Ignite Me: Shards of Glass, Part One

by Mills, L. C.

  He frowned. “Evan it's not stupid so please don't put your ideas down because you think I might find them silly! I don't! And I actually get what you mean! I've told you before you are extraordinary please start to believe it!”

  I sighed. “I'm really just me!” I wasn't extraordinary I was just normal and it made feel uncomfortable when he told me otherwise.

  He shook his head as the lift travelled upwards. “Why do you do that each time I compliment you?!” He rounded on me and searched my eyes for clues.

  I took a shaky breath and looked down at my boots. My heart beat funny in my chest.

  I was too scared to admit why, so I didn't say anything.

  “Please tell me!”

  The fingers of his right hand and brushed under my chin gently forcing my head up to face him.

  I closed my eyes for a second before opening them again. “Because I'm scared Cameron! Scared that I might actually start to believe it because if I do, that means you've proved me wrong and that might mean you get bored of me and leave me to the crushing loneliness that I've always felt!” My voice shook. “I am also scared that I'm not gonna be enough for you!”

  His eyes grew wide as he took in what I'd said, disbelief etched across his face.

  “Evan, I will never tire of you! And I most certainly will not leave you! I am head over heels in love with you and down in the car park when I asked you to be my queen, I wasn't messing around I meant that! You're feeling insecure and I understand that because when I saw that photo of you and Damon and the ones on twitter tonight of you and Jack, your legs wrapped around his middle in that embrace, I hated it and I was insanely jealous, but most of all I was scared! Scared, he'll take you from me! I am trying not to move to fast with you, terrified that if I do, you'll run from me.”

  I let go of the breath I had been holding, he was scared I would leave him, it made sense, and he had been quiet after the gig and before. I moved my hands and placed them on his face, softly stroking my thumbs over his cheekbones. I had no idea photos of me and Jack had even surfaced, it must have been from the girls at the gate.

  “I guess we're both nervous about the same things, I would happily be your queen! I am not interested in anyone else but you! Maybe with your help I will start to believe that I'm not just some dumb kid.” I grinned.

  The smile spread across his face. “You are not a kid and nor are you dumb! You are mine and my god it feels good to know it!” He pulled me to him, lifting me off the floor a little.

  I wrapped my arms around him. “And you mine!”

  I didn't want to ever break the moment. It felt perfect, but the lift doors rolled open with a ping.

  “I think we have to get out now!” He chuckled.

  “Yeah we do! We got the rest of the night to make out and watch the city twinkle.”

  He grinned. “That's something I can live with, but to avoid my little sister whom I assume will be still be in the kitchen raiding the food, if we go straight to my room we can avoid having her kidnap you for a slumber party! I've taken the liberty of having water and other things taken to my room so no need to even have to speak to her! Far too many people have held your attention tonight! Now it's my turn to have you all to myself! It's going to have to last me all weekend!” He let me down from the hug.

  “Well, until Sunday evening! We can FaceTime each other or Skype if you wanted?! I'm getting good at photos to send you too!” I grinned as I stepped back moving off towards the hall.

  “Sunday is a long way off for me right now! So I will be making the most of having time with you now!”

  He linked his fingers with mine as he walked out of the doors. “Let's enjoy our night!” His eyes sparkled dangerously at me.

  I felt so much better now, I knew where we stood. “Let's! I can sort the merch out Saturday morning!”

  We made our way through the apartment like a couple of teenagers sneaking home past curfew. We literally run up the hall to his room giggling as we went. I could smell the toast Georgia was cooking and it made my tummy rumble. “Oh man that smells so good!”

  Cameron pushed open the bedroom door and led me inside. “I'll make us some later! I'd like to ask your permission to do something first. It's linked to what I was thinking about in the SUV earlier!” He kicked off his boots and walked over to the chair near the window and indicated for me to sit.

  I dropped down the bag and wondered what on earth he wanted to ask me. Also, why would he want me to sit down to do it?! I wandered over feeling like I had done something wrong. Had I spent too much with the guys earlier?! Should I have left him with his sister?! Was he annoyed with me?! I thought we had fixed that just now, maybe we hadn't! It filled me with dread. I didn't want an argument. I sat down and looked up at him leaning against the window. He was studying me with intense eyes.

  “Please don't look so worried! I am not cross with you, but I do want to ask your permission to do something.”

  I chewed my lip and waited for him to start speaking again.

  He walked back over and stood in front of me. “Left leg first!”

  “Huh?!” I asked, confused as to why he'd need my left leg.

  “I am taking your shoes off! I figured I'd be helpful!” He smiled at me and held his hand out for my leg.

  I pulled a confused face and lifted my left leg to his hand. He seemed to like taking my shoes off. I was still confused. “Have I done something wrong?! Cause you're being kinda weird and I thought things were okay between us!”

  He sighed as he undid the double knot in my laces. “I just told you that you haven't done anything wrong! Why do you automatically blame yourself?!” He took hold of my shoe and pulled it off.

  I flexed my toes and shrugged. “I dunno! I guess I'm used to being the one that's in the wrong!”

  He sighed. “Next leg! You aren't at fault, no one is! I just want to ask you something! You remember earlier when I took the phone call from your father?!” He held his hands out for my other leg.

  I lifted my right leg and sighed. “Ah yeah! But what has that got to do with you asking my permission?!” I was horrendously confused.

  “Well, when we go to the states next month, your father shares the same worries as I do about Hagen, I want to have a restraining order taken out on him! I don't want that fucker coming anywhere near you!”

  My blood ran cold. I knew this was what he would ask. “I'll sign whatever! I don't want him anywhere near me either!” I had to admit that he could well be a risk. He had put me in hospital once before and I knew if Cameron ever found out what he'd done, he'd loose it, I hoped I wouldn't have to tell him, because the only other person who knew was Jess.

  Cameron knelt down in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. “I figured you'd say no! But this is good, it's sensible and it protects us both! I'll have all the necessary documents drawn up. Evan, I can't stand the idea of him hurting you like he has done in the past! I am here to look after you now!” His eyes were hooded.

  I placed my hands over his. “To be honest the thought of even coming face to face with him fills me with dread! So whatever has to be done, I'll do it! So did you say there is food cause I'm starving!” I grinned at him.

  He smiled at me, a full on smile that lit his face up. “There is! I was thinking, we'd get into bed and just relax, I wanna hear about what happened while I was stuck with my sister!”

  “Good idea! Lead me to the food!” I laughed.

  He shook his head and pulled me up from the chair. “Do you still want toast?! I'll go and make you some if you want?!”

  I nodded. “I would yes, but I can make it! I don't mind!” I didn't see what harm it would do.

  “Trust me, Georgia will be waiting in there! You stay here, and I'll go!” He grinned as he headed for the door.

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, okay, I'll get myself changed then!” I pulled my hoodie off over my head and flung it on the chair behind me.

  “
Be right back!” He disappeared out of the door, leaving me alone in the room.

  I grabbed the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it over my head, chucking it on top of my hoodie. I sat myself on the edge of his bed and pulled my jeans off. It was heavenly to not wear them, skinny jeans were awesome, but they didn't leave a lot of room for comfort. I rummaged under the pillow and pulled out the shirt I'd slept in last night and slipped into it, then after undoing the catch on my bra I removed it via my shirt sleeve.

  “So good!” No man would ever understand that feeling of taking your bra off at the end of the day. I undid the plait Cameron had done earlier and worked my fingers through my hair getting the tangles out. Cameron's bed faced out towards the open expanse of glass, it was beautiful. I swung myself around to face the window. The lights in the room where never bright enough to flood the room so I could see myself reflected in the window, he hadn't pulled the nets over yet. I picked up my phone, unlocking it and hitting the camera app. The lights of the city sparkled above the line of trees. It was like a tree house hidden up in the clouds. Our very own Shangri-La. I took a photo and checked the time. “Hmm” Cameron was taking a while to make toast so I decided to brave it and go find him. I made my way out of my his room, I liked that his room was separate from the city side, because at least I'd not bump into anyone, I was only wearing panties and his shirt after all. I tiptoed down the hall and made my way along to the kitchen. I peeped around the wall and found him leant on the kitchen work top, studying his phone.

  “Thought you'd been eaten by the toaster! I was coming to bravely rescue you!” I joked as I walked in.

  He turned around with a grin. “Sorry I was emailing my legal contact in the states re the order, we spoke about, and also Georgia has just left! Take a seat I'll do the toast now!”

  I nodded. “Okay, so I kinda said I'd go for pizza with Damon on Saturday afternoon, I'm just warning you now so you know!” I wasn't asking if it was okay, I wasn't ever going to do that, ask for his permission to see my friends, he'd have to get used to it.

  He put four pieces of bread into the toaster. “Oh, where will this pizza be eaten?” He had his back to me at the toaster so I couldn't gage his reaction so I just had to wing it.

  “Well, I happen to have some items of lingerie on order from a shop in Westfield so I'm gonna tell him to meet me there! They have a pizza place!” I had ordered the underwear that Jess had linked me to earlier on.

  “Which one there is two?”

  He didn't even ask about what I had ordered and it threw me, I was banking on him asking me.

  “Oh, uh the one near the Olympic park! The smaller one! They were the shop that had stock in so I'm off to pick them up Saturday and I'll probably go shopping cause I haven't in ages!”

  He walked to the fridge and got the spread out. “Oh, okay, well just text me when you're back home and I'll ring you! I don't like him, I know he's your friend, but I'm telling you that kid has an agenda!” He stabbed the butter knife into the spread.

  I hopped down from the unit and walked over to him. “He's older than I am, so if he's a kid then what the hell does that make me?!” I hated it when he got jealous because he was right, Damon had feelings for me, but I could never tell him why! He'd probably freak out and ban me from seeing him.

  He turned around and sighed. “It makes you my girlfriend! I know what I see when I see him looking at you! Just be careful! I'm not going to ask you not to meet him because that's not fair, but just promise me you'll be careful for me!” He smiled.

  I rolled my eyes. “I promise! I'll text you as soon as I get in! Trust me this shopping trip will be just as much in your favor as it will be for mine!” I smirked imagining his face when he saw me with them on.

  He ran his hands down my arms and pulled me closer to him, his hands rubbing up my back under my shirt. “Now I'm intrigued! What shop was this you're going to?!”

  I moaned softly and pushed my shoulder blades back into his hands. “Agent Provocateur! I might go to a few other places too!”

  His fingers ran down my back and rested on my lower back. “Evan, you have me imagining all sorts now! I want pictures!” He chuckled.

  I shook my head. “Nope, no can do! These will be strictly for first hand viewing when you return only!” I traced my fingers over his chest.

  He arched his head back and groaned. “Not even a sneak peek before the main showing?!”

  I licked my lips. “Well, maybe if you're nice to me, I might just send you an interesting angled photo!”

  “I'm wounded my darling! I am always nice to you!” He grinned as he dipped his head and brushed his lips against mine softly.

  I closed the gap between us and kissed him back, winding my hands into his hair, tugging slightly. We pulled apart from the kiss as the toast popped up.

  “How am I doing?!” He grinned at me, his eyes sparkling.

  “Oh well, that's one photo!”

  I slipped around him and grabbed the toast from the toaster. “I assume some of this is for you?!” I put the hot toast down on the chopping board and waited butter knife ready in hand.

  His arms twisted around my middle as he rested his head on my shoulder. “Yes, please! Two slices each! Plenty of butter on mine!”

  “As you wish!” I buttered the toast and cut them into large triangles and slipped all four of them onto the same plate.

  “Back to your room with the food?!” I picked up the plate.

  “Yes, good idea, I am actually intrigued about what's in that huge goody bag you brought back with you!”

  He let go of my waist and stepped back so I could turn around.

  “A whole bunch of free merch! I tried to pay Jack and the guys, but they wouldn't let me! There is T-shirts for me and a couple bits of Georgia too!”

  We snuck back through to his room, but could hear music drifting from down the main corridor.

  “Hey, you remember that time you said Jones had a self-contained flat! Where is that?!” I was confused a little, was it attached?!

  I shoved open his door and walked in making for the bed.

  “Let's sit near the window! I can't stand crumbs in my sheets!”

  I swerved away from the bed and headed for the window. “I gotta admit I am awful at eating in bed at home!” There was only one chair near the window so I lowered myself and sat against the window with my legs out in front of me. It was a summer’s night and the coolness of the glass was nice against my back.

  Cameron smiled as he joined me at the window, his legs stretched out past mine.

  “It's warm now, but that's the best way to eat it!” I placed the plate on my lap and bit into a slice of toast.

  He picked up a slice and held it. “Jones and his wife live in the apartment below my work space! It's self-contained I have nothing to do with it, but it does mean if I need him, he can get here fast!”

  I nodded as I swallowed my last piece of toast, my hunger now satisfied. “Oh, I see! Well, that's cool, I guess his wife must be really tolerant of all your demands!” I grinned.

  He picked up the plate moving it to the floor and placed his hand on my thigh.

  “He's highly paid! She doesn't mind, she's older than him! She does my housekeeping and sometimes she insists on feeding me! Says I'm too skinny!” He shook his head.

  I grinned. I thought it was sweet she cared for him, probably like a son since I didn't think they had any of their own.

  “Well, you are very tall! All legs! I mean literally look how short my legs are compared to yours!” I stretched out and my feet didn’t come anywhere near his.

  “Yes, but you're compact! You have all the right features just in a smaller package!” He chuckled.

  I shook my head. “Well said that man! You swerved a curve ball there!” He'd not called me short and I loved him for that!

  “You make very good toast! Right come on, its bedtime! I have to be away by 9am Saturday, so I'll drop you of
f home first!” He unfolded his legs and stood up.

  There I was looking up at him again from his feet again. He quirked an eyebrow up at me as if he knew what I was thinking.

  I held my hands out for him to pull me up.

  “No sex then?!” I was a little disappointed, but I wondered if it was because of what his sister had said?!

  He grinned as he took hold of my out stretched hands and pulled me upwards and towards him.

  “As much as I’m tempted, I think you need to sleep.” He pulled me up from the floor.

  “I don’t mind, I will miss not waking up with you Sunday.”

  He pulled me into a bear hug - the type of one where you can only just breathe but feels so right - and sighed. “I know and I feel the same way! It's strange really, I've never been used to sharing a bed with anyone, let alone my life, but Evan, now I've shared mine with you, I look forward to sharing your bed Sunday!”

  I grinned lopsidedly, my stomach doing summersaults. That was the sweetest thing ever. “I am thankful you want to share your life with me and I look forward to sharing mine with you.” I buried my head against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

  “Come on, let's clean our teeth! Then I'm taking you to bed!”

  After we cleaned our teeth, we curled up in his bed, it was ridiculously huge, with both of us curled up in the middle. I liked it though. He made me feel safe sure, but most of all he made me feel loved. I had never really had any type of stability with men before but he was steady! He didn't need me as a cute arm accessory, he could have had any woman he choose but he'd choose me and I felt good! I actually felt good about myself! That hadn't happened in a long time! I guess we just felt right!

  I stifled a yawn. “Hey, you didn't teach me what tired felt like it!” I glanced up at him.

  He stroked his hands down my back under the silk sheets. “No, I didn't, but I'm actually content with you just being next to me, sitting with you and talking about things actually is a great way to come down at the end of the day, I feel relaxed, do you?!”