Shifting Impulse: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Complete Edition - Books 1-3)

by Aurora Woodlove

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?” Ryan said with resignation in his voice.

  “Yeah, man. I met her more than seven years ago, but probably I just convinced myself she wasn’t my style. I did that a lot actually. And now she’s mine. She matches me in strength and connection too. And I feel whole again. How ironic.”

  Ryan sighed and hugged his brother, patting him on the back. “I’m happy for you, brother. I am. How did she take the news that you’re a shifter, though?” Ryan asked not out of courtesy, but because he was really interested. That reaction was what he feared most in life.

  Adam put some distance between them and laughed so hard that the forest birds left their nests. “She thought it was mostly a joke, but I think I got to her pretty fast because she accepted the mating mark that same night. She was scared after seeing my bear, but we silently agreed that we needed to be together. She agreed to be my mate, so I mated her. It hasn’t been a fun ride ever since because she is stubborn, but we’re working on it. We’re making our life together as shifters work.”

  “I’m so screwed. Celine’s going through a lot. She’s been sick since Wednesday. A week now. I couldn’t convince her not to go to work without telling her,” Ryan mumbled.

  “What do you mean? She doesn’t know she’s pregnant? You haven’t told her?”

  “No, I wasn’t sure, but tonight I noticed that her scent changed and my bear is sure. I can’t explain how I know and Janet told me a human pregnancy is detected after at least a month, so I’m not going to risk telling her. The only thing I can do is be there for her.”

  His brother didn’t know the truth about his ex-wife. It was better to keep things in the dark. Nobody knew what happened to her but Ryan. It was better to tell them she died in a car accident than share the truth with everybody. That she had discovered he was a shifter. Her rejection had hurt so much that he barely recovered from that experience. He had been with women since then, but those decisions hadn’t been the best of choices.

  That night was eye-opening for Ryan. He was going to be a father. His mate was afraid of trusting him. She had no clue he was a shifter. He didn’t know what her reaction would be when she found out. He had to keep her in the dark for as long as possible and for that he had to control his animal. His former strategy of ignoring his bear side wasn’t working anymore, so he decided to bond with the animal. He couldn’t understand why Adam thought the bear was wise and made the best decisions. His ex-wife, Joana, was testimony of that. Things didn’t go well when a human woman found out her husband was part animal.

  ***

  Celine’s pregnancy was tough on both of them. Little than a month had passed when Janet forced Celine to admit she couldn’t ignore her state much longer. Their trip to the doctor only resulted in a list of tests. Celine was terrified of needles, but Janet was decided to discover what the problem was. The doctor said it was probably anemia. Janet suspected something else, so she called the only person who could clarify things, Ryan.

  “Tell me my best friend is not pregnant, you dumbass!” Janet shouted.

  Ryan put considerable distance between his sensitive ear and the phone. He lowered his head as if Janet was right in front of him. “She is,” was all he could say.

  She was expecting him to deny it, but when he didn’t, she just sighed. “You knew? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I can’t be the one to tell her. The doctor has to, Janet. She doesn’t know what I am.”

  “Why don’t you tell her? Oh, shit! This is about Joana, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. If you want to do something for her, you can get her a pregnancy test and be there for her.”

  “It’s going to be different this time, big guy. Celine is not your ex-wife.”

  He nodded. She wasn’t. That didn’t mean he was going to tell her and watch it all go down the drain. And take him with her this time too. “I know.”

  “You don’t plan to tell her?” she asked.

  As long as I can keep it a secret, I will. I hope you can respect that. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I’m very happy it did. I want her. She makes me feel alive and whole again. I’m not very good with words when it comes to her. I intend to propose as soon as possible, so don’t spoil that for me.”

  ***

  Celine

  Celine’s pregnancy symptoms weren’t the usual nausea, throwing up and being bitchy, which were associated with a human pregnancy. Instead, she had a permanent cold and a sore throat, connected to a nasty cough and frequent fever, to top it all. Nobody but Janet suspected anything. She went to work, took more vitamins and natural medicine and almost bathed in chamomile and green tea.

  Nothing helped.

  Of course, some days were better than others, but her condition didn’t improve. She didn’t suspect anything. The only unusual behavior was that she wanted to be outside as much as possible.

  This was the second weekend she couldn’t stand being in the city and longed to be up in the mountains.

  Surrounded by dense forest, Ryan’s chalet was kind of isolated from the rest. It was the middle of August, so the forest was starting to change color and the golden light filtering through the trees gave the front area of the chalet this mystical vibe to the place. It was so peaceful that Celine dreaded leaving the place. Relaxing in a hammock Ryan had put up for her between some trees, Celine sunbathed in the afternoon sun. This bloody cold made it difficult for her to breathe, but being at such high altitude relieved the pressure somehow. Lying down helped a lot. The swaying of the hammock was forcing her eyelids to slowly close. She didn’t have anything else to do but relax.

  Ryan was preparing the barbecue. Soon his brother, his fiancé and their friends would be there to meet Celine. He had waited for so long to introduce her to his “tribe”, as they called their shifter community because of how Celine felt and especially because Anna’s transition had been quite unpredictable. Now he felt Celine was ready. She seemed more confident in their relationship and he wanted her to feel welcome before he proposed. He was planning not to tell her about being a shifter. He knew it was a mistake, but he couldn’t find any way of saying this.

  This man is so sexy I could eat him and not get tired of it. After everyone is gone I might have some ideas about that. Only looking at him calms me down. Who would have thought I would go for so long without my fake friends? I’m scared I made him a priority, but the butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me –just like now- and cracks a devilish smile; give me the reassurance that I might have done the right thing in choosing to let him into my life. He hasn’t missed a night of sleeping next to me. Sometimes it would be my house, sometimes his. The location isn’t that important. The fact that he is so responsive to my every need and seems to already know what I want before I want it makes me melt. My favorite thing about Ryan is how at ease he makes me feel. Around him as a man, around other people as he introduces me to his business partners as his love. The way my name comes out of his mouth. He does pay attention to the small things. I’m still getting used to that. Getting used to being important to someone like that. You might say it’s just the effects of being at the beginning of a relationship and that’s probably true, but there’s something about the way he carries himself in the world that says so much about this man. Did I mention the flowers? I didn’t? Sorry then, he introduced me to the world of flowers. He calls me his lily. He says I smell and I am as elegant as one. I know that’s not necessarily true, but if I keep hearing it more times, I might start believing this. I also can’t believe how addicted I’ve become to his chalet. It’s like I’m catching up for all the time I have avoided coming here. And the man is a sex machine! And a professional cuddler. I think I just invented a new job! I never thought watching a man – my man – supervising a barbecue could be so arousing. I think he moved that grill over there on purpose, just to give me a better look of his ass. Evil cuddler!

  Celine was nervous about meeting his frien
ds. She had already met Adam, Ryan’s twin brother, and Raddler, their friend who owned a farm up there in the mountains – the place where Ryan bought the meat, fruit and vegetables he needed for his restaurant – but she had yet to meet Anna – Adam’s fiancé –, Alex and Leon, who were the managers of the Outdoor complex his chalet belonged to. Adam had been so warm with her. It was strange looking at two separate Ryans. They were identical. She made a mental note to remember that Ryan was the one with the green t-shirt. It was more like a private joke. She could recognize Ryan from the two of them anytime. He always had this naughty look for her that made her panties wet instantly. It was like he could see right through her. Since he had taken the weekend off he had a day’s stubble. That was a rare thing for him because he preferred to shave daily. She couldn’t believe her ears when she found out how old he was. He looked so much younger. Nobody gave him more than thirty when he was really thirty five. She had nothing to complain about it, though. She didn’t care about it actually.

  She liked Raddler. He was such a funny guy. He even said she smelled like Ryan. His jokes were strange sometimes, but she wasn’t close to many men, so she just filed his sense of humor into the mountain-men-jokes drawer and moved on.

  Ryan was aware she was watching his every move. He couldn’t believe he was so lucky to have found such a strong woman. And she was the mother of his cub. He hoped she would accept him one day if she found out he was a shifter. He was also aware his brother was close. His bear was reaching out for his twin. He sent his brother yet another warning. They had already talked about his situation. All of them actually. Everybody knew Celine was pregnant and they had sworn not to say anything. His friends didn’t get why Ryan chose to handle things that way, but they could sense his fear and especially his anxiety, so they didn’t push it.

  The first to arrive were Alex and Leon. They brought more beer. As if they didn’t have enough of that. Ryan had stocked up on everything, including Celine’s favorite chocolate, which she now had an appetite for, since her taste buds seemed to have recovered from the cold faster than her sense of smell.

  “Man, the smell is killing me. I’m so hungry I could eat the grill too!”Alex joked, as they shook hands.

  “You always say that. Stop complaining and yelling. Celine’s trying to get some sleep before the others get here,” Ryan said in a low voice.

  “She’s still not feeling well?”Leon asked looking in the direction of the swaying hammock.

  “She’s getting better. She wants chocolate, so I’m guessing it’s a good thing.”

  Raddler’s laughter was the thing that managed to wake Celine up. She peeked at the three massive men gathered around the grill, who were now trying not to laugh so loud, but failing. She almost fell as she tried to set her feet on the ground, but she managed to make a graceful comeback. Nobody noticed a thing. She sneezed a few times and that got their attention. It wasn’t on purpose, but her body had a way of getting her in trouble somehow. They turned their heads in her direction and Ryan jogged to where she was standing.

  “Come meet the guys, baby.”His excitement was contagious. She hoped they liked her. He kept her close to him as they approached the group. Neither Alex, nor Leon hugged or shook her hand. They had just nodded their “hellos” and polite “nice-to-meet-yous”.

  “Wait, so you’re Leon, yeah?” she chuckled.

  “Yeah, that would be me,” he said with that serious face of his. “I hope you haven’t heard many embarrassing stories about me.”

  “Actually, that’s strange. The first night I came here, a huge bear scared the life out of me and I think Ryan said his name was Leon.”

  “Did he now?” Leon smirked as he looked at Ryan. Of course Leon remembered that night. He had been so curious to see why Ryan was up there on a Saturday night – when he was always at one of the restaurants - that he couldn’t stop himself from being nosy. He didn’t realize she was human until it had been too late to stay hidden. Ryan didn’t come up there at the weekend. His restaurants were always packed and he needed to be there to keep the place from self-destroying or something.

  “It’s funny you share the name of your rescue bear. That’s all,” Celine half-smiled, unaware how close she was to the truth. The same couldn’t be said about Raddler, Alex and Ryan. They all burst into laughter for some reason Celine failed to get. “What’s so funny?”she addressed all of them now.

  Alex was the one to answer her. “It’s just that Leon was the only one that bear loved to steal food from,” he tried to rectify the situation with a believable story.

  Leon preferred to stay quiet before he said something to annoy an already edgy Ryan. They had all felt his control on his bear and how close he was to losing his shit if something went wrong.

  Sipping from their beers and engaged in funny chit-chat, the guys paid no attention to the couple approaching them. They knew who they were without having to look. Adam and Anna were coming from the forest. Sex-induced oxytocin was seeping through their pores and Ryan was glad Adam’s mate was relaxed. Celine had gone inside just a few minutes before their arrival, claiming she would be back with cutlery for their outdoor lunch.

  Adam’s hand tensed around Anna’s waist as they got near the group. All this pressure wasn’t good on either of them. They had no reason to be afraid Anna would have a bad reaction since she hadn’t exactly changed into her bear form and Adam had investigated the situation. Humans that were mated to a shifter could only shift partially in the beginning and it took a lot of time until they managed to control their changes. Anna hadn’t changed at all. Her emotions had been all over the place since she was bitten, but that was just her. It was normal to be afraid of the unknown, we all are. Adam held a firm grip of her, just in case. He was more worried about his brother doing something, anything to protect his mate. His brother was so scared of working with his own bear and that made him very unpredictable. And he was so fucking strong. His bear was the wildest of them all. It was the only one kept on a leash, which was the reason for the violent behavior. At least he had back-up if something did go wrong. The guys were there too.

  Celine got clammy hands as she tried not to drop all the forks and knives that were on the plate she carried outside. She was quite clumsy and knives were one of the things that terrified her. Especially the big, pointy ones Ryan had in his kitchen. He had massive hands, more like paws to be more precise, so his knives were huge. Even looking at them made her nervous. She started chanting “keep your eyes on the floor” as she made her way out of the chalet and onto the grass. There were two more people there. That meant Adam and Anna must have arrived. She was excited to be meeting Anna. Ryan’s brother had told her some things about Anna and she needed new friends since her old ones weren’t too psyched about her refusal to go out with them. She wasn’t sorry about that. She wanted a change and this was the perfect opportunity to change her friends. Her old friends always went out in bars and clubs. She wasn’t into that, but went with them just because she didn’t want to be alone.

  The grill wasn’t even visible. They were all hanging out close to it, almost in a circle. Laughter and grilled fish filled the air. Happiness. They were enjoying each other’s company and Celine was part of that now. A family.

  Not paying attention to where she going because of how distracted she was, she set one foot on the stairs, and she almost fell. The noise made by the falling forks and knives muted the chatter. Everybody turned and what happened after that was all a blur for Celine.

  The woman sniffed the air, bared her teeth and the sound that came out of her throat was inhuman. She roared. Adam held her as tightly as he could and now Leon was shielding them with his body.

  Another roar pierced the silence, but this time it wasn’t coming from the woman. She desperately looked for Ryan, but she couldn’t find him. How could that be? He had been there a few moments before. He was the only one wearing green, so it was easy for Celine to recognize him. Thick, dark chocolate-brown fur came out
of nowhere and the most enormous brown bears started fighting. Actually, one of them was the aggressive one and the other two were trying to stop it from getting to the woman whose face was deformed now. What the hell was happening? Where had the bears come from and where were the rest of the guys? Celine felt like she was thunderstruck. She couldn’t move and her lungs were fighting for air. Her knees could barely support her body weight and threatened to give in.

  The two men who were restraining the woman pulled her away towards the forest and soon they were out of sight. The three bears kept snarling at each other and the aggressive one attacked. Sharp claws gripped into one fur and seemed to sink deeper into skin. She couldn’t follow what was happening.

  Celine found herself alone with the bears that were now on their hind legs, looking as tall as the trees behind them. She wanted to call for help and run inside, but couldn’t do anything. She remembered she was supposed to be surrounded by people, not animals. Warm people, not wild animals.

  She fell to her knees as she scrambled to get inside. She dropped the plate and it broke into a million pieces and that distracted the animals. They stopped throwing paws and scratching long gashes into one another and looked her way. She was so screwed! They noticed her and were going to eat her. One of them let out a roar and started moving in her direction.

  Hot tears the temperature of lava burned their way down her cheek. She was in the forest again. She was fourteen again. She was so hungry and thirsty she couldn’t think straight. That bear was getting closer. Anger was written all over its face. On all fours, he crashed to the ground. It looked exhausted. Something was happening to it. Its thick fur started shrinking and soon there was no more fur. The massive body that had belonged to the bear only seconds before looked like a mess of bones and skin as it was reshaping into a human body. A man’s body. A man with long hair. The naked man on the ground in front of her was lying on the ground as still as a corpse. Was he dead? What kind of question was that? Get up and run for your life. You’re going crazy, Celine. You’re running a fever. Wake up! Her mind screamed at her. She wiped her hands on her shorts again and again as if the movement would make him wake up.