Ignite Me: Shards of Glass, Part One

by Mills, L. C.

  He looked confused for a second before he smiled. “Stop teasing me, Evan, you know what will happen!”

  I grinned at him as I sat down on the snuggle chair. “But I thought you liked it when I teased you!” I winked at him as he sat himself next to me.

  There was plenty of room for us both, his arm rested on my knee.

  “Oh, I do like you teasing me, but I like to tease you the best! I'd like to tease you later on, finish what I started on Friday morning!” His fingers gripped my thigh.

  I took a deep breath. “I think I'd like that! Oh Cameron you do things to me!” I sighed. I had never been this affected by a man before, part of me was shouting to get a grip and the other half was just slowly sliding down a wall.

  He breathed out heavily. “And you to me, I will enjoy teaching you how good it feels when I go down on you! Have you ever had that done before?!” His fingers stroked my thigh in the most distracting way.

  I closed my eyes for a second taking a breath in, my skin had erupted into goose bumps at the mention of it.

  “No, it'll be my first time.” I hadn't ever had that done to me before, Jess always said it was good, but Sean was way too lazy to do anything like that.

  “Yet I bet he expected head off you!” He tutted. “Selfish fucker!”

  I blushed, I wasn't really used to talking about sex so openly. “Oh, uh well yeah, but that was the only thing he never moaned at me about, so I guess I must have been pretty good at it!” Sean wasn't a very good lover, he had been selfish, much like he was in every other aspect of his life.

  “I won't ever ask you to do anything in return, if and when you’re ready for that just let me know, but I don't expect it.” He moved his hand from my thigh and hung his arm around my shoulders, his fingers softly stroking my neck.

  “Thank you, I'll surprise you one day in the best way!” I wasn't quite ready for giving him oral sex just yet, but I meant what I said. I was working my way up to that.

  “I shall look forward to it, but won't ever expect it of you!”

  “Your drinks, the BBQ isn't on today, but I can get you food from the kitchen! The menus on the table, just pop over when you’re ready to order.” Jim placed our drinks down and then left us alone.

  “Thanks, I'm still working out how your body reacts, once I'm confident enough with you and your body you'll know!” I grinned and lent forward to pick up my mug.

  His hand rubbed up my back. “I know.”

  I sat myself back as he reached forwards for his own mug.

  I was about to ask how he'd gotten involved in this venture when his phone rang in his pocket.

  “I'll ignore it. Whoever it is will go away.”

  “If they are ringing you, maybe it's important!” I shrugged as I sipped at my drink, it was perfect. It had the bitterness of the coffee with the sweetness of the chocolate.

  He sighed as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “Jonathan hi.” He sat back, but with him sat that close I could hear the voice on the other end.

  “Hi Cameron, you didn't RSVP for the summer party, and Jasmine and I didn't want to not add you to the guest list! So I thought I'd ring!” I sat silently trying not to make any noise, Jonathan's voice was crisp like Cameron's.

  “Did I get an invite?! I must have missed it! When is it?!” He sounded confused.

  “I'm sure we sent you one, it's next weekend! We can put you up for the night if you need somewhere to crash! It's also partly a celebration of Maize's and Marcus's 21st birthdays! She's back from Cambridge for the summer.”

  Cameron shook his head. “Oh, I see, well does my invite extend to a plus one?!” He grinned at me.

  I smiled back, I didn't mind going, and I was intrigued what the summer party was about!

  “Oh well yes of course, ah so the rumour mill is correct then! You sly dog, hearts will break!”

  Cameron laughed. “I'm afraid to say my girlfriend can probably hear every word, she's sitting right next to me, but yes they are true! Is it black tie?!”

  I grinned, as I heard a pause at the other end.

  “Oh well, that’s embarrassing, but yes it is, do you want to stay the night?! Saves driving back and means you can indulge on the champers!”

  “I'll just ask Evangeline if she fancies seeing some finer parts of England, one second.”

  Cameron paused the call.

  “I know you probably heard, but do you wanna go?! It's in a lovely part of the English countryside and it'd be nice to show you off! We can get you a dress! They throw a party every year, I would normally book a hotel but since you’re with me, I don't mind staying! I'll explain more later on!”

  I nodded. “Sure, sounds lovely, but I can buy myself a dress!” I didn't need him to buy me one.

  He sighed. “I'll buy it, I have very expensive taste!”

  I pulled a face. “I don't do puff balls!” I hated formal dresses. I knew it was pointless trying to argue that I wanted to buy the dress myself so I just resided myself to the fact he'd buy it.

  “Oh, I was thinking more like split right up the thigh!” He grinned at me.

  I raised a brow. “Your friend is on hold! And yes to going!”

  He grinned and took the call off hold. “It's all fine, add myself and Evangeline to the list and yes please for a room, will have left it too late to book a hotel now! Is Marcus still on the Oxford rowing team?!”

  There was a groan from the other end. “Yes! Sibling rivalry has new meaning when those two get at it about the race! You see Maize is now on the women's team! You can join in next weekend! Even though they are twins, they couldn't be more different!”

  Cameron chuckled. “Well you know I'm born and bred Oxford! Email me the details! See you next Saturday!”

  He cut the call. “So Monday afternoon I'll take you to get a dress, you can wear them shoes you bought! I looked at them this morning! Very nice!”

  I downed half my coffee. “What if I have something planned for Monday!” I didn't like it when he just told me what I was going to do.

  He took a large swig of his own coffee. “Sorry I forgot, let me rephrase, would you like to come find a dress with me on Monday?!” He gave me a puppy dog look.

  I nodded. “Yes, I would love to join you! So what kinda event is this?!” I sat back, holding my mug in my hand.

  “Well each summer Jonathan and his wife throw a summer party, there is normally some live music and a buffet, it's all local dignitaries, society types and business contacts and their older children, it's more of an opportunity to network than anything else but I've known them as a couple for years now! My parents used to go, but they don't bother now! It's in a little village in Suffolk! We can drive there! You'll love it, it’s quaint.”

  “Oh, okay cool, well it sounds intriguing, I will have to remember to be on my best behaviour!” I grinned at him.

  “There is nothing wrong with your normal behaviour! I'll be proud to have you on my arm, it'll be nice to have company!”

  I smiled lopsidedly. “Thank you, I'll be proud to say I'm with you! Might even sneak in a slow dance!” I leant forwards again to put my cup down and pick up the menu. “So where is Suffolk?!” I was awful at knowing where places were. I still didn't know London all that well.

  I sat back and studied the menu.

  “It's in the East of England, you know, on the map of the UK, there is that kinda lump on the right midway down, well it's in that bit! I'll show you on the map in my study later, you studied art at school?!”

  I knew roughly where he meant now. I frowned, thinking back to school. “Yeah, I did.” I wondered where he was going with this.

  “Well, did you study an artist called John Constable?! Painted the Haywain?! It's in the national gallery here actually!”

  I grinned. “Oh, okay yeah I remember, very pretty landscapes of rolling countryside!”

  He smiled. “Well, we are going to the village where he was born! That's whe
re Jonathan and his family live, it's very pretty there, East Bergholt!”

  I turned my head to face him. “Are you yanking my chain?!” I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, but I had to admit it sounded very English.

  He laughed softly. “No darling, I am not yanking your chain as you'd say! It's a very nice little village, my parents live nearby in a village called Dedham! It's all very old English towns and county side, I thought maybe if you wanted, we could go see my parents on Sunday, I know I'm suddenly just dropping this on you but I want them to see how genuinely in love we are!”

  I forgot all about the menu sat in my lap. He had literally just bombarded me with information and now I was confused. “So you grew up in that part of the UK?!”

  He nodded. “I did, if you don't want to visit my parents I do understand given the recent situation.” He smiled at me. He of course meant the intervention he'd had this weekend with Erin.

  I shook my head. “It's not that I don't want to but I'm kinda nervous that they will hate me! After what that little bitch said about me!” I sighed.

  “They won't hate you, my Dad was actually interested enough to ask about you, my Mum will just take longer to come round to the idea, but if she meets you then maybe she might see Erin was wrong!” He stroked his fingers down my cheek softly.

  I was still worried, I mean a party was one thing but meeting his parents filled me with dread, but it had to happen at some stage so why not that same weekend. “Okay, I might need you to hold my hand though.” I glanced at him through my eyelashes.

  The smile spread across his face. “I will happily hold your hand, I've never taken a girl home before, but I am so proud to say your mine.” His eyes sparkled at me.

  I grinned lopsidedly at him and leant in to kiss his cheek. “Well, I'm very privileged to be yours.” He wanted to take me home to his parents, the girl he loved, he had never done that before. I felt proud that I was that girl.

  “Are you hungry?!” He picked up the menu from my lap.

  “Baby you know I'm always hungry!” I giggled. “What's good to eat here?!” I trusted his judgement.

  “Everything! But how about we share some chili nachos?! I know it's beef and technically red meat, but it's actually very tasty also are you okay with spicy foods?!” He pointed to the menu.

  “Oh yeah, I can handle spice, I like the sound of that, are we still cooking a roast later?!”

  I didn't mind too much when it came to Beef mince I could handle eating that.

  He grinned. “Yeah, I had Jones do an online shop last night, it should be delivered while we are out so all the things we want should be there when we return! I'll just go order the food.” He stood up and put the menu down. “Want a cold drink?! I'm going to get a lemonade.”

  I nodded. “Oh yes please, I'll have a bottle of spring water, and does Jones always do your shopping?!” I wondered if he had to add things like condoms to the list, but I guess between guys they didn't take any notice.

  He grinned. “He does, but don't worry, I take care of my personal shopping!”

  I blushed. “Oh, right, okay. Not that I was even thinking about that kinda thing.” I totally had been, of course, and he damn well knew it.

  He raised a perfect eyebrow at me. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed and trying to hide it! It's just latex to me!” He shrugged and walked off.

  chapter 30

  I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment. It might have just been latex to him, but to me it wasn't! I closed my eyes and remembered the very first time we had sex, how his teeth had ripped open the condom packet, and how his long delicate fingers had rolled it over his erection. I bit my lip.

  “What are you thinking about darling?! You look a thousand miles away!”

  I felt him sit back down next to me. I opened my eyes and gazed at him. “How you looked our first time together.” I grinned at him.

  He smirked. “Really?! What part?!” He rested his arm around my shoulders.

  “When you ripped open the packet with your teeth mostly. I won't ever forget that sound.”

  He chuckled. “Well, it hadn't been for effect, but I guess it's something that sticks in your mind! I've ordered the food, here's your drink, its lemon flavor I hope that's okay!” He handed me the bottle.

  “Oh, thanks, yeah its fine, I just like to keep hydrated!” I took the bottle from his hand.

  “Oh, you have the lemonade you have at home!” He had already opened his can.

  “Yes, I like this brand! Can I ask you something?! It's about the restraining order, we want to have in place ready for when we go to New York.” He seemed apprehensive.

  I took a swig of water and nodded. I wondered what he would need to know. I had already agreed to sign to say I needed one.

  He took a breath. “Well to get a judge to actually issue one I need more information.”

  I sighed. I was half scared to even admit half the things Sean had done in the last year of our relationship. “You'll be angry if I tell you! Can't I just email your contact in the States?!”

  He sighed. “I won't be angry at you! Of course you could do that, but now I'm worried about the fact you won't tell me!” He took hold of my hand. “I know you find it hard to talk about it, but I really think it's unhealthy to keep it bottled up!”

  I stared at our combined hands. I knew I was going to have to tell him sooner or later, at least here in the corner it was kinda private. I also had nowhere to run. I guess that was why he had bought me here. Because I hadn't seen anyone else, even come in, the BBQ space wasn't being used and Jim was quite clearly doing the cooking and making himself sparse.

  “I know, I've never even told Jess about half of what he did because she'd probably beat his ass so I just learnt to cope with it!”

  He breathed out. “Well, I love you and I want you to be safe from him! I can't and won't have him harm you!”

  I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don't mind you telling your lawyer cause he will need to know, but if my Dad finds out I will know you've told him and I don't want him doing something stupid same goes for you too! You two are the only family I have! I won't lose either of you!”

  He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “I won't do anything to jeopardize us so don't worry, it's going in the vault!”

  I took a huge leap of faith. “The last year of our relationship was pretty volatile, he swung from one mood to another so fast I couldn't keep up, he would get angry with me so fast, I left him last summer and went back to my Dad's place in New York as punishment yanno teach him a lesson but Sean wouldn't leave me alone, he stalked me until I gave in and went back to LA with him! Constant calls, texts and handwritten notes. Trouble was I still loved him, I was at his apartment this winter, a few months before the burn and he was horny...” I paused, I had never told anyone this.

  “He kept harassing me, said if I didn't like him sleeping with other girls I should at least have sex with him instead, I said I didn't want to but he insisted until he got his own way. He didn't seem to care that he hurt me.” My voice shook, but I refused to let it upset me, I wasn't going to cry over him anymore. “After I was really upset with him for pretty much forcing himself on me and I got that angry I tried to hit him! But he pushed me away and I fell over, I landed funny and broke my wrist! I think my wrist was weak from a previous time he’d pushed me over. He didn't even come with me to the ER! He fell asleep! If that isn't enough to get a restraining order than, I dunno what is!” I let the breath go that I felt like I had been holding in for a long time.

  Cameron was silent, so I turned my head to face him and saw the knuckles of his left hand were white where he was gripping the chair arm.

  “Are you okay?!” I chewed my lip.

  He licked his lips. “Did you actually say yes to having sex with him that night?!”

  I sighed, I knew he'd be mad. “I didn't say yes, but I didn't say no either! I knew if I refused t
otally he would have gone out and got it from someone else! So I just put up with it, I know Cameron! I know it was stupid! I regret it now! I guess that makes me stupid for putting up with his bullshit!”

  He sighed. “You are not stupid and what he did was sexual abuse whatever way you dress it up! He talked you into things you didn't want to do, that's not consent! I will never let him touch you again! You should have reported him for what he did! Did you tell the ER you fell over by accident?!” He looked angry, but deep down I knew he was upset for me.

  “Yeah, I did, I should have reported him but I was too scared that they'd just say it was my fault, I mean I could have told him to go fuck himself but I didn't! Also, he was my boyfriend, the police would have said it was an accident!” I sighed, feeling like a weight had been lifted, but I was worried he would constantly now worry when we had sex who instigated it.

  “I want you to promise me something Cameron.” I lifted our combined hands to lips and kissed his knuckles.

  “Okay.” He sounded suspicious of what I was going to say.

  “Promise me you won't let it affect us, he didn't actually force me, I agreed in some capacity so I don't want you worrying when we are intimate with each other!”

  He smiled. “I promise you I won't, I do understand what you mean and I will pass that on in a censored version to my lawyer. You've been brave for a very long time, I'm here now! I'll look after you from now on!”

  I sighed. I knew he meant well, but I wasn't a victim as such, but I appreciated what he said, and there was no doubt in my mind he'd do what he said. “There are men and women out there that have it worse than I did, it's not brave to keep it a secret! I was stupid, but thank you for being here for me! That's all my secrets out of the closet now!” It was pretty much true, I didn't have many secrets, and he knew most of them!

  “I appreciate your honesty Evan, I know sometimes life deals you a shitty card and in the past, I've made some shitty choices, but sometimes they work out for the best, Hagen won't ever hurt you again!”

  I smiled happily at him. I adored the fact he wanted to protect me. “I know and you didn't have to bring me here to talk about it, I shouldn't bottle things up! Are they even open on a Sunday normally?! I fixed him with a look.