Lesbian: A Lesbian Life Worth Repairing

by Astrid Seguin

  "Of course! We should be out there already. Come on, people, move. Out, out, out!"

  She made shooing motions at the remains of the bound army, and everyone creaked and groaned into a motion much more rapid and natural looking than the measured tread of marching. The troll set his big drum down before lumbering towards the ramp outward. Atothka floated behind Lorrine and Kama as they followed the thundering horde outside, an expression of rapture on his amorphous face.

  "I guess the troll isn't a ghost, after all," Kama said to Lorrine, quietly. "I'd thought he was, given how nearly transparent he is."

  "Transparent with hunger, I guess," Lorrine replied, shaking her head. "I never suspected so many people of the elder races survived, and so close to Eirian!"

  "And just think, the djinn sounded like there were even more people somewhere. I'd love to see them." She glanced over her shoulder. Atothka clearly wasn't paying any attention whatsoever to their words, so she continued speaking. "So what in all hells are we supposed to do with this freakish situation?"

  "I have no idea," Lorrine shook her head. "On the good side, thanks to ancestors you never knew you had, you now have a lovely town to call your own. You need never look for a place to live, if you can handle life underground."

  "We. We, Lorrine. I'm not planning on living anywhere you won't stay with me."

  Lorrine smiled at her, an expression nearly brilliant enough to light the dark pathway out.

  "It might be worth staying here, then," Lorrine said. "I'm sure if you put the word out that this place is open once again, people will come. I know for sure some historians would go crazy to get their hands on this perfectly preserved place."

  "That's. . . such a foreign concept, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it. I mean, really, me? A Queen, of an underground queendom? Ridiculous. I'm a needlewoman, and an instructor. And yet. . . I'd like to explore a bit, I think. See how people lived here. Find out if they left anything behind. And see if there's any clues about what they ate down here."

  "Fine. I'll stay with you pretty much anywhere. After all, I've already lived underground, in Karr'at. It's not nearly as bad as you might think, as long as no one traps you inside."

  Even in the poor lighting of the tunnel, Kama's face paled visibly. "Oh! What a dreadful thought. Fine. We'll stay for a bit. But I'll get the troll, or anyone, really, to rip that door right out. It might be a good thing to have a door, but definitely not one that can be barred from the outside."

  "Now that's a plan. Tell me, Queen Kama, when did you become a mage?"

  "You asked that already, and I told you, later. I mean that. Look, here's the door. Let's go out and see how these glim eat sunshine."

  Not very actively, as it turned out. They stood in the afternoon sunlight, gleaming and shooting sparks off their crystalline skins, and shone. Nothing else. They turned their faces to the light, arms and legs slightly spread, eyes closed, with the sunlight condensing into a glowing ball in their middles.

  "I'd say it's pretty obvious these people have nothing to do with ice," Lorrine remarked, as the glim soaked up the sun. "Wonder how they got that name?"

  "Probably based on surface appearance," Kama shrugged. "Look, the troll's happy now, too. Never thought I'd feel sorry for a rock troll."

  "Me either."

  Atothka came to join them, looking rather drunk from the effects of eating after so long going without. Neither human felt a loss from whatever parts of their essences he'd drained, so both were happy to see him looking so much better.

  "Atothka, are all of you people immortal?"

  "Nearly so," the djinn nodded. "Our lifespans cover many millennia, not the paltry few decades you humans are allotted. We will age and die eventually, but barring accidents and unforeseen circumstances, not for a long, long time yet."

  "And what do you advise, Atothka?" Kama asked. "What do you think I should do with you people, and the underground queendom you seek to grant me?"

  "It is not I that grants you anything," Atothka corrected. "Rather, your heritage allows you to take up the rule your ancestors abandoned."

  "What happened, anyway?" Lorrine asked, part of her noting that the troll had just swallowed an entire bush in one gulp. "Where did all the people go?"

  "At the war's end, when the Armonidae had lost the battles and been driven into the sanctuary of the underground cave system, they defied the victors by creating a thriving new society, engaged in trade of magical services. When plague swept through the surface world, the Lake People, as they were known by then, sealed themselves in behind an iron door. But someone unknown came and dropped a spellbound bar into place outside, barring the door from ever opening again. A few adventurous souls escaped, via a dangerous route that many did not survive, and the ones who remained died of plague and starvation, once the supplies ran out. Because, for whatever reason, none of those who escaped cared to unbar the door."

  "Simply dreadful!" Kama shivered a bit. "But while that satisfies my curiosity, it doesn't answer my question. What is your advice to me?"

  "I am uncertain in my own course, and therefore not very well suited to advise you on the future, Queen."

  "Please, just call me Kama. I'm not too certain I will take up this title laid upon me."

  "Why not?" Lorrine asked. "I think you'd make a good Queen."

  "I've no training to rule people! I'm a needlewoman, as well you know."

  "So send out the word that artisans and craftspeople are welcome. Nothing says you have to be a traditional Queen. It's enough, I would think, to have a background in teaching, as you do. You're used to leading a class of artistic folk, why not a community? Nobody says you've got to be like the crazed rulers of the Seven Kingdoms."

  "Lorrine. . . " Kama sighed. "Look, it's easy for you to say such things. Nobody's laying some unexpected royal title on you, after all."

  "Nah, my people already did that. Now everyone just calls me a paladin."

  "What? What about your people?"

  Lorrine gave her a lopsided grin. "Descendant of royalty, that's me. I'm about as purebred of a Dargasi princess as you can get."

  "You're joking."

  "Not a bit!"

  Kama stared at her lover for a very long moment, but saw no signs, or even tiny little hints, of deception.

  "You're a princess?" she said finally, rather hesitant. "You, Lorra? The woman who stole Magister Barrett's wig?"

  Lorrine laughed. "Yes. Unlikely though it seems, yes. My blood's as royal as it comes. Just please, never tell my grandmother about that incident! I rather doubt it fits in with her notions of propriety."

  "Huh. Well. I'll think about it, okay? While we look around, see what we can learn of this place. Maybe we could found a school."

  "Or a temple," Lorrine said. "There are, after all, some ready-made worshipers."

  Kama laughed. "All of whom look quite a bit happier now, poor things. Let's just take this one step at a time, okay? Stay here a bit, see what happens."

  "Sounds good to me."

  "And to me," the djinn said unexpectedly. "Although the decision feels a touch hasty, I think I, too, will stay here with you folk as you decide the future of this place. There is much here worthy of saving, and you appear unlikely to bind me to your service against my will. So I will stay, and I will continue to lead your army of volunteers. If you wish to know my credentials, I led a host of men and elder races combined through the Great War."

  "Really! Then maybe you can tell me something, Atothka." Lorrine all but pounced on the djinn's words. "Although royal by birth, I'm still an outsider to the Dargasi people, and no one would tell me what in all hells they're guarding. It was like pulling teeth with my bare hands to get even the information that Karr'at was built to protect something."

  "Of course, I can tell you that. It was common knowledge among all survivors. The mountain of Karr'at was raised in a night, to cover over the prison of the Great Djinn."

  "Holy goddess! I never guessed!"

/>   "A charge was laid upon a tribe of Seekers, to give up their wandering ways and become the Guardians, just as later happened to their distant kin in the Northlands."

  "Northlands," Kama said. "Do you mean Larantyne?"

  "Indeed. The Seekers make excellent Guardians, north and south. They take their duties very seriously."

  "Indeed they do," Lorrine agreed. "Seekers. Really."

  "Any more surprises for us this day, Atothka?"

  The djinn shook his head. "No, my Queen. Kama. We have covered enough shocking territory. I have more mundane revelations for you, though, if you wish to know where human food might be obtained."

  It turned out that the Lake People had kept farms, of a sort, out here on the surface. Little more than patches of wild vegetation survived now, but the two women found enough variety of vegetables and herbs right at the point of harvest to warrant staying on for the entire winter.

  "So let's see if I've got this right," Lorrine said, tugging a carrot free from the ground. "You people were left to starve, by evil folk with no care for anyone but themselves, and yet you still kept track of where these people grew their own food?"

  "Indeed," Atothka said. "I do not think they intentionally left us bound and helpless, so rest your heart on that account. Our keeper, the holder of our covenant, died abruptly from the mortal plague, leaving us locked in a side reality with little hope of escape. And then, when we saw a descendant of the royal house here locked into battle with the flock of ashantri, we held ready. We were bound not to interfere, because of the complex nature of the interactions between the trap spell laid upon us and our fealty to Biao Tanu."

  "Wait," Lorrine interrupted, suddenly looking very hawklike in the setting sun. "Did you ever ask Biao Tanu for protection? Or is the mark you all bear just a side effect of worship?"

  "Yes," Atothka nodded. "It comes with the acceptance of the faith. How is it you do not know this, paladin?"

  "Because I came to Biao Tanu utterly ignorant of her, seeking release from a geas and protection from future enchantments."

  "It is a sad day that one of the most ancient divinities in this natural world is so little known."

  "I know little of any deity," Lorrine assured him. "Probably other people still know her just fine."

  "Questions of theology aside, Lorrine, we should get back underground and make some of this stuff into a meal. And we need to find a place to sleep tonight. I'm assuming the plague, whatever it was, has succumbed to time, and is no longer viable."

  "I hope it isn't! By the holies, I hadn't even considered plague still living in those houses!"

  The troll, Gumpa, approached, looking far more solid than he had an hour or so ago.

  "Go inside," he groaned at them. "Darkness comes. Not safe."

  "Yes, we'd just decided that," Kama assured him. She realized, looking at the shape of his mouth out in the dying sunlight, that he probably spoke as he did out of physical necessity, rather than lack of intelligence. His mouth looked great for eating plants, but not very flexible, and speaking like a human definitely required a flexible mouth. Plants! When everybody thought trolls ate babies.

  The glim started moving again, each one slowly stretching, then ambling back to the cave entrance. Lorrine watched one of them go inside, past the bar on the ground, and noted that the crystalline being glowed somewhat yellowish now with its middle full of sunshine. Then she looked back at the bar, and thought about it dropping into place.

  "Um, Gumpa? Can you pick up that heavy bar and take it inside with us? I don't want to think about someone locking us inside."

  "Yes."

  "Good idea," Kama whispered, watching the troll stump his way over to the bar. "Well, then, let's get inside. There's not much time before the sun's gone, after all."

  Laketown was just as beautiful as they'd left it, with its elegant construction and elaborate embellishments. Kama chose a place to sleep, in a modest home near the shore, not in the massive pile of a palace her ancestors must have used. Inside, they found nothing, just walls and floors. But that reassured them both, because plague seemed less likely to survive in an empty house than in, say, spell-preserved bedding. Kama dismissed her attendant cloud of ashantri, telling them she'd call if she needed them. They fluttered off and found perches scattered throughout the house, clinging to walls and windowsills, a watchful army of glimmering squares.

  "So," Lorrine said, after they'd eaten their dinner of dried meat and fresh vegetables, washed down with lake water that tasted strongly of minerals, "will you tell me about the magic thing now?"

  Kama sighed. "I suppose. There's not really any reason not to, it's just an uncomfortable subject. You see, after you left with Derfek, I fell into a truly deadly depression. I gave up on life."

  Lorrine gasped, hand to her lips, then found a way to gather Kama into her arms as the woman continued speaking.

  "I quit eating. I barely drank anything. I couldn't function. In short, I was a wreck, living out on the streets. I used to sleep in an alley. It was the worst time of my life. I'd never experienced anything so dreadful as the pit losing you threw me into. And that's how I was when Mistress Bancheck found me and hauled me off to the school, mostly dead. And she told me to get myself up into the school, and make something of myself before I died, because no woman is worth that. Then she let go of me and I fell down on the steps. That's when it happened. I could feel myself dying. It was like the world was fading in and out, and I couldn't move, and I almost didn't care anymore. But I got scared, and found some strength somewhere, and got moving again. As it happened, that strength came from a completely blocked off and ignored mage talent."

  Lorrine held her closer, kissed her forehead.

  "So when I got a little better, I met the Mother, and she sensed the talent. She told me it's not like a normal mage talent. No, I'm something weird, something tremendously powerful and invariably evil in her experience. She called me a Stormrider, a mage with the potential for mastery over every element other than earth. And when the power came upon me, I could understand why Stormriders could turn to evil, for it seems strongest when fed by negative emotions. It does not have to be evil, of course. It's just an ability. But evil is seductive, and keeping on the side of the Light is. . . rather challenging, some days."

  "Why Stormrider?"

  "I asked that very same question. The Mother told me it's part of my native ability to ride storms, to. . . um, I think spirit-project is the closest I can come to describing it. I haven't tried it yet, because my control isn't all that good, but I will. It sounds terrifically exciting, riding a storm."

  "Wow. That's some talent." Lorrine gave Kama a final squeeze, then released her, stretching for the packs. "I'm going to make up our bed. Because hearing how close I came to losing you for good is enough to make me want to hold you forever. And I can't do that sitting on the floor, with a kink in my back and my ass going numb."

  Kama laughed, and helped arrange the bedroll. Then she stripped off her clothing in an overtly sensual manner, lit by the faithful glowsticks that created intriguing patches of light and dark on her fair skin.

  "If you want me, then come get me, my own desert rose."

  Lorrine smiled, wiggled out of her own clothing with much efficiency and no sensuality, and slid into Kama's arms with the joyful feeling of coming home.

  Meet The Author

  Astrid.p.seguin@gmail.com