Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

His shirt hung open around his waist, and pearly drops of moisture glistened on the head of his cock. Even amid her rush of self-hatred, the pull to go to him was intense, almost magnetic. The impulse to touch him again, to deny their wrongdoing, was potent.

  “I have to go.” She pulled her dress up, awkwardly pushing her arms through the straps. “I… I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.” She searched blindly for her purse and found it by the door. Then she turned and looked at Tyler’s tortured face.

  He was as disturbed by Steve’s call as she was. As shaken.

  Briefly she considered dropping to her knees and licking the sinful pre-come off his dick. “Steve is your friend,” she said thickly. “He’s my fiancé.”

  He didn’t argue. He simply fastened his pants and buckled his belt.

  Yanking the door open, she walked as fast as her legs would carry her, down the corridor and to the lifts, hating herself more with every step she took.

  She’d gotten maybe ten meters down the passageway when she heard the footsteps.

  She walked faster.

  It didn’t help. He was behind her. His hands on her hips, compelling her to slow down.

  She stopped and whispered, “Tyler, don’t.”

  He didn’t say a word. He just pulled her back against him, and let his erection nestle into her butt. His chest cushioned her shoulders.

  God, she wanted to melt into him. Wanted to stay in his arms forever.

  Wanted to feel him buried in her waiting heat.

  “Please. Let me go.” Her voice, though soft as a sigh, was astoundingly steady.

  He dropped his hands. She took two very fast steps away from him.

  Then another and another. His gaze burned through her back.

  Walking away from him was hard. Impossible. She took another step.

  Every impulse told her to go back. To throw caution to the wind.

  This was Ty.

  This was the man she loved.

  She took another step.

  This was her chance. The opportunity she’d waited for, for two long, long years. If she just turned around now, she could be his. She could make love to him again. And again. And again. Settle the longing between her legs, the throbbing ache that would not quit.

  She took another step.

  He loved her. he’d told her not five minutes ago. How could she leave?

  She stopped, turned around slowly and looked at him. His shirt still hung open, framing his heaving chest. She tore her gaze away from it and forced it higher until their eyes met.

  God, she loved him too. There was no way she could deny it. The attraction pulled at her. She took a step closer. Her hunger grew and spread. Her nipples tightened.

  Another step, and her panties became damper as her anticipation intensified.

  His face was raw with desire, his eyes midnight black. A muscle worked in his jaw as his breath became heavy, ragged.

  And then her phone rang.

  Ungh!

  Her scream was laced with pure frustration and guilt. She turned and fled down the corridor. This time he didn’t follow her.

  Less than an hour later Steve slipped into bed beside her.

  He wasn’t supposed to be there. They hadn’t arranged for him to spend the night. Mortified, she feigned sleep. Forced her breath out at regular, even intervals. Would he catch a whiff of Tyler’s aftershave in her hair? Feel the burn of shame on her skin?

  He curved his stomach to her back, molded his legs to hers and wrapped his arm around her waist. She waited until his body relaxed in slumber before rolling out of his reach. Guilt would not allow her the luxury of remaining in his embrace.

  EIGHT

  Katie dragged herself quietly out of bed and into the shower. From there she dragged herself to the basin and brushed her teeth. As she did so, she studied her reflection in the mirror critically, noting the bags beneath her bloodshot eyes. She looked like she felt a wreck.

  Steve had come to her last night. He never dropped by uninvited in the middle of the night. Why now? Had he been concerned when neither she nor Tyler answered their phones? Did a small part of him suspect something was up between his two friends? He wasn’t an idiot.

  he’d watched Tyler seduce her on the beach. He had to have picked up on the tension between them.

  Makeup helped hide the bags, and saline solution took away a little of the redness. Neither stopped the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. Even her oldest, most favorite pair of jeans didn’t make her feel better.

  She’d screwed up big-time. Nearly blown her life with Steve completely apart.

  As it was, she had to live with the ramifications of her wanton, lustful behavior. Sure, she may not have slept with Tyler, but the intention had been there. Oh sweet Lord, had the intention been there.

  She’d begged him to fuck her. Dragged him out of the theater in her haste to get him naked and feel his body filling hers. If their phones hadn’t rung when they had… Okay, so she and Tyler hadn’t actually had sex, but she’d stood half-dressed in a hotel room while a man who was not her fiancé made love to her breasts, and she’d urged him on.

  Even as she thought about it, her nipples tingled and beaded. She could almost feel the moist heat of his tongue as it circled her tight nubs.

  Whimpering out loud, she crossed her arms over her now-tender chest and sat heavily on the side of the bathtub, images from the night before swimming through her mind.

  In a futile effort to repress the thoughts, she dropped her head to her knees. The same knees she’d considered dropping to before Tyler last night.

  Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it. Steve’s next door.

  For God’s sake, she couldn’t even berate herself for her actions without getting turned on. She had very nearly destroyed her and Steve’s relationship for a night of immediate satisfaction. What kind of a person was she? What kind of a woman would do that to the man she loved? Because she did love Steve. Dearly. He was her best friend, her confidant, her partner.

  But he wasn’t Tyler, goddamn it.

  He didn’t fill her head with images of naked lovers and intertwined limbs.

  With skin slick with passion and satisfaction. He didn’t make her body weep with need or her breasts tingle with awareness. With Steve there wasn’t the voracious hunger of an unfed beast, or the brutal compulsion to satisfy her gluttony.

  With Steve there was comfort, joy and gratification. There was never the uncontrollable lust she felt for Tyler. Never.

  Okay, enough. She’d debated this in her head the whole night. She couldn’t think about it anymore. Not for another minute. Not for one more second.

  She’d make some food. Wake Steve up with breakfast in bed. She hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and her stomach growled in objection. Perhaps she’d feel better about things after a good meal.

  Huh, fat chance.

  She crept out of the bathroom, and nearly jumped out of her skin when Steve said, “Morning, babe.”

  Katie slapped a hand over her heart. “Christ, you scared the wits out of me. I didn’t know you were awake.”

  He gave her a sluggish smile. “You try sleeping next to the world’s most restless woman.”

  “I’m sorry. I tossed and turned a little too much, didn’t I?” Shit.

  She’d figured he’d slept solidly through the night.

  He yawned, sat up and stretched. “S’okay. It’s worth it if I get to sleep next to you.”

  She smiled as tenderness for him rose in her chest. “How is Mr.

  Benson?”

  Steve shook his head. “He died. At about ten thirty last night.”

  Around the same time she and Tyler were wrapped in each other’s arms. Bile filled her throat. Steve was farewelling a patient and she was seducing Tyler. “I’m sorry. I know you’d grown fond of him.” She was sorry for much more than that, but she couldn’t tell him.

  “Yeah, thanks, babe. I was sorry too. At least the suffering’s over.”
/>   “Mrs. Benson doing okay?”

  “She’s sad, but she’s known it was coming for a while. They said their goodbyes before he slipped away.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. Death was an integral part of their work, yet she knew Steve was deeply affected by the passing of his patients. Perhaps last night he’d come to her seeking comfort and not because he suspected her of wrongdoing.

  If so, then she’d failed him twice. First when she had done wrong, and second when she’d pretended to sleep when she should have consoled him instead. She felt like the lowest form of life. It might be too late, but she sat beside him on the bed now, leaned over and hugged him, offering him this morning what she hadn’t last night.

  Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She held him tighter, suddenly terrified to let go. If she held him long enough, perhaps she could banish her thoughts of Tyler forever. Perhaps she could pretend last night had never happened.

  “Hey, babe?” He ran his hand over her hair.

  “Hmm?” Her voice was muffled because her mouth was tucked against his shoulder.

  “If I’m the one who lost a patient, why are you acting like someone’s died?”

  His tone exposed his concern.

  She blanched and clutched him tighter, refusing to answer. What could she say?

  “Wanna talk about it?” he offered gently.

  She had trouble looking him in the eye, so she kept her head buried against his shoulder. It was a beautifully sculpted shoulder. Not quite as broad as Tyler’s, but beautiful nevertheless. “About what?” she asked.

  “Whatever’s worrying you.”

  She shook her head. “Nothing’s worrying me. I’m fine.”

  “I know you better than that. What’s going on?”

  Again, she didn’t answer. Shame stole her voice.

  Steve stroked her hair, and she hated how much reassurance she gleaned from his touch.

  “Has Tyler upset you in some way?”

  Katie swallowed a gasp. “Tyler?”

  “You’ve been stressed since he stepped off the plane.”

  Oh jeez. She should tell him. She should come right out with it now and confess that she and Tyler had once been lovers. That last night they’d almost become lovers again. Instinctively she knew she couldn’t tell him about last night. Not yet. It was still too fresh in her mind.

  Too raw. But, at the very least he deserved to know the truth about Tyler and her past.

  She didn’t say anything.

  It wasn’t just that Tyler had asked her not to. Truth was, she was too much of a coward to confess everything now two years after the fact. The time to tell him should have been after Tyler left. Or maybe even when they had discussed marriage for the first time. Not now, when Tyler’s reappearance was creating havoc with her life and with her relationship with Steve.

  She squeezed him once more, then pushed herself off the bed.

  Disgrace forced her out of his arms. Damn it! Where did her loyalties lie? With the man who’d helped build her dreams who partnered her in her medical practice, and now in her life? The man who’d solidified her present and promised her a future?

  Or with the man who’d shattered her heart two years ago?

  “Kate.” Steve’s voice was soft as he rolled over to look at her.

  “What’s going on?”

  “It is Tyler.” The words burst out of her mouth, and she regretted them the instant she said them. “He I… I…” Oh fuck. Chicken as she was, she couldn’t bring herself to divulge the truth. Not about her and Tyler.

  She improvised. “I’m not sure how to act around you when he’s here.

  I thought everything would be normal, everything would be like it used to between the three of us. But it’s not. We’ve all changed.” She didn’t have a frigging clue how to handle all the secrets and changes that had taken place. “I’m marrying his best friend. We’re not a circle of three anymore, Steve. It’s us and Tyler.”

  For a while the us had been her and Tyler while Steve stood on the sidelines. But there hadn’t been time to face the repercussions of that grouping. Ty had left before it could affect their friendship.

  How do I sleep with you when Tyler’s next door? How do I ask you to leave because Tyler’s staying here? How do I stop myself from sleeping with Tyler when you aren’t around?

  Steve nodded and sighed. “Give it time, Kate. Ty’s just come home.

  We all have to adapt to the changes.” He sat up, positioned the pillows behind his back and looked at her intently. “I’m struggling with it too.

  Of all the scenarios I pictured when we were younger, this was never one I would have imagined.” He gave her a shy smile. “It’s funny. I always figured you and Tyler would be the ones to get to married.”

  She froze. “You did?”

  “Yeah, babe. I did.” He held her gaze. Wouldn’t let her turn away from him.

  “I always suspected there was something between the two of you.

  Never really understood why nothing happened.”

  Katie gaped at him. he’d sensed the underlying sexual tension between them all along and never mentioned it. Her heart lurched. If he’d sensed it before, he must have picked up on it now. Which meant Steve hadn’t just come to her for comfort last night.

  There was no blame or accusation in his words, simply an acknowledgement of his comprehension. He wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable. He was just letting her know he knew. Still she didn’t respond.

  He let her off the hook. “It was a long time ago. When I was with Pen.” He laughed and shook his head, looking a little surprised. “Turned out a little differently from what I expected, didn’t it? You know, I always assumed we’d all land up together. Me and Pen, and you and Ty.

  Two couples forming a new circle of friends. A circle of four.”

  “Look at us now. We’re not even a circle any more. It’s just you and me.” She gave an empty laugh. “We’re a semicircle.”

  He stood and pulled her back into his arms. She leaned into his sturdy warmth. “There’s nothing semi about us, babe. We have what it takes to make a great future together.”

  Steve was right. They did have what it took. She loved standing like this snug in his embrace. It went a long way to soothe her ragged passions, to reinforce her commitment to him. Katie almost wished he’d make a move on her. Perhaps if they made love now, she’d be able to banish all thoughts of Tyler from her mind, once and for all.

  Perhaps not. For all the intimacy and tenderness in Steve’s hug, the one thing missing at that moment was desire. They loved each other, she had no doubt but did she love him enough to overcome her hunger for Tyler?

  Steve went to shower while Katie went to make breakfast. She opened the bedroom door and at once was assailed by a waft of toasting bread and fresh coffee.

  What the…?

  Her heart plummeted. Tyler stood by the kitchen counter. His faded jeans hugged his ass lovingly, clearly defining the taut, hard flesh beneath the soft denim. It was all she could do to stand immobile at the door and not walk in, cup his butt with her hands and mold her fingers to the mouthwatering curves.

  She’d already made that mistake once. As much as she wanted to press herself close to his back, shape her hips to the contour of his butt and squash her breasts into the muscle around his ribs, she didn’t.

  She forced her gaze upwards, along his navy T-shirt, and her eyes snagged on the broad width of his shoulders. Shoulders that last night she’d nuzzled into as he’d carried her down the long passageway towards his hotel room. The muscles in them had bunched as she’d kissed his neck, nibbled the salty skin on his chin. Tension had run through them as she’d urged him into his room.

  She watched fascinated as he lifted his arm and waved at her without turning around.

  “Morning, Katie.”

  “Tyler?” God, how could he sound so casual after last night? “You I… I didn’t expect to find you here.”

&nbs
p; He turned around, smiled at her and held out a plate with two pieces of toast, both smothered in peanut butter and jam. Another favorite of hers.

  “You forget? We have a date.”

  “A date?” After what had happened between them, he was talking about a date?

  Was he kidding?

  Apparently not. Not by the look on his face.

  “It’s Sunday morning,” he said by way of explanation, and when she still drew a blank, because frankly her mind wasn’t working at full speed, he added, “Time for your surprise outing.”

  Of course. Her surprise. Yet another one in Tyler’s little bag of tricks. As if the motorbike hadn’t been enough, there was their, er, unexpected encounter last night, and now to top it off, something waiting on the sidelines for this morning.

  “You’re joking, right?” She ignored his extended hand, ignored the plate he offered her.

  “Why would I joke? I planned this days ago. It’ll be brilliant. A pure adrenalin rush.” He set the plate on the tiny kitchen table and pulled out a chair for her. “Eat up. I’ll get the coffee.”

  He brushed past her on the way to the espresso machine, sending waves of heat spiraling through her belly.

  “Tyler?”

  He paused, mug in hand, and turned to face her.

  “What are you doing?” Surely he couldn’t be so unaffected by their close call last night? By the intensity of their desire?

  “I told you. Making coffee. We need to leave in about twenty minutes.”

  Was he being purposely dense? “Why are you doing this?” She gaped at him.

  He looked confused. “Doing what?”

  “Acting like this?” Like he used to, in the old days. Before their relationship had become so complicated. She looked over her shoulder to check the kitchen door and listened carefully to the sound of running water.

  Tyler’s gaze followed hers. His eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. She lowered her voice. “Acting as if nothing happened between us?

  As if we didn’t almost sleep together?” There. She’d said it.

  He shrugged, keeping an eye on the open door. “How else would you like me to act? We almost slept together, but we didn’t.”

  “I… Oh…” She couldn’t answer. Didn’t know how to cope with his nonchalance.