by Jacob Chance
Chapter Five
Zoe
The days run into one another when you’re sequestered away from everyone you know and love. I haven’t spoken to my friends in over six weeks or any of my family besides my grandmother. Not since the funeral, and that was a rushed affair. The FBI were concerned for my safety and shuttled me away as soon as they could.
Of course, my friends and extended family can’t know what really happened to my parents. The story I was instructed to repeat when asked is that the three of us were in a car accident and I was the only survivor. My grandmother is the only one who knows the truth and she would never tell anyone. I can’t wait until this is all over, so I can go visit her in Maine. I could really use one of her special hugs. They’re packed with love and reassurance. I need some of both right now.
Karyn keeps Gram updated on what’s going on and she’s passed messages back and forth for us. She also gave me a phone to use for emergency situations and instructed me to keep it with me always. I hope I never have a reason to use it.
If it wasn’t for Karyn and Nash, I’d be climbing the walls. Karyn is easy to talk to and she has a daughter not much older than me. I feel as though she could possibly understand what I’m going through.
Nash… Nash might be the perfect guy. He’s the definition of tall, dark and handsome that every girl learns about in fairy tales. He’s intelligent and fun to hang out with. He’s strong and protective of me. What girl doesn’t want a guy who will lay down his life for her? Unfortunately, he’s doing it for his job and not because he’s my boyfriend.
What would it be like to have Nash as a boyfriend? Shaking my head, I remind myself thinking about this is pointless and only wastes my time. Nash is only doing what he’s required to for work. Still, there are moments when I swear I see interest in his stare. His touches last a little bit longer and I grow more curious about what it could be like, what we might be, outside these four walls.
When I lie in bed at night, my mind is a clusterfuck of the future I could’ve had, and the life I’ve now chosen for myself. When I’m not thinking about the circumstances that brought Nash into my life, I visualize killing Popov in different scenarios. Sometimes it’s quick, a bullet to the brain and other times I drag it out, a little slice here and there, just enough to let him slowly bleed out.
As crazy as it may seem, my bloodthirsty thoughts help to calm me - they bring me focus and provide comfort. I drift off to sleep faster. My savage thoughts are a strange reminder this is my path and nothing, not a person, nor their actions can change that. Not even Nash.
It’s reassuring to think it may not be now or even anytime soon, but retribution will be mine. An urge for vengeance fills me to my very marrow, and sometimes it’s all that motivates me to keep moving from one day to the next. I will see him pay for what he’s done. Someday, we’ll be standing across from one another and he’ll know who’s ending his life and why. A-fucking-men.
A slapping strike to my midsection surprises me. “Focus, Zoe. Get your head out of the fucking clouds,” Nash growls. We’ve been working out and sparring almost every day now.
Physically, I feel stronger than ever, my reflexes and instincts sharper. My training is so much more intense under him. His ability to take the techniques and skills I learned in Taekwondo and alter them for reality based, real world scenarios is changing the way I look at everything I’ve learned. I’m addicted to the training and I’m feeling more empowered with each lesson.
Clearing my mind, I quickly focus back on Nash who is circling me slowly around the room.
“That’s right stay with me.” He smirks.
A few weeks ago, I never would’ve noticed how he’s stepping in closer and pushing me back with each pass. He’s trying to passively guide me into a corner where he’ll have the advantage. His size and strength will become nearly insurmountable if he succeeds.
I find his rhythm, preparing to strike and make a move as he’s been teaching me. But he suddenly changes his pattern, stepping back in the opposite direction, before instantly springing forward. I freeze for what feels like a fraction of a second and it’s too late.
Nash spins me at the shoulders, wraps me up and pins me against the wall with my arms held behind my back. He’s pressed in tightly and has me completely secured, with his body against mine. The more I struggle, the tighter he cinches his hold on me from behind. Before I can react, or submit, he sweeps me down onto my stomach and chest, easing his full weight down on top of me. I feel his legs intertwined with mine, his chest against my back, his hips against my ass. I can feel the strength in his hands gripped together behind my back. His quickened breath on my neck is intoxicating. Almost at the same time we both realize I’m not struggling anymore.
“Don’t give up so easily.” Nash slowly releases my arms and places his palms against the floor on either side of my face. “Let’s try this again.” He sounds annoyed.
One of his forearms lightly brushes my cheek. I find myself raising my hips back toward his and digging my fingers into one of his thighs as he lifts his body away from mine. Nash is briefly confused by my actions and it’s just enough time for me.
I roll over on to my back, hitting him with a quick elbow on the way. He’s stunned but it won’t last. I plant both of my heels into his hips and kick with everything I have. Nash falls on to his back and tumbles across the floor, hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room. I’m surprised by my own strength and the smile on my face is only matched by the one Nash is sporting.
“Now that’s how it’s done.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out the question I’ve been dying to ask for weeks now.
Nash’s head snaps up from the magazine he’s reading. “Huh?”
Resting my elbow on the arm of the couch, I cup my chin and stare in his direction. “Do you have girlfriend?”
“What makes you think I’m not married?”
I gesture to his hand. “No ring.”
“Maybe I just don’t wear it to work.”
“Are you married or not?”
“Nope.” He grins.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” This question is just as inappropriate the third time I ask, but I want to know. I’m not sure why, but I feel a pressing need to know. Maybe it’s because I find myself thinking about Nash at various points throughout the day. My eyes seek him out when I enter a room and the constant pressure in my chest lightens with relief when they find him. I’m not ready to place a label on what having those feelings means.
“Not at the moment.” Butterflies do a celebratory dance in my stomach.
“Why not?”
He places the magazine in his lap and rests his head onto the back cushion of the recliner. The motion has the muscles in his chest flexing under his white t-shirt and I wonder what he’d look like without it on? Does he have hair on his chest? Any tattoos?
“Why do you need to know?”
“I’m stuck here twenty-four-seven with you and Karyn and I know pretty much nothing about you. You know plenty about me. I think it’s only fair you share some details too,” I inform him boldly.
He smirks. “Oh, you do, huh?”
My chin juts out audaciously. “Yes, I do.”
“I’m twenty-eight years old and an only child.”
“And?”
“And what? I just told you about me.”
“Pftt. Please. That’s bare bones, surface stuff. Tell me something good. Give me the deets, man.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not sure what qualifies as good.”
“Something juicy. Anything you don’t want to tell me.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “Relationship stuff. You know, stuff guys don’t like to talk about and girls do.”
“Isn’t that pretty much everything besides sports?”
“I like sports, but we can talk about that some other time. How old were you when you kissed a girl for the first time?”
“Ten.”
“
With tongue?”
“Yep.”
“Wow. That’s young.”
“What can I say? I was advanced for my age.” He grins charmingly and my stomach flutters pleasantly.
“Age when you first had sex?”
“Okay, we’re jumping right into the deep end, huh? I was fourteen and she was seventeen.”
My nose scrunches up. “Eww. Fourteen is still a child.”
“I didn’t look fourteen or act like it.”
“Still gross.”
“It didn’t feel gross.” He smirks.
“Where did this happen?”
“I was at a party and we ended up in one of the bedrooms. That’s all I’m saying about it.”
“Fine.” I stick my tongue out at him. “Be that way. How many women have you slept with?”
“Slow down there. That question is completely out of line.”
I’m aware I crossed a line I shouldn’t have, but I want to know. I’m sure he’s got a lot of experience, but how much exactly? And why does the thought of him having experience make my chest all fluttery?
“And asking when you lost your virginity wasn’t?”
“That’s beside the point. Ask me something less personal and maybe I’ll answer it.”
“Do you own a house?”
“No, I rent a condo.”
“How come?” I press.
“I work a lot of hours as I’m sure you’ve surmised, and I don’t have time to be taking care of a house.”
“Where did you go to college?”
“I went to Northeastern.”
“What’s your degree in?”
“Criminal Justice.”
“Did you always want to be an agent?”
“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cop or a fireman.”
“When did that change?”
“My dad was a cop and my uncle a fireman. I guess after 9/11 I wanted to do something along the same lines, but on a national scale.”
“My parents had similar attitudes about working for the FBI.”
“The fact that I can transfer to any office in the country holds a certain appeal too.”
“Would you move out of Massachusetts?”
He shrugs. “Never say never, right? It would depend on a lot of different factors.”
“If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life what would it be?” I ask, deciding to lighten the tone of our conversation.
“Pizza. It’s good for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack. It’s the most versatile food.”
“Good answer.” I give him a thumbs up.
“Milk chocolate or dark chocolate?”
“What kind of a savage doesn’t prefer milk chocolate?” I smile.
“E-book or paperback?”
“Paperback. I don’t have a kindle.”
I gasp in shock. “No kindle? How is this possible? Everyone should have a kindle.”
“What can I say?” He shrugs. “I like regular books.”
“You know you can download the kindle app on your phone for free, right?”
“Yep, but I don’t download apps on my phone; it’s strictly for work.”
“Snowboarding or skiing?” I resume my questioning.
“Snowboarding. Swimming in the ocean or swimming in a lake?” he counters.
“I love the ocean. It’s so alive and powerful. Everything’s at its mercy.”
“Is that why you want to be an agent?”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“Then you can be in control and not at someone else’s mercy?” I mull over his words for a minute. Is he onto something?
No, he’s not. I’ve wanted to be an agent for longer than I’ve felt like a victim. There’s no other career I’ve even considered.
“No, that’s not it at all.”
He nods slowly, his golden eyes studying my face. “Good. I know you’ve been through more than most people can even fathom, but you’re not a victim, Zoe. You’re a fighter and a survivor. No matter what you decide to pursue for a career, it won’t change the core of who you are. I have no doubt you’ll be successful in whatever field you work.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. Especially with everything that’s happened lately. There are so many factors I can’t control, half the time, I’m not sure if I’m coming or going. When I think about the future, it stretches bleakly out in front of me. The uncertainty is the worst.”
“One way or another, time will take care of all the things you’re concerned about. Why waste the present worrying about the future?”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“You’re complicating things that don’t need to be. There’s uncertainty in life no matter what. You need to enjoy the journey, that’s where all the magic happens. Where you end up is never as important as how you got there.”
Chapter Six
Nash
“Hi, how’s everything?” I question Agent Smith when I arrive at the safe house for my next shift.
She rises from the recliner and jerks her head toward the kitchen. My eyes sweep to Zoe sleeping on the couch, before I follow after Karyn.
“How is she?”
She holds her hand up, tipping it from side to side. “So-so.”
“What’s going on?” My arms cross over my chest and my head cocks to the side, ready to listen.
“She had a tough day. It was her mom’s birthday and it brought up a lot of bittersweet memories for her. She’ll be okay, but she’s emotionally drained.”
“That’s why she’s asleep so early?”
“Yeah. She melted down after dinner and we talked it out. She wanted to watch How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, but she was out before the first half was over.”
I’m not surprised at her movie selection after what she told me about watching it with her parents. “I’m just gonna let her sleep for now. She probably needs the rest more than anything.” Maybe by the time she wakes she’ll feel better.
“Poor angel’s been through enough. I can’t wait until the trials are over and she can return to her normal life.”
I nod but find myself wondering what her new version of normal will mean. I know her future will be nothing like she envisioned seven weeks ago.
Agent Smith leaves and I sink down into the recliner. Opening my laptop, I take care of answering emails and finish up reports I need to write. It takes me the better part of three hours until I’m shutting down my laptop and setting it aside on the table. When I glance at my watch I notice it’s after eleven o’clock and my eyes travel to Zoe, observing her sleeping form. Lying on her back, she’s stretched out, hands folded neatly over her stomach. Her oval face so serene in sleep, doesn’t hint at how expressive it can be when she’s in the midst of a discussion. No one would guess her striking sky colored eyes could flash like the bluest part of a flame when she’s angry or how they sparkle adorably when she laughs.
Rising to my feet, I stretch and roll the tightness from my neck. I roam from room to room, making sure everything is locked up and secure, before I scoop Zoe up from the couch. Carefully, I carry her down the hall and into the room she’s using. Tugging the covers back, I gently set her down on the mattress and switch on the bedside lamp, so she won’t be disoriented when she wakes. She stirs as I back away, her eyes wild with panic. “It’s okay, Zoe. You’re okay.”
She sits up placing a hand on her chest as she gasps for air.
“Breathe,” I encourage, rubbing my hand up and down between her shoulder blades. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
She chews on her bottom lip and then gives a barely discernible head shake.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“I’ll be down the hall if you need me.” I take a step backward.
“No. Don’t leave me.” Her panic is clear, and I move closer to the edge of the bed. “I don’t want to be alone,” she confesses, her voice wobbling. When her tear-filled eyes begin to overflow, my chest i
nexplicably tightens.
Sinking down onto the mattress I wrap an arm around her shoulders and her head tucks under my chin. “You’re okay. I’ll stay right here until you fall asleep.”
“No.” Her head snaps up, wide eyes connecting with mine. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me,” she pleads in a heartbreakingly panicked tone while her fingers nervously grip my shirt.
“Shh.” I pull her more fully into my arms and do my best to soothe her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She climbs into my lap, wrapping herself around me like a child looking for solace. Her hold is tight as if she’s making sure I’m not merely paying lip service and doling out empty promises about staying. “Don’t worry angel, I’ll be here the whole time.”
Pressing a kiss on her temple, I bury my nose in her soft, fragrant hair. She smells sweet like dessert and I quickly remind myself not to take a bite of her - not even one tiny taste. She’s forbidden fruit no matter how I look at it and I won’t do anything to cross that line. I won’t put my job in jeopardy, it’s the most important thing to me. Besides, Zoe’s still in shock and vulnerable, and I don’t want her to think there can ever be more between us than whatever relationship we currently have.
She shifts in my arms, pressing into my semi hard dick. Gritting my teeth, I grimace. We’ve already crossed lines we shouldn’t have. What is it about her that has me making concessions I’ve never allowed before?
Awareness creeps around the edges of my sleep, dotting the blackness with light, but I push it away. I’m so comfortable right now; more than ever before. The female form contoured against the front of my body couldn’t be more perfect. My arm around her waist, draws her back until a round ass presses into my hard cock. I want to be as close to her as I can - an inch of space between us would be too much distance. She fits against me like a puzzle piece and there’s a sense of rightness about this moment.
