Only Tyler

by Jess Dee

  “You don‘t love me.”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Not like you loved Tyler.”

  “We never, for one minute, pretended our marriage would be something it isn’t. Of course I don’t love you the way I loved Tyler.

  You’re not Tyler. You’re Steve. My best friend, the man who worked with me to make my dreams come true. I love you for that.”

  “We opened a practice together, Kate. that’s all.”

  “No, that isn’t all. You knew how important having my own practice was to me. You knew it was a lifelong dream. I could never have done it without you.”

  “Is that why you re marrying me? Because I helped you achieve your dream?”

  “If my best friend could help me attain my life’s goal, then he’d have to be pretty good marriage material, don’t you think? Besides” she smiled at him, “you’re a stud, and you make me happy.”

  He didn’t return her smile. “I’m still stuck on the fact that you never told me, Kate. I can’t get past it.”

  “I couldn’t tell you, Steve. Tyler asked me not to,” she said in desperation.

  Steve froze. “Excuse me?”

  Shit. She hadn’t meant to tell him that. It was one thing betraying Tyler by telling Steve about them, it was another to blame him for not saying anything in the first place. He said it was important that you not find out. “I honestly think he had a good reason for not telling you, I just don’t know what it was. He won’t tell me.”

  Steve swore. “This is doing my head in.” He stood and walked to the door.

  “I’m not… I’m not okay with this, Kate. I can’t pretend I am.”

  “Wait!” Alarm jolted through her. “Where are you going?”

  “Anywhere that’s not here.”

  “Please don’t leave.” They couldn’t settle anything if he walked out.

  “We need to talk about this some more.”

  “We will. But not now.”

  “Then when?”

  “When I’ve got my head around this mess.”

  Okay, he needed time. She could deal with that couldn’t she? “Will I see you at work?”

  “No. Yes. Shit, I don’t know, Kate. I’ll be there, but I need space.”

  “Tonight?”

  He shook his head and said very slowly, “I will not sleep in your bed while Tyler is living in your house.”

  She nodded helplessly she couldn’t blame him.

  He opened the door.

  “Steve,” she said as he stepped outside.

  He turned to look at her.

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry we never told you.” She wasn’t just sorry.

  She was deeply, deeply remorseful.

  He frowned. “Yeah, babe. Me too.” And then he was gone.

  Today was the day. Tyler would wait no longer. It was time to tell Katie why he’d left her. Not that he relished the idea. Damn, he detested it, detested the weaknesses he’d reveal about himself. Hated the pain he knew he’d see in her face pain he had caused her. But there was no choice. he’d come home to tell Katie the truth and to see if he stood a chance with her.

  It would be unfair of him to lump the whole damn confession on her shoulders a few minutes before she set off for work. The issues were too big to discuss over a quick breakfast. Tyler preferred to warn her now that they needed to talk, so that when she got home she’d be ready to listen.

  He knocked on her bedroom door, knowing Steve wouldn’t open it.

  His friend had left a couple hours earlier in a hurry.

  The door was flung open seconds later. Katie stood before him in a baby pink terrycloth robe.

  “Oh,” she said, and her face fell. “I… I thought you were Steve.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you.” Or was he the one who was disappointed?

  “I need to talk to you about something.”

  In an unusual display of discourtesy, Katie turned away from him without answering and stalked across to her wardrobe. After staring into its depths for several minutes, she grabbed a dress, pulled it out, inspected it, then shoved it none too neatly back inside. She took out another dress, gave it a cursory glance then jammed it in the cupboard.

  She did the same with two skirts, two pairs of pants and four shirts.

  The more she did it, the more harried her actions were and the less ordered her shelves became. She didn’t seem to care.

  Right. She was good and mad about something. What? Was it connected to Steve’s hasty departure?

  Finally she threw a pair of black pants and a white blouse on her bed. They landed in a heap beside her panties and bra. White lace panties and a matching bra. Tyler tried not to stare at them but had little success. The panties were no more than a wisp of lace held together by a thread of cotton.

  The thought of the less-than-virginal underwear on the red-hot and furious Katie raised his blood pressure dangerously.

  Ah, Christ. It was never a good idea to start a serious conversation off with an erection. “Katie?”

  She turned to look at him and her face hardened. “You’re still here.”

  “Yes,” and feeling most welcome too thank you. “I have to discuss something with you.”

  “No,” she lashed out viciously. “There is nothing you have to discuss with me. Nothing! Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear it.

  Not anymore. Got it?”

  Fuck, where had that come from? “I get that you’re angry,” he said calmly, his mind frantically wondering what had her so worked up.

  “Angry, huh?” She raised an eyebrow. “You think?”

  “Do you want to talk about it? Steve?”

  “No, Tyler. I’m through talking to you. The only thing I want is for you to pack your bags and get the hell out of my house.”

  His gut lurched. Jesus, he hadn’t seen that one coming. Only last night she’d insisted she had as much time for him as he needed. “What happened, Katie? he asked quietly. Why are you so upset?”

  His composure seemed to fire her up more. “You happened, that’s what.”

  “Me?”

  “You came home.” Waves of fury radiated from her. “You interfered with my relationship with Steve. Now I want you to go. I want you to walk away and not come back.” She pursed her lips. “Got it?”

  Yep Steve. “Did you have a fight?” That would explain why he’d been in such a hurry to leave this morning.

  “Yes, you dickhead. We had a fight.”

  Her rage intrigued him. Steve and Katie never fought they had intellectual arguments. They logically debated every aspect of a problem until they came up with a solution that suited them both. This morning’s debate must have been a humdinger. he’d never heard her use the word dickhead before, and certainly not in reference to him. “Did you fight over me?”

  “Is that what you want to hear, Tyler?” Her eyes flashed. “That my fiancé and I argued over you?”

  Yes, damn it. It meant his presence somehow hindered their relationship. It explained why Katie wanted him out of the house although God knew he was not leaving. Not if he could help it. “Did you?”

  She gave him an angelic smile. “Actually, yes. I told Steve that you and I were once lovers and he didn’t take too kindly to the news.”

  “Holy fuck! You told him? Please say you didn’t.”

  “I’m sick of keeping secrets, Tyler. I refuse to do it anymore.

  Especially when it affects a man I love very dearly.”

  The desperation and distress in her eyes shook him. It had never occurred to him how difficult withholding the truth from Steve would be for her. “Katie,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry I lumped that burden on you. It wasn’t fair of me.”

  “Well isn’t that just sugary sweet of you to say?” The vulnerability was gone. Sarcasm dripped from her voice. What had he expected?

  That she’d accept his apology and it would make two years of living a lie okay for her? “Now that you’ve expressed your regret
, everything can be hunky-dory all over again. Now I’m sure Steve will have no problem with us having hidden our relationship from him.”

  Her words hit home, reminding him again that the secret he’d tried so hard to keep was out. Steve knew the facts.

  How much longer could Tyler hide the rest of the story from him?

  His jaw clenched, and his stomach burned. How much longer could he protect his friend from a reality he had no idea existed? How how did he react?

  “He kissed me thoughtfully and told me he was thrilled by the news and hoped you’d been a good lover.” Then she snarled. “How the fuck do you think he reacted?”

  Jesus, he hadn’t expected this. He’d planned to tell Steve himself well as much as he could anyway after he’d spoken to Katie. “He was upset.”

  “You might say that.”

  “You’re upset.”

  “No, Tyler, I’m not upset. I am furious. With myself and with you. I should never, ever have kept it from Steve in the first place.”

  Bile burned his throat. Katie was right.

  She stalked around her room. “And you… you…” She glowered at him. “Fuck, you should never have come back. What are you doing here anyway? Besides trying to screw up my life?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer. “He won’t return. My fiancé won’t sleep in my bed until you’ve moved out.” She pivoted around and stuck a finger out at him. “You have to go. Today. I won’t compromise my marriage for you.”

  Too late. It looked as though she already had. There was no way she could be this furious with him if the passion they’d once shared had abated. Yes, she hated the fact that she’d hurt Steve, but was that the real issue at play here?

  “What’s bothering you, Katie? The fact that Steve’s upset by our history, or the fact that you are?”

  Her shoulders stiffened. “You’re bothering me, Bonnard. You came back home, you threw our past in my face, and then you expected me to hide it from Steve. Well, I won’t stand for it anymore. Got it?”

  “What won’t you stand for, Katie? Our past? Our secrets? Or the desire for me that you can’t suppress, not matter how hard you try?”

  “Fuck you, Tyler.”

  “That’s the real problem, isn’t it? That’s exactly what you want to do, and you can’t because of Steve. You want to fuck me. You want to tear that gown off, and rip off my clothes and fuck me for the next week.” Get a grip, Tyler. That’s what you want.

  “I want you to leave.” Her voice bordered on hysterical.

  “Do you?” He stepped closer, grabbed her arm and hauled her against him. “Do you really? Or do you want me to finish what we started in my hotel room?”

  “Go!” Her heart galloped against his chest. Her expression was wild.

  He shook his head violently, muttered an oath and crushed his lips to hers.

  There was only one reason she was so worked up, and it wasn’t Steve Sommers, goddamn it. It was him. He was the one she wanted in her bed, and they both knew it.

  She whimpered beneath his assault.

  He tore his mouth away. “Tell me you don’t want this.”

  She stared at him with glazed eyes, her lips puffy from his kiss.

  “Damn it, Katie, tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll pack my bags faster than you can blink.”

  She opened her mouth. “I…”

  “Say it, Katie, and I will never interfere in your and Steve’s relationship again.”

  “I…” Her voice broke.

  “Katie…”

  “Tyler…”

  He kissed her again, brutally and she kissed him right back. Her tongue attacked his as he sought entrance to her mouth. She shook in his arms, and dug her nails into his shoulders. The scratches burned, but not as much as the need throbbing through him.

  His heart beat a jagged rhythm as he shoved her gown off.

  Holy crap. She was naked in his arms. He wanted to feel her breasts in his hands, but they were flattened against his chest. Her bare hips ground into his. Jesus, he didn’t think he’d ever been harder in his life.

  She wrenched her lips from his. “Goddamn it, Tyler. I hate you.”

  His dick hurt like blazes, and his balls screamed for liberation. “No, you don t, Katie. You love me. that’s why you’re so angry.”

  Katie stared daggers at him. “You’re destroying my life.”

  Although it almost killed him, he disentangled himself from her arms. His throat filled with sawdust, making speech difficult. “I’ll leave, Katie. If that’s what you want. I’ll pack my bags and go and never disturb you again.”

  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Her naked breasts heaved before him, provoking him.

  “But…” He drew breath into airless lungs. “Before I do, I need to tell you my story and you need to hear it. For your sake and Steve’s.”

  He needed to apologize too, for hurting her with his silence.

  “I’m not interested.”

  “Yes, my sweet, you are.”

  “I refuse to listen to anything you have to say to me now.”

  “Then I won’t say it now.” He edged back towards the door, staring the whole time at her beautiful, bare body. “Meet me here at five this afternoon.” His shoulder bumped the doorframe. “I’ll tell you everything then.”

  Before she had the chance to tell him where to shove his story, he left. His tortured dick yelled its wrath, but he couldn’t stay. Couldn’t spend another second in the room while the woman he loved stood butt naked before him. If he did, he would not be able to honor his best friend by keeping his hands to himself.

  TEN

  Kate spent half of her day agonizing over Steve and the other half detesting Tyler.

  A million times she stood to go to Steve’s office, and a million times she sat back down. He did not want to see her and she didn’t know what she’d say to him. didn’t know how to make it better between them. She couldn’t give him any of the reassurances she knew she should offer, because frankly, she wasn’t feeling quite so reassured herself.

  What did Tyler have to tell her that was so important? Did she even giving a flying hoot?

  Argh!

  Of course she did. Hadn’t she noticed last night? Tyler was hurting.

  He hid some painful secret, and yes, darn it, she did want to know about it. Did it have something to do with all the risks he’d been taking lately?

  By four that afternoon she was a mess. She couldn’t stand to be with herself anymore. A run. She needed to get on the road and work off her frustration and her desperation and her confusion. Steve wouldn’t miss her if she left now. Hell, he wouldn’t even notice she was gone.

  A quick check of her day planner revealed no emergencies. She grabbed her purse, asked Tina to reschedule the rest of her appointments and went home.

  Her house however, did not offer the comfort she’d sought. It taunted her with Tyler’s promise to meet her back here. She shouldn’t want to hear his story. She wasn’t interested anymore. Was she?

  His possessions, scattered through the rooms, mocked her bravado.

  So what?

  So, she’d told him to leave it didn’t mean she wanted him to go. Did it?

  Yes, damn it. It did. He had to move out. Her engagement didn’t stand a chance if Tyler continued living with her.

  She let out a growl borne of pure frustration and pulled on her running clothes. If she couldn’t stop her tortured thoughts with logic, she’d overcome them with exhaustion. She’d run away from Tyler’s story and from Steve’s disappointment and from her own bamboozled thoughts. Hell, she’d run so hard and so fast her thoughts wouldn’t be able to keep up with her. She’d run until she couldn’t run anymore.

  Maybe, just maybe, by then her head would be a little clearer and she’d know what she’d have to do.

  She shoved her hair into a haphazard ponytail, yanked open the front door and collided with a solid mass.

  Tyler.

  “Ouch! Damn it,” she cr
ied as her nose smacked into Tyler’s chin.

  Shit, what was he doing here now? She hadn’t even heard his bike.

  “You okay, my sweet?” Tyler rubbed his chin.

  “No,” she wasn’t okay. She was all screwed up, and it was his fault.

  “Don’t call me that,” she snapped and took a step backward. They were too close.

  Every time he breathed, his shirt scraped against her breasts, taunting them mercilessly.

  “What? My sweet?” Tyler asked, his voice dangerously low. “That’s what you are. The sweetest thing that ever happened to me.” He stepped forward and closed the space between them.

  Uh-uh. No way. Once today was enough. She stepped back. “I am your best friend’s fiancé.”

  A muscle jumped in his jaw. “The relationship’s a farce. You don’t love him.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, mate.”

  Tyler’s smile challenged her protest. “Do you dream about him at night?”

  “What?” She swallowed.

  “Does he make you burn for his touch?”

  “I…” Shit!

  “Do his lips make you moan the way mine do?” His voice was gruff.

  Her eyes fixed on his mouth. “Tyler, please…” Liquid heat gathered between her legs.

  His breathing deepened. “Does the feel of his hand on your breasts make your nipples bead?”

  Her breasts tightened painfully beneath his hot gaze. “Shut up, Bonnard.”

  “Does his touch make you hot and wet” he watched her shift in discomfort, “like mine does?”

  She couldn’t speak. The words jammed in her throat. Oxygen seemed sparse, unavailable.

  “Does it, sweet Katie?”

  “I mean it, shut up,” she growled.

  “Does it, Katie?”

  “Fuck you, Tyler.”

  “Katie…”

  “No!” The word was wrenched from her gut.

  Tyler muttered something nonsensical seconds before he melded his mouth to hers. The action was primal, a man responding on instinct.

  This was no slow, sensual exploration of tenderness. This was the behavior of a male marking his territory, staking his claim. Tyler branded her, made her his and allowed no space for argument.