Ignite Me: Shards of Glass, Part One

by Mills, L. C.

  I watched as his fingers turned it around on my wrist.

  “Ah yes, I see the little details on it now! These are quite vintage in effect I suppose! Very popular in the 90s!” He chuckled.

  I laughed. “Yeah, I remember them just!”

  “So this one that's tied on looks new-ish!” His fingers swept over the two little cross charms that where either side of black and red glass seed beads on a thin cord that I had wrapped around my wrist and the tied on to stop it falling off.

  I smiled. “I made that the week after I got out of the hospital after the burn! I figured that if I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't break it! So I bought some charms and some beads and made this and tied it on, as I tied the knots I promised that I would never allow Sean to manipulate me ever again! It might seem silly to anyone else but seeing it every day actually gave me strength to stay away from him and now I just like so I keep it on!” It was one that actually meant the most.

  He was silent for a while. “What else did he do to you?! If you don't want to tell me its okay, I just guess he did other things for you to need to do that!” He rested his head on my shoulder.

  I smiled at how he felt on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and let it go. “Other than cheating on me repeatedly, he often guilt tripped me into forgiving him or would threaten to hurt himself it I left! The worst thing aside from the burn was that he broke my right arm once! When he lost his temper with me! I wanted to fix him, but in trying to do that I guess I kinda broke myself!” I didn't want to go into detail.

  “Men like him aren't worth the time, aren't worth your time! I won't let him hurt you again! I mean that Evan, I won't allow him to touch what's mine!”

  I smiled. “I know.” I rested my left hand over his arm that had snaked around my wrist.

  “So tell me about these two wristbands! These look like the kinda things my sister has by the bucket load! I think her allowance go's on band merch and make up!” He laughed.

  I grinned widely. “She sounds so much like I was, well still am really!” I looked at my wrist. “Okay the black and blue one with the dates on is from a really intimate gig my dad’s band did last year! Tickets went on sale, but it was kinda a secret thing so only the hard-core fans knew! 400 tickets were available and they sold out within 20 minutes!” I was so proud of what my dad’s band had achieved over the years. “So of course whenever they play a gig I'm official photographer, I was in the camera pit when the security gave out the wristbands and guitar picks that had been made to celebrate the gig! I just happened to blag me a set! You see they always make more so no fans lost out! My dad thinks I'm nuts, but I'm their biggest fan pretty much!” I felt happy talking about it because I knew he wasn't going to judge me.

  “That's actually really cool! So only what upwards of 450 of these even exists?”

  I grinned. “Yep! I've seen some on eBay which pissed me off, but as my Dad said you don't know their reasons behind selling! Maybe they needed the money!”

  He inspected the material one under it. “Festival wristband! VIP! Very nice!”

  I laughed. “Coachella to be precise! One of my very good friends is an actress and she got us all tickets last summer! It's in the dessert, but it was the best weekend of my life! I've yet to venture to any festivals over in the UK, but now I'm living here I might check one out! Add to the collection!”

  He let my arm go back into the water. “There are a few good festivals worth going to over here! I'll get some info for you! Maybe we can go together?!” He picked up the body wash.

  I grinned. “That sounds like a plan!”

  I let him wash me as I sat against him. He played attention to my arms first, washing off the suds as he went. I felt my whole body just relax into his. It was the first time in a long time that I felt properly relaxed. He took his time washing my shoulders and my back, before he moved to my front, caressing my breasts as he washed them, he was so gentle with me. I felt cherished. “Take your hair out, I'll wash your hair! I have the damage control shampoo and conditioner you have at home! I even have a wide bristle brush so you can brush your hair!”

  I smiled as I pulled my hair band from my hair and shook it down. “This feels like heaven! No one’s ever washed me before! I've never even had anyone wash my hair before! Well, aside from when I was a little kid, but I can fend for myself. Think it would have been easier for my Dad bringing me up if I had of been a boy!” I laughed.

  He started to wet my hair so he could wash it. “Well, I'm glad you are a female! And I'll be gentle I promise! Also, what's with all the, I can fend for myself stuff?!”

  I shrugged. “I guess I just grew up with just my Dad and we fended for ourselves! We didn't ask for help, we just had what we had! Once I hit like 9 I learnt to look after myself! I guess for a guy there was things he maybe felt uncomfortable with! But since meeting you I've discovered it's nice to have someone look after you once in a while!” I closed my eyes as his fingers worked the shampoo into my scalp and hair.

  “Well, I can understand that, but I'm am more than happy to look after you! Forever!” He pilled the hair on top of my head.

  “I'd like that! It's nice to know I've got someone that cares for me! It go's both ways, though Cameron! I want to look after you too!”

  I tilted my head right back so the shampoo didn't run into my eyes as he washed it out.

  “We can look after each other!”

  “Deal! Also, you're very good at this hair washing stuff!” I hummed happily as he ran conditioner into the ends and lengths of my hair.

  “Considering the fact you bleached your hair it doesn't feel in bad condition!” His fingers worked the tangles out.

  “Well, I'm too lazy to use hair straighteners so I don't over damage it! Like half the time I don't even blow dry it unless I'm going out!” It was true, I was basically lazy with my hair and makeup. I had better things to concentrate my time on.

  “Hmm, well it doesn't look like your lazy! The fact is you always look good to me! I think the natural look suits you!” He washed the conditioner out of my hair and made a satisfied noise. “All done!”

  I grinned and rung the ends of my hair out. “Very good job too!” I frowned. “My turn to wash your hair now!” I knew I'd need to turn astound to face him. I was a little nervous about washing his hair though. He always liked to be in control but he'd have to trust me.

  “You don't have to, I can do my own!” He sounded unsure. He was trying to get out of it. Maybe he was unsure or even a little scared.

  “Let me at least return the favor! I promise I won't do anything you don't want me to! You can trust me!” I wasn't like Miss A line skirt I wasn't after anything, I wasn't laying a trap he had to be wary of I just wanted to show him I cared for him just as much as he cared for me.

  He breathed out. “Okay, I'll try, I'm sorry I've just never had my hair washed by a woman before, well, girlfriend you know what I mean!”

  He was flustered. This was alien to him. I turned around carefully so I was facing him. The tub was so big that I was able to sit without having to invade his space. His eyes were cast down, hooded and unsure if he wanted to let me in.

  I let a breath go and stroked my fingers over his jaw, making him look up. “It's okay to be nervous! If you don't want me to do it, I won't! I just thought tonight was about finding things out about you! Because you know so much about me and I know so little about you!” I smiled at him.

  He blinked. “I know it is, I am trying! I just... It's that... If I don't like it, I don't want to hurt your feelings!” He sighed.

  I smiled. “Oh Cameron! If you don't like how it feels just tell me and I'll stop! You don't know if you'll like it unless you let me try! Maybe I could start by washing your arms and chest cause you didn't mind me touching earlier!” I raised a brow. Sex was his comfort zone! Anything outside of that and he wasn't in control he had to try and control it even if it meant he shut me out. Was this why he'd n
ever had a real girlfriend?! He'd been too scared to let them in, let them take control of some elements of his life?! Or perhaps it was because they were a rouge element that was unpredictable, so he shut the idea off, choosing his casual sex partners instead. I wasn't sure, but I'd break down his barriers, I was more determined than ever to show him how real love could be and in that moment sat looking at him I knew I loved him I just didn't know how to tell him yet. The fact was he was trying for me. He'd never done that before.

  “Okay! I guess I don't know unless I try!” He licked his lips and closed his eyes.

  “I'll stop if you tell me too! I promise.” I picked up the wash cloth and put some of the body wash on it lathering it up with my hand. I started at the top of his right arm. He tensed as I swept the cloth down his arm. I was slow and careful not to touch him too much. I hummed to myself to fill the silence. I moved to his left arm and washed gently down.

  “What's that tune your humming?!” His eyes were still shut.

  I grinned as I slowly moved the cloth in circles over his chest.

  “I'm not really sure, I just hum when there is silence! A habit I can't break.”

  I felt his body relax as I used my fingers to wash the subs off his chest.

  “Whatever it is I like it! I also quite enjoy you washing me! It's relaxing. I've never really let go of any control before. It wasn't too bad.” He smiled.

  I leant forwards and placed a kiss on his cheek. I couldn't say what I wanted so I let my body speak for me. I kissed his face again raining little soft kissed all over his face and neck.

  His eyes blinked open. “Is that my reward for being a good boy?!” He smirked.

  I pulled a face. “Maybe! Seriously though, maybe after a few times of sharing a bath you'll let me wash your hair! I understand all of this is new! Having to let me have complete control is new and I won't push you!”

  I shivered. The water was getting cold now.

  “Are you cold, I can add more warm water?!” His eyes searched mine concerned.

  “I think I'll get out now, leave you to wash your hair! I'll go brush my hair out!” I stroked my fingers over his cheek and tilted my head to one side. I hated that I found it so hard to just tell him that I was falling in love with him. I was held back by my own fears and worries.

  He narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to tell me?!”

  I ran my thumb over my lip as I studied him. “I think I might love you! I mean I didn't want to say it because I'm kinda freaking out and part of me wants to talk myself out of it because love hurts but I think I do. Love you that is! Sorry!” I was terrible at this. I had nowhere to hide, sat in naked in front of him.

  His whole face split into a grin. “I'll take you think you love me over nothing at all! I hope you don't talk yourself out of it! I won't hurt you! I will take time to let you do simple things like wash my hair, but you're helping me learn and are patient with me and I love you for that! I know we will take time to work all our little kinks out, but we will!” He lent forward and kissed me softly on the lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I knew we'd take time, we'd not been dating all that long, but I was going to embrace how I felt. I didn't want to bury how I felt for him like I had others.

  He let me go. “I will be done shortly, I put your hair brush in my room on the dresser, thank you for tonight! It meant a lot!” His eyes sparkled at me.

  I grinned lopsidedly. “You are welcome! I will now attempt to get out of the tub without breaking my neck!” I giggled as I pushed myself up with my arms and stood up.

  Cameron laughed out loud. “You can lean on my shoulder for support!”

  “Thank you!” I was pleased he'd said that. It was so deep that getting out was harder than getting in. I placed my right hand on his right shoulder and managed to get out and stand safely on the bath mat. I picked up the blue fluffy towel and wrapped it around my body and did it up. Before picking up my shirt and panties. I smiled and blew him a kiss before I left the room, he caught it and held it over his heart. It didn't bother me he'd not let me wash his hair. He'd let me wash him and had enjoyed it. He was learning still and in part so was I.

  chapter 17

  I grabbed the brush from the dresser and walked over to the window and started to work on my hair as I watched the lights of the city blinking and twinkling away in the distance. I cursed a few times at my stubborn hair as I caught tangles. I dried myself off and dressed again.

  I looked around the room and realised I had left my phone in my jeans in the lounge area so I folded the towel up and left it on the dresser before heading back into the lounge. I picked up my jeans and fished out my phone. I checked for texts and saw I had one from Damon. Hitting open I read it.

  Thanks for the offer of talking, she reacted badly to me breaking up with her a few months back so she took an overdose! I mean I feel for her, but I think I'm gonna make it worse by staying at the hospital so I'm heading home.

  I frowned as I replied.

  Maybe it was a cry for help or attention, but you have to do what you think is right! Maybe she thinks if you see her like that you'll find whatever feelings you had for her when you were together. I guess the only thing you can do is say you'll be there as a friend and nothing more. The main thing is she's gonna be okay.

  I few seconds later, my phone buzzed again.

  Yeah, I did tell her that, she got upset and they asked me to leave! I can't cope with her right now! I couldn't handle how obsessive she was with me! I guess I just have to let it go! Thanks for advice, your boyfriend is a lucky guy!

  I sighed. I knew he liked me.

  Yeah, he is, but maybe I'm the lucky one! You should get some sleep! Hey also I'm not gonna be able to make the gig fri! I forgot and said I'd take Cameron's little sister to a gig her friend is sick so can't go! Pizza ASAP when we are both free!'

  I liked Damon, but he liked me too much and I felt a little awkward now I was with Cameron. Like he thought he'd swooped in and stole me.

  My phone buzzed again.

  That's okay, I probably won't go, just too much in my head right now! Pizza soon! Goodnight Evan! X

  I sighed.

  Goodnight Damon! x

  I hit send and turned around and headed off to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I pulled open the fridge and got two bottles out. I wasn't sure if Cameron would want one in the night.

  “Evangeline where are you?!” Cameron's worried voice floated into the kitchen from somewhere in the apartment.

  I frowned. “I'm in the kitchen!” I shouted back wondering why he sounded so worried.

  “Evan?!” He appeared in the doorway, looking confused as I shut the fridge door.

  I studied him. He was standing in a pair of dark blue PJ bottoms with his chest bare, his hair messy, un-brushed.

  “It's okay, Cameron I was just getting some water!” I held the bottles up.

  His whole face relaxed. “I thought you'd gone! When I couldn't find you! I worried!”

  I put the bottles down on the counter, confused as to where he thought I had gone too.

  He walked over and pulled me to him, his hands urgently gripping my shoulders like he thought I'd disappear if he didn't hold me as tight as he could.

  “Why on earth would you think I'd gone?! I went to check my phone, then figured I would get a drink!” I was confused by his actions.

  “I don't know, just after all that stuff in the bath when I didn't find you in my room or the lounge area I freaked out! Your jeans were gone! I thought you'd left me!” His voice shook slightly.

  I moved my arms to wrap around his middle and rubbed my hands up and down his back slowly in a way that I hoped was comforting. “Left you?! I don't understand why you would think I'd leave!” Had he actually thought I'd leave without telling him?!

  I could feel the tension in his back as my hands rested on his lower back. He didn't say anything, he just held me.

  “I bought
my jeans in here! They are on the counter with my cell phone! I was just about to come back and get ready for bed!” I grinned.

  His whole body relaxed as he swept his hands down to rest on my lower back. “I'm sorry I let my mind get carried away! I knew deep down you'd not leave without telling me!”

  I ran my hands up his arms. “I'm actually kinda insulted that you'd think I would be petty enough to leave simply because you choose to wash your own hair! I just told you back in there that I have fallen in love with you, yet you still thought I had left! I don't understand!” I didn't. I was hurt that he thought I had bailed on him. What kinda person would do that?!

  He stroked his hand through my hair. “Please forgive me Evan, I never meant to hurt you or insinuate that you were petty, I just felt vulnerable in them moments when I couldn't see you in the darkness and I imagined all sorts of scenarios and didn't engage the brain! I am so sorry! I really am! Please don't be cross at me.” He let me go from the hug and studied me intently.

  I shook my head. “It's okay, I'm not cross! I get that you felt that way for a few moments! Next time just don't jump to conclusions. I'll prolly be in the bathroom or here or I dunno where ever! It doesn't mean I've left! Not going anywhere with just your shirt and my panties on! There are laws against that kinda thing!” I grinned.

  The relief washed over his face. “Thank you for being you! I won't always be like this! Thanks for getting me a drink too!” He smiled and picked up one of the bottles then caught up my hand. “Let's go to bed! Before my brain has any more stupid ideas!”

  I laughed and grabbed the other bottle and let him lead me to his room. My phone was perfectly safe where it was. It wasn't healthy to be so obsessed with it.

  “Wanna clean my teeth first! I assume you also bought me a toothbrush!” I knew he must have done.