Out of Circulation

by Miranda James

  “My sister and I wanted to express our thanks, privately, of course, for the way you stood up to Vera Cassity yesterday. We know she threatened to retaliate.”

  My jaw dropped in surprise. How on earth had the Ducote sisters found out about the episode? I hadn’t told anyone, and I couldn’t imagine even Vera having the gall to take her complaint directly to Miss An’gel or Miss Dickce.

  As I struggled to frame a reply, Miss Dickce spoke. “We have our sources for what goes on in Athena. People tend to tell us things, and Vera isn’t always as discreet as she should be.”

  “Especially when she’s annoyed with someone.” Miss An’gel shook her head. “Even after all this time, she never has learned that it doesn’t pay to shoot your mouth off to all and sundry.”

  I could well imagine. Vera Cassity didn’t seem like the type to suffer in silence.

  “She did make a couple of threats.” I really didn’t want to go into specifics and was hoping the sisters would let it rest at that.

  “You don’t need to have any fears about Diesel,” Miss Dickce said with a serene smile. “Vera won’t be able to do a thing to harm him.” She stroked the cat’s head as he sniffed at the now-empty plate, eager for more tidbits. “Not this beautiful boy.”

  Miss An’gel nodded. “And if she dares to cancel that nice young Wardlaw boy’s scholarship, we’ll see that she is thoroughly embarrassed for her meanness.”

  Vera was evidently even more indiscreet than I expected. “Thank you,” I said. “I have to admit that her threats had me pretty worked up.” I wondered briefly who the informant was.

  “Now you can rest easy.” Miss An’gel had a sip of tea. “We knew already that you were a man of integrity, Charlie, and your actions in protecting the privacy of our family show that clearly.”

  As always, any kind of direct praise made me uncomfortable. I mumbled my thanks.

  “And you’re modest as well.” Miss Dickce winked at me, and I relaxed. Somehow that little gesture made me feel more comfortable, less like I was having an audience with the queen.

  “We’ve put up with Vera’s little tantrums for years because she does pour a lot of money into worthy causes in Athena.” Miss An’gel’s expression turned steely. “But there are limits, and lately Vera has been pushing the boundaries of the acceptable in terms of some of her behavior.”

  “And it has nothing to do with her background,” Miss Dickce said. “Despite what she may think.” She shook her head. “Good people are good no matter what kind of family they have. Vera is just plain mean.”

  “That she is.” Miss An’gel took back the reins of the conversation. “She thinks we are always thwarting her simply because we think she’s socially unacceptable, but that just proves how self-deluded she is.” She sighed. “But that’s neither here nor there. The problem is, Vera is getting nastier, and she has got to be stopped.”

  “She’s meddling in things that don’t concern her,” Miss Dickce said. “Not just our family history, though what she expected to find in the family papers, I haven’t the faintest idea,” she sniffed. “The Ducotes have been boringly respectable for generations.”

  “Sadly, yes.” Miss An’gel laughed. “Dull as ditch water, as the saying goes.” Her expression hardened. “All that aside, Vera is headed for trouble, the kind of trouble she may never survive.”

  SEVEN

  Miss Dickce burst into laughter. “Oh, Charlie, your face just now. You’d think An’gel was talking about strangling Vera the way you looked.”

  Diesel tilted his head up at her and warbled.

  She laughed again. “See, Diesel thinks it’s funny, too.”

  Miss An’gel frowned at her sister. “I’m sure Charlie thought nothing of the sort. You’re entirely too frivolous sometimes.” She turned her attention to me, as I was trying valiantly not to laugh.

  “There’s no need for something so extreme to bring Vera to heel,” Miss An’gel said, her tone repressive. “The moment I heard about Vera’s attempt to stick her nose into our family papers, I called our lawyer, Q. C. Pendergrast. He knew exactly what to do to put a halt to such nonsense. He simply got on the phone to Mr. Cassity and explained the situation. That was all it took.”

  Miss Dickce rolled her eyes at her sibling. “Do you truly think Morty has that kind of control over his wife? You go into the library and pull the dictionary off the shelf. Look under loose cannon, and you’ll find Vera’s picture. That woman is crazy as a betsy bug.”

  “Very amusing, sister.” Miss An’gel cast a venomous glance at Miss Dickce. “I know Vera as well as you do. She has never quite understood the meaning of restraint, but Mr. Cassity holds the purse strings in the family. Without the money to back up her oversized mouth, she can’t accomplish much.”

  There had been no opportunity for me to contribute to the conversation, even had I wanted to. Diesel, however, continued to chirp and purr as the sisters engaged in their verbal sparring match. He appeared to be enjoying the exchange. I found it pretty entertaining myself, but I was afraid it might escalate into something unpleasant. I had heard stories of some of their epic arguments and didn’t really want to be witness to one of them.

  Miss An’gel must have sensed my concern. “Pay no mind to us, Charlie. This is what comes of two old maids knocking about in a big house like this for decades on end.” She cut a sideways glance at her sister.

  Miss Dickce took the cue and nodded. “Oh, yes, Sister and I have a fine old time pointing out each other’s foibles and follies. But we didn’t invite you here to put on a show.” She giggled, looking suddenly twenty years younger.

  I wasn’t quite sure what to say, but Diesel saved me from having to reply right away. His continued vocalizing made the Misses Ducote laugh, and that gave me a few seconds more. “I’ve seen siblings, um, have differing opinions before. My son and daughter have the occasional disagreement.”

  “Tactful, too,” Miss Dickce murmured.

  Her sister ignored her. “We want to assure you, Charlie, that you don’t have to worry about Vera. We still have to deal with her over the gala, of course, but all the arrangements are well in hand. There’s not much Vera can do to upset them at this point.”

  Despite Miss An’gel’s assurances, I wasn’t convinced that Vera could be dismissed that easily. In the long run, though, I would put my money on the Misses Ducote to triumph in any contest with her.

  “I’m relieved to hear that, Miss An’gel,” I said. “I’m looking forward to the gala. River Hill is such a lovely setting for an event like that.”

  The sisters beamed with pride. “Yes, it is. We’ve been so fortunate to call it home these many years.” Miss An’gel paused. “And you’ll forgive me if I don’t say exactly how many years that is.”

  We all shared a smile, and I sneaked a glance at my watch. It was nearly four thirty now, and I should head home soon to help with dinner.

  “We’re so pleased you had time to visit this afternoon.” Miss Dickce scratched Diesel’s head. “Both of you. And once the gala is over, you two mustn’t be strangers here.”

  “No, indeed.” Miss An’gel rubbed down Diesel’s spine, and the cat’s expression betrayed utter bliss at such attention. I’d have a hard time getting him off that sofa as long as the sisters were petting him.

  “Next time you must bring your daughter and son,” Miss An’gel continued. “Q.C. tells us Sean is an outstanding young man, and I do believe he thinks there is a faint sound of wedding bells in the air.”

  Before I could respond, Miss Dickce said, “And I would dearly love to hear about Laura’s experiences in Hollywood.”

  “She’d be delighted to talk to you about them,” I said. “Sean is very fond of Alexandra, I know, but if they have any plans for marriage, they haven’t shared them with me.” I smiled. “But I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Mr. Pendergrast is right.”

  The sisters nodded as I continued, “Diesel and I both have enjoyed this tremendously, and please express m
y compliments to Clementine for her wonderful cookies.” I rose. “We mustn’t impose on you any longer, though. It’s time we headed home to help with dinner.”

  Miss An’gel stood, and I tried not to wince at the sight of a clump of cat hair on her skirt. She appeared serenely unaware of it. “Of course, Charlie. Thank you again for sharing tea with us.” She stepped forward as her sister gently disengaged herself from Diesel and rose from the sofa.

  “Come along, Diesel.” I held out my hand, and after a brief hesitation the cat stepped off the sofa and came to me. I patted his head before we followed the sisters to the front door.

  “Miss An’gel, telephone.” Clementine’s voice sounded from behind us.

  “In a moment,” Miss An’gel called back. She took my hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “We’ll see you again soon. Now, please excuse me, I must go answer that call.”

  I bade her good-bye, and Miss Dickce shook my hand and added her own farewell. “Don’t worry anymore about Vera.”

  I assured her I wouldn’t. Diesel and I headed for the car and were soon en route homeward.

  The grandfather clock in the front hall was chiming five as Diesel and I entered the kitchen from the garage. Enticing aromas eddied through the air, and my nose took notice. Despite my consumption of several of Clementine’s oatmeal cookies, I felt hungry. The smell of lasagna often did that.

  “Hi, Dad.” Laura came to greet me with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Where have you and Diesel been?”

  “Didn’t you see the note I left?” I frowned. “I stuck it on the fridge.”

  Laura laughed, a throaty, infectious sound. “Yes, I did. But all it said was ‘Gone to tea. Back around five.’ I’ve been dying of curiosity ever since.”

  “Sorry, I thought I said where we were going.” I loosened my tie and unbuttoned the top button. “Ah, that’s better. Diesel and I have been at River Hill having tea with the Misses Ducote.”

  “Oh, do tell.” Laura’s eyes lit up. “You’ll have to fill me in on it. I can’t wait to see the house. All I’ve seen are pictures of the exterior, and it’s gorgeous.”

  “You’ll see inside it soon enough. The gala’s only four days away now.” I shrugged off my jacket and folded it over my arm. “The house is every bit as beautiful inside as it is outside. At least the areas I saw were, the entryway and the front parlor. Antiques, portraits, and so on. A real showplace.”

  “The gala will be such a hoot.” Laura went back to the oven and peered through the glass. “I think this needs another fifteen or twenty minutes.”

  “Good. Then I have time to go upstairs and change out of my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.”

  “Aw, you look so handsome and distinguished in that suit, Dad.” Laura pouted. “Don’t come back looking all scruffy.”

  I offered her a mock-severe frown. “Young lady, I’ll have you know I’ve never been scruffy in my life. Well, at least not since I was about ten, anyway.”

  Laura laughed again. “I know, I’ve seen Aunt Dottie’s pictures. You could be quite the dirty little piglet sometimes.”

  “None of your sass, now.” I grinned as I recalled one picture in particular. I was dirt-splattered from making mud pies in Aunt Dottie’s backyard. My aunt snorted with laughter, then ran for her camera. Much to my chagrin in later years, she often pulled out that shot to show friends and family.

  “I promise to be presentable,” I said as I headed for the stairs.

  Laura arched an eyebrow. “You’d better be. Don’t forget, Helen Louise is coming to dinner.”

  Hoping against hope that I wasn’t blushing, I scooted for the stairs. Behind me I heard Laura talking to Diesel and promising him some tidbits at dinner.

  I hadn’t forgotten that Helen Louise was coming to dinner, but Laura’s reminder prompted me to think more carefully about my change of clothes. I put my suit away, kept the white shirt on, and slipped into dark pants. I added a light cotton sweater, a deep emerald green, which had been a birthday present from Helen Louise. She loved the color, and I knew she’d enjoy seeing me wear her gift.

  Downstairs again I found Sean and Diesel with Laura in the kitchen. Sean had his hands in the salad bowl, tearing lettuce. My big helpful kitty kept a close eye on Laura as she put a tray of garlic bread into the oven to warm. He meowed as the bread disappeared and moved anxiously closer as Laura shut the door.

  “It will come out all nice and toasty,” Laura assured the cat, “and I’ll make sure you have a few bites.”

  I cleared my throat, and Laura started. She flashed me a guilty smile. “That is, if Dad says it’s okay.”

  “He’s already had some nice extra treats today, courtesy of the Ducote sisters.” I put on a stern expression, then spoiled it with a chuckle. “But you can give him two small—very small—pinches of garlic bread.”

  “Okay, Dad.” Laura came closer and dropped a quick kiss on my cheek.

  “You’re hobnobbing with the society crowd these days.” Sean finished with the salad and moved to the sink to rinse his hands. “Having tea with the Ducote sisters may put you on the A-list in Athena.” He grinned as he dried off with a tea towel.

  I put on my best aristocratic drawl. “Yes, I’m thinking of hiring a chauffeur to drive the new Rolls I ordered. I can’t be seen driving myself around town now.”

  “Wonderful.” Laura clapped her hands. “Does this mean I can have that diamond and emerald tiara I’ve always wanted? Christmas is only a couple weeks away, after all.”

  “How about a Lamborghini for me?” Sean smirked at me. “I’ve been a good boy lately.”

  “Whatever you want,” I said airily. “The sky’s the limit.”

  We all had a hearty laugh, and as I watched my two children making merry I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. Having both of them with me these past few months was a great blessing, and I didn’t want to think about Laura heading back to California after the holidays. Sean could be moving out also, but perhaps not for a while. He seemed comfortably ensconced here, but if he and Alexandra did get married, they would want their own home.

  The ringing of the front doorbell interrupted my journey down Melancholy Lane. “I’ll go,” I said. “I’m sure it’s Helen Louise.”

  Sean and Laura exchanged a smile, and Diesel, hearing the name of one of his favorite people, loped after me as I headed out of the kitchen.

  He reached the front door before me and reared up on his hind legs. With both his front paws he started twisting the knob. He had learned this little trick some time ago, and I suspected Justin had taught him to do it.

  “Hang on, boy, there’s a dead bolt, too.” If he ever learned to open that, I could have real trouble on my hands. With my help at the dead bolt Diesel was able to open the door. We both moved back to admit Helen Louise. She looked lovely tonight in a crimson midlength skirt and jacket over a cream-colored blouse. The crimson suited her dark coloring perfectly.

  “Charlie, Diesel, am I glad to see the two of you.” Helen Louise slipped off her jacket after giving me a kiss and the cat a scratch of the head. “I’ve spent the most frustrating hour. I’m about ready to take somebody’s head off.”

  “Uh-oh. What happened?” I took her hand and tucked it into the crook of my arm. I led her toward the kitchen, while Diesel made circles around us on the way.

  “Vera Cassity. That’s what happened.” The venom in Helen Louise’s voice didn’t surprise me, considering Vera was the cause of her distress.

  “What did she do?” I asked as we walked into the kitchen.

  “All she’s doing,” Helen Louise replied, eyes flashing hatred, “is trying to run me out of business.”

  EIGHT

  Helen Louise sank into the chair Sean pulled out for her. Diesel put a paw on her leg and laid his head beside it. He warbled for her, and she sighed and rubbed his head. “Oh, you sweet boy. You’re just what I needed.” She glanced at me and then at the other two faces regarding her with concern. “All of you.”


  “How is the Wicked Witch of North Mississippi trying to run you out of business?” Laura handed Helen Louise a glass of iced tea.

  Helen Louise took a quick sip before she responded. “Delicious. Vera had the gall to come into the bakery around four thirty this afternoon and inform me—in a voice loud enough for everyone within five miles to hear—that the Friends board was canceling its order for the gala. Do you know how much money I spent on the ingredients for all those pastries and cakes?”

  “Why on earth would they cancel? The gala’s only a few days away.” Laura frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “No, it doesn’t,” I said. “Did Vera give you a reason?”

  “She certainly did. She had the colossal nerve to say someone on the board had heard that several people came down with food poisoning after eating some of my food.” Helen Louise drained the rest of her tea. “That was an out-and-out lie.”

  “Of course it was.” I squeezed her shoulder, and she put a hand over mine as she smiled up at me.

  “How about a refill?” Sean reached for Helen Louise’s glass.

  “Definitely,” she said. “Slip a little bourbon in it while you’re at it.”

  Sean grinned. “If that’s what you want, I think Dad’s got some stashed away somewhere.”

  Helen Louise laughed. “No, only kidding. If I start on the bourbon, I’ll just get maudlin, and none of you needs to see that.”

  “What did you say to Mrs. Cassity about the food poisoning?” Laura asked. She bent to peek in the oven. “Time to get this out.”

  “I lit into her like a wild dog after Jezebel.” Helen Louise offered a grim smile. “I told her exactly what I thought of her, and I also told her my lawyer would call her first thing tomorrow and she’d better be prepared for the biggest lawsuit for slander the great state of Mississippi has ever seen.”

  Sean whistled as he handed her a fresh glass of tea. “I bet you were terrifying. What did Mrs. Cassity have to say then?”

  “Not a blessed thing. She turned white as the proverbial driven snow—which she sure isn’t—and almost ran out of there.” Helen Louise swigged down half her glass with evident satisfaction.