cops here for him, I did at least appreciate how confident he sounded that this would blow over. Eventually. “This is the right thing to do. I’m certain of that.”
“So what’s going to happen? You’re going to jail? That’s what Miles has been protecting you from? I don’t want that either. Is there an alternative?” Tears welled up in my eyes. “Why would you do this?”
“Because love is messy, remember? Miles shouldn’t be punished for what I’ve done, and believe me, he’s been punished enough. Ford has threatened some serious violence against him if he sees him in town, which is why he’s been so elusive as of late. He told Miles if he missed a single payment, he would turn me into the cops immediately. I wouldn’t have been prepared for that, and this would’ve ended up so much worse. All this time, Miles wanted to save you from the heartache of what I’ve done, and honestly, once I realized that – well, it feels like he’s out-loving me, if that makes sense. Like he’s protecting your heart better than I’ve been able to. Here I am, not living up to the expectations you should have of me, while some boy – Miles, he is living up to the standard of what should be worthy of your love, Olivia. I realize…” He paused for a moment, looking deep in thought. “I’m not always going to be around to take care of you.” His voice cracked.
“Dad, don’t say that…”
“It’s true,” he cut me off. “That’s a real thing, Olivia. And you know what? If I have to leave this earth, wondering who else could possibly be worthy of taking care of you, well – it would be with someone like that who would risk their own heart for yours. That’s what I’ve learned. He did all of that for you. I can’t just let things continue on like this. He doesn’t deserve that. This is my burden. One I’m not particularly proud of. There will be repercussions from it, without a doubt. But if a boy who loves you would do all of this for you, then me, as your father, who loves you even more – I have to do the right thing. There’s no alternative.”
“Dad, there has to be something else we can do.”
“This won’t be easy. I know that. But I’ve talked it over extensively with your mother, and although she’s not thrilled with it, she understands this is a much better scenario than it could’ve been had I been blindsided by it. You have to know this is the best option. I shouldn’t be gone too long.”
“Dad, there has to be another way,” I pled as tears fell out of my eyes.
“I promise, I have a plan, Olivia,” he said vaguely. “Please, just trust me. This will all be temporary.”
There was that word again. Temporary. Seemed ironic that Miles and I started out that way, and it proved to be true as time passed, yet it was now my own family using such a word. Before this moment I never would’ve considered anything related to my father as temporary.
“Does this have to happen tonight? Maybe if we had some more time, we could…”
“It’s best this way, darling. They need to take me tonight.”
“Daddy, no,” I cried, still not understanding why this was the only option.
“It’ll make more sense when the smoke clears. I promise.” He sounded reassuring, but I wondered if that was just a streng
th of his, or if it was true. He reached out and grabbed my hand. “I’ve already danced with your mother tonight. I’ve explained all of this to Seth as best as I could. Now I want one dance with my little girl before I go.”
“Dad,” I whispered. The tears were still falling out of my face. He led me toward the back patio door. “I can’t go out there. I’m a mess. Everyone will wonder what’s going on.”
“Then it’s a good thing we can hear the music from here.” He cracked one of the back windows open as a slow country song came over the speakers. He rested his arm around my back and gently grabbed my free hand. We swayed to the music in the dim light.
“Promise me everything is going to be okay,” I said softly as we danced slowly by the back door.
“No one can guarantee a thing like that, dear girl. The world is messy, people are flawed, and love – well, it rarely makes sense, even when you think it does. Me leaving tonight, it may not seem like an act of love, but I assure you, that’s exactly what this is. I tried so hard to give you and this family everything, Olivia.”
“You have, Dad.”
“No one ever gets it right. I could’ve spent more time with you and Seth instead of working so much. I could’ve taken your mother on more vacations, and I could’ve accepted a simpler life without risking so much to make it as big and as grand as possible. I had nothing growing up, and I promised myself that you and Seth would have a much more extravagant life than I ever did. That’s all I wanted to give you. More excitement. More adventure. More of the world to experience. I guess sometimes it’s hard to know when enough is enough. It’s amazing how quickly those things consume you, yet in the blink of an eye you realize those are all just things - temporary, meaningless things that don’t really matter. People matter, and perhaps I’ve lost sight of that.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “Will you promise me one thing?”
“Of course.”
“Smile anyway.” He brushed the tears off my face. “Find laughter and joy in the simplest of surroundings, and love and forgive and find wonder in small things. Don’t ever lose that. Not for money, or status, or for approval. I see what brings your heart joy, Olivia, and it was never the car I gave you for your sixteenth birthday or the jewelry I’ve bought for you at all the charity auctions. You get your joy from people – from their goodness and their triumphs and from their own excitement about the world. You find adventure in a mundane world, and that is a gift I never want you to lose.”
The Weight of Forever: (Grand Harbor: Book Two) Page 15
