Shifting Impulse: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Complete Edition - Books 1-3)

by Aurora Woodlove

  The air around his friend was so heavy that Dean's inner panther snarled and nudged him to back away from Sean. "What's with the attitude, dude? And don't you dare lie to me!"

  "It's her. She is my mate. My bear is practically tearing me apart to claim her, but I can't do that to her. I can't do that to myself either," confessed as his fists clenched. "We spent the whole day together today and now I can't stay away. I don't know what to do. She's all I can think about and she wants me to try to let her in."

  "You know what they say about the moment you find your mate, they push all the right buttons from day one and they make you want to run for the hills or hide under a bed like a scared child, so she must be the one. I'm not going to ask you if you're sure because I can see how worked up you are about this, but what are you going to do now?" was all Dean could say.

  Sean swallowed hard. He combed his fingers through his hair and huffed. "I don't know what to do, okay? I have no clue and I can't control myself any longer. I want her. I want her to be okay. I want to protect her. At the same time I can see history repeating itself and I don't want to do that again...."

  "Stop. Just stop. You can't just stay forever alone to avoid getting hurt. That's not how life is. Give yourself another chance. I'm sure this time it will be different. You aren't the same person you were last year, not to mention not the person you were five years ago. Accept the past for what it really is... the past. She might make you happy or she might break your heart. You can't stay away if your bear has already bonded with her, which has obviously happened. Where's your camera, by the way? You never leave it at home when you go out."

  Sean's mood lightened up a bit as he remembered his cracked lens. "Apparently I have to stay one more day. The lens got busted and I need a new one just like that. I needed a new one anyway. The problem is the shop's closed today and I don't want to order it online because I need it fast. I'm going to check some shops tomorrow and see what I can find."

  "Sounds like it to me. She seems like a nice person."

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Janet killed the engine in front of Sean's hotel. He unbuckled his seatbelt. It was time for goodbye and she didn't feel ready. She was nowhere near ready to say goodbye to the sexy god on the seat next to her. She didn't want to do that, yet she didn't know what to say. Exhausted and frustrated about the situation, the wheels in her head turned. She was willing to beg at this point. She couldn't stand the idea of being separated from him. Still, she couldn't look at him. Only one look and he would know what she wanted, if he didn't already.

  "I..." she began, but was cut off.

  The interruption wasn't a word or a melancholic sigh. It was a mind-blowing kiss. His right hand cupped her cheek and her head and body turned willingly. The force he held her neck in place with, his lips devouring hers like the apocalypse was just around the corner, his intoxicating smell, his need, everything spoke all the words she couldn't say. While she had debated taking this to the next level, he had acted. He had made the step they both needed. He had awakened feelings and needs she had never acknowledged as being possible.

  "I can't stay away from you. I can't," he breathed and she kissed him back with the same passion he had brought to their kiss. "Stay with me..."

  Not giving him a chance to move, she cupped his cheeks and rested her forehead on his. "You're leaving, Sean. Soon."

  Her voice was heart-broken and so was her soul. He was different from all the men she had met so far. Funny. Charming. Adorable. Protective. Delicious. Smart. Hard-working. Caring.

  "I want to say something that will convince you, but you're right. In a few days I will be gone, but we still have some time to spend together. Let me show you a good time, baby," he murmured. "I can feel you want to give in, but I can also see how afraid you are. I'm afraid too. I won't force you. It's your decision."

  "You make me feel so much. Joy. Freedom. Despair. These feelings scare me to death. It's too much. I'm sorry. I can't do this," Janet said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

  He kissed her again and lingered for a moment to enjoy the softness of her lips. It was a farewell kiss this time. "I had the best time of my life. Thank you, gorgeous."

  He got out of the car and grabbed his photography gear bag. He glanced over to Janet's seat and saw her still hunched over the gearstick, still looking like she was kissing him. His bear growled. Claim her. Our mate. He heard the animal, but there was nothing he could do now. He had asked, but she'd rejected him. He promised himself to do something about it the next day and that settled the animal a bit, but not enough to be comfortable. The day had gone so well and he had been absolutely sure she would spend the night, but now it was done. He just had to accept he still sucked at this. Having kept his distance from women for so many years spoke volumes about his seduction skills. Not that he wanted to improve his skills. He just wanted her. Janet. His mate. The problem was she kept denying she wanted him back. He wasn't about to force her into anything. That never went well.

  As he climbed the five stairs leading up to the door of the small hotel, he heard her drive away. That was it for the night. He could only hope she worked tomorrow night. His room was the second on the third floor, which was also the last floor, so it had two double roof windows. From his double bed he could see the starry night sky and would probably stare at it all night. He went in, nodded to the receptionist who greeted him back and went up to his room. He unlocked the door and opened it absent-mindedly. He carefully dropped the bag on the floor next to the desk. The room was stuffy and hot. He opened the windows and stuck his head out. He could feel the soft breeze and his frustration made him want to break stuff. Destroy the room and leave. He wanted to be in the forest. That would give him some peace. The welcoming forest always did. Just thinking about it while looking at the dark mountains standing proud in the distance settled him a bit. Just a bit. His skin was cold. Like every minute spent away from her was going to send his body a step closer into hypothermia. He knew that wasn't possible. He was a shifter. He was almost as hot as the sun. Almost all the time. And he wasn't talking about how other people, women especially, saw him. He meant the temperature of both his animal and human body. Clearing his mind and grounding his body by listening to the wind, he managed to calm his bear down.

  He was getting warmer. This was definitely new. As he thought that, he heard footsteps on the stairs and a familiar clack of platform sandals. It couldn't be. He held his breath, hoping his hunch was right. And there it was.

  Vanilla.

  She. Was. Here.

  He adjusted his shaft to hide the boner that had reacted to her scent. The footsteps stopped. He moved silently towards the door, waiting for her to knock. She sniffled. Then she announced her presence, knocking twice. Three seconds later, Sean opened the door to find his mate who looked like she had been bawling her eyes out for hours instead of just minutes.

  "Hey, baby," Sean murmured. He wasn't sure she'd heard him, but it didn't matter because she just took a few steps and launched herself into his open arms. This woman could turn him into a stupid, inarticulate love-sick puppy.

  The cage of his arms was the safest place in the world and she didn't want to leave his side. After spending the day with him, Janet was now sure this shifter was a different kind and he was a keeper. She wanted to spend the night more than anything. "Can I still spend the night?" she gave him her most seductive smile as she hugged his neck and pulled his face to hers.

  "You don't even need to ask, I'm thrilled you decided to stay," he said as he cupped her ass and pulled her to his body so that she could feel his boner. "This is what you do to me in less than ten seconds. You're delicious, baby."

  Giggles burst out of her throat. "You got that in less than ten seconds? Who are you? Superman? Sorry, I just can't believe that," she joked.

  Her laughter was contagious and Sean couldn't contain his amusement. He took his hands off her, stepped away and locked the door behind her. His left hand hugged her stomach from b
ehind and his other hand gently got the few strands of hair hanging over her shoulder out of the way so he had clear access to her neck and ear. As soon as he touched her hair, a shiver ran through her whole body and she gasped. He leaned his head so his lips almost touched her ear and inhaled. Her body trembled again and a soft moan left her lips.

  "I can be your Superman," he disclosed in the sexiest husky voice she had ever heard. "I bet I can make you come right now, only with my voice and my finger," he added as his hand slipped between the elastic band of her skirt and her stomach. Her breathing intensified, but she didn't say anything. "Your body is so soft," he continued as he cupped her sex. Her panties were soaked and her pussy throbbed. "You're so ready for me and you drive me crazy," he groaned as he pulled her closer, his fingers digging into her stomach as he tried to keep her in place. His steely erection pressed against her back. He was after all, way taller than her.

  His touch was like a match that was lit in contact with her skin. She gasped as he slid his finger between her wet folds. He bit her earlobe. "You have no idea what I want to do to you right now." He stroked her clit a few times and heat pooled in her core. She wanted this, she wanted him. Like she'd never wanted anything in her life.

  "Please," she begged him. She needed release or else her body would implode.

  "What do you need, gorgeous?"

  That word only brought her closer to the orgasm she craved with all her being. "Don't make me say it, Sean," she whimpered as her body started to convulse.

  "Tell me," he stood his ground as he brushed his lips over her exposed neck.

  Another moan.

  "Orgasm. I need this orgasm... you brute!" she almost shouted. He complied and his finger found its way inside her. She shivered and rested her head on his rocky chest. The pressure increased as he slid his finger in and out of her, only to come back to her clit and stroke it as her legs trembled. She was close. She could feel it and so could he. She couldn't take it much longer anyway. What pushed her over the edge into the land of electric ecstasy were the words whispered in that low, husky voice again. "I will fuck you senseless tonight."

  Bang. The door to pleasure was smashed wide-open.

  Her bones were elastic now and her brain was foggy, but in a gratified way. The only reason Janet was still standing was because of him. She felt like a puddle on the floor, but he supported her body like she really weighed nothing. Shifters. She was beginning to enjoy being with him. Too much, unfortunately.

  He lifted her in his arms and placed her on the bed, paying attention not to pull her long hair. "You play dirty," she teased him.

  "That's only the beginning. Plus, you like me playing dirty. I can see it in your eyes," he said as he peeled his shirt off and unbuttoned his jeans. At the sound of the zipper, she lifted her head, suddenly paying attention to what was unraveling in front of her eyes. "What are you doing?" she asked, confused.

  "Flashing you, teasing you and taking a shower." That being said, he pulled his jeans lower and stepped out of them. The gray boxer briefs he was wearing showed his thick erection. As he was preparing to take them off she asked him to stop.

  "Why? You don't like seeing naked men or are you shy?" he laughed.

  "Oh, I like naked men, naked you especially, but that's not the point. Come here," she said as she struggled to get to the edge of the bed. Once she was there, she stretched her arms and slid her finger down his happy trail until she reached the briefs. She placed a kiss on his lower abdomen and took his briefs off. His thick shaft bounced free of its constraints and she gasped at how long it really was. And not only long. She looked up into his eyes. They were raw and infused with animal power. She had never seen a shifter's animal this close. She wasn't afraid, though. Even more turned on yes, but afraid no. She was doing that to this almost wild hunk of a man. It was her power that was making the animal to be this close to the surface. Before she could muse on it any longer, he swatted and was on his knees before she knew what was happening. His lips crashed into hers and his tongue massaged hers as she granted him access to her mouth and implicitly to all of herself. "I'm going to undress you. Will you have a shower with me? I want to see all of you."

  She sighed and she didn't allow him to undress her. She was self-conscious about her body even in the dark. She couldn't let him see her naked in the shower. "No, you don't. I'm ugly and fat... Please don't ruin this," she said as she directed her gaze to the floor.

  He inhaled and his face turned serious. He cupped her cheeks and made her look at him. "Baby, I don't call you beautiful and gorgeous just to have something to say. I absolutely and honestly love the way you look. Please don't hide your curves from me. They are what make you, you. They turn me on and give me a boner in less than ten seconds." Tears rolled down her face. "I want to worship your body and your spirit." She shook her head as she listened to him. Repeatedly. "I look at you and I see a luscious, sexy woman who will someday carry happy children in here," he said as he touched her belly.

  Her voice trembled, but she found the courage to say the words. She couldn't stop her pain and fury. "No, Sean. You see what you could have with another woman... I am fat because this was the only way I could deal with life. The only way I could deal with my fate. This right here –" she gestured to her stomach, lifted her top and lowered her skirt to show a scar that stretched from the right side to the middle of her stomach "- is the effect of incompetence and carelessness. It's also the reason I can't have children and my last boyfriend couldn't stand to look at me. I'm damaged goods, baby and nobody wants me, so fuck me and let's get this over with," she said as she took her top off and tossed it to the ground.

  Sean was baffled. He wasn't expecting that scar and he didn't know what to say. It looked fully healed and old. His knees hurt from sitting on the floor like that, but it didn't matter to him now. He had to do something. The only thing he knew how to make things better was through touch. He placed the tips of his fingers on the scar and traced it, allowing the bear to work its magic on her skin. The places his fingers touched warmed and invisible tendrils of love healed the cells from the trauma they still kept the memory of. His bear was strengthening the bond with its mate and creating new memories for the traumatized skin. It was like magic, but without the wand, the light or the sparks. Her body visibly relaxed and when he looked up in her eyes, he could see how affected she was by what he was doing. If only she didn't ask what that was and he didn't have to explain the bear to her. Sean was risking his secret now, but it seemed like a small price to pay for soothing his mate. "This scar doesn't make you ugly. It makes you badass, a survivor. Bad things happened to you, but you're still here to tell the story. You're still here for me to love," he leaned closed to the scar and his mouth retraced her scar with soft pecks. After he did that, he also licked the scar just like his bear would.

  "Can you tell me what happened? How you got that scar?"

  She didn't answer. She just hugged him and he grinned as his face was happily suffocated by her breasts. He cleared his throat in the hope she would release him and the noise had the desired effect. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to suffocate you."

  His grin said more than his words ever would. "You can suffocate me any time you want, baby. Between your boobs is one of the best places to be, but I have so many orgasms to give you tonight and so little time, so we'd better get going."

  "Wait, you mean... you still want me? You aren't rejecting me because I'm damaged goods?"

  She looked so tiny and vulnerable in her pain. He hoped what he had to say next wouldn't ruin the progress he'd made, but he had to say it. "The fact that you've shared your pain with me doesn't give me an excuse to make you feel bad about yourself. I admire your courage. I admire that you're still a happy and supportive person in spite of the trauma you've been through, which could have easily turned you into a bitter person who hates everyone. Yet you're not. You're funny, kind, helpful and a joy to be around. You make other people's light shine because they are
guided by your own light. You're a survivor, baby. The fact that you can't have children shouldn't be a reason for men to reject you and it definitely isn't a problem for me."

  Unwilling to share what had caused that scar, she changed the subject. "I feel dirty, it's probably time for a shower for me too."

  "Wait, let me help you with these annoying clothes, it's a task too difficult for your delicate hands," he grinned as if he'd just found out some dirty secret.

  She was in on his way of making her relax and she liked it so much that she was naked and following him into the bathroom in less than a minute. He turned on the light and went into the shower cabin to test the water. The room had been dark without any other lights than the ones from the stars and city lights, which wasn't much, so it took Janet a minute to get used to the bright light in the bathroom. When she didn't squint anymore, she looked at Sean who was still keeping his distance from the water. It must still be cold. She approached him in an attempt to hug him, only to be stopped by what she saw on his back.

  She covered her mouth with her hand. "What are those?" she whispered in horror.

  Sean turned around and she saw more of those absolutely hideous scars. He not only had four long claw marks on his back, but he had some on his eight-pack too. Those were mostly healed, but the ones on his back were still pink. She knew he was a shifter and could probably imagine the ways he got them, but he hadn't shared his secret with her and she wasn't about to let him know what information she had. It was against the law to share the secret. Not that her ex-boyfriend gave a damn about the law, but she did. Shifters didn't have many laws, not that she knew much about that subject anyway, but the few things she'd managed to find out from the guys, she respected.

  Casually, he answered as if he was talking about a TV show or just something he read in a book. "I bumped into a few unfriendly four-legged creatures over the years, but I'm strong and armed, so I'm still here. Can't say the same about some of them, though," he smirked as he finally got under the shower, facing her. He reached out for her. "It's fine, come here. I have a promise to keep." Sean licked his lips as he looked her up and down. He was clearly turned on by what he saw. The extra weight didn't seem to disgust him like her ex had mentioned to her several times when he was drunk. What had she ever seen in him? Other than the fact he was a shifter? Nothing much. He was dismissive, stubborn, aggressive in a frightening way, and a shifter-whore. Enough about him. You have a chance to have fun tonight, so go get it before he changes his mind.