by Jacob Chance
My eyelids slowly open, pausing at half-mast before raising the rest of the way in a panic when I notice Zoe’s in my arms. Fuck. I’m so screwed. I can’t believe I let this happen and how the hell am I going to get out of here without waking her? I freeze in place, barely breathing as I try to form an exit strategy.
She wiggles her ass back into me and I clench my teeth, biting back a groan. When she does it a second time, my hand clamps on her hip, stilling her motion.
“Knock it off.” I know she’s awake.
Turning over to face me, she stares up with sleepy eyes and tousled hair. It’s all I can do to resist the urge to roll on top of her and start the morning in the best possible way.
She smiles. “I slept better than I have in weeks.”
Grunting, I back away, placing distance between us.
“No, don’t.” Her arm wraps around my waist. “I’m so comfortable and I haven’t felt this safe since my parents…” she trails off.
“Zoe,” I shake my head at a loss of what to say as I stare down into her pleading blue eyes.
“Please Nash. Just for a minute more?”
Fuck. She could talk the devil into reforming his evil ways. Wrapping an arm around her waist, I pull her close. She burrows against me like a needy kitten, burying her face in my neck. Her warm breath teases my skin with every exhale and my morning wood is like the super boner from hell. I’m painfully hard.
Zoe’s lips press against my skin and her tongue licks the base of my neck. A groan slips between my lips and I let her continue even though I know this is wrong. Her mouth lays a trail of kisses up my neck until she rubs her lips back and forth on my stubble covered chin. The sweet gesture is sexy as hell. I fight the urge to pin her down and ravage her from head to toe, instead I lie still and let her continue.
“I’ve been wondering if it was rough or softer than it looks.” Her hand joins in, caressing over my chin and her index finger traces above my mouth before moving to my lips. She outlines their shape, her touch innately sensual. Fuck my resolve. Why am I resisting her?
Rolling to my back, I pull Zoe on top of me. “And?” I prompt, hoarsely as her pussy presses against my cock.
She runs her lips over my jaw, then hovers closely over me. Our mouths are separated by only an inch and her warm breath fans over my face temptingly.
“It’s softer than I imagined.”
Gripping the back of her hair in my fist, I urge her head down until I capture her lips with a hungry growl. Her mouth parts and our greedy tongues meet for the first time. She whimpers into my mouth and rolls her hips, grinding down onto my cock. Our kiss is explosive like bombs going off in a war zone. Both of us take what we want without restraint. She’s passionate and untamed as she derives pleasure from my body. Our lips never part as my hand grips her hip, guiding her rhythm as she rocks her clit against me until she comes. Tremors quake through her and I swallow the gasp she expels. She tears her lips from mine, panting uncontrollably and collapses on my chest.
Reality punches me in the face hard and fast. Oh shit. What the fuck have I done? I roll her off me to her back on the mattress. Moving away, I sit up on the edge of the bed, placing my sock covered feet on the floor. Resting my elbows on the knees of my jeans, I grip my head in both hands, pressing the heels of my palms into my eye sockets. This is a fuck up of epic proportions. How the hell did I let this happen? Not only did I spend the night in her arms, but I encouraged her to dry hump me. And I didn’t check in with the other team members at all. Jumping to my feet, I grab my phone out of my pocket and read the messages I missed, quickly typing one back.
“Nash.”
I take two steps toward the door before my feet halt and I turn to face Zoe. She leans on her elbow, head cradled in her palm and my chest tugs when I meet her eyes. I see so much emotion staring back at me. I lose myself in the war between what I want to say and what I must say. Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I berate myself for being weak. Get a grip and do the right thing. When my lids open, I steel my expression and run a hand through my hair.
“I’m sorry for everything that happened. I know better and I never should have sat down on the bed with you in the first place. It was inappropriate behavior on my part and I take full responsibility. If you’re uncomfortable with me now, I can ask for another agent to take my place.”
She sits up, the covers falling around her waist. I force myself to focus on her face.
“What are you talking about? I was upset, and you made me feel better. How is that wrong?”
“I’m an adult and you’re vulnerable from losing your parents. None of this should’ve happened.”
“Nash, get over it. I’m not some young, naive girl so don’t pretend I am. It’s insulting, and I don’t deserve it. If you want to blame yourself for something that naturally happened go nuts, but I don’t regret it. I like you and I hope it happens again. If you can’t admit you enjoyed it too that’s your problem. You didn’t kiss me like someone who’s not interested.” Her expression is open and honest as she bravely exposes her feelings for me.
“It can’t happen again, and it won’t.” My tone is firm as my feet back toward the door. “Think about what I said. If you want a new agent, just let me know.”
She rolls her eyes in answer as I turn around, walking from the room. Once I’m in the hallway, I pause, bracing a hand against the wall. I can’t believe what just happened and the worst part is I didn’t want it to end. I’d be climbing right back in her bed if I could.
Stalking down the hall, I head for the kitchen. I need coffee, stat.
I splash some cold water on my face and comb my wet fingers through my hair, while I wait for the coffeemaker to heat up. Bracing my palms on the edge of the counter I stare out the window over the sink, my eyes carefully roaming the woods. Fortunately, it was a quiet night. If it hadn’t been, both Zoe and I would likely be dead right now.
Small bare feet pad across the floor behind me. “Nash.” Zoe’s arms snake around me. I can feel her taut nipples against my back and I’m instantly hard.
“Zoe,” I growl. “Let go.”
Her arms tighten, hands resting at the top of my jeans. My nostrils flair and my eyes squeeze shut. It would be so easy to take what she’s offering, but she’s so young. She has no idea what she’d be getting herself into. I’m not a teenage boy and I don’t fuck like one either.
“Nash.” Her hands slip under my t-shirt to caress the skin along my waistband. My eyes snap open and I turn, gripping under her arms. Her face registers surprise when I lift her, spin around and set her down in front of me on the edge of the sink. Pressing my cock between her legs, I grind against her. She gasps, and my fingers slide up her back, burying in the thick depths of her dark chocolate strands. Tugging her head back, my lips move to her neck. I place sharp, biting kisses on the column of delicate skin moving up to hover over her shiny pink lips.
“Is this what you want?” I yank on her hair, pulling her head back and drive my cock against her center. “Do you want a hard fuck in the kitchen because that’s all it would be.”
Staring up at me, her blue eyes search mine for a hint of emotion I can’t afford to let her see.
“Do you?” I jerk her hair once more.
“No.” Her answer is so soft I barely hear it.
“There can’t be anything between us, Zoe. It’s never going to happen, and you need to let this schoolgirl - older man fantasy go. Do you hear me?”
“Yep, I hear your bullshit, but the question is do you?”
“Go find something to do.” I ignore her question.
She slaps away my hands as I attempt to help her down from the counter. Slipping down on her own, she lands gracefully on her feet, before racing from the room.
I collapse against the counter with a shaky sigh. Pushing her away required a lot more will than I imagined it would. Once my lips tasted her skin and my cock settled between her legs, I didn’t want to be anywhere else. And I certai
nly didn’t want to stop until I’d sampled every delectable inch of her before burying myself deep inside her.
I slam my palm down on the counter. “Fuck.”
These trials can’t happen fast enough. Hopefully, the dates will be set soon, and Zoe can move on to college and I can begin working on my next assignment.
Chapter Seven
Zoe
Two weeks ago, I made a horrible decision I can’t undo. I never should’ve revealed my feelings to Nash. When he didn’t know, everything was fine. But he was the one who kissed me whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. I don’t know what’s worse. Knowing that he wants me or the rejection that he doesn’t want me enough to give us a shot.
Ever since that morning he’s been distant, barely speaking to me. Our interactions have become so strained and awkward, I want them to be over as soon as possible. I miss his company and our talks. He’d become a friend to me when I needed one most and now he’s not even training me anymore. It’s as if he can’t stand being around me for a second longer than he must. It hurts to know I mean so little, he can’t even pretend things are normal between us.
I swipe my arm over my forehead, wiping the sweat away and take a drink from my water bottle before setting it down on the floor. I’ve been working out for two hours. Training is the only solace I have, and I use it to keep the sadness of losing my parents at bay. It also helps me exhaust myself enough that I can fall asleep quickly. If not, I’ll replay how good the kiss was, and how good we were together and how much more I want.
We finally got word the trials will begin in two weeks. If I wasn’t so nervous about having to face Sergei and Karl, I might be excited. As intimidating as the thought of seeing them again is, it also gives me hope I can return to some sense of normalcy soon. I need this nightmare to be over once and for all, so I can go to college and have a fresh start.
Karyn pops her head in the room, a smile spreads across her cheeks. “I’m getting ready to head out now that Nash is here. Do you need anything before I go?”
Blowing out a large sigh, I place my hands on my hips and walk toward her. I wish she wasn’t leaving. I don’t want to spend another awkward night with Nash.
“When am I going to see you next?” Karyn has become important to me during the two months we’ve been together. She’s a surrogate mother, best friend and mentor all rolled into one. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through all this without her.
“I’ll be back tomorrow at noon. Want me to bring you anything?”
“Can you bring me chicken nuggets and fries? I haven’t had McD’s in so long.”
“I can do that. How about a shake too?”
“Yes, please.” I bounce on the balls of my feet excitedly. “A large one, chocolate with extra whipped cream.”
“You got it, doll. Have a good night.” She leans forward and touches my cheek, then disappears from my sight. I hear her heels ticking against the wooden floor as she walks down the hall.
Standing in front of the stove, I stir the chicken and vegetables in the skillet, spreading the seasoning evenly around. Grabbing another spoon from the counter I swirl it through the rice and turn both burners off.
“Damn, what smells so good?” Nash walks up beside me.
My eyes flick in his direction. I can’t believe he’s speaking to me when he doesn’t have to.
“It’s stir-fry.” I scoop heaping portions onto two plates and hand one off to him.
“Uh uh.” He shakes his head and motions with his hand to keep it coming.
“More?” I arch a brow. I gave him a double portion already.
“Hell yes. Load it up. It smells fantastic.”
“You asked for it.” I tip the pan over and dump out the remainder doubling the amount of stir-fry he has.
“Rice too, please.”
I repeat the process and empty the rice pan onto the growing mound on his plate.
He ambles over to the table and sinks down on a chair. His fork dips into the food and he shovels a large bite into his mouth. “Mmm. Oh my God this is the best thing I’ve eaten since you made those empanadas.”
“Really? What’s so exciting about stir fry?” There are a lot of foods I’d rather have, especially chicken nuggets and fries. Tomorrow afternoon can’t come soon enough. Closing the distance between us, I set my plate down across from him, before heading back to the fridge.
“Fuck yes. I’ll eat this any time you want to make it.”
Opening the door, I remove a bottle of lemonade. “Nash, what do you want to drink?”
“Water please,” he answers, his mouth full of food.
My eyes roll in disgust. Food turns all men into animals. Grabbing a water, I hip check the door shut and place the bottles on the table in front of our respective meals and then settle onto my chair.
We eat in companionable silence for the first time in two weeks. Our meals have all been strained with tension since that fateful morning so I’m glad it seems to have dissipated, at least for now.
“How’s your training been going?” Nash questions before his last mouthful. His plate is completely clean, not even one crumb to be seen.
“Good. I’ve been keeping it up. Even though you quit on me.” Glancing at him under my lashes, I wait to see how he’ll react.
“I didn’t quit on you.” He points his fork at me before placing it down on his plate. “We just took a temporary break. We can get back in the groove again tomorrow if you want.”
I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly, acting as if I don’t care.
“If you don’t want to that works too.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested.”
“You didn’t exactly act like you were.”
“I’m ecstatic on the inside, okay?” I smirk.
“Okay, smartass. We’ll settle this tomorrow on the mats.” He grins, evilly.
“Are you sure you’re not going to change your mind between now and then?”
“Yes, I am. And don’t give me that look.” He tips his chin in my direction. “You know why things have been different and if you don’t I can refresh your memory.”
“I know why, but I don’t think it was necessary. You made your lack of feelings for me crystal clear that morning. You didn’t have to go silent on me for two weeks.”
“Zoe, you don’t know why if you’re saying I lack feelings for you. It’s because I do care about you more than I should that nothing can happen between us. Lines were blurring, and distance was the best way to stop it. In another time and place things might have been different, but we’re here and you deserve more than I’d give you. Don’t ever sell yourself short. You’re special, Zoe. You’re the life changing kind of girl that only comes along once in a lifetime. Knowing the timing is so wrong for us makes me sad as hell.”
I wave my hand in front of my face dismissively. If he keeps going I might cry and I don’t want him to see how much his words affect me. I’m still devastated we can’t be together, but he might have repaired a little piece of my broken heart.
“It’s water under the bridge. How do you feel about ice cream for dessert?” My voice sounds deceivingly calm.
“Do we have cones?”
“Do we have cones?” I arch a brow. “We have sugar, waffle and cake.” Nash grins and rubs his hands together. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
I’m still shaking my head but laughing to myself at his happiness over ice cream cones when I catch a glimpse of someone moving across the back of the property. “Nash.” I close the freezer door. The spoon clatters to the floor, falling from my numb fingers as I retreat back toward the table by his side.
“Get down.” Nash is up and coming for me before I can reach him. He doesn't wait for me to react, grabbing the back of my neck and spinning me down behind the island cabinet.
“Bravo team - bravo team, we have a bogey along the tree line in back.”
Nash has his pistol in hand as he flips off the kitchen light and star
es out into the darkness.
“Bravo team, we have a perimeter breach at the six o’clock position, request immediate response.” He keeps his eyes focused laser sharp on the tree line, slipping between the kitchen windows and checking every angle for any further movement.
“Bravo - bravo… Johnson - Williams where the fuck are you guys?” There’s no response.
“Oh shit.” I can’t help it. “Nash.” The memory of my parents’ murder, of Karl and Sergei, comes flashing back into my mind as if it’s happening all over again. It’s more than I can handle. “Nash, please tell me this isn’t happening.” My hands start to shake. “This can’t be happening.”
Seconds tick away and the only sound I can hear is my own stuttering, panicked breathing in the hollow silence blanketing the house.
“Easy, Zoe.” Nash is suddenly behind me, whispering in my ear. I turn to face him, feeling like I’m going to burst into tears at any moment.
“Listen to me, Zoe. It’s just you and me. No one else is coming to help us, okay?” he speaks quietly, holding my face with his gun free hand. “I need you to focus and breathe slower.”
I concentrate on slowing the pace of my breaths and it helps right away.
“Good, good.” Nash brushes the hair off my cheek. “Zoe, I need you to accept that things are about to get ugly. They’re coming to kill you. They’ll kill me to get to you. It’s going to happen fast. It’s going to be loud. It’s going to be bloody. People are going to die. But you will not be one of them.” He manages a small smile. “This time you're not alone. You've got me right here with you. And I promise I’m going to kill every fucking one of these assholes.”
A paralyzing fear grips me. “I can’t do this.” I bow my head and begin to cry.
“Stop it.” Nash grabs my chin and raises my face up. Even with the dim lighting I can see his eyes focused straight on mine. “You’ve been through this before and survived.” The confidence in his voice calms me. “You survived, right?”
