Kissed By Moonlight

by Lucy Lambert

  “You’re the girl from the party, right?” he said.

  He grabbed the key between them and forefinger and guided it into the lock. He had long fingers. Two of his knuckles were bruised.

  I looked at him finally. Yeah, it was the guy. A bit of stubble on his cheeks made him look a little older. He smiled at me, his green eyes searching my face. I didn’t think it was possible to feel the way I did so shortly after… that almost happened. But my heart did a little dance when he smiled at me.

  “I’m Stephanie,” I said.

  “Adam,” he replied. He twisted the key in the lock and pulled the door open, “And I’ll see you in class tomorrow for the midterm, right?”

  I sniffled a little and wiped at my cheeks. I had to look horrible! How could he smile at me when I looked the way he did.

  He pulled my key from the lock and handed it back to me. I put one foot inside, but then hesitated.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  He just nodded, “Yeah, good thing I was on my way to the library.”

  It was only when I got up to my room, turned on the light, and closed and locked the door behind me that I really thought about what he said. I leaned against the door and slid down it until I was sitting. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. My thigh still hurt where Joseph scratched me, and I thought I had to be bleeding.

  The soccer field was on the other side of the campus from the library. It could have been that he was on the way from his dorm to it, but the buildings here were girl only.

  Had he been following me?

  Chapter 14

  The amphitheater-shaped lecture hall flooded with students. I wanted to stay near the double entrance doors, but that tide swept me up the stairs and into a seat near the middle of the third row.

  There had to be almost a hundred and fifty people in that room by the time the flow of students slowed to a trickle.

  A set of windows running along the back wall, butting against the ceiling, filled the lecture hall with natural light. Large ducts, painted a dull mud brown, blew cool air down on us to fight away all that extra body heat.

  All I brought were two pens. No messenger bag today. I’d have to leave it at the front of the room, and I didn’t really trust myself to not forget it, or for some classmate of mine picking it up as they slumped from the room in an academic daze.

  People standing near the front flipped through pages of notes, some neatly typed, others handwritten. Cramming just moments before, hoping to spew all that knowledge out onto the paper and then forget it again until finals rolled around.

  I plugged my ears, not wanting to hear people shout dates and names at each other.

  It was always bad luck to study right before a test, I found. You never remembered anything.

  Then again, I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. And it wasn’t from studying. No. Every time I laid on my little single bed and closed my eyes, I saw Eric and Joseph’s faces laughing down at me. I shifted in my seat, wincing at the pain in my thigh were Joseph scratched me.

  So, after a few hours of attempted sleep, I stayed up until about four in the morning, running my stinging eyes over my lecture notes and snippets of chapters from books.

  Even now, closing my eyes, I could feel the grass against the small of my back where my shirt rode up as they pushed me down.

  My first instinct that morning on waking had been to call mom, but she hadn’t sounded so well during our last call. Some new round of treatments, apparently.

  I couldn’t disturb her with my schoolyard troubles. I knew it was wrong to think like that, but I just couldn’t stop.

  Just like I’d been powerless to stop those two frat assholes.

  Adam walked into the room, then, followed by Dr. Hackett, the Gandalf look-alike with a long, flowing white beard and pair of circular spectacles. Dr. Hackett closed the doors behind him, amplifying the conversations a little more.

  Adam wore pretty much the same thing as the prior night: his leather jacket, a pair of blue jeans ripped on one knee, and a white t-shirt with a v-neck.

  I lifted my hand, trying to get Adam’s attention as he scanned the rows of mostly-filled seats. There was an empty chair beside me. He’d saved me last night from those savages, perhaps he could save me today from my own frayed nerves and fright.

  My pulse quickened as his eyes got closer. I wanted to hiss an “Adam!” out to him, but Dr. Hackett was already raising his hands to call for quiet.

  Adam’s eyes passed over me, not pausing at all. He started up the stairs just as Dr. Hackett cleared his throat.

  “So nice to see so many unfamiliar faces here. Remember, just showing up for tests won’t be enough to pass the course. Please, everyone place any bags or loose paper at the front. You can retrieve it when you finish. Cell phones off. Any ringing, and your phone is mine until you come to my office hour to retrieve it. When I give the word, you may flip over the test sheet, open your work booklet, and begin. Good luck,” Dr. Hackett said with the raspy voice of a lifelong chain smoker.

  The conversations had died down to a last few rebellious whispers. I could hear the low drone of the condensers as they pushed cold air through the ducts. But mostly what I concentrated on was the thud of Adam’s footsteps as he walked past my row.

  Turning my head as much as I dared, I watched him go up to the very back row, taking a seat right at the end of the aisle.

  What was wrong? He’d seemed so nice last night. Now, it was like it had never happened.

  Was he embarrassed or something? I was the one who almost got raped!

  I shuddered at the thought, rubbing at my eyes.

  “You may begin. I must remind you that you must stay for a minimum of one hour before you can hand in your test sheet and booklet.”

  Real life was so confusing. Boys were confusing. I flipped over the test page as I popped the lid of one of my pens and jammed it down on the back so I wouldn’t lose it.

  History, now that was clear. A line of identifiable actions and reactions that led to certain events. A line you could draw through the names of people, places, battles.

  I bit down lightly on the tip of my tongue, hunching over the booklet and scribbling down all I knew Paul Revere’s involvement in the Revolution, pleased at my ability to recall all that information.

  The certainty of it all felt so good. I concentrated on every word, studying the questions and giving the best possible answers and explanations.

  For that time, I could forget my own problems, my own history and the future it pointed towards, and just write.

  When Dr. Hackett cleared his throat, I’d entered a trance-like state. I jumped at the noise, looking around at the room, not recognizing any faces, or even really knowing where I was for a few seconds.

  “It has now been one hour. Those of you who are finished may hand in your test materials, collect your belongings, and enjoy the remainder of your day.”

  Chairs squeaked, desks groaned and backs cracked as people who were done got up to go.

  I looked down at my test sheet. There were still two points I had to address in my essay before I could write the conclusion.

  Leaning forward, I got back to work. Some ink had rubbed off against my pinky finger in my hurry to get everything down, but that didn’t matter.

  Something seen out of the corner of my eye made me glance over.

  It was Adam. He looked at me as he made his way down the stairs, test materials in hands. The little metal draw on his jacket zipper clicked every time he took another step.

  When he saw me looking, he turned away.

  What was he doing? He must have seen me trying to get his attention earlier. He knew I wanted to talk to him.

  Had he done this deliberately? Finished his test so that he could leave right away?

  I looked down at my booklet. Damn it; I couldn’t hand it in like this. Not if I wanted to maintain my scholarship.

  I bit down on the tip of my tongue until it hurt. Adam handed
his papers over to Dr. Hackett and left the room, joining the flow of all the other early finishers. The campus wasn’t that big, but there were so many places you could go. I didn’t even know what dorm he was in, or if he was in a dorm at all.

  My heart beat so hard I could feel my pulse in my toes. It roared past my ears as I leaned back to do the fastest writing I’d ever done. I had to keep concentrated and not glance at the clock, knowing every second took him farther away, made it more difficult to find him.

  By the time I scratched the words “In conclusion,” onto the final sheet of my workbook, my hands shook. My letters came out more chicken scratch than words, and I hoped to God that Dr. Hackett or his TAs could read it.

  “Yes…” I said triumphantly as I finished, earning me dirty looks from the blonde girl two seats down from me.

  I practically rushed down the stairs, shoving my pens into my pocket.

  “Have a nice…” Dr. Hackett started to say as I shoved my papers at him.

  “You too,” I said, wrenching one of the doors open and slipping through into the hall beyond.

  Chapter 15

  The hall was empty. I let the door handle slip from my hand. The click it made when it shut was the loudest thing there. It was between classes. The hall was long and broad, smaller rooms lining either side all with their doors shut.

  Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I started forward at a quick walk.

  Where was he? The lecture hall was on the second floor of the Liberal Arts building. It had another name, bought by some old rich family I couldn’t remember. I didn’t care, either.

  My footsteps echoed back to me, making it sound like there were a dozen Stephanie Hursts looking for Adam. The scratch on my thigh burned under the denim of my jeans, but I ignored it.

  Why was it so important that I find him? I couldn’t answer that question. All I knew was that it consumed me at that moment. I could think of nothing but finding Adam and making him sit still long enough to talk with me.

  I shoved open the white-painted door marked “STAIRWELL 2” in stenciled letters. The echo of my footsteps boomed in my ears like a chattering machine gun as I quickly descended.

  Where the hell was he? Why was he avoiding me? What is wrong with me? I kept thinking.

  Shoving open the door at the bottom of the stairs, I emerged into the sunlight. It drenched me with its warmth moments before the cool breeze sent a shiver down my back. I was on the sidewalk, looking across one of the lanes that snaked its way across the campus to allow cars through.

  The leafless trees shuddered and waved in the wind, their clacking branches again making me think of dried old finger bones clattering together.

  “Hey!”

  A hand falling my shoulder nearly made me shriek, my mind flashing back to the previous night. I held the noise in my throat, opting instead for a brief jerk at the unexpected touch. But I knew that voice.

  “How’d the test go?” Jenn asked.

  I spun to face her. Today her hair was long and straight, and she’d applied some black lipstick to her lips. She also wore a leather jacket, and a small black knapsack hung from one shoulder.

  It seemed somehow unnatural for her to be out in the daylight like that. The sun reflected off her nose piercing as she flared her nostrils.

  “Test? Oh, yeah! Well, I think. Whatever. Hey, have you seen Adam?”

  “Adam? Adam Arnold?” she said, shifting her knapsack from one shoulder to the other.

  “Yeah. Seen him?” I said. I could hear the excitement in my voice, and I knew I’d be rolling my eyes if I were in Jenn’s position.

  She still had her hand on my shoulders and she ran it slowly over to cup my cheek for a moment as she looked down into my eyes.

  “I think so, maybe. Down by the library.”

  “Thanks!” I said.

  I started in the direction of the library, crossing the street as I made a mental map of the campus in my mind, trying to figure out what route he’d take, and how to get there first.

  “Does he owe you money or something?” Jenn said, her long strides eating up the distance between us until she was right beside me.

  “What? No,” I said.

  “Oh, so you have a crush on him, then,” Jenn concluded.

  It took me a second to hear the barely-covered hurt in her voice. Heat flashed through my body as I thought back to the party, of the warmth of her mouth against mine. Of the way she looked at me sometimes.

  “Of course I don’t,” I said, regretting seeing her now.

  The heels of her boots clicked on the sidewalk, my runners almost silent in comparison. Normally, I knew, I’d be so worried about having rushed through that last portion of my essay.

  But the essay didn’t really matter. Somehow, the more rational part of me knew I’d done just fine.

  We moved around a bend in the road, both sides of it lined with evergreens. Their sweet pungent filled the air.

  “So why do you want to see him so badly, then?” Jenn said.

  “He…” I said, about to launch into the whole story of the walk home last night. I changed my mind, “He helped me study for the test. Today he’s ignoring me. I just want to know what his deal is.”

  It wasn’t exactly a lie. He had, in fact, helped me study by getting rid of Eric and Joseph. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn’t showed? Would I be in some hospital somewhere? Would I be dead right now?

  My breath caught in my throat at the thought, and the Fall air felt especially chilly against my face.

  “What a weirdo,” Jenn said, “Though, you know, he is kinda cute. Sometimes I miss being with guys. Sometimes,” she finished, glancing my way.

  She did seem a bit more relieved, though I thought that my little omission there was clear in my tone.

  But then the library loomed up above the trees. It was designed like a fortress, the brown walls high and imposing. There were even crenellations along the roof. We started up the stairs to the entrance.

  The building was recessed slightly into the ground, the windows of the “basement” clear to see. It was like a dry moat, ready to flood at any time to guard the knowledge secreted within.

  “You saw him around here?” I said, looking through the plate-glass windows. There was the front desk, a line of students looking bored as they waited to check out books. To the right was the small cafe, and straight ahead a bank of computer terminals for searching through the catalog.

  My eyes flicked back and forth, searching. I looked back over my shoulder, wondering if he was already out.

  “There he is!” Jenn said, nodding towards the cafe.

  He stood by the register, a can of soda in his hand ready to check out.

  I wanted to reach for the handle to pull the door open, but my muscles froze. Doubts flooded me. What if he didn’t want to talk because he didn’t like me? What if he regretted what he’d done? What if he doesn’t like me?

  “You know, it’s supposed to be the guy who’s nervous about all this,” Jenn said.

  “I’m not nervous,” I said, trying to hide how my hands shook.

  “Whatever. Let’s go find out what this guy’s deal is. Want to grab lunch after?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  Jenn pulled the door open and pushed me through. We went to the cafe and stood by the entrance, waiting for him to pay for the can of Coke he held.

  The ground floor of the library was fairly noisy, with attendants asking people for their student cards, students loading and unloading backpacks and bags laden with books, chatting with their friends. I didn’t think there was any way that he could have heard us.

  As we stopped, he looked up. He paused, then, one hand digging in the pocket of his jeans for change. Jenn waved at him, a small, satisfied smile on her lips.

  “It’s like we caught him rubbing one out or something,” she said, whispering it from the side of her mouth.

  “Jenn!” I said, even though she’d said it so quietly I was cer
tain I was the only one who could hear it.

  But then Adam snorted and shook his head, putting a few bills into the cashier’s hand and waving away the change.

  “He heard you!” I said. I could feel my skin getting hot and red. Why didn’t I feel so nervous around this guy?

  “No way. Come on, let’s go settle this so we can grab some lunch. We can eat in my room.”

  Adam went to one of the small, circular tables and sat down, cracking open the soda and taking a sip as he looked calmly at us.

  Jenn started into the cafeteria and I followed. She stopped beside him, crossing her arms under her breasts and tapping one foot. I felt like hiding behind her and trying to peep over her shoulder.

  Come on! I admonished myself. God, had it really been so long since I’d had a crush that I was acting like a little girl?

  “So, Adam, Steph told me about last night,” Jenn said.

  Adam sipped from the can and wiped at his lips with his thumb.

  “She did?”

  Steeling myself, I came out from behind Jenn to stand beside her. Adam looked at me for a moment, then back to her. Was that supposed to mean something?

  “Yeah, it must have been quite the study session. Why’d you ditch her?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “It was like you didn’t even see me in the lecture hall. I waved,” I said, finding the strength to interject.

  This time Adam actually glanced around the cafe, as though looking for an escape route. I almost pitied him for a moment. Jenn was such a force of will. I wouldn’t want to be the one receiving that stare from her.

  “Really? Sorry, I was just trying to remember all my notes. I don’t even really remember seeing Dr. Hackett. So, last night worked for you? You got all your studying done?”

  “Hey, that’s not the full answer…” Jenn started.

  I knew he was lying. He’d seen me, looked at me at least twice in the lecture hall. But why was he lying? What was he hiding?

  “Yeah, studying was great, thanks. Hey, you wanna grab a bite?” I said to him.

  Jenn looked at me, her smug smile gone. Shock and surprise replaced it. I felt bad. I knew she wanted to eat with me and spend more time with me. But I also didn’t think I was what she wanted me to be.