Give Me Love

by Zoey Derrick

  Mikah and Vivienne nod as Red, and the guardians turn to leave. Neither one of them says anything for some time as they consider what comes next.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  The next morning the guardians arrive around 8:30. All three men are wearing black cargo pants and black hooded pullover sweatshirts. But what catches Vivienne’s attention the most is what’s attached to their legs. Strapped to Red’s and Andrew’s right thighs, and Connor’s left, are black guns.

  Mikah notices Vivienne’s unease. “Are those necessary?” he asks them.

  “They are.” Andrew steps forward and hands Mikah a bag. “Inside you will find pants, a sweatshirt and a pair of boots.”

  Mikah takes the bag from him. It weighs more than what pants, boots and a sweatshirt should weigh, and Mikah knows that there is a holster and gun inside for him. The gun doesn’t bother Mikah – he knows how to shoot; it’s just been a long time.

  “Why don’t you go change? We’re going to explain some things to Vivienne.”

  “I’d like to be here for that.”

  “No need, lad,” interjects Red. “We’re just going to discuss what she’s going to do and how she’s going to do it. Go change.”

  Mikah nods hesitantly, then looks to Vivienne and smiles. He heads into the bedroom just as Andrew starts talking to Viv.

  “Okay, we’re all going to walk out the front door toward the river. Once you’re on the riverside path we will lower your shields.”

  “Will I be able to notice the difference?”

  “Not likely, but you might. Here,” he says as he hands her a tiny black sphere that’s about the size of a blueberry. “That goes into your ear. You will be able to hear us, and we will be able to hear you if you talk. We will be walking with you, but you won’t be able to see us. You may, depending on your skills, be able to sense us with you.”

  “I’m pretty good at sensing Mikah,” she says, thinking about how sometimes she knows he’s there even when she can’t actually see him.

  “That should be enough then. Today we’re going to have Celeste walk with you.”

  Vivienne nods her understanding and looks at Celeste, who smiles back at her.

  As if to prove what she said about sensing Mikah, Vivienne turns to Andrew. “He’s behind me, isn’t he?”

  Andrew laughs. “Well done. Yes he is.”

  Vivienne turns to look. The sight of Mikah in the black pants and sweatshirt send her heart fluttering like crazy. He looks tough yet so normal. Then she notices that he, too, has a gun strapped to his thigh, and her excitement over seeing him turns to anxiety.

  “Are those really necessary? Will they even work against anything that might be coming after us?”

  “Actually, yes. They’re gold-tipped bullets. Though we’re not sure how effective they’ll be against the likes of Riley, they should be enough to at least slow him down.”

  Andrew’s confidence is comforting to Vivienne and even a little to Mikah.

  “Vivienne,” Andrew continues, “once you hit the river path we’re going to walk north, to your right, for about fifteen minutes and then turn around and come back toward the house.”

  “That’s it?” Mikah asks.

  “Yup, that’s it.”

  “What happens if someone shows up?” Vivienne’s voice is halting and Mikah can feel the fear that she’s feeling.

  “Unlikely, but should it happen, you’re Celeste’s first priority, even if it means transporting you to Elysium. If it is anyone other than Riley, Red can transport Mikah, and Connor and I can handle it. Better to keep the two of you safe.”

  Vivienne reaches for her jacket, which is hanging on the back of the stool at the breakfast bar, and Mikah notices her hand shaking. He doesn’t say anything as he walks up behind her.

  She leans into him. “I’m scared.”

  “Don’t be, sweetheart, you’ll be safe. You’ve seen these men in action already. You know what they’re capable of.”

  Mikah’s words calm her significantly, and he helps her into her jacket.

  “You’ll do great,” Mikah reassures her, despite his own reservations. He knows that he needs to be strong for her.

  She nods as she zips up her jacket, turning toward the line of men. “I’m ready,” she says, her voice surprisingly confident given the fear raging through her veins.

  Celeste grabs her own coat and goes to stand next to Vivienne.

  “Alright, let’s go,” Red says and leads the way.

  Once they reach the lobby Celeste and Vivienne take point. Vivienne takes great comfort in the fact that Mikah is close behind her. It makes it a little easier to walk out the door.

  Celeste leads them toward the river. It’s only a couple of blocks away, but there is not a whole lot between the condo and the river. The north side of the condo complex is paved walkways and manicured lawns, trees and bushes. Winter has left the trees bare, but the color of the evergreen bushes stands out against the brown grass. It hasn’t snowed much yet.

  As soon as Vivienne’s feet hit the asphalt of the river path she feels the strangest sensation, like a shimmer across her back. Andrew announces in her ear, “Shields are down.”

  As Vivienne and Celeste walk side by side Vivienne can feel the presence of the guardians and Mikah in her wings. “Are you surrounding us?” Vivienne whispers.

  “Yes. Why?”

  Each sensation in her back is a little bit different. She immediately knows Mikah’s because his is the warmest and softest, more like a caress than the other three spots. “Mikah is to my back and left. Celeste is next to me, obviously. But...”

  “Go on, Vivienne,” Red says. When he talks, a spot on her back stings and she is quick to determine that his voice, or whatever he is doing, is registering.

  “Ah, Red, you’re to my front right.”

  “Well done.” Connor’s voice is oddly comforting, though her back’s response to him is a little sharper.

  “Back right?” she says back to him.

  “Excellent, Vivienne,” Andrew says.

  “Front left,” she says. “But how can I feel you guys?”

  “Can you feel Celeste?” Andrew asks.

  “Not the way I feel you guys, but I can sense her, despite the fact that I can see her.”

  “You can feel us.”

  “Whoa. That tickles.” Her ear is filled with soft chuckles of the four men around her, and suddenly the sensations have all shifted. “You moved.”

  “We did. You can feel us because you’re in tune to us. When we lowered the shields you became more aware of the things around you. If you concentrate hard enough you may be able to feel more than us, but we will worry about that another day.”

  TWENTY-FIVE

  They finish their walk without incident, and then Mikah, Andrew, Red, and Connor all head downstairs to Vivienne’s condo to begin Mikah’s training. Vivienne isn’t sure what they will be doing and she doesn’t have time to dwell on it because Celeste opens a portal to Elysium and they both step through.

  Standing on the other side of the room are Seraphina and Zirah, both wearing white haltered pantsuits. Next to them, Vivienne feels self-conscious in her yoga pants and t-shirt.

  “Hello, Vivienne.” Zirah steps forward, then turns to Celeste. “Celeste, you may go.”

  Celeste doesn’t hesitate; she walks back out the door they just came through.

  “Are you ready to learn how to protect your guardians?” she asks Vivienne.

  “I’m ready, but I haven’t a clue what to do.”

  Seraphina steps forward. “That is why we are here. Fighting, in your condition, is not going to be your strongest skill, so we’re going to teach you how to heal and use some basic protection techniques.”

  “Okay,” Vivienne says uncertainly, but she’s eager to know what it is that she needs to do – or can do – to protect Mikah.

  “Come with us.”

  Zirah and Seraphina both turn toward a door. Through the windows on either si
de of it, Vivienne can see green grass and flowers. A garden.

  Vivienne follows them out the door and into the vast garden. It is probably one of the most beautiful sights she’s ever seen. Stone paths lined with all different types of flowers crisscross the garden, and between the paths is lush green grass that is soft under Vivienne’s feet. Two benches surround a brick walkway around a fountain in the center of the garden, and four pathways lead away from the fountain to arches in the bushes and hedges that mark the borders of the garden. Beautiful white flowers peek out from the hedges. Vivienne can’t see what lies beyond that.

  “In order to show you what you need to do, we first need to teach you what not to do,” Seraphina says as she plucks a white rosebud from a nearby bush. She brings the bud to Vivienne. “Hold out your hands.”

  Vivienne does as she says.

  “Now bring them together to make a bowl.”

  Vivienne brings her hands together pinky to pinky and cups them, then Seraphina places the rose bud gently in her palms.

  “Now, I want you to close your eyes and visualize the rose in your hands. Let it become a part of you.” Vivienne closes her eyes. The flower is light and soft against her palms.

  From somewhere behind Seraphina there is a loud noise like two pieces of wood slamming together. Vivienne starts. A white-hot flash kisses her palms and she drops the rose.

  Opening her eyes, she looks at Seraphina, then down. The rose is no longer a rose but a pile of black ash on the ground.

  “What happened?”

  Zirah says, “You lost your concentration, and instead of healing the rose, you burned it.”

  “But—” Vivienne is confused. She didn’t even know what had happened until after it was already done.

  “This was to show you what can happen when you lose focus. Your ability to heal also has a negative side. You cannot have the ability to heal without the ability to destroy. Balance,” Zirah says, and Vivienne understands immediately.

  “So let’s try again,” Seraphina says. “Only this time, once you find the rose within yourself, imagine it opening.” She holds up another rosebud.

  Vivienne braces herself by widening her stance so she feels both more relaxed and more stable. She brings her hands up and cups them, and Seraphina places the rose against her palms once again.

  Vivienne closes her eyes, concentrating on the bud in her hands. She finds the rose – she can see it, touch it, smell it within herself. She watches as each of the rose’s petals slowly begin to fall open.

  In front of her, another loud clap, but this time she is expecting it and she doesn’t flinch. She can feel Zirah and Seraphina surrounding her, watching her.

  As the final petals unfold, exposing the center, Vivienne is awed by its simple beauty. She opens her eyes to see the rose, open and beautiful, no longer resting against her palms; it’s suspended above her hands.

  She looks up to see her teachers’ reactions, and that’s when she sees her.In the distance, across the garden on the other side of the fountain, Rebecca stands in an archway in the hedge. Vivienne’s concentration breaks. The rose flashes and turns to ash in her palm.

  “What happened that time?”

  Vivienne isn’t sure which of her teachers asks the question because she is staring too intently at her mother. “I thought she wasn’t allowed in Elysium without an invitation,” she whispers to the angels standing near her.

  “Who?” Zirah responds and follows Vivienne’s gaze. “She’s not—” Zirah is cut short by the arrival of Elizabeth.

  “She’s not. I brought her here to further discuss what happened. I’m sorry, Vivienne, she wasn’t supposed to be here in the garden.”

  Vivienne peels her eyes away from Rebecca to look at Elizabeth. “Have you learned anything further?”

  “No, not really, other than she seems pretty certain that Riley wasn’t alone. But we already knew that.”

  Vivienne nods. Two cloaked figures appear behind Rebecca, commanding her attention, and she goes with them willingly.

  TWENTY-SIX

  For the next two weeks, Mikah and Vivienne train during the day, Vivienne in Elysium with Zirah and Seraphina and sometimes Celeste, and Mikah with Andrew, Connor and Red in the condo downstairs, which now looks more like a karate studio than an apartment. The tension builds as each day passes and they continue wait for Riley or one of the devil’s other minions to make a move.

  Vivienne’s bump is no longer just a bump. Now, at twenty-one weeks, she’s grown quite the belly, and Mikah spends every moment he can talking to or playing music for the baby. Her kicks get stronger everyday.

  In order to ensure that Vivienne and the baby will have everything they need in the event that something happens to Mikah, he talks to Red and Andrew about his wishes. This is not an easy conversation for any of them.

  Every morning they take their walk along the river, each day a little longer than the day before. About three or four days into the routine, they add an evening walk.

  Every night, and sometimes between training sessions, Mikah and Vivienne make love. Each time it’s a little more intense and emotional for both of them. Mikah knows he loves her and is confident that she loves him in return, but he senses her hesitation to say it out loud. He also knows it has nothing to do with him.

  Then, finally, she tells him her story about her mother and about Riley. Her confiding in him is the turning point; he knows she’s learning to trust him.

  One night, with an hour or so to spare before their evening walk, Mikah leaves Vivienne to eat and heads into his office. Only his office is not where he is going. Once he’s shut the door behind him, he transports himself to Elysium, something he’s been taught how to do over the last two weeks.

  He walks through the great room and passes into the sanctuary, where he finds his mother standing at the altar.

  “Hello, my son.”

  “I need to see her.”

  “Who?” His mother turns to him.

  “Rebecca.”

  “For what purpose?” Her tone is forbidding, but Mikah will not back down.

  “I need to talk to her.” Mikah had decided a couple of days ago that he needs his own answers so that maybe he can figure out what he can do to help Vivienne.

  “Is that really your place, my son?”

  “No, I’m sure it’s not, but I need to anyway.”

  “Are you going to marry Vivienne?”

  “What? What does this have to do with my request?”

  “Everything, my son. Do you plan to marry her?”

  “She has to learn to trust and love me before I can propose marriage to her. I’m sure you can understand that.”

  “I do. But when she finds that she already loves you and trusts you, will you marry her?”

  “Yes.” Mikah watches a smile spread across his mother’s face.

  “Good.” She gestures toward the door to her right. “Rebecca is outside.”

  Mikah steps through the door and into the garden. Despite all the white inside of the sanctuary, the garden is green and full of color and life.

  Rebecca sits on a bench opposite him, looking right at Mikah as he walks toward her. Her features as he approaches are devoid of emotion.

  “Mind if I sit?” he asks her, not really intending to give her a choice.

  “No,” she says, and she goes back to looking around the garden.

  “Why?” It’s all he can ask.

  “Why what?” Rebecca looks at him, trying to read him.

  “Why did you do to Vivienne the things you did?”

  Rebecca stands and starts to walk away. Mikah follows, catching her quickly by the arm and turning her around. “She deserves an explanation, Rebecca. You owe her that much.”

  “It’s none of your business.” She tries to turn and he stops her again.

  “You’re wrong about that,” he says, emotion raw in his throat. “You see, I care about her. Deeply. But your inability to show her love and affection has her t
errified to admit to herself that it’s okay to fall in love. She deserves better than that.”

  “You want to know why? Fine, Mikah, I will tell you why. I loved Red with all of my heart. When I found out I was pregnant with Vivienne, I couldn’t wait to tell him. I was dying to tell him. I knew that he would be happy and that we would all be happy together. But I never got that chance. He never came back.”

  Mikah’s grip loosens on her arm. She pulls free but doesn’t run away.

  “When I finally realized he was never coming back, I was too far along to do anything about it. Being a single mother was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I found it much easier to handle her and life with the bottle. I blamed her for Red leaving, I blamed her for my being a single mom, I blamed her for everything.”

  Mikah’s knees weaken and he sits alongside the fountain in the center of the garden.

  “I had to live with that choice every day of my existence. I had to live with it inside of my own head at the rehab center, and I had to live with it every time she looked into my eyes. I gave up on her, but she never once gave up on me. Now I have to live with my choices for eternity and beyond. There is nothing I can do to make things right with her.” Rebecca takes the bench opposite Mikah.

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

  Rebecca looks up into his eyes.

  “You said it yourself, she never gave up on you. Maybe that is still true today. Elysium is not about repenting for your sins, it is about forgiveness and life. Start a new chapter with her.”

  “I can’t,” Rebecca says, standing again and turning to walk away.

  This time Mikah lets her go.

  “She is hopeless, Mikah. She will never change.”

  Mikah stands and spins around. Vivienne is standing opposite the fountain from him. “Vivienne, I—”

  “Shh. She’s right. I never did give up on her, but my reasons for hanging onto her were selfish. I wanted her to apologize to me, tell me that she didn’t mean it, tell me that it wasn’t my fault. I know now that it wasn’t my fault and maybe it is no one’s fault, but—” Vivienne walks around the fountain toward Mikah. “—but I know that the choices she made were hers and hers alone. I cannot change the past, and I am who I am today because of her. I don’t need her apologies to move on with my life.” She reaches her hand out for him to take. “Thank you.”