The Fold

by An Na

  Joyce drove down the freeway with the windows open. Her hair whipped up into her face as her spirits soared. She kept both hands on the steering wheel, two o’clock and ten o’clock, and checked her side view mirrors every few minutes just like she learned in driver’s ed. Gina was singing loudly with the radio, one foot sticking out the window. Joyce was grinning so hard she felt her teeth drying out. Gina pointed to Joyce and mimicked taking photos. Joyce tried to pout and preen at Gina, but she didn’t want to take her eyes off the road, so it looked more like she was making faces at the car in front of her. But none of that mattered. Joyce was happy to be giggling with her best friend, happy in the knowledge that she looked fabulous. Even her skin was cooperating.

  Gina’s powder had worked magic to minimize her pores. And her eyes: Joyce had to glance at them in the rearview mirror again. Her eyes were amazing. Gina had lined them with black and spread a little pink shimmering eye shadow around the edges just to draw attention, but didn’t go overboard since it was daytime. Gina had also showed Joyce the darker, more dramatic shades for the evening. Some night, like prom, Joyce fantasized that she would wear that makeup. And John would gaze down at her as he held her close in a slow dance, mesmerized by her eyes.

  All the stars were in alignment. All the signs pointed to a perfect day. Joyce checked the rearview mirror to change lanes, and Helen’s tropical-colored bags glared out at her for a moment. Joyce refocused her eyes on the road. There was no doubt in Joyce’s mind, this summer was going to change her life.

  Joyce carefully parked the car. She and Gina stepped out and stood on the boardwalk, ready to find the church group.

  “Hey, I see Lisa,” Joyce said, pointing to a group at the volleyball net. Gina was adjusting the oversized shades she was wearing to take attention away from her cheeks.

  “Can you ask Dr. Reiner next time if they have lipo for people with large cheeks? I mean, you would think the technology was around for something like that,” Gina said.

  “Yeah, right after he does my fat knees.” Joyce stared at her friend, who was suddenly looking anxious. “What are you worried about?”

  “Lisa and her friends are all so hot. And you look amazing now. I just don’t feel like I’ll fit in.”

  Joyce shook her head. “Don’t worry, you look fabulous in that skirt and tank top. Besides, no one accessorizes like you,” Joyce said and pointed to the pretty handkerchief knotted casually around Gina’s neck.

  As they approached the group, Joyce squinted at a figure. “Hey, who is that?”

  Gina took off her glasses. “Who?”

  The figure turned to the side, and Joyce could see that he was holding a camera in his hands. “I didn’t know Sam went to these things,” Joyce said.

  “Yeah, I called and told him that his model was going to be here,” Gina said, walking toward the group.

  Joyce ran after her, holding on to the sides of her short dress so that the hem wouldn’t ride up. “Gina! I don’t want my picture taken. He’ll say something about my eyes getting done!”

  “I like Sam. He’s a good guy. Joyce, stop worrying. Your eyes look great,” Gina said. “Be proud!”

  Joyce snorted, but she lifted her chin and let go of the sides of her dress. She couldn’t wait to show Lisa her new eyes.

  Lisa was with a group of her girlfriends standing off to the side of the volleyball court when Gina and Joyce approached. Lisa smiled and waved Joyce over.

  “Hi, Joyce,” Lisa said. She did a double-take and then gave Joyce a knowing look. Joyce smiled, curling up just one corner of her lips, hoping it looked as mysterious as the smile Lisa had given her on Sunday.

  “Hey, Lisa,” Joyce said.

  “You look fabulous, Joyce,” Lisa said, lavishing attention on her. The group also chimed in to say how great Joyce looked.

  “That dress looks hot on you,” Lisa said.

  Joyce looked down at herself. “Thanks! This is my friend Gina,” Joyce said and introduced Gina to the others.

  Gina stood off to the side, strangely subdued. The more Lisa only talked to Joyce, the more Gina inched away from the group. And though Joyce reached over and tried to pull her closer, Gina resisted.

  Lisa continued. “Whenever I wear dresses or shorts that short, I get all hung up on my thighs. You don’t seem to have that problem.”

  At the mention of the word thigh, all the other girls began to laugh and shout out their insecurities like a laundry list of chores: freckles, cottage-cheese thighs, flabby arms, double chins, ingrown hairs, zits, small boobs, too large boobs, thin lips.

  “I get worried about my knees,” Joyce admitted.

  Lisa stared down at Joyce’s legs. “Huh. Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. Those little fat pockets above the knees. They have this new liposuction technique now where they use a laser.”

  Joyce felt herself shrinking. She wanted to cross her legs or sit down and cover them with a beach towel. Why had she gone out with this dress on? And red, of all the colors. Could her fat knees be more obvious? Joyce heard the clicking of a camera going off to the side of her.

  “Sam, please stop!” Joyce said and tried to block her face with her hand.

  “Joyce, Joyce, you’re killing me here,” Sam said. He stopped taking pictures and came over. “I have to get these shots before the group show. You said you would model.”

  Joyce stepped away from Lisa and muttered between her clenched teeth, “I said I would help you, but I didn’t think that would mean being your model for the rest of my days.”

  Sam stepped back. “Jeez, Joyce, you don’t have to be a jerk about it. If you don’t want to pose anymore, just say so. I’ll find someone else.”

  Joyce waved. “Bye, Sam. Find someone else.”

  Sam held up the camera and fired off one last shot at Joyce’s face and then turned and walked away. Joyce held the sides of her dress and scurried back over to Lisa and her group. They were talking and pointing to someone in the water. Gina stood just on the outer edges, listening.

  “God, he can be such a stalker,” Joyce said to Lisa.

  Gina gave Joyce a look, but Joyce pretended she didn’t see it.

  Lisa was shielding her eyes as she looked out at the ocean. “You have to be careful of who starts crushing on you.”

  “Oh, no. It’s not like that. Sam’s just a friend,” Joyce said.

  Gina coughed. “Yeah, who said Sam has a crush on Joyce?”

  Lisa put down her hands and leaned forward to direct her comment at Gina. “It’s so obvious that loser is following her around. Last Sunday, I swear, every time I turned around he was taking pictures of her. Does he have to carry his camera around everywhere he goes? Kind of creepy, if you ask me. Who knows what he’s posting on the web.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Sam’s an amazing photographer,” Gina said, her head snapping to the left. “So step off.”

  Lisa parted her perfectly lined red lips to return fire at Gina.

  “Hey, Lisa,” Joyce interrupted her, “you were saying that they have a new laser technique for those hard spots.” Joyce pointed to her knees.

  Lisa turned away from Gina, who was staring off at the ocean, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

  “Yeah,” Lisa said, “it’s this new technique they’ve been using in Europe, but it’s not approved yet for the United States. Basically, they use a laser to melt the fat smoothly. And they can use it on smaller pockets of fat like above your knees or for people who have a BIG face, suck a little fat from their cheeks.”

  Gina took off her sunglasses and turned toward Lisa. “Did you just call me fat?”

  Lisa snorted. “No. But I see you have some issues, if you thought I was talking about you.”

  “I heard what you said.” Gina’s head began to snake around as though about to strike.

  Joyce jumped over to Gina. “I don’t think Lisa was calling you fat, Gina.”

  Gina stepped back. “I can’t believe you’re defending he
r. She just called Sam a creepy loser, and now you’re letting her call me fat.”

  “She didn’t say you were fat, Gina!” Joyce stepped closer to Gina and said in a low voice, “Will you stop with the hysterics? It was just a misunderstanding. She’s nice. Just chill out.”

  Gina threw up her hands and then slipped on her sunglasses. “You know what, Joyce? If getting your eyes done means you’re going to hang out with someone like her, I’m finished here.” Gina walked away.

  Joyce started to go after her, but she heard Lisa gasp. Joyce turned around. Lisa was shielding her eyes again and looking out at the ocean.

  “He is SO gorgeous,” Lisa said, pointing to a figure in the distance.

  Joyce followed Lisa’s finger. All thoughts of finding Gina vanished. There was only room for three words in Joyce’s mind. John Ford Kang.

  FIFTEEN

  john Ford Kang emerged from the waves like a surfing god. He flipped his head back, and his wet hair flew off his forehead. He carried his surfboard under one arm as he ran onto the beach and then set it down next to his towel. Bits of seaweed clung to his muscular chest.

  Joyce could feel her mouth hanging open. She turned to Lisa, who was staring as openly as Joyce was.

  “You know him?” Joyce asked, forcing her eyes to peel off of his smooth, tanned skin.

  “Yeah. His father works with my uncle over at a software firm.” Lisa’s eyes openly devoured him. “Too bad his mom and dad are in the middle of splitting up.”

  “Really?” Joyce said.

  Lisa lowered her voice and spoke out of the corner of her lips. “She was caught cheating with this English guy at work. It’s kind of sad, actually. John and his father really embraced his mother’s side of the family and traveled to Germany every vacation to be with them. They seem kind of lost now without her, but my uncle has been trying to get them to try more Korean things. You know, go to church and see more of the Korean side of the family. Be a part of the Korean fold.”

  A faint ringing could be heard. Lisa took her cell phone out of her pocket and checked the screen.

  “I have to take this call. You should go up and introduce yourself to him as my friend.” Lisa held the phone to her ear and stepped away from Joyce.

  Joyce continued standing there, wondering what to do. In the distance, she could see Sam and Gina walking away from the volleyball area. A few of the guys who were practicing their volleyball serves were calling out to John. Joyce couldn’t take her eyes off him. John glanced up.

  Joyce froze.

  John waved.

  Joyce turned around to see if he was waving at someone else standing behind her. She turned back around, and John was still waving. Joyce tentatively held up her hand and waved her fingers a bit. John smiled. Joyce wiggled her fingers more forcefully. She wiggled her fingers better than any cheerleader doing spirit fingers. What was she supposed to do next? What would Lisa do?

  “Go talk to him,” Joyce muttered to herself. But her feet wouldn’t move, and her fingers just kept on writhing like busy little worms. I have to stop, she thought as her hand began to cramp up, but her fingers had become disconnected from her mind and kept on wagging.

  John started walking toward her. Joyce immediately dropped her eyes only to realize that her chubby knees were showing. Joyce grabbed her skirt and tried forcing down the hem.

  “Hi,” John said.

  Joyce froze, her hands still clutching her skirt. “Hi,” she croaked, looking up at him.

  “I didn’t know you went to these church events.”

  Joyce forced her hands off her skirt. “I don’t normally. I mean, not that I don’t like to, or anything.” Joyce remembered what Lisa had said about John and his father trying to get back in touch with their culture. “It’s a great way to meet up with Korean friends.”

  “Right,” John said, looking around at the group gathering to play volleyball. “I don’t know many people here.”

  “Oh,” Joyce said, pretending to be surprised.

  John turned back to her. “It was great seeing you the other night at your restaurant.”

  “What?” Joyce said. “At the restaurant?” Had he seen her hanging out of the kitchen doorway looking like the fool?

  John gazed down at her, puzzled.

  “You met my dad and my uncles and aunts. Come on, Helen, your memory was never this bad in council meetings.”

  Joyce recalled how he and Helen had hugged. “Oh, wow, okay.” Joyce started to laugh. “You thought I was Helen!”

  John flicked his hair back again.

  “I’m Joyce.” She pointed her thumb at herself.

  “Who?”

  “Helen’s sister. Joyce.”

  John studied her face closely. He stepped back and studied her entire body. Closely. Joyce glanced away for a second when she felt her face burning. He had thought she was Helen. Maybe she shouldn’t have corrected him.

  “Joyce?” John said.

  Joyce straightened her shoulders and reminded herself that she looked just as good as Helen. Even Gomo had said so. Joyce tilted her head slightly and turned to John with her eyes wide and open. “We had AP Chem together.”

  John stepped forward. “You were in my chem class?”

  “Yeah, you even signed my yearbook.”

  John gazed down at her, a small flirt of a smile brushing up the corners of his lips. He stepped closer. “Wait, did I run into you on the last day?”

  Joyce stepped closer. “You knocked me over!” She raised her finger and poked his smooth, sharply defined shoulder. Joyce felt faint, but she remained standing. She wanted to pinch herself. No, she wanted to pinch him. Or at least poke his shoulder again. Joyce couldn’t believe she was actually flirting with John Ford Kang.

  “That was you!” John said, throwing back his head in laughter. “Damn.”

  “What do you mean?” Joyce said, pretending to be hurt.

  “You just look so different.”

  Joyce jutted out her hip and placed her hand there for emphasis. She watched John’s eyes move from her hip to her chest, which made Joyce inhale and exhale quickly to get that nice upward heave, and then his eyes moved to meet her eyes. Joyce blinked slowly, letting the full effect of her shimmering eye shadow do its job. Cool as any blonde at Orangedale, except for her armpits, where Joyce could feel the nervous sweat pooling like a hot springs. Joyce clamped her upper arms to her sides and leaned back to gaze up at his face.

  “I think you need glasses or something.” Joyce pouted. “You signed my yearbook for Lynn Song.”

  John’s eyes scrunched together. “Lynn? Is she the one who always has her hair hanging in her face?”

  Joyce thought about the last day of school and the huge zit that she had been trying to cover with her hair. And the way Lynn’s hair kept falling forward as they washed the beakers. So it wasn’t really Joyce that he saw that day. He didn’t think, technically, that she was ugly, but had mistaken her for Lynn because of the hair in her face.

  Joyce gazed up at John Ford Kang, meeting his large brown-green eyes with her own perfectly folded eyes. He was everything she had dreamed. Imagined. Wished for all year long. It was finally happening. To Joyce! She could feel the energy surging from his powerfully built body, felt the pull of his laughter as he joked about Mr. Blevins and leaned in so close that Joyce could smell the sea on his skin! They were talking like they really knew each other. Magic. Lisa Yim had been right. The fold was not about how you looked so much as how it made you feel and act. Was this really the same Joyce, laughing like she had wind chimes for vocal cords? Joyce didn’t even know she could make that noise. Joyce’s spirits lifted high and fast as the volleyball that sailed over the net.

  “Hey, John,” the guy who had just served called out. “You going to play or just flirt with all the pretty ladies?”

  “I’ll be right there,” John called back.

  The guy sounded a wolf whistle loud enough to make Joyce blush.

  “I love you to
o, Eddie,” Lisa Yim called out, walking up to Joyce. “Hey, I’m glad you two met.”

  Lisa slid right up to John and leaned against his chest.

  “Did you know that Helen, I mean, Joyce and I were in the same chemistry class?” John said, stepping back.

  “Really?” Lisa said, stepping even closer and staring up into his face. “And you two never met?”

  Joyce studied how Lisa curved her body toward John.

  Lisa cooed, “I can’t believe you two were in the same class without realizing it.”

  “Well, you and I have known each other for over a year, and we didn’t really become friends until two weeks ago,” John said.

  Lisa laughed and lightly traced the muscles on John’s chest. “Yeah, that’s true.”

  A spike of pain shot through Joyce’s shoulders, making them slump forward. Her jutted hip collapsed into a slouch. Joyce could feel the tears welling in the corners of her eyes. As quickly as her heart had soared, she could feel the crush of humiliation descending on her. It had to be a mistake. Lisa was just being affectionate. Joyce pretended some sand had blown into her face.

  “Man, the wind is really kicking today,” Joyce said and turned away to rub the tears from her eyes. John wouldn’t have been so flirtatious with her if he were going out with someone else. Especially when that someone had been standing just a few steps away. But, then again, Helen did say he was a player.

  Joyce stood there rubbing her eye while her mind whirled and attached to John’s last words. Friends. He didn’t say girlfriend. He said friends. That was it. Lisa and John were family friends. Of course, his father and her uncle worked together and probably socialized together. Why wouldn’t old friends be affectionate with each other? Joyce had just been imagining things. Like always. Joyce shook herself from her reverie. Lisa and John were just friends, she convinced herself.