Kate tried to shrug, but even the small movement hurt. “Yeah- well, I’m just saying. I don’t have a job to go back to.” She closed her eyes and saw Creed’s face. Battered. Eyes almost swollen shut, face leaking blood. He hadn’t given up. He’d done what he could to keep her safe. He’d kept his promise. The pain that assaulted her was swift, tearing through her and crushing her, doing more damage than that bullet in her thigh ever could have.
“You should stay with us.”
“I- I don’t know, Tia…”
“Jack and I- we’d like that. He feels terrible about what happened. He’s out right now, trying to figure out who those men were and what happened to Creed, otherwise he’d be here. I’ve never seen him- so- he feels responsible. When we got the call from the hospital- and it’s lucky that you listed me as your next of kin and emergency contact on anything you’ve ever signed and not mom or dad, he nearly lost it. I’ve never seen him like that.”
“That’s how you- found out?”
“Yes! I was at work! Jack was- well, you know.”
She nodded. Jack was out still trying to take care of getting Creed a fake ID so that he could leave. With her. He’d tried to ask her to do that and she’d pretty much told him he was crazy. She had a life. She couldn’t just pick up and go with a man she didn’t know. A man she’d been with for a day. A man who called her his, even though she was anything but.
She’d give anything to go back to that moment and tell him yes. Even if she didn’t mean it. She’d make him believe that she did. She would give anything to go back to that moment that he mouthed those words.
I love you.
She’d tell him she loved him too, even if she didn’t believe in it. Even if she didn’t know what that meant. She’d go back and lie to him and make him believe her. Because he didn’t seem like the kind of person who had ever known love. He was a big man, a man, she was willing to bet, was an asset to any club because of his size. He looked like a thug and was expected to act like one, but he was so much more than that. Underneath all those complicated layers, he had a heart. A good one.
He was everything she never knew she wanted.
And she hadn’t even been able to give him one small reassurance before he died.
No! I can’t think that he’s dead. I refuse to believe that. Creed is a survivor. He survived before. He wouldn’t have left me. Not like this…
“Hey… are you okay? Are you tired? I can shut up now. Or- are you in pain? I can call a nurse and they’ll give you morphine or something.”
Kate slowly shook her head. She was tired. Exhausted to her very bones, but it had nothing to do with the gunshot wound on her leg. How could her entire life have changed so drastically and she was the only one who knew about it? She and Creed. Maybe Jack suspected. Maybe he didn’t.
“How come you didn’t tell me?” she said instead, because she couldn’t bear to talk about what happened or think about Creed any longer. It was far too painful. Her heart ached in a way she’d never felt before and she needed to stop the slow bleed out before it was fatal.
Tia’s hand fell to hers again. “Tell you what?”
“That- uh- are you and Jack- expecting?”
Her sister’s blush confirmed that Creed had been right. How he knew, Kate had no idea. He was just like that, strange, perceptive in a way that other people weren’t. He’d spent a hard life on the streets and it was like his senses were honed sharper than hers.
He gave me everything he had because he knew that every single day might be his last.
“I- how did you…”
Kate forced a smile, one that she almost felt, just for her sister’s sake. Because having a baby was happy news. It was the best news. She wanted to be happy for Tia and Jack. She really, truly did. In the face of her heartache, new life was a miracle. It was something else she could cling to.
“I don’t know. I guess you’re just- glowing.”
Tia snorted. “In all my life, I’ve never heard you give me a real compliment, Kate Reid. I don’t believe for a second that I’m glowing.”
“Well, I heard you tell Jack that you threw up on the bed and I put two and two together since you went to work both days.”
“Maybe I had the flu.”
“A flu that lasts for nine months?”
Tia offered a small, shaky smile. “I’m six weeks along. I was doing great and then most books and crap online says that’s when it starts. Six weeks. It’s been… really awful. I’ve thrown up at work four times. I keep wondering how long it will be before everyone knows.”
“Is it just a single bathroom?”
“Yeah. One of those that I can go into by myself. I run the tap so hopefully no one hears.”
“If they did, they’d probably just figure you have an eating disorder, since you’re so thin.”
“Kate!”
Kate laughed softly, a real laugh, even though it hurt. She clutched her sister’s hand. There was at least an hour of her life when she thought it was going to be her last. That she wouldn’t have this. That she’d never get to ask Tia about the baby. That she’d never get to hold her niece or nephew if it was true. She’d been desperate enough, at one point, to consider putting a bullet in her own body, just to make sure she didn’t suffer. To spare Creed seeing her taken by man after man, tortured, and killed in front of him.
She was there, in a hospital bed, alive, her sister’s hand folded up in hers. That was something to be thankful for. No matter how much everything else hurt, she’d cling to the family she had left. Some people didn’t get as lucky as she did. There were people out there who would do anything for one more minute.
Over the years, Kate had to admit, she’d wasted a lot of those moments. Squandered them, thinking there’d always be more. Thinking that she’d always have more time to get things right, to put things back together, to figure things out.
Then there was Creed. He came into her life, took her by storm, turned everything inside out, upended everything she thought she knew.
“I’ve made a decision,” Kate said suddenly and Tia’s eyes flew back to her face.
“What?”
“I’m going to stay here. With you guys, since you were kind enough to offer. I’ll drive you crazy for a few months and then I’ll get a job and a place and move out. And I’m going back to school.”
“What? But you already have a degree.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to get my Masters and then I’m going to teach. Or something.”
“You? A teacher?” Tia snorted. “Oh god. You don’t have the patience for that.”
“I was talking about college level here, not kindergarten.”
“Well… you can certainly do anything you want.” Tia nodded hard. “Anything. You’re smart and you’re gorgeous and you have one hell of a survival instinct. I think that’s amazing. You’re- I can’t believe all of this happened. I’m so happy that you’re here, Kate. That you’re alright. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. Even if you’re a pain in the ass, you’re still my big sister and I’m always going to look up to you. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.” Kate leaned forward and pulled her sister into a hug. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually stopped to take time to do this. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Never. If she loved someone, she was going to let them know it. Friends. Family. She had so many people in her life and she’d never told one of them she was happy that they were there. “I’m going to travel too,” she whispered into her sister’s ear. “I’ve always wanted to do that. I’m going to. Now. Before I go back to school.”
Tia pulled away and swiped at her eyes, which were beginning to water again. “Oh god. Really? I thought you didn’t like traveling? You always said it was a waste of money.”
Kate shrugged. “Maybe I was wrong. About a lot of things.”
Tia leaned back in the chair and set a hand on her flat stomach. She really was glowing. It wasn’t a
lie, what Kate had said earlier.
She stared at her sister and thought to herself that she’d never seen a more beautiful woman. She was happy for Tia, that she had Jack, who loved her and would care for her. She was happy that they were going to be a real family. She knew she’d never have those things for herself. A husband, children. If she couldn’t have them with Creed, then she wasn’t going to have them with anyone. Not because there was some petulant version of herself in there crossing their arms and throwing a tantrum, but because she’d never met anyone like him and she knew she wouldn’t again.
The funny thing was, she didn’t believe in romance. She wasn’t even sure she’d changed her mind.
But there was something people said. The whole fairy tale notion about there being one man for one woman and that was it. That once you met them, you were done. Head over heels, helpless and hopeless. That part was true.
For her, Creed was it. He’d always be it.
Chapter 15
KATE
Home.
It was a good word. She didn’t know how much she’d miss it, being away. She had some money saved up and after she sold her house back in Florida, she used the profit to travel, just like she said she would.
She’d been to places she never thought she’d be brave enough to go by herself. She started in Scotland, since she’d always wanted to see it. From there, travel wasn’t expensive as she thought. It turned out, as the months ticked by, she got good at it. She was so confident she’d gone to places that people said she was crazy to want to see. Egypt was her favorite.
“Kate!” Tia’s excited scream echoed through the airport and Kate turned towards the voice. She spotted her sister immediately, running across the tiled floor. She had flip flops on, which made the movement difficult.
“Tia!” Kate dropped her shoulder bag and purse on the ground beside her and swept her sister up in a tight hug. Her baby sister’s form had filled out, thanks to motherhood. She now had fuller breasts and gentle hips, curves that suited her well. She beamed at Kate and had to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes.
“Oh my god. I missed you!”
“Come on. You didn’t miss me that much. You were probably glad to have me out of your hair at last.”
“Never.” Tia shook her head. “You haven’t even seen Dawn yet.”
“That’s not true. I’ve seen her online a hundred times. She’s the most beautiful girl on earth. She looks just like her mom.”
“Oh my god!” Tia put her hands on her newly rounded hips. “Did you actually learn some charm over there?”
“Over there? You make it sound like I was away at finishing school or something.”
Tia grinned. “Jack’s at home with Dawn. I wanted to come here without having a meltdown or a blow out in the car.”
“I don’t even want to know what a blowout is.”
“You’re right. You don’t. Just imagine a child covered from head to toe in their own feces…”
“Yup. Definitely didn’t want to know.” Kate shouldered her bags and together she and Tia walked over to the baggage carousel.
“So- are you- are you home for good now?”
Kate shrugged. She didn’t stop watching the spinning metal track though none of the bags were out yet. “I guess so. Seven months was long enough.”
“Now you get to come home to a three-month-old baby who sleeps for aboute five minutes a night.”
“Remind me to stop and buy earplugs on the way home.” She flashed her sister a wry grin. “Don’t worry. If traveling taught me anything, it’s that it’s possible to live without being comfortable. And it’s also possible to sleep on a moving train, in an upright chair, during a massive thunderstorm or even a room full of people talking. I might have left as a princess, but I’m not one anymore.”
“You were never a princess,” her sister reassured her.
One by one the bags started pouring out of the strange black mouth that led onto the carousel. Kate watched for her lone purple suitcase. She’d also learned to travel light. Once upon a time, she’d been a lover of clothes and shoes, but then- then her world collapsed in on itself and she learned that a nice purse, a designer sweater, a thousand-dollar pair of shoes- they didn’t mean shit.
She was okay living out of a suitcase for over half a year.
She’d faced the one-year anniversary of it alone. She’d made it through it, just her and a glass of wine. Rather than mourn Creed’s passing, she decided to mark it as a celebration of the day she finally figured out what it meant to live.
Creed, she knew, wasn’t dead. Jack never had been able to find a body. He’d called and done that bullshit routine about being the guy’s brother, and he’d never turned up.
Kate knew she hadn’t dreamed that last part, about Creed being there, right before she passed out. He was likely the one who had called the police. He’d made it out alive. And disappeared.
That tiny seed of hope in her heart had never been extinguished. She’d just gone from hoping he was alive, to knowing he was alive and hoping one day he’d come back for her. When he didn’t, after months, she’d got tired of sitting around waiting. She’d picked up and gone to Europe.
A year and a few weeks after the event, she still held out hope that one day, maybe, just maybe, she’d find him.
“Is that your bag?” Tia pointed and Kate snapped out of her thoughts.
“Yeah.” She lunged for the purple suitcase, the one with a large butterfly on it. It might have been girly and Tia might have picked it out, but it was easy as hell to identify, which was nice amidst the sea of black suitcases that surrounded it.
On the ride home, Tia chatted happily about all the things Kate had missed. Even though she called home as much as she could, and used her laptop for video chat when she could get an internet connection, she knew she’d missed a lot. Tia filled her in on the gory details of a thirty-three-hour labor. On how seeing her daughter’s face for the first time finally made it all worth it. She learned every detail she already knew, and she didn’t mind one bit.
When they got home, Jack was at the front door to greet them. The same front door where they’d once found Creed, injured, bleeding, alone.
Kate stuffed the pain of that somewhere deep inside of her, where she shored it all up, the pain, the fear, the agony, but also the happiness, the joy, the laughter. She kept those few hours she’d spent with Creed locked away, a vault inside her heart. Those memories would remain with her until the day she died. She’d remember every single detail of his face for the rest of her life.
“What a huge girl you are!” Kate swept up Dawn and laughed as her niece cooed and waved chubby fists at her face. “She knows me,” Kate said proudly. “See, she remembers all our video chats.”
Tia laughed while Jack moved out and gathered up Kate’s few pieces of luggage. Dawn babbled away in her own language and reached out, trying to grab Kate’s nose. She ducked a few times before she let the chubby baby hand close over its target. Dawn gave a squeal of triumph and Kate laughed. God, it was good to be home. Even if it wasn’t truly her home.
She’d picked up the pieces where she could and got on with her life. She was still learning how to do that. Rather than pay for an apartment, Tia already filled her in on the fact that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Kate was going to stay with them while she did her Masters. Tia said she might as well take her sister’s money if Kate was willing to throw it away renting a hole in the wall apartment. Kate couldn’t really argue with that logic.
So maybe it was technically her home.
Kate continued to play with Dawn until she smelled a strange odor coming from the beautiful little girl with the chubby cheeks and dark curls. “Uh oh.” She searched Tia down and handed Dawn over. “It looks like your adoring mother will have the pleasure of changing you.”
Tia made a face. “Aunty duties will resume tomorrow morning. Be prepared.”
“I’ve never changed a diaper in my life.�
�
“Never too late to learn.”
Kate shook her head, but she kept right on grinning. Her face actually hurt from all the smiling. The best part of it, was that it was absolutely real. She’d missed her sister. She’d even missed Jack. She loved being away, seeing foreign places, eating new food and trying new things, but there was something about being home, the comfort of it, that she’d never understood before.
She was downstairs in the kitchen, raiding the fridge, when Jack caught up with her. She closed the door and found him there and nearly jumped right out of her socks.
“Holy shit, Jack. What the fuck!” She guiltily lowered the carton of OJ that she’d been about to take a sip from without a glass.
He opened the cupboard door and passed her one. His strange gray eyes cut into her. He passed over the glass and watched as she poured the juice.
“Okay. Seriously. Are you going to tell me why you’re looking at me like that or are you going to keep staring at me and creeping me the fuck out?” She smiled a little, to soften her words.
“I have something for you, but I need to know if you want it or not.”
Kate froze. She sucked in a breath and nearly dropped the glass of juice. Her fingers went numb and Jack reached out, calmly taking it from her before it slid out. He set it down on the counter. His hand dipped into his pocket and he produced a piece of paper, folded in half, then again, and one more time.
Kate’s hands trembled. She kept them at her sides, afraid to take what he offered. Her eyes met his and there was a softness there that she hadn’t seen before. A friendly, sad, guilty kind of look.
“What is it?” she rasped, even though she already knew.
“I have friends too. Contacts. It took me a while, but I finally found out what I needed to know.”
That seed of hope inside of her didn’t know what to do with itself. It didn’t know whether to push through her half-healed heart towards the sunlight, grow and sprout and flower, or whether it should stay hidden away, protected.
Lonely Rider - The Box Set: A Motorcycle Club Romance - The Complete Series Page 38
