Saga of Menyoral: Hard Luck
Page 18
Vandis turned his attention onto Kessa when Dingus didn’t say anything. He knew voicing what he thought was only going to get him in trouble. When did you ever coddle me anyways? He shut his eyes, but couldn’t fall asleep, even when Kessa’s breathing went deep and slow. He held himself absolutely still. It didn’t help. His brain whirled around and around, and it kept stopping where he didn’t want it to be.
He rolled to his back and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands, and then laid them on his belly. Plenty of nights he’d spent like this, under trees or sky with the campfire burning low, but those nights he’d mostly been sleeping.
“Can’t sleep?” Vandis said from the other side of the fire. He was facing away from the light so it didn’t ruin his night sight: sitting watch.
“No.”
“Good. Come take over the watch. I’m nodding off here.”
“Yes, Vandis,” he said. It was better than lying in bed wishing things would go black for a while. He stood and picked his way to where Vandis was, and when Vandis stood, he sat. His night sight was going to take a while to come, but he heard a lot better than Vandis did, so it wouldn’t be much of a problem.
“Dingus…” Vandis said, and paused, thumping one fist against his thigh, like he didn’t know where to go next. “If you let this break you, you’re not half the man I thought you were.” A dozen things went through Dingus’s mind at once, like You really think I’m a man? and I’m going to pieces, how can I stop that? But he didn’t say any of them. He didn’t even glance at Vandis, though he could feel sharp gray eyes picking him apart.
“Look at me,” Vandis said quietly, and Dingus looked, knowing there wasn’t any arguing, there wasn’t any kind of way he’d get away with disobeying. “You’re afraid of it.”
“Yeah,” he said.
“You can’t fear it. It’s—”
“Best believe I can. I liked it. I never felt that good in my whole life.” As soon as it came out, he realized how true it was, and that scared him worse; as soon as it came out, he realized how much he missed Moira. She never did understand, not really, anything that was going on in his head, but she listened to him. He’d never find anything like that again—nobody’d love him like she had, not now. Look at what he was. “There’s nothing in the world for me but that,” he said, “and I don’t want it.”
“You’re wrong.” Vandis folded his arms. “There’s the work. There’s always more work, and you can’t let anything get in the way, understand? I need you. She needs you. So get your head out of your ass.” And he stomped over to his bedroll and lay down, leaving Dingus desperately alone.
What else could he do? He sat his watch.
Continued in
Saga of Menyoral #2: The Service
Available now
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The author may also be reached at menyoral@gmail.com
Acknowledgments
Dozens of people helped me make Saga what it is today. I give my thanks to:
First, foremost, and forever, Chris Hendrickson: best friend, husband, supporter, and co-plotter extraordinaire, who has allowed me to take Dingus on his many adventures.
My beautiful, patient son and daughter, who have taught me enough about life and love to fill volumes.
My mother, who put The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe into my six-year-old hands, and unknowingly gave me the love of enchantment that is now immortalized here.
My father, from whom I learned the most important lesson of all: never give up. Never.
My cousin Matt, for helping me feed the obsession with writing necessary to finish this book, for tons of excellent conversation, and for letting me read his own excellent material.
My wonderful beta-readers, too many to list here: you know who you are, and I cannot express all you have done for me.
The cover artist, w. kirk crawford, for all his patience and hard work. Visit WK Design to commission a design or illustration, or to admire beautiful, handmade chess sets and furniture.
Mr. John Hart, editor, Omega Reader, and true friend, who helped me trim the fat.
The coffee growers of Colombia.
The members of Dragonforce, past and present, for truly excellent writing music.
And finally, to the members and admins of the Facebook group Fantasy & Sci-Fi Fans, Artists, Readers, Writers, Filmmakers & Cosplayers, for chats, inspiration, and support.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. See you next time!