Where There's Smoke

by B L Morticia

“To be a friend, that’s all. He needs one and since we were in the same boat with our mothers, I thought I’d go.”

  “Okay, don’t hate me, but I have to ask does this have anything to do with Santiago’s idea?”

  “What idea,” Jonas asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

  Pamela sighed aloud. “Maybe now isn’t a good time to talk about this.”

  “Pam, I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re saying, but okay. We need to get to Target and then to that shop I’m buying the crib at. I hope the thing will fit on top of the car.”

  “You’re buying a crib? Oh that’s awesome! From where?”

  As the two of them talked, I continued to feed Macy. I knew what she was getting at, but as I expected, Jonas cut her off at the pass. Though a part of me wanted to know if Jonas was thinking about my idea, I’d let it go. Things were perfect right now, and I refused to rock the boat by bringing it up again.

  Within five hours, we’d gone shopping at Target, bought a crib, and dropped Pamela back off at her car. She actually wanted to stay for the evening, but I declined the offer because I needed to chat with Jonas alone.

  After placing Macy in her new crib, complete with a spanking new toy, we pulled the door close to the door jam and tiptoed away. I took his hand in mine, leading him to the recliner on the left.

  Jonas pulled me down with him and kissed my head. Wanting him close, I wrapped my arms around his neck and settled on is lap.

  “I love you, Jonas.”

  “I think that makes seven. You have five more to go.”

  I laughed and playfully smacked his chest. “Are you really counting?”

  “Yeah. I told you I would.”

  “You’re nuts. Anyway, when are you leaving?”

  “The day after tomorrow. I figured I’d do the same thing Myles did to us. Show up on his doorstep.”

  I snickered and pressed my lips to his head. “Why are you doing this again?”

  “To be supportive and… hopefully to get him to like me a little more. I want Macy in our lives, Santi. We need to be more than cordial for that to happen.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “More than cordial?”

  “We need to be in the same room, and… we…”

  “Jonas?”

  Jonas dropped his head. “If you’re about to ask what I think you are then yeah, I’ve been thinking of your idea.”

  I gasped in total shock, not believing what I’d heard. “Why?”

  “Because, I… fuck… I want to give Macy and Myles a family, that’s if he wants it. Seeing him the other day made me feel awful. I remembered how I was when Momma died. I had my bro and father, but no one to hug or kiss me to tell me it’s okay.”

  “You want to do that for him?”

  “Yes, I do, but I won’t force anything. He’s gotta be onboard with it for it to work. If it doesn’t, oh well, we can be close friends and we’ll be Macy’s uncles.”

  As I listened, my mind played scenes I would love to see. Us, raising Macy together, living in a beautiful house with all the antiques I could buy. And so many toys, she wouldn’t know what to do with.

  “Santi? You’re okay with me going aren’t you?”

  “Of course I am. I love the idea.” And I did. He would be going alone to get to know Myles and show why we could care about him.

  “If only I could be a fly on the wall,” I smiled.

  Jonas laughed. “For what?”

  “Just in case…” I shivered and moistened my lips, stirring up hot scenarios in my brain.

  “What?”

  Chuckling, I smacked his arm. “You know what! Jonas Sandbauck, don’t be coy with me. If something happens, go for it.”

  Jonas cocked an eyebrow. “You mean, like a kiss or…”

  “Or more. Sex is the best remedy for grief.”

  Jonas offered a smile. “Hmm. Okay I’ll keep it in mind. Anyway, I know it’s rough for him now but, I’m thinking it’s as good of a time as any to lend my shoulder to cry on.”

  “It is. Talking things out with him will help.”

  “Yes, I think it will.”

  Settling in to him, I thought about the last time I put my saying to use. I remembered it well because Myles had actually comforted me when my aunt died. Though she and I weren’t all that close, losing a family member really hit home so I could relate to what Myles was going through. Plus, it was his mother so of course he’d be overly emotional and need all the love in the world to help him cope.

  * * * *

  Myles

  A couple of days had passed since I’d last spoken to Santiago. I texted him to check in on Macy and he informed me she was just fine and loving her life in Cobalt. Although I missed her, I knew it was for the best that she’d stayed with Santiago, who could give her his undivided attention. Garrett’s wife, Sherri offered to take care of Macy, but I couldn’t do that to her. Besides, I’d been like a zombie lately and wouldn’t be much of a parent to my niece right now. She’d be fine there until things got better. Or as good as they could be. Lord knew I’d need her when everything was final with Momma.

  As I’d done for the last four weeks, going on five, I sat in Mother’s room, reading the Bible and a couple of old Agatha Christie novels aloud.

  I turned on baseball for her because she loved the North side team. When her favorite show, Criminal Minds, came on, I turned to that, so I could remind myself of the mother I knew before she’d gotten sick. She’d never missed an episode, even though she swore off it when Derek Morgan’s character left. Despite that, she’d still watched and now the show was continuing on without her.

  Regardless of all I’d tried, Mother was in the same spot, not reacting to anything. I’d been hoping that she would wake if only to say goodbye before I asked them to make her completely comfortable and pull the oxygen. It was the last thing left, for they’d taken her off the machines and IV’s. Though I knew it was a bleak moment, I had the hardest time letting go. She was however, other than Macy and my sister, the last real family I had left.

  When I read aloud the last passage to Revelations, I closed the book and set it on the side of the bed. I gently took her hand and held it in mine, then kissed her frail fingers. Even after everything she’d been through, her skin was still soft. Yes, things changed with time and all the treatments she’d taken, but she was still my mother. The only one I had.

  “Momma. I know you want to be with Poppa because you never got over his death.” I rubbed my other hand on top of hers and kissed her ring finger again. With tears flowing from my eyes, I swallowed hard and leaned my forehead against her wrist.

  “It’s so hard for me to let go. You’ve always been the one to hold this family together. Where am I going to be without you? Little Macy has no mother because your daughter is a lost cause. Her biological father wants nothing to do with her. What am I going to do without your advice, your love? I don’t have a clue how to raise a young lady.”

  With that realization, I cried harder. I knew I was being selfish. Mom was in no shape to help me take care of Macy. Still, I could’ve used her motherly wisdom, especially with Macy about to be a year old.

  Letting that harsh reality sink in, I sniffed and watched her face. Gone were the chubby cheeks, now replaced by gaunt features. She’d lost some of the color, her hair once full and silver was now in patches. Chemo had done a number on my mother and I’d cursed it from the day of her first treatment. The doctors did what they thought would keep her alive. They had no clue it would push her closer to the grave.

  Still staring, I barely heard the sound of the door opening behind me. The hand on my shoulder jolted me a little, and I finally looked away from momma, up to the nurse’s eyes.

  “Mr. Greyson. I know you don’t want to leave, but I think you should get air. You’ve barely eaten for the last three or so days.”

  I nodded and sighed knowing that was true. I hadn’t had an appetite for at least seventy-two hours. The last time I had a full meal, the n
ausea overtook me and I couldn’t hold on to any of it. For the most part, I’d only snacked on fruit, chips, and water.

  “I… I’m not hungry. Maybe I will step out though.” I rose and kissed my mom’s forehead, dislodging my hand from hers. “I need to check on my daughter, anyway. Will you grab me if anything changes?”

  “Of course, I will. Please, go. I’ll keep a close eye on her.”

  “All right, thank you.” I bowed my head in her direction, then walked out. I ran my hand over the scruff on my chin and cheeks. I hadn’t shaved, my hair was growing on top of my head, and I’d barely slept. I was sure I looked like a hobo these days, but with my mother in the hospital, I couldn’t bring myself to care about my grooming.

  As I ambled through the halls of the hospice, staff eyed me with sorrow in their gazes. Surely, they were used to this now, but they still treated family members saying goodbye to their loved ones with compassion. I appreciated the tender loving care and all the niceties. Watching your last living parent fade away was a horrible thing to go through, and I’d hoped when I decided to begin the process to transition, they’d continue to show that empathy.

  Finally, I rounded the corner and walked outside the door leading to the courtyard in the back of the hospice area. There were several people roaming around, some with children and all of them appeared in the same state I was.

  Despite this, I had no desire to talk with anyone out here. Instead, I plucked my phone from my pocket and pushed speed dial one.

  “Hello, Myles.”

  “Hello. How is Macy?”

  “She’s wonderful. She’s sleeping now. I think she’s getting used to being here. You might have an issue taking her back to Chicago.” I heard the grin in his voice.

  “Well, she’s not staying there. Shouldn’t be too long now. I will ask the doctors to remove the oxygen from Momma. After the arrangements, I’ll be coming to get Macy to bring her home.”

  “Oh, Myles, I’m so sorry. I… damn, I don’t know what to say.”

  I exhaled and changed the phone from one ear to the other. I didn’t want any people listening to my conversation, but I wanted to say something to my ex-boyfriend.

  “I do. Why don’t you come back? Help me raise Macy, here in Chicago.”

  Santiago sighed on the other end. “Myles, I can’t and you know why.”

  Yes I did, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying.

  “I do, but I miss you so much.” I ran my hand over the fuzz atop my head.

  “I did offer to brave Chicago for a couple of days for support, but you said no.”

  “I didn’t want that, babe. What kind of support would you be if you were constantly breaking down or looking over your shoulder?”

  “True, but I would have braved it for you.”

  Hearing him say that brought a tear to my eye. “Thank you, love. I’m glad you feel that way, but… well, maybe after things are final. Can you do me a favor and call later so I can speak to my niece?”

  “Sure I will. She’s sleeping now, but it shouldn’t be for long. Jonas and I bought her a crib because we worried about her being in the bassinet. It’s gorgeous.”

  “Oh Santiago, that’s really wonderful you two did that. I could send you some money…”

  “What? No, are you kidding me? She’s mine, too, Myles. We’re taking care of her as if she were blood. In a way she is. Since you’re daddy, we’re officially uncles,” Santiago said, snickering.

  Although I loved hearing that, a pang of worry settled in my stomach. They were buying things, taking care of her so well. She might not want to leave them when the time came. “Listen, I need to go so I can grab something to drink. Just call me back later, all right?”

  “I will. Take care of yourself, Myles. Let me know if anything changes.”

  “I will love, goodbye.”

  “Bye.”

  The minute I pushed the disconnect button, I broke down. I couldn’t believe how much money and time they’d spent for my little girl. Surely, I would have to find a way to repay them once everything was all over.

  As I stood, I slipped the phone back in my pocket. I stretched, holding my hands high above my head. When the phone buzzed, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

  Without bothering to look at the screen, I swiped it and put it to my ear. “This is Myles.”

  “Hey, it’s Garrett. Listen, I know you’re busy with Momma, but you’ve got company waiting here for you.”

  “Company?” I cocked an eyebrow, wondering who the hell it could be.

  Karl? He wouldn’t dare. Or maybe he would, because despite me threatening him weeks ago, he still texted and called more than three times a week.

  My sister? I hoped not. When I called Sal’s phone to fill her in, she was too strung out to comprehend anything I’d said about our mother.

  I’d just talked with Santiago, so I doubt he would come up here. I was sure he would’ve told me if he’d made his way here.

  “Myles?”

  “Yeah, who?”

  “The man I wanted to shake hands with for decking you. Santiago’s man, Jonas. He says he wants to see you.”

  “What the…” I stopped myself from talking and balled my one hand into a fist at my side. “Are you serious?”

  “I am. He’s sitting right here. The guy seems real nice. You need to lay off Santiago and let him−”

  “What does he want?” I growled, pacing back and forth. Thoughts of revenge, no not the kind I’d wanted before, but actual combat crossed my mind. I could go for a street fight. Something to get out all my frustrations and return the beating I’d received.

  Why the fuck was he here?

  “Myles, what do you want me to tell him?”

  I stopped dead in my tracks, then exhaled deeply. With the anger and annoyance I felt right now I could whoop some serious ass. Garrett and the others might take issue with the fact I was starting a brawl right there in the office when I preached professionalism. But, this asshole had it coming.

  I cracked my knuckles and blew out a ragged breath, knowing I might still take a few blows again. A fight would be good exercise for me, especially since I hadn’t been to the gym as of late.

  “Garrett, tell the big lug to stay there. I’ll be at the building in about fifteen minutes.”

  * * * *

  Jonas

  “So, tell me again how you punched him. I mean, a full play-by-play.” Garrett Barnes, Myles’s business partner sat across from me at Myles’s desk, with a cocked eyebrow.

  I laughed and sat up straighter in the chair. “Dude, I told you, I need to apologize.”

  “And that’s all you’re here for? I mean, Myles is my boy. We’ve been friends since college.”

  “You coulda fooled me. You’re his best friend and you wanted to see him beat up?”

  “Just to take him down a notch,” Garrett said and shrugged. “Not seriously, but Myles is an asshole. I mean, he never should’ve tread on your territory.”

  “Maybe not, but I should’ve listened to him before I reacted. I got sort of an issue with anger management. Santi’s told me about it many times and, well, sometimes I’ve let my feelings get out of hand. Anyway, when did Myles say he was coming?” I had to ask because Garrett was annoying me.

  “He said fifteen minutes. Can I get you something to drink?” Garrett got up from the large swivel chair and walked to the wet bar.

  “Yeah, uh, maybe a bottle of water?”

  While I waited, I took a quick look around Myles’s office, appreciating what he had. A good mix of browns, grays, and off white tones. He had a leather chair and couch that looked like something off HGTV. The desk, bookcase, and wet bar appeared to be made from fine wood, probably handcrafted. The place was spotless, and he had a huge picture window behind him. With the Chicago skyline in the distance, his office had the perfect view.

  Unlike Santiago and his ugly antiques, Myles’s style seemed simplistic and modern. Something I could totally get behind. He loved
the classically new, instead of the old and worn down as Santiago did.

  “Dude, I meant a cocktail. We got some rum, gin, beer…” Garrett spoke without turning his head.

  “Uh beer, I guess. It isn’t evening yet, but what the heck? I ain’t driving. I took the bus up here.”

  “Wow, how long did that take you?” Garrett turned around and held out the beer in my direction.

  “Thanks,” I nodded and twisted the cap off. “Only three hours. I left the car home with Santi just in case he needed to go somewhere.”

  “Mhmm. Good deal. Why are you here again? I know you said to apologize, but you could’ve done that over the phone.”

  I took a long swig, then sighed at the cool liquid going down my throat.

  “True, but I think it’s better to settle your differences in person. Plus, Santiago wanted me to check on Myles’s momma. I’m sure when… um, things proceed, we’ll all come up here, but in the meantime, I’m representing both of us.”

  “That’s real kind of you. Myles needs more people in his life.”

  I totally agree.

  Garrett continued. “I went up there yesterday with my wife. I urged him to eat, but he refused. Maybe you could?”

  “Maybe.” I drank more from the bottle and the minute I finished, the door behind me clicked.

  “Hey, Garrett. Jonas, what the hell are you doing here?” Myles’s angry voice boomed from the other end.

  I finally turned around with the empty bottle in my hand. The man who’d kept my interest when he drove down to Cobalt the first time looked a lot different. Instead of the smooth bald head, his hair had grown along with a scruffy beard to match. His emerald green eyes appeared to be puffy from crying. No suit, only a pair of jeans he filled out nicely and a t-shirt. By the way he looked I could tell he needed support more than anything.

  I bowed my head then stood up straight, not making a move towards him. I placed the empty bottle on his desk.

  “Came to make things right, man. Check on your momma.”

  “Why do you care? All you want is—” Myles stopped short and shook his head. “Hey, Garrett, will you give me and Jonas some time alone?”