The Fragile Ordinary

by Samantha Young

  “No’ in the mood for sharing the night, King?”

  “Not tonight. Later.”

  It was only when their laughter was a distant noise that I let myself relax marginally.

  “Like I said, I want this assignment over with. Think we can get it finished up if you come here after school tomorrow?”

  The thought of traversing his neighborhood again made me anxious, but I wanted the presentation finished, too. “Possibly. We’ll need more than an hour. But if we get the work done I can type it up, and then we could get together to practice it before our talk date.”

  “Fine. Can you come here straight after school? That way I can walk you here. Then get one of your parents to pick you up?”

  Right. Like that would happen. “They’re busy. I can walk.”

  He was silent a moment. “I’ll walk you.”

  “You don’t—”

  “You want to be alone, passing guys like that?” he interrupted me, sounding snarky.

  I shot him a look of annoyance. “Fine, you can walk me.”

  For some reason that made him smile.

  THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG

  8

  Those are my words, my thoughts, my soul,

  You took them from me without apology.

  So why do I want to forgive what you stole,

  And hope that you like my ideology?

  —CC

  It took me a while to fall asleep that night. The walk with Tobias had been mostly silent, the quiet between us broken only by passing traffic and my murmurings of “It’s this way” and “We need to cross here.”

  He’d insisted on walking me right to my door, and he’d stared at my town house for so long that I wished I knew him better so I could work out what his expression meant. Eventually, he’d looked at me and shrugged. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then he’d started to walk down my garden path.

  “Uh...can you find your way back okay?”

  Tobias glanced over his shoulder. “I’m good.” He pushed open the garden gate.

  “Uh...well...”

  He looked back at me again, and this time I did recognize his expression. Impatience.

  “Thank you for walking me home.”

  The impatience melted out of his features and his gaze dropped to my feet before it moved up my body to my face in a way that made my skin prickle. Something softened in his expression.

  “You’re welcome, Comet.”

  I hadn’t been able to get the sound of his voice saying You’re welcome, Comet out of my head as I lay in my bed. It seemed totally unfair that the first boy in real life to make my cheeks warm and my belly fizzle would have to be Tobias King.

  Someone so totally opposite me it wasn’t even funny.

  And now I had to spend even more time with him.

  I became so preoccupied with the thought of meeting Tobias after school and walking to Stevie’s and his flat with him, and then working in close proximity in their bedroom again, I was utterly useless as a friend. I barely had any recollection of anything Vicki or Steph said to me all day, and it became clear to them why when we walked out of school at the end of the day and I told them I had to wait for Tobias.

  “So that’s why you’ve been so distracted all day,” Steph said, sounding put out. “You get to spend the afternoon in Tobias King’s bedroom.”

  My God, was she jealous?

  It sounded like she might be a little envious.

  “Oh, Comet, please don’t tell me you like him,” Vicki said, not sounding jealous at all, but very concerned.

  “I don’t,” I lied.

  “Good. Because he’s a bad boy. And you’re...”

  “Comet,” Steph supplied, like that explained everything.

  Ugh. It did explain everything.

  Total opposites.

  “Well, I don’t. Now go, before he thinks we’re standing here gossiping about him.”

  Steph laughed and threaded her arm through Vicki’s to lead her away. I gave Vicki a reassuring smile and a wave when she looked over her shoulder at me, still plainly concerned.

  “Ready?”

  I almost jumped out of my shoes as I spun around to find Tobias towering over me. He was alone.

  Hmm.

  I’d been partly nervous about meeting him to walk him to his flat because I’d suspected Stevie would be joining us. Relief moved through me. “No Stevie?”

  Tobias’s brows drew together. “No. Why would there be?”

  I shrugged, confused by his somewhat belligerent response. “You live together.”

  “He skipped out after lunch.”

  Of course he had. I turned away so Tobias wouldn’t see me roll my eyes. “I suppose we better go then.”

  If I’d thought last night’s walk was quiet, this one was positively dead. We said not a word to one another. I was going to start up conversation, attempt to not be socially awkward, but Tobias seemed lost in his thoughts and his silence made me lose my nerve.

  “You’re not afraid of me, are you?” He spoke up suddenly, only a street away from the flat.

  The question surprised me so much my tongue loosened. “What? Why would you think that?”

  “The way you reacted when Mr. Stone made me sit next to you. Your hands were shaking yesterday. You were nervous at Stevie’s flat. The way you’re acting now.”

  “It’s not that I’m afraid of you.”

  “So you’re just shy as shit?”

  What a charming adjective. I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe.”

  Tobias chuckled. “You don’t have to be shy around me. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually Satan.”

  “No one thinks you’re Satan.” I shook my head. “Just...maybe not the kind of boy who would talk to a girl like me. I get that.” I wanted to assure him that I knew we were just presentation partners and not actually friends. “So let’s just get to your place and get our work done.”

  “First...go back. The part about me being a guy who wouldn’t talk to a girl like you. Explain.”

  I frowned at the demand. “I’m academic. I like school. You...you may be smart, but clearly you don’t like school.”

  “I can see where you might think that.” He nodded and then flashed me that boyish grin. “But maybe you’re wrong.”

  “Possibly.” I nodded. “I don’t really know anything about you.”

  “I don’t know anything about you either. Most girls are pretty talkative about themselves. You’re not. You’re kind of a mystery.”

  Tobias King thought I was a mystery.

  That made me laugh, and his eyes widened as he watched me, his mouth curling up at the corners in that way it was wont to do in lieu of an actual smile. “I’ve never seen you laugh before.”

  Did he think I was some emo, miserable teenager incapable of it? “It’s been known to happen once in a while.”

  This time he full-out grinned at my dry tone. “Apparently.”

  We turned onto his street and I watched the smile on his face drop as he took in the sight of the building he lived in. “You don’t like it here?” I guessed.

  He shrugged. “It’s somewhere to lay our heads, I guess. Mom is looking for a place.”

  I wanted to ask all the questions that had built up inside of me since yesterday, but a slight warmth had grown between us and I didn’t want it to dissipate because I was being nosy.

  When I followed Tobias into the flat, the first thing that assaulted my ears was the sound of cartoons, reminding me of Vicki’s house after school with Ben. As soon as the door slammed shut behind us we heard, “King, is that you?” just before a little boy threw himself out of the living room and hurried down the short hall to grin up at Tobias. He was about six or seven, as I’d suspected, a mini-me of Stevie, and he was hopping from on
e foot to the other like he had ants in his pants. “Yer home early. Where’s Stevie? Come play the Xbox with me!”

  “Kieran.” The blonde from the couch yesterday appeared in the doorway of the living room. She had dark circles under her eyes and a weary expression on her pretty face. “I told ye, yer cousin is working on a project with his friend from school.” Her gaze moved to Tobias and she gave him a fond smile. “Hi, darlin’.”

  “Carole.” Tobias gave her his lip curl. “This is Comet. Comet, this Stevie’s mom, Carole.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  She smiled. “You, too.”

  “Comet,” Kieran suddenly said. “Cool name! Can I come sit with you and Comet?” he asked Tobias.

  “Sorry, buddy.” Tobias mussed his little cousin’s hair in affection. “We’ve got work to do. I’ll come find you after.”

  Kieran’s face crumpled with frustration. “But—”

  “Kieran, come watch yer cartoons and give Tobias and Comet some peace.”

  To my surprise Kieran, although pouting comically, did as he was told and disappeared into the living room with one last soulful look at us. Carole gave us another tired smile. “I’ll keep him occupied. Yer mum called. She’s working overtime.”

  Tobias barely acknowledged this. Instead he gave her a scowl along with a nod of his chin and turned to me. “You know where you’re going, right?” He gestured up the hall. “I’ll be there in a sec.”

  Realizing he wanted privacy with his cousin, I walked down the hall, giving her a shy smile before I disappeared around the corner. However, I hadn’t quite made it to the bedroom Tobias shared with Stevie when I heard him ask, “Did you see the doctor?”

  I froze, curiosity and, let’s face it, nosiness, getting the better of me.

  “I was working until two. I didnae have time before picking up Kieran from school.”

  “You told Mom you’d go.” He sounded frustrated.

  “As I told Lena, I’m fine. I’m just fighting off this flu.”

  “Mom said—”

  “While yer mum is at work, I’m the adult in charge of ye here. So stop worrying about me and go be a kid. Worry about yer schoolwork. Lena says yer grades are suffering, and if I find out it’s because Stevie is leading ye astray, I won’t be happy.”

  “I do what I want, not what anyone else wants.”

  “Then ye’ll only have yer own stupidity to blame when ye end up living in a flat like this, working at a job with crap pay and no future. Yer so smart, Tobias, smart enough to listen to me when my son won’t. Lena says ye enjoyed school back in the States. Pretending to not like it because my kid doesn’t like it is the opposite of smart.”

  “I don’t need a lecture, Carole.”

  “Don’t ye? Life is short, kid. Don’t waste it pretending to be something yer not.”

  I hurried into Stevie and Tobias’s room before I could hear Tobias’s response. I didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping. But I was intrigued about Tobias’s life even more than I had been the night before.

  When Tobias came into the room I was already settled on the bed with my notes spread out on his duvet. He kicked off his shoes and got on the bed, swiping his notes off his bedside table. He was quiet and broody again.

  “Kieran is cute,” I said, attempting to break the silence.

  His expression softened a little. “Yeah, he’s a funny kid.”

  “He seems to like you.”

  “What’s not to like?”

  I rolled my eyes, and this time Tobias chuckled. “Not so shy anymore, huh?”

  And just like that I blushed, making him laugh harder. Pretending to scowl, I stared ferociously at my notes, trying to remember where we’d left off the night before.

  “You’re cute when you blush.”

  My gaze flew up at that comment, my heart suddenly pounding. Tobias was staring intently at his notes, like he hadn’t just given me a compliment. A compliment that had the blood whooshing in my ears and flooding my cheeks. When he refused to meet my stare, I looked back down at the papers in front of me.

  “I think we’re on the fifth soliloquy, right?” he said, as if he hadn’t called me cute.

  Deciding it was best for my mental state to go along with the pretense, I cleared my throat. “Right.”

  As we worked, the easiness fled and it wasn’t because of Tobias’s offhand compliment. It was because of my reaction to it. Steph or Vicki would have said something coy or flirty back, and the compliment would have been forgotten as the conversation continued. But not me. I didn’t know how to react, and I overanalyzed and wondered if he really meant it or if he was messing with me. Then I started to think he really was messing with me and how mean that was!

  I exhausted myself trying to focus on our presentation and mentally berate Tobias at the same time.

  Almost two hours later my belly was growling in hunger when the bedroom door suddenly flew open and Stevie was there with an annoying smirk on his face. “I thought Mum was havin’ a laugh when she said ye were in here with Comet Caldwell.”

  Tobias scowled. “We’re working on stuff for English.”

  “Aye, very good.” Stevie sauntered over to me and smiled in his cocky, cheeky way. “Awright, Comet?”

  “Stevie,” I mumbled, looking down at my notes.

  “I thought you were out with Jimmy and the guys?” Tobias said.

  “Aye, I was. I got bored without ye, mate.”

  “That’s sweet,” Tobias teased. “But...kinda working here.”

  “I can see that.”

  I glanced up at the suggestive tone in Stevie’s words. But he was frowning, looking down at our notebooks and copies of Hamlet. “Maybe I can help? Anything is better than listening tae Forrester go on aboot that bird he tagged at the weekend.”

  Tobias chuckled. “Why not? But if you’re helping, you’re bringing us snacks.”

  “Munchie patrol.” Stevie rubbed his hands together gleefully. “On it.”

  The thought of having to hang out with Tobias and Stevie freaked me out. “Actually...we’re uh...we’re almost done here. I can type up what we have and then we can finish the rest at school.” Earlier, while Tobias was talking to Carole, I’d emptied my bag on the bed. Now I began shoving everything I thought was mine back into it.

  There was silence at my abrupt announcement, and although I was looking at them, I was pretty sure they were throwing each other bemused looks. Ignoring that suspicion, I stood up, still avoiding their gaze.

  “I’ll walk you home,” Tobias said, getting up quickly.

  “Oh no, I can walk it alone. It’s still light out.”

  “I’ll come with ye,” Stevie said.

  “No-no, it’s really okay.”

  When neither answered, I glanced up to find Tobias looking between Stevie and me with a crease between his brows. I glanced at Stevie. He was eyeing me, like he was trying to work out something about me.

  “Okay. See you.”

  I was almost at the front door when I heard the heavy footfalls behind me, and looked over my shoulder to see Tobias following me. He wore a no-nonsense expression.

  “I’m walking you at least to the High Street. No arguments.”

  Since I had a feeling he might stalk me all the way to Porty High Street, which was minutes from my house, I gave in.

  This time our walk was even quieter than the night before. And instead of hearing him say You’re welcome, Comet over and over in my head as I tried to fall asleep that night, I heard his voice on repeat telling me I was cute when I blushed.

  * * *

  I was nervous about going to school the next day for a different reason. Whereas yesterday I hadn’t wanted to spend more time with Tobias, now I was worried he was going to avoid me. He’d been really weird and distant while walking me home.

&nbs
p; What had I done?

  And why did I care?

  It turned out I had worse things to worry about than Tobias ignoring me. First, Assistant Rector Mr. Jenkins saw me in the halls and quietly asked me to return home at lunchtime to change out of my gold striped socks—the fascist. Second...well...the second thing was a doozy.

  Three days out of the week we had a seventh period. Thursday and Friday were everyone’s favorite days because we had only six periods and school ended fifty minutes earlier. Those fifty minutes were supposed to be filled with extracurricular activities and homework sessions. Can you guess how many pupils used it as such?

  Wednesday was already kind of rubbish for the mere fact that it was a Wednesday. Plus, I had two free periods after lunch but then English seventh period, so I couldn’t just go home. Instead I did all my homework in the library during my free periods. I didn’t mind it too much, because seventh period was English.

  That was...until the second thing hit.

  Tobias King.

  Not avoiding me.

  And it was so much more than just not avoiding me. It was the total opposite of not avoiding me.

  There were butterflies in my belly as I took my seat in English, ignoring Steph’s giggle and Vicki’s pointed look. Tobias wasn’t there yet, thank goodness. Steph would have teased me even more if she’d known his voice had kept me awake for a good part of the night.

  I was attempting to study Hamlet, waiting for everyone to filter into class, and pretending not to be aware when a shadow fell over me and the chair beside me scraped backward. This pretense would have continued if Tobias hadn’t settled into his seat and slapped a familiar notebook on top of the open pages of my copy of Hamlet.

  Confusion was my foremost emotion.

  “You left this at my place last night. I found it under the bed.”

  And then understanding dawned and with it...ultimate mortification. It must have fallen off the bed after I’d emptied my bag.

  The notebook was no ordinary notebook. It was by Paperblanks, made of sewn leather and dyed a gorgeous shade of teal. All my notebooks were Paperblanks. They were expensive but looked so beautiful together on my bookshelves that I didn’t mind the dent in my allowance.