A Special Man

by Billie Green

  "I...I don't think Danny understood what was happening," Amanda said, unable to forget the slight tremble. "So don't worry about him." Raising her gaze from the ground, Amanda was startled to see the sheen of tears in the girl's eyes. "Truly, Virgie. He still thinks you're wonderful."

  Virgie glanced away. "What do you expect from a loonie? What in hell does he know?" She met Amanda's eyes. "Don't you think I know what I am? Do you think I like it? Don't you know that I'm as sick of the word 'Nympho' as Danny is of 'Loonie'? Hell, I'm not even a nymphomaniac, but that doesn't make any difference to people who like labels." She threw down the cigarette and crushed it viciously with the heel of her boot. "It's a handy little word that people like to throw around. Nymphomania is a rare biological disorder. I'm an addict. I'm addicted to sex the way Peter is to drugs and the way some people are to alcohol."

  She leaned against a tree and for a while was silent. When she began to speak, her voice had a curious dead quality.

  "I can remember when I would do anything for a fix—anything. Men were like Popsicles. If one was good, then the whole box was better. I would scheme and lie and do anything to get it. Then when it was over I would look at the man beside me—God! some of them you wouldn't believe—and I would feel like throwing up. Then the black, sick emptiness would come back and fill me up. I would feel the weight of it in my chest and in my stomach. Then I would get out of bed and start planning where I could find the next man. Maybe the next one would keep it away a little longer." She closed her eyes tightly. "I thought I had it under control, but sometimes—" She broke off abruptly.

  "Virgie," Amanda whispered hoarsely. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry. You must have been through hell."

  "Yes, poor, poor little Virgie."

  Both women swung around. Peter sat on the grass a few feet away from them. Unfolding, he stood agilely and dusted the grass from his jeans as he walked closer.

  "You really like people feeling sorry for you, don't you?" he said, staring at Virgie as though she were a specimen in a jar. "Do you think you're the only one in the world who has done things they are ashamed of? Did you make the mistake of thinking I was in the polite circle of designer drugs... 'I'm doing Ecstasy and you're shirt is so blue'... is that what you thought? Well, it wasn't that way. I can tell you how every illegal drug will affect you. Believe me, none of them are nice. Your rap sounds tame compared to some of the stuff I've done and seen. You said you cheat and lie. Did you ever steal? From your own grandparents? Two old people who never hurt a soul in their lives." He laughed harshly. "Don't give me all this poor Virgie bull."

  Virgie's face was mottled and unattractive in her anger. "Who in hell do you think you are?" she rasped out. "Did I ask for your pity? Did I even ask for your opinion? You can take your theories and shove them up your ass. When you're on drugs, you're physically addicted. You've got a nice comfortable safety net to fall back on. You didn't do it. The drugs did. Don't tell me I shouldn't feel the way I feel because you don't know anything about it."

  "Feel all you want to feel," he said, throwing out an arm vehemently. "But at least admit that, problems notwithstanding, Virgie DeVries, deep down, is a nice person. Allow yourself to be nice, Virgie."

  She made a sound in her throat. Holding her gaze, he stepped closer to her. "Virgie, damn it, I don't care what your father has told you. His halo has slipped down on his fat head and is constricting his brain."

  She laughed, an abrupt, reluctant sound.

  Peter smiled. "Forget him. Don't try to be hard. You can't be. It's against your nature."

  Again tears shone in her eyes. She turned away sharply. "You're beginning to sound just as preachy as him. Don't waste your time." Her voice broke on the last word and she strode quickly away.

  Amanda watched as Peter caught up with her. She heard them shouting. Vile words poured out of Virgie, but Peter matched her word for word as though it were some kind of contest. When she tried to walk away from him again, he caught her arm, and suddenly Virgie was leaning against him, crying in harsh, ugly sobs.

  Amanda walked slowly away. They didn't need intruders. She had the feeling that Virgie would be all right. And Peter, too. It was only slightly satisfying to know that something would turn out right.

  Amanda didn't stop walking. She walked and walked, knowing that she had by now missed breakfast. After endless steps she came to another bridge, wider than the other to accommodate horses. Looking down at the small stream, she barely heard the sound it made as it ran over the rocks.

  Suddenly, near the edge of the stream, she saw a stone, round and smooth and streaked with deep purple. Danny would like it, she thought, a smile tugging at her lips. He would think it was a miracle.

  Shaking her head, she sighed. There was no way she could stop thinking about him. She walked off the bridge and scrambled down the steep slope. It couldn't hurt just to give him a rock, she told herself defensively.

  Picking up the smooth stone, she shook the water off and slid it into her pocket, then sat beneath the bridge in the shadows. It was cool and peaceful beside the stream. Maybe here she could decide what to do.

  She must have been half-asleep when she first heard the voices. She didn't hear individual words, just the murmur of voices in the distance. They drew closer, and she heard the footsteps on the bridge above her. Whoever it was wouldn't be able to see her, she thought in relief. Virgie had been one encounter too many.

  Pulling back into the shadows, she leaned her head against the wooden support.

  "...been seven months, for God's sake. Isn't there any way to speed this thing up? You never told me it would last so long."

  Amanda hated being put in the position of eavesdropper. But although she tried to tune out the words, the man's voice came to her clearly in her hiding place. He sounded nervous and irritated.

  "You're wrong. I told you that in order for this to work you would have to turn the complete process over to me. You're too impatient. That's a mistake."

  Amanda identified the second voice immediately. It was Ted's. He was speaking in that stilted, professional tone he used when discussing a patient. The other man was obviously worried about one of Greenleigh's guests, but Ted's words were not in the least sympathetic. Maybe the doctor's reputation eliminated the need for a winning bedside manner.

  "If you don't trust me and my methods," Ted continued, "I can turn over the patient to you right now"

  "You know damn well that's impossible." The stranger inhaled roughly. "Okay, maybe I'm pushing things. I know it's all worth it, but sometimes I wonder if it's ever going to work out."

  "You came to me because I'm the best." Ted laughed softly. "Considering the money you're paying for this, I would think you would have a little more confidence in my work. If you have to concentrate on something, concentrate on what the future will be like when the treatment is complete. That should keep you busy for a while."

  They were across the bridge now, and Amanda couldn't hear them so clearly. She was able to shut out the words, but from the rumble of voices, she knew when they turned from the bridle path and began to walk beside the stream. Amanda moved farther into the shadows. She saw the stranger clearly now and wondered which of the patients belonged to him. It was obviously one of the people in Danny's wing.

  He was young and attractive with brown, curly hair. One curl hung slightly askew on his forehead. It looked artificial, as though someone had told him it gave him a cute, boyish look. But it was his eyebrows that were his most outstanding feature. They were heavy but curiously pale compared to his hair.

  She frowned. There was something about him that struck a chord. She was almost sure she had seen him before. It always bothered her to recognize someone without being able to place him. He was probably on television, she decided finally. Greenleigh seemed to attract an inordinate number of people in show business. Maybe he was one of those enthusiastic used-car salesmen that one sees constantly on television but never pays attention to.

  Sudd
enly the two men separated. Ted walked toward Greenleigh, but the stranger turned back toward the woods. Amanda couldn't think of anything in that direction, but decided he probably needed to walk and think, as she had.

  When they were both out of sight, Amanda stood and climbed up the bank. Frowning slightly, it suddenly occurred to her that Danny never had visitors. Amanda had been at Greenleigh Acres for over a month, and not-one person had been to see him in all that time.

  Glancing at her watch, she caught her breath and quickened her steps. She was ten minutes late already. By the time she reached her office, Amanda was out of breath. She swung the door open, then stopped abruptly.

  Ginny and Paul stood in the center of her office, their voices low, their faces contorted in anger. When they realized she was there, Paul swung past her and out the door.

  "What happened?" Amanda asked quietly.

  "Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Ginny said, her voice harsh. "Just the same old thing. If he would just tell the truth, then we could go on from there. But he keeps telling the same lie."

  "About what?"

  Ginny clenched her fists and walked to the window. "Amanda, I saw him kissing Leah. I didn't imagine it."

  "Today?" Amanda asked in disbelief.

  "No, two months ago. And he is trying to tell me that he didn't have anything to do with it." She laughed roughly. "He was a poor, innocent victim."

  "Knowing Leah, I don't find that hard to believe," Amanda said dryly.

  "Oh, sure. She forced herself on him." The nurse shook her head. "Hell, I knew it would happen sooner or later. He's handsome and intelligent and sensitive. What does he want with a loser like me? Fifteen pounds overweight and hair like something out of a Japanese horror movie. I just wish he hadn't made me think he loved me."

  Amanda sat at her desk, considering her friend. Ginny had obviously set herself up. She had gone into the affair with Paul expecting it to fall apart. When she had seen him kissing Leah it had only confirmed what she already believed.

  "Give me a break, Ginny," Amanda said, her voice heavy with sarcasm. When the nurse swung around, she said, "No, sit down and be quiet. You've got things that Leah could never have. But you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself to see it. You've got warmth and humanity. She has cold perfection. Men are just scalps to Leah. You said Paul was intelligent; well, he's too intelligent to fall for a phony."

  Ginny moved closer, a bewildered look on her face. "Leah likes causing trouble," Amanda continued. She thought of the blonde touching Danny, and her features became grim. "I've a good mind to do something drastic to her pretty face next time I see her.''

  Sinking to the couch, Ginny said, "I want to believe him. But how can I? It's perfectly reasonable that he should be attracted to her."

  "It's not. It's stupid. And you're stupid to let that woman come between you. Have you ever thought that you're reacting exactly the way she wants you to? Why give her that satisfaction?"

  She could see Ginny's mind working, the gears turning slowly. "You're right," the nurse said at last. "I've seen her smirking. I don't think she even likes Paul all that much. She just didn't want me to have him. When Delores's friend came to visit yesterday, and I took him out to the pool, Leah watched me with that narrow-eyed stare that will make cold chills run down your back. She's just waiting for me to crack. By God, she won't see it."

  Amanda chuckled. "That's the stuff." She was silent for a moment, a frown twisting her lips. "Speaking of visitors, Ginny, does Danny get many?"

  "None," she said, shaking her head. "Not one in all the time he's been with—" Ginny broke off, her eyes widening in horror. "Danny!" she gasped. "I forgot his medication! Paul and I—"

  Amanda didn't give her time to finish. Her heart began to pound, and she was on her feet before the nurse could pull herself together. Within seconds she was out the door with Ginny close behind.

  They heard the shouts before they reached his room. When they rushed in, Tom Dicks and another man were trying to hold Danny down, trying and failing.

  Amanda couldn't believe it. They had told her he would become violent, but it hadn't seemed possible. Not her Danny. Not her parfait gentil knight.

  Ginny went immediately to the phone to call for help, leaving Amanda standing helplessly just inside the door. She couldn't stand to see him like this. She had to do something to help.

  She moved toward him. "Danny, it's Mandy," she said, her voice soothing. "I'm here now. You're okay. Everything will be all right now."

  "Don't get too close, Miss," the guard yelled.

  But it was too late. Before either of the men could prevent it, Danny lashed out and struck her across the chest, knocking her back against the bed. She felt a sharp pain in her side as she fell in a heap to the floor.

  At that moment three men rushed into the bedroom. The five men together held Danny down on the bed while Ginny gave him his injection. Amanda moved out of the way and watched it all in tense silence.

  Almost immediately Danny subsided, his breathing hard, his eyes closed. Ginny spoke quietly to the guards. Then when all the men except Tom had gone, she turned to Amanda.

  "Are you all right?" she asked.

  Amanda nodded slowly. "I'm fine. It was stupid of me to think I could help him," she said, forcing her voice to sound calm.

  But Amanda was anything but calm. She had lied to Ginny. She wasn't all right, and she didn't know if she would ever be all right again. When Danny struck out at her she had seen something in his eyes that she would never forget. She had seen a cold, deep fury, and unbelievably, she had seen terror.

  Slowly she stood. As she drew near him, he turned his head. Suddenly a small smile twisted his strong lips. "Mandy," he said softly. "Your hair is mussed. I like it."

  Amanda almost cried. Murmuring an excuse, she quickly left his room and made her way back to her office.

  She was too involved with him, she told herself over and over again as she rocked back and forth in the leather chair. It had to change. And it had to change now. She couldn't take any more. Her nerves were stretched to the breaking point. If things continued the way they were, she would explode in sheer excess of emotion.

  All morning she worked like a woman possessed, trying to keep her mind off Mm. But every few minutes, she glanced at the wall clock. Their usual time together came and went, and the minutes slowed.

  Twenty minutes after she should have met Danny, the door to her office opened, and Ted walked in. Amanda put aside her pencil with a sigh. She found she liked the famous Dr. Sutherland less and less every day, but anything was better than being alone with her thoughts.

  "I'm sorry our evening was cut short," he said, his smile showing just the right mixture of charm and regret.

  Amanda glanced at him quizzically. She had thought their evening was over when they left his apartment.

  "Of course people would have talked if you had stayed at my place." Sitting on the edge of her desk, he picked up her hand. "But there's a small room in the basement where no one would have found us."

  Oh, great, she thought wearily. A lecherous boss was all she needed now. Why couldn't everyone leave her alone so that she could go quietly insane?

  As she watched in reluctant fascination, he lifted her hand to his mouth. He didn't so much kiss it as wrap his lips around her knuckles. She had seen the look in his eyes before, and it had always spelled trouble.

  Standing abruptly, she moved away from the desk. "I've never seen the basement. Ginny says your lab is really something."

  "How would you like to see it tonight?" he asked, slowly stalking her.

  "That would be nice, but I'm afraid I've made plans for tonight." Every step backward she took was matched by one forward from Ted.

  This is ridiculous, she told herself as her back met the wall. It was something out of a French farce, and never had she been less in the mood for a farce.

  "Don't you know why I hired you, Amanda?" he said softly, his fingers stroking her hair. "That
first day I saw you, I could tell you were just as attracted to me as I was to you. It was unfortunate that I had to leave for England so soon after you arrived."

  He seemed to take it for granted that she was willing, Amanda thought, staring at him curiously. He was probably used to women jumping enthusiastically into his bed. Odds were he didn't even have to ask them.

  But not Amanda, never Amanda, she told herself in determination. It was an awkward position to be in. She couldn't bear to leave Greenleigh now. But as he pressed his lower body against her, she felt that the choice had been taken out of her hands.

  Keep cool, she told herself, fighting the urge to kick him. There had to be a way out of this, a way that would let her keep her job and her virtue.

  Suddenly, amazingly, Ted was jerked away from her. Blinking rapidly, she caught her breath in surprise. Danny was beside her, holding Ted by the scruff of the neck so that only the tips of his handmade Italian shoes touched the floor.

  "You're late," Danny said calmly. "We were going for a walk."

  Her lips twitched. "Yes, you're right," she said, the words choked. "We'll go right now. But first I'd like you to put Dr. Sutherland down—he's beginning to turn purple." She smiled up into Danny's peaceful eyes. "It clashes with his tie."

  Danny slanted a look at Ted, then slowly lowered him to the floor. Taking Amanda's arm, he led the way to the door. Behind them, Amanda could hear Ted gasping for breath.

  When they walked out a side door into the open air, she laughed, softly at first, then louder with exhilaration as they ran toward the woods. They didn't stop until they reached their spot by the stream. Then they threw themselves on the grass, catching their breath.

  Danny glanced at her, smiling. "I like to hear you laugh. Maybe I should pick the doctor up everyday."

  "That's not a bad idea," she said, drawing in a calming breath. "No, I'm just teasing. You remember what I told you about your strength. It wasn't nice to make the doctor look like a fool." A bigger fool, she added silently.