Trusting Eternity (The Sullivan Vampires, Volume 2

by Bridget Essex

  I glanced down, and I watched my fingers as they traced the contours of her belly, drawing soft patterns as I trailed my fingertips up and over her skin, up to her breasts. Her nipples were hard against my fingers as I brushed over them with my hot skin. Her cold and my heat together made for a decadent combination, and Kane’s eyelashes fluttered before she closed her eyes, opened her mouth—breathed out into the stillness.

  I still straddled her hips, and her skin was slick beneath my center. I trailed my first finger down, down, over her, until it was beneath me. I moved through my own wetness, dragging some down with my fingertips, until my hand was entirely between us, and my fingers were at her center.

  God, she was so wet. I flushed when I felt her wetness, flushed with desire that I didn’t even know I had in me, it was so powerful, so complete. I moved off of her, to the side, and I lay down beside her, my full length against her, putting my weight on my left elbow as I leaned over her, gazing down at her beautiful face, her beautiful body, every inch of her muscled, milk-white skin something that called to me like we’d done this so many times before.

  But we…hadn’t. This was our very first time, the moment I’d been waiting for subconsciously (and also very much consciously) since I’d first met Kane Sullivan. We had never been together before tonight. But as I trailed my fingertips down over her belly again, as she spread her legs for me, drawing her right leg up and over my hips to open herself as much as she could to me, I drew my fingers over her wetness, and I was shocked at how familiar a sensation this was, this touch, this sweetness on my fingers, her body already asking beneath my hand as her hips began to move in a rhythm, even before I began earnestly touching her.

  Maybe it was because of Anna, I thought, as I brushed my fingertips over her center again. I was teasing Kane, I knew, and she moaned a little, her hand going quickly to my wrist as she stared up at me, her jaw clenched. She pushed my hand down, over her center insistently, but I drew my fingers over her lightly again, like I was playing an instrument, and I was just plucking the first few chords to warm up.

  Why did this seem so familiar? Yes, Anna and I had moved like this, me on my elbow beside her, her leg thrown over my body to allow my hand whatever it wanted, opening herself fully to me. We’d moved together just like this…but it wasn’t the familiarity or pain of Anna that I thought of when I stared down at Kane.

  Have you ever gotten déjà vu so pronounced, so powerful, that you had to stand still for a long moment, your heart thundering inside of you as you wonder what the hell that could possibly have been, that feeling that you had already been here, done this, whatever “this” was, before? I had gotten déjà vu so many times in my life, so many times, and it was an almost uncomfortable feeling, it was so powerful.

  But at that moment, it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. It was just…weird.

  And it was the most powerful déjà vu I’d ever felt.

  “Rose?” Kane whispered, and I started, glancing down at her as I fully came back to the moment.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, giving her a soft smile as I lay my hand against her belly. “I just…I was just… This feels a little weird, don’t you think?” She stared up at me, her brows furrowing, and I shook my head quickly. “Good weird,” I told her, my words coming fast. “But doesn’t it seem like we’ve done this before? Kinda like déjà vu a little.”

  Kane’s eyes burned deeply into mine. “I feel it, too,” she admitted, her voice low. “Like we’ve done this before. But we haven't, obviously,” she said with a soft chuckle. But her eyes told me that she wasn’t so sure.

  “Maybe,” I told her, getting up and moving slowly, prowling on my hands and knees to crouch between her legs. I gave her a mischievous smile now, glancing up at her as I put my head to the side. “Maybe we met each other in our dreams before. I know I’ve dreamed about you a lot.”

  Kane gazed up at me, her arm still pillowed beneath her head, her breasts rising and falling as her breath quickened. “I have dreamed of you, too,” she told me, her voice soft and full of longing. “I have dreamed of you so much.”

  “You have?” I asked her, placing my hands on her knees, tracing my fingers over her thighs. I paused for a moment, surprised. “What have you dreamed about?” I whispered.

  “This moment,” she said, her eyes narrowed as she considered her words thoughtfully. “Your soft, red hair against my thigh,” she said, her voice low, growling. I placed a kiss against her thigh, and then I pillowed my cheek there, staring up at her, my heart thundering through every part of me as desire flooded my cells. She breathed out, licked her lips and spread her legs a little wider as she reached for me with her other hand. I took her hand, and I kissed its palm, its knuckles…each finger, smelling my scent on her skin and feeling desire roar through me like lightning now, too quick, too insistent.

  I needed her.

  “I dreamed of your mouth,” she whispered, her voice thick with need. “I dreamed of your tongue.”

  I glanced one last time into her beautiful, black eyes. I memorized the way her mouth was open, her full lips wet, her chest rising and falling in the stillness quickly as she reached for me, threading her fingers through my hair. I laid down on my belly, pressing kisses to the extraordinarily soft skin of her thighs, inhaling the scent of her, the sweet, perfumed scent of her skin, of the jasmine and spice merging with the scent of her wetness. All of it came together, spiraling into an aroma that made my entire body come alive. I lowered my mouth to her glistening center. I inhaled deeply. And I kissed her there.

  It started as a soft kiss, close-mouthed, tender…and then my mouth opened, and my tongue entered her folds in one first, curious exploration. I tasted her on my tongue, and my eyes rolled back a little, and my breathing quickened, and I sighed out against her, causing her fingers to tighten in my hair, twisting strands around each finger so that her hand was as close to my scalp as she could get.

  She tasted like perfection, a sweet muskiness that was cold, like snow, melting on the tongue, and precious, like a lick of a silver spoon, the sweet tang of metal somehow merging with the crisp cold. She tasted like these things, yes, but she also tasted like…well, like Kane.

  And I knew I’d tasted her before.

  It was impossible, of course. Of course I’d never been here, lying between her legs like a worshipful supplicant, tasting a divine being, her fingers in my hair. But I felt like I had, and that’s what made me pause for a moment, tasting her for that first time, breathing in her scent, feeling the softness of her thighs beneath my hands, her wetness on my nose, my mouth, my chin. It was all so familiar, and in its familiarity, it was disconcerting.

  But Kane’s fingers threaded through my hair a little deeper, pushing my face gently against her, urging me, asking me with her hands, with her faster breathing, with her soft, deep moan that was meant for me and only me. Kane brought me back to the moment, and in the moment I stayed as I inhaled her again, lifting my chin and tasting her once more. The déjà vu feeling faded away as I lapped at her center, drawing her wetness back up to her clit.

  When my tongue touched her clit that first time, a spasm raked through her body. She hadn’t told me if vampire bodies were any different from human bodies, apart from the fact that their incisors lengthened and their eyes darkened when they were aroused. I didn’t know what to expect, or how, exactly, to bring her to orgasm (I was assuming that this was something vampires could do, too, but what if I was wrong?), but I went into it with my whole heart, wanting to feel her muscles contract, wanting to feel her hands tighten in my hair. I wanted to hear her cry out my name, and I wanted to make her feel as good as she’d made me feel.

  So I teased her, and I touched her; I tasted her, and I drew out of her moans and hisses into the half-light as she tightened her grip in my hair, as she pushed my head down against her mound, as she whispered my name into the stillness between us. All we were, in those moments, was a tangle of two bodies, learning the slopes and curves of
each other, and all I was seemed to disappear as we merged, Kane and I.

  And then she did cry out my name, her fingers so tight in my hair that I sighed as she came, her fingers wound up in my wavy tangles, my fingers deep inside of her, my mouth kissing her and tempting her, and drawing out of her a voice I’d never heard before. It was deep and dark and a low, perfect growl, as she whispered that single syllable into the air:

  “Rose,” she said, and she whispered it again, her entire body shaking, arching beneath me, as I kept going, as I urged more and more pleasure out of her until her thighs quivered against my ears, and she tugged on my hair, pulling me up. And I came up, then, crawling on top of her to lie out my length over hers. She wrapped her arms tightly around me, and we stayed like that until I started to shiver—not from pleasure, but because I was so cold. The room was chill, and she was chill, too, so I tugged on the duvet and pulled it on top of us, covering us both. And in that tight cocoon, my body heat began to warm Kane. And her body took on my heat and became almost like mine—warm to the touch.

  Almost human.

  Kane kissed my face, tasting herself on me as she smiled against my mouth. When she pulled back, when she gazed up at me, there was such softness to her features. Like she was, for the first time since I’d known her, well and truly happy.

  And that, above all other things, filled my heart with a searing joy.

  Joy. I remembered that emotion, but I hadn’t felt it over half a year. And I’d never felt joy like this. It was as if light itself had moved through my bloodstream, filling every part of me with something that glimmered, like gold. I stared down at her, and I brushed the pad of my thumb over her high cheekbone, over her jawline, over her full lips. She stared up at me, her black eyes slowly, as I watched, becoming blue again, the blue blossoming up in the darkness like light on the surface of the sea, seen from far, far below.

  Like the light of the sun, seen by a drowning man.

  “Rose,” Kane whispered, moving her lips against my thumb softly, slowly, and I straightened a little, gazing down at her.

  “Yes,” I told her, not a question. I loved, so much, when she spoke my name, but I loved it even more when we were heart to heart, when she was naked against me, when our bodies were entwined so I wasn’t sure where I began or she ended, or if we were still merged.

  “I love you,” Kane told me then.

  They were quiet, those three words that came from her mouth, low and still. There was no preamble, no big buildup. She’d been silent one moment, and then into the silence between us, those three words were born.

  I stared down at her, feeling my heart thrum against my bones, feeling the heat of my body warm hers, too, and I felt the depth of those words, felt the strength and power of them as I breathed out, as she held me close.

  For a long moment, I couldn’t speak, I was so overcome. With emotion, with completion…with love. Because I had been falling in love with Kane Sullivan from the very first moment I walked through the enormous front doors of the Sullivan Hotel. My life had seemed, for so long, to be harsh and hard and unlivable. For so long, I’d been going through each day with a hopelessness so profound that I’d felt completely empty.

  But I no longer felt empty. Right then and there, I felt so full of love that the emptiness began to fill up with something beautiful.

  Love is a seed, and from that seed, once planted, anything can grow. I knew, in that moment, that no matter what happened between Kane and me, love had changed me.

  I was changed for good.

  I blinked back tears, and I touched her face gently, cupping it in both my hands. “I love you, too,” I told her then, and my voice caught on the ends of those words, but they were the truth. The truth that ran through every inch of me, the truth that felt as vibrant and bright and white-hot as a star.

  Had I only known Kane for a few days? Yes. Yes, it had just been a few days. But it felt like a lifetime, like I’d known her laughter, her smile, her touch, her hands, her kiss, for so much longer than a few days.

  Could love grow in a few days? Did it matter? I didn’t know if it was possible, but I knew that, for myself, that’s exactly what had happened.

  From the very first moment that I’d met Kane Sullivan, I had been drawn to her inexorably. And now, the two of us were together.

  And it was the most natural, obvious, wonderful thing in this or any other world. My entire life, I had been moving, always, toward Kane. I’d never known it until that moment. We would have been drawn together if we’d been on opposite sides of the globe. No matter when, no matter how, I would always find her.

  We were meant to be.

  I knew it might be difficult, going forward. I knew that the world was going to be a difficult place to live in. I knew that Melody had threatened Kane; I knew that I was going to hurt Tommie with this… There were so many hard things ahead of us.

  But, right here and now, I lay down on top of Kane, felt her arms tighten around me, lay my head upon her heart, and I listened to the slow, steady beat, a rhythm that was so soothing and lovely to me that I was soon fast asleep.

  I loved Kane Sullivan with my whole heart. And no matter what happened after, in that moment, I knew perfect happiness.

  ---

  And I dreamed.

  I was in Kane’s arms, in bed with her, and it was the same bed, with the same oaken pillars at the corners of the mattress, the same room. Though I hadn’t had a chance to see much of it earlier, I knew it was the same room. But things were different from before. Off. I was wearing something filmy and gauzy and positively see-through, and Kane wore a man’s suit, but it was different, too. Older, somehow, with lace at her sleeves, and coattails.

  Her outfit looked a little Victorian.

  “Wake up, my love,” Kane told me teasingly, and when I glanced up at her face, I was surprised. I’d seen her happy, yes, happy in my arms…but this happiness she wore now, her face bright and light-filled, was a happiness that had never been tainted by deep loss. This was a happiness that was pure, unsullied by darkness and dark times. Her expression was as bright as if she were glowing from within, and though her face was the same, the same face I knew she had, the face I had just kissed and caressed, this one in the dream was a little different. Vampires can’t change, so why did she look somehow, impossibly…younger?

  “I am awake,” I told her with a soft smile, but my voice didn’t sound like my own. It was a dream; there would, of course, be some things that are different. But it bothered me…and I couldn’t quite put a finger on why it bothered me so very much, my different voice. But it did. I sat up, propping myself onto my elbows, as Kane rose over me, pressing her mouth to mine as she gathered my face in her hands, drawing me to her. She kissed me fiercely, with an energy and rigor that she’d never displayed in front of me before. Kane was very sedate; every move she made was calculated and careful. She expended no energy with her motions, and walked with dignity. And she had dignity here, too…

  But she also had excitement. Something that I’d wondered if Kane could even feel.

  “Do you forget what day it is?” she asked me mischievously, and then she teased her cool fingers under the edge of the top of my nightgown, drawing the fabric that gave, very easily, down over my breasts. I gasped against her as she lowered her head, as her white-gold hair swept around her shoulders—it was not done up in her usual ponytail, but loose, flowing around her like a waterfall—and her cold mouth found my left breast. She kissed me there passionately, her teeth becoming sharp against me, and when I gazed into her eyes again, I realized they were darkening.

  “Not again,” I chided her, laughing, shaking my head. “You forget, my love—I am not like you. My human body tires, needs nourishment.”

  Kane stared down at me, her eyes softening. “I will nourish you,” she told me, her voice gruff, her fingers soft against my skin. I closed my eyes, reached up, placed my hand on top of hers and cradled it to my cheek.

  “You always do,”
I told her, the absolute truth. My heart beat quicker inside of me, and I was so full of love at that moment that I was made breathless by it. As I stared up at this woman arching over me, touching me with such tenderness and affection…I felt like I could die, I was so happy.

  “What day is it?” I asked her then. Her eyes flicked up to mine, and she smiled against me as she bent her beautiful head back toward my heart.

  “It’s the day of the Conference,” she said.

  And somehow, everything…changed.

  I was no longer in bed, with Kane on top of me, holding me close. Instead, I was in front of a standing mirror, turning this way and that, looking at my bright red dress and making small adjustments to the little details. The black lace along my creamy shoulders needed to be straightened.

  I couldn’t quite look at my face, or, at least, I couldn’t see my face in the mirror. It was surreal as my fingers turned the lace to be the right-side out, and I tried very hard to look at my own reflection…but the mirror was clouded above my shoulders, and there was nothing to be seen.

  I heard raised voices, which gave me pause. Had I even heard anything? They sounded so far away and distant…but, yes, there they were again, out in the hallway, raised voices. They sounded so familiar. I turned, lifting up my massive skirts and trying to move through our bedroom toward the door, but it was as if I were moving through quicksand. My breath started coming short, and fear rose through me, thick and black, and when my hand finally closed around the doorknob, I knew that something was very wrong.

  The doorknob was hot to the touch. So hot that I screamed.