Heartstopper

by Lauren Landish

  When Lucian pulls back, my chest is heaving as I release breathless pants. That kiss was intense, and it goes a long way in calming me. Lucian obviously isn’t calling things off. Yet.

  “What was that all about?” I ask breathlessly.

  “You asked for more. That was me giving you more.”

  I try to respond, but I’m not sure how. I didn’t expect this. This can’t really be happening.

  I part my lips to say something, anything, but Lucian places his fingers against them, quieting me. “Shhh. This is about me and you right now. Let me give you what you asked for. We’re not going to the playroom tonight. Tonight, it’s just us.”

  Just us? I stare at him in shock, hardly trusting what he’s offering. Lucian appears to be dangling everything I could ever want, right in front of me. I should be jumping for joy, yet I’m still worried that this is all some sort of cruel joke.

  “Will that make you happy, treasure?” he asks, looking me straight in the eyes and making me weak in the knees. I can’t believe it. I want to clarify what more means to him. But I can’t. I’m afraid of the answer, and the deadline approaching us.

  “Yes… Lucian,” I respond softly.

  “You’re doing well,” Lucian whispers in my ear, his breath hot on my neck as he places his large hands atop mine and gently guides them in kneading the big ball of dough on the cutting board in front of us.

  For dinner, Lucian wanted to pass on takeout and bond over making homemade pizza. I was apprehensive about it as I’ve only made it a few times before, and it’s never turned out well. But Lucian assured me it would be fine, that I had all I needed, chiefly him to guide me. Turns out he was right, the dough is almost perfect. And the experience has been one of the most pleasant things I’ve done in a while.

  I could learn to love this, I think dreamily, enjoying the sensation of Lucian’s closeness.

  A soft sigh escapes my lips as I’m pulled out of my thoughts and feel the heat of his body behind me, his hands guiding mine in a very sensual and deliberate manner, and his big hard dick pressing up against my ass.

  “Do you like that, treasure?” Lucian says in my ear, nibbling on my neck, gyrating his cock gently up against my ass cheek, while pressing my hands into the soft dough, molding it into a flat surface.

  “Yes,” I moan, my pussy clenching repeatedly with need. “Please give it to me, sir.”

  Lucian kisses me several more times on the neck before saying, “Uh-uh, treasure. Not until we finish this pizza.” He huffs out a small chuckle in my ear. “Or at least get it in the oven.”

  I feel like this is cruel and unusual punishment, pressing his big cock up against me, and then telling me I can’t have it until we finish. But I know better than to argue. I just need to get this pizza crust done pronto, throw on the sauce and toppings: pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, onions, four cheeses, and then throw it in the oven. So I can get all of that big fucking cock.

  I continue to let Lucian guide me with molding the dough, and by the time we finish the crust I’m completely covered in flour. But worse than that, my panties are soaked.

  “See, treasure?” Lucian asks, stepping out from behind me and filling me with disappointment. Unlike me, Lucian only has flour on his hands and a little bit on his blue apron. He nods at the crust we made and places it on the pizza pan next to the cutting board. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  I shake my head, blushing, wishing he were still behind me. “No, I enjoyed it. A lot.”

  Lucian gives me a hooded look filled with desire, and a promise of what is to come and my breath quickens. “As did I.”

  I blush harder and I’m about to reply when my cell, which is lying on the end of the counter, goes off with rapid dings. Lucian glances at it and then gives me a look.

  I shrug, wiping my hands off with the towel and wondering if it’s my mom. Maybe she changed her mind about Christmas.

  Before I can take two steps, my phone goes off several more times and I pause. It’s unusual I get that many texts in such rapid fashion. Maybe I should check to see who it is. Wiping my hands on a dishrag, I walk over and pick up the phone, but I almost drop it a second later when I see the series of texts, a cold chill striking my spine.

  “Oh my God,” I gasp, my heart pounding wildly in my chest, dropping my phone to the counter.

  Lucian tears his eyes away from the stove and settles them on me. “What’s wrong?” he asks with concern.

  I place a hand over my chest to calm my rapidly beating heart. “Those texts I just got... they were from my mom.”

  Lucian goes rigid and he clenches his jaw, but I’m too freaked out to really respond to his strange reaction. “And?” he asks.

  I take a deep breath, trying to calm my pulse. “She said my uncle was found dead...” my voice trails off as my mind races in disbelief. My blood heats, and my breath is coming in short pants. The person who’d caused me so much grief is now dead. It doesn’t even sound real. He’s gone.

  Lucian doesn’t immediately respond, but I take his silence as shock.

  “I can’t believe it.” The words fall from my lips as I read the texts over and over.

  I glance at Lucian, noticing that his entire demeanor has changed. The playfulness I enjoyed while we made the crust is gone.

  His face is emotionless. I’ve seen the look before. It’s his mask. He’s hiding what he truly thinks. A wave of a chill runs through my body, turning my blood to ice. I almost ask him if he knew. He doesn’t look surprised. He seems to be waiting for something. Or hiding something.

  My heart thuds hard in my chest as I tear my eyes away from him. The thoughts in my head are just paranoia; horrible suspicion pressing down on my chest, a suspicion I desperately don't want to believe.

  “Lucian?” I say his name as a question although I can’t ask what I really want to know. Something deep down in the pit of my stomach is telling me he did this. Maybe he’s not the one who pulled the trigger. But Lucian murdered him.

  I swallow thickly as his heavy footsteps approach me.

  I have to hold on to the counter to keep myself upright, suddenly feeling like I’m going to faint.

  “Are you alright, treasure?” Lucian asks, concern returning to his voice as he walks over and wraps his arms around me, holding me close. I feel awful for leaning into him. For even thinking he did this. The club is full of powerful men. You don’t want to be their enemy. Carla’s words echo in my head as he rubs soothing circles on my arm.

  Swallowing back a wave of uncertainty, I reply, “I’m fine.”

  Chapter 27

  Lucian

  I haven’t taken a day away from the office in a very long time. But there was no way I was going to leave Dahlia today. We only have today and tomorrow left.

  I still have work to do, and so does she, but as soon as I’m finished, she’s all mine.

  My treasure is waiting for me in the living room. The last I saw her she was sprawled out on the rug with several textbooks and sketchpads, preparing for her final semester and an event for work.

  My body relaxes as I remember how she asked me to go with her. She’s still coming around to being open with me and telling me what her needs are, but she’s doing much better now. It was so obvious that she thought I’d say no, but she’s my priority.

  I open the desk drawer and take out the contract. I need to extend it, and I’ve been typing up the language for my half of the contract for the last hour. I’ve been distracted by the incessant phone calls from PR and my lawyer. I couldn't care less at this point. If my ex is going to publish her tell-all, I’ll sue her. I’m not giving her another penny. They don’t seem to agree with my tactic, but I don’t care anymore.

  I’m done with her. Tricia is my past, and that’s where she’ll stay. If she wants to publish lies, then she can make herself a liar and wind up in court.

  I sigh heavily and hate that I’ve given any more energy to her at all. My head is pounding with a relentless headach
e. My temples throb with pain that just isn’t leaving. I take another two Advil from the bottle on my desk and wash it down with my coffee.

  It’s almost room temperature now, but I only need the caffeine. A smile graces my lip when my fingers run over the engraving on the outside of the steel mug. Please, sir.

  She thinks she’s cute, my treasure. And she is.

  My heart swells for a moment, but then my computer pings with yet another email. This one is from the executives that head up development.

  I put my mug down on the desk, intent on getting to work and tying up these loose ends. Once I’m done for today, I’m going on vacation. I want time for just the two of us. She’ll be busy once school starts, but until then, her time is mine. And I want it all. Linda’s processing applications for another two executive assistants. I need to start delegating more work. It’s a slow going process, but I’m working on it.

  I focus on the tasks at hand and make the final decisions on several contracts with ease. Knowing that once this is done with, I’ll be able to enjoy my treasure makes the time go by quickly.

  A timid knock at the office door makes my fingers pause on the keyboard.

  “Come in.”

  Dahlia peeks her head in, only partially opening the door. “Are you busy?”

  I have a moment.” I really do need to get this shit done. But I can put it on pause for her.

  She walks easily to the desk and I turn my chair so she can sit on my lap. I love the feel of her body against mine. Her warmth and gentle touches soothe me.

  I lay a hand on her thigh and plant a small kiss on her neck.

  “Will you be done soon?” she asks me. Tricia used to ask me that all the time. At first, anyway. She stopped a few months into the marriage, when she gave up.

  I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. The headache is coming on full force now. I hate that the thought of Tricia ever came to my mind because of something my treasure said. They’re nothing alike.

  “I have another two hours at least,” I tell her, knowing that it’ll possibly be more, but I’ll come back and finish once she’s gone to bed. I’ll make time for her. I’m committed to that.

  “I was going to make dinner,” she wraps her arms around my shoulders, “or maybe order something?”

  “What do you want?” I ask her. A sweet smile slips into place on her lips.

  “That’s what I came in to ask you.” I hug her waist closer to me, her ass slipping against my cock and stirring desire. I nip her neck and debate on taking her now. Sating her so she can relax while I finish this.

  “What’s this?” she asks, her forehead pinched.

  I glance down at the contract on the desk. “It’s not ready yet. It’s the new contract.”

  She picks up the papers and skims through them.

  My body tenses as the crease in her forehead becomes deeper and the look of unhappiness is evident in her eyes.

  “I don’t want to sign this,” she says finally. Her voice is full of apprehension and soft with doubt. But she looks back at me, setting the papers down with strength and finality. She shakes her head. “I don’t want to sign it.”

  I didn’t expect that. My body chills at how resolute her decision is. “Do you want more money?” I ask her, not knowing what other problems she could have with it. I’ve put in her needs. I know I’ll meet them. These past few days have been nothing but perfection.

  Dahlia pushes away from me and climbs off of my lap, her warmth leaving me wanting her. I grip her hips to keep her from leaving me but she slaps me away, catching me by surprise.

  I quickly rise from my desk, the chair falling backward onto the floor. A touch of fear flashes in her eyes as she walks backward.

  I raise my hands, although my voice is strong and my eyes are narrowed. “Dahlia,” I say and her eyes fly to mine. She looks angry, but more than that, upset.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask her, although I’m not a fucking idiot. I shouldn’t have implied that it was about money. It’s a habit of mine. It’s hard breaking them, but I know my treasure better than that. It’s not about the money for her. I should have known that.

  “I don’t want your money,” her voice cracks slightly as she crosses her arms and looks away. “I’m not-”

  “I’m sorry.” I walk toward her, slowly moving my hands around her hips. I can tell she wants to push me away, she wants to leave, but she’s my Submissive.

  She should have known better than to leave me like she did. She knows better than that. But then again, I knew better than to bring up money.

  “Look at me,” I say and as the words leave my lips, she obeys. A small frown mars her beautiful face. “Whatever you want to change in the contract, just let me know.”

  She shakes her head, and her face crumples. “I don’t want a contract.”

  My grip on her tightens, and my heart races in my chest.

  “I don’t know why you want this if we’re… if we’re more than this.” Her voice is shaky, and she’s obviously extremely upset. I don’t understand why though.

  I hate that she’s questioning me. I need contracts. Whatever she wants to change, I can alter. I don’t mind that.

  “I want this, treasure. I need this.” I understand it’s fucked up. But I do. I need to know that when I make her angry, or when I fail her, she can’t leave me. I need to know she’ll still be here and I’ll be able to make it right.

  “This is what I want from you… equality,” she stresses the last word and I still don’t understand. I don’t get what this has to do with the contract or anything for that matter.

  “You are my equal. How can you not see that?”

  “I’m your Submissive. I can’t be both!”

  “You are my Submissive, my other half and my equal. They’re all one and the same.” It pisses me off that she would think less of herself.

  She looks lost again. I’ll show her what it means to be mine. My everything. She’s best when she submits. She’s more comfortable in that role. This questioning everything isn’t what she needs.

  “I’ll change whatever you want, and you’ll sign the contract.” I’m forceful with her. It’s what she needs, I know it is.

  “Now get on your knees.” She just needs a hard fuck. I’ve been too busy for her. I won’t make the same mistake I made with Tricia, not with her. I can’t let her get away from me. I won’t let my treasure slip through my fingers.

  She looks back at me with uncertainty. “Did you kill him?” she asks me.

  My heart stops in my chest, my blood running cold. She hasn’t asked. She hasn’t brought it up since she got the text messages from her mother. I could tell she knew. It has to be obvious.

  “Where’s this coming from?” I ask her.

  “That’s not an answer.” Her voice is low, and wavers.

  “I’m your Dom, you’ll do well to remember that right now.”

  “I thought you said I was your equal?” she asks as she cocks a brow at me, her voice broken and raw. My heart twists in my chest.

  “Yes, you are, and yes, I had him killed.” The words slip from my lips before I can stop them, my heart beating so hard it slams with pain on each beat.

  She gasps and steps back slightly. My breathing comes in ragged as I wait for her response. I never intended on telling her. I didn’t want her to have to carry the weight of knowing. But I won’t lie to her.

  “He deserved to die, Dahlia. Not only for what he did to you, but what he continued to do after.” My words are full of conviction, but she doesn’t respond.

  She looks toward the door, but I don’t want her to leave me. She’s scared, and I can comfort her. I can make this right.

  I breathe out deeply. “I need you to understand that you’re safe. I’ll always make sure you’re safe.”

  Her breathing comes in quicker, and she looks so lost. She’s forever lost and insecure. If only she’d listen to me. “Come here.”

  “No,” she’s quick to respon
d, and it pisses me off.

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Treasure,” I say and my voice holds a note of admonishment. She’s going to be punished for deliberately disobeying me.

  “You’re not leaving, Dahlia.” I won’t let her go. I can’t. I can’t lose her.

  “I have to.” I close my eyes at her words, hating them. My hands ball into fists at my side.

  “You don’t have to do a damn thing but do as I say. Come here.”

  “Don’t make me stay. Please, don’t make me stay.” My body heats with anxiety at the fear in her voice. She’s afraid of me. Tears leak from the corners of her eyes. No. I shake my head, denying that this is even a reality. This wasn’t meant to hurt her. I only meant to give her justice.

  “It’s me, Dahlia. I’m still the same man I was.”

  “You killed him?” There’s a mix of disbelief, fear, and something else in her voice.

  I nod my head once. “I hired the hit.” Regret starts to creep in, but I refuse to allow it. I had to do the right thing. I only wish she’d understand.

  “Come here.” I soften my voice, waiting for her Submissive side to come through. I take two steps toward her and she backs away.

  “Red.” My lungs stop working as she whispers the word, shaking her head. She walks to the door, her soft footsteps echoing in the room and I let her go, standing still and just trying to breathe.

  She just needs time. The door closes behind her and I try to move, but I can’t. She safe worded me. She left me.

  She just needs time. I take in a ragged breath.

  I knew that her uncle’s death would affect her. I want to be there for her. I know what she needs.

  But she doesn’t trust me yet. She hasn’t given herself fully to me.

  I sink into my chair, hating that I had to let her leave, but knowing I’ll have her back. She can’t leave me. I know she loves me. I fucking love her, too. I’ll give her whatever she wants. I just need her back.