Broken (Broken #1)

by A. E. Murphy

  He frowns and leads me over to the bed, “You sleep here. I’ll take the couch. I’m going to have a shower, use this time to get ready.”

  “In what? I have no clothes here.”

  He hands me an empty plastic bag, “Put your clothes in here, I’ll send them to be washed and dried with my own.”

  “Okay,” I say and take the bag from his hands. “What about for the night?”

  “Here,” he says and I almost stumble backwards when he starts removing his jacket and shirt.

  “I could just sleep in the gown…” He turns his back towards me and pulls his white vest over his head before passing it to me. I take it. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ll be fine,” he says and pads into the bathroom, still only half dressed. I should cover my eyes or look away but I can’t. He has a very nice back. Very nice.

  During the time he showers I call down to reception and ask them to bring up some bed sheets and a blanket. They do so in record time and I manage to set up his bed for the night before he exits the bathroom. I also manage to strip off and pull his vest on, which would probably reach mid-thigh if I didn’t have a huge bump in the way.

  I bag up my clothes and place them by the bathroom door before climbing into bed.

  Nathan leaves the bathroom but I feign sleep to give him the privacy he deserves. Okay so I’m a liar, I peek through one eye and I’m shocked to see him in nothing but a towel, his golden skin damp and glistening in the dim light from the lamp by the couch. My eye quickly shuts again and I mentally scream, “OH MY GOD!” I’ve never been this close to a naked man other than Caleb and it’s making my heart race.

  I’m not sure why my heart is racing, my brain can’t seem to register emotions at present.

  I peek again and almost gasp when I realise he’s looking at me over his shoulder, he’s checking to see if I’m looking. I’m not. Totally not.

  His tongue peeks out and runs over his lower lip, I almost copy his action but fortunately refrain as he’s still looking at me. The muscles on his back tense as he pads over to the door, opens it and grabs something from outside after placing the bag of our discarded clothing in the hall. He walks back towards the couch whilst pulling a pure white robe on and tying it around the front. The towel drops to the floor, I can’t see anything because of the robe but my heart lurches again at the thought of his nudity.

  To make my sleeping state more believable I snuggle further into the bed and tighten my legs around the pillow between them. He seems to freeze and look over at me, I close my eyes completely as being a creeper is making me feel like a… well a creep.

  I finally begin to doze not long after he turns the TV on low and pours himself a drink from the mini fridge. Of course he did all of this after putting on his gloves and rinsing the glass out about six times.

  He should really see somebody about his germ issue.

  We arrive at his office at no later than seven fifteen which annoys me because I was hoping to sleep in until at least nine. Plus the way he woke me up wasn’t exactly nice.

  He stood over the bed and shouted, “GWEN!” Louder than was necessary. I almost peed myself during my incessant flailing that tangled me in the bedding. He thought it was hilarious. It’s nice to see him laugh though. His laugh is wonderful, it’s contagious and I found myself wanting to laugh with him.

  “Why can’t you do this at home?” I ask, my chin resting on my hands as I sleepily watch him work on the computer in his dad’s office.

  “Because I can only access certain files from my home computer and these need to be done today.”

  “Do you want a drink?” I ask, eager to change the subject from files just in case he decides to give me a lesson in exports, imports and stocks.

  “I’ll ask Sammy.”

  “It’s Sophie,” I correct and shake my head. “She has a crush on you.”

  His cheeks seem to pink slightly, “Huh. I didn’t notice.”

  “Yep,” I spin in my seat, stopping as I face him. “She was devastated when you forgot her name yesterday.”

  “Huh,” he murmurs and places his leather clad hand on the phone.

  “I want to make the drinks, I’m bored.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t,” he frowns and glances down at my stomach.

  Well that makes no sense, “I’m pregnant not an invalid, besides, I cook for you at home all of the time.”

  “Do as you wish,” he waves his hand in the air. “I’ll take a coffee bla…”

  “Black one sugar, got it. I’ll even rinse the cup out six times just for you,” I remark and waddle towards the door.

  “You have a mean streak, joking about a real condition,” he teases and flexes his hands seemingly without realising.

  I place my hand on the door and I’m just about to pull it open when it’s pushed wide open. My body lurches backwards as it connects with my arm. Ouch. Before I lose my balance entirely I manage to right myself and Nathan rushes to my side.

  “Are you alright?” He asks, scanning me from head to toe with worried eyes. After I nod he turns to the intruder, I see his body visibly tense and peek around him to see who it is. It’s his dad, and his mum.

  Both Nathan and Caleb share their mother’s eyes but everything else belongs to their father. It’s strange to look at. He’s one of those people that age well. Like George Clooney or Richard Gere. Still handsome after they passed their prime.

  I gulp when his mother’s cold eyes narrow on me. Nathan closes the door, his eyes still on his father who’s staring at me with shock and disgust. “Explain.” He barks at Nathan who just stands silently; his jaw tense, his eyes slightly wide.

  “Why is she here?” His mother hisses, forcing me to wince at the bitterness to her tone.

  “She’s my guest,” Nathan responds, his tongue marking his lower lip.

  “Your guest?” His mother shrieks and looks back at me. “How can you even think of having that… that… slut, as your guest?”

  My mouth drops open and Nathan’s body tenses further, I remain behind him, my heart racing with fear. “She’s carrying Caleb’s child,” Nathan says and shifts on the spot.

  “So she says,” his father adds and my temper rises. How dare he?

  “Why are you still standing there?” His mother shouts at me, my hands instantly go to my stomach. How do I react to this? “Leave!”

  Nathan steps to the right, blocking them from view, “She’ll stay as long as she desires. She’s my guest.”

  “She’s nothing but a whore,” his mother adds, trying to lean around Nathan so she can see me and spit her venomous words at my face.

  “Mother,” Mother? Why not mum? “Watch your language.”

  “You’ll get rid of her,” his father snaps and walks towards us. “Send her back. That’s an order.” Well I see where Nathan gets his controlling tendencies from. Now I’m really freaking out. Get rid of me? Where will I go?

  “She’s carrying your grandchild,” Nathan bites out, his body turning so his hand can wrap around my bicep and bring me closer. I’m grateful for the support.

  “That’s no grandchild of mine,” his mother sneers, her eyes now on me. Damn it if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be cussing at her right now. How dare she? “Don’t you care that she ripped our Caleb from us?”

  “He’s doing this to spite us,” his father laughs but there’s no humour to it. “Forever the disappointment.”

  “What?” I gasp and look up at Nathan. He glances at me out of the corner of his eyes, warning me to be quiet. I won’t. “How can you say that?”

  “Listen to her, she sounds so… common,” his mother spits, her mouth curling in disgust. “You make me want to spit.” Oooh, big words…

  “What did I do to you?” I try to take a step forward but Nathan holds me in place.

  “You took him from me!” His mother shouts, her distress evident in the tears pooling in her eyes. For some r
eason my heart goes out to her, a mother has lost her child and she needs someone to blame. That doesn’t make this right though. “His last moments were with you. Not with us.”

  “See what this is doing to your mother?” His father shouts at Nathan whose entire body is rigid. “Look at her!”

  “Come on,” Nathan says to me and begins to lead me to the door. “Those files still need printing and faxing. I’ve done the majority.”

  “You can return once she’s gone,” his father snarls, and swings open the door. “If she’s not gone by the end of the week, you won’t have a job here boy. Make the right choice, your family or your brother’s whore.”

  Nathan pulls me out as I give a long and lingering look of hatred towards his father. As soon as we enter the elevator after avoiding Sophie’s eyes, my heart breaks. I’m going to lose Nathan and his home. It shouldn’t be so devastating, but it is. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to do this alone.

  “Nathan,” I say softly, my legs barely keeping up with his long strides towards his car. We climb in and buckle up before hightailing it out of there. Just like the elevator ride, the car journey back towards the hotel is silent.

  “Stay here,” he snaps, his tone angry and clipped. I do as I’m told and wait in the car as he rushes into the hotel. He doesn’t take long, only fifteen minutes before he’s climbing back into the driver’s seat.

  We race along the streets, breaking more traffic laws than I’d care to admit. He pulls up outside of a bank and orders me to wait here again.

  This time I’m waiting for an hour, my mind working overtime, my hands still trembling from the adrenaline that was released during the heated argument. What am I going to do?

  Nathan storms out of the bank and stands beside the car for a moment. I watch him pace a few times, his gloved fingers ripping through his hair before he finally climbs into the driver’s seat.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned for my friend.

  He chews on his lower lip for a moment before swearing a few times and hitting the steering wheel with the side of his fist. This brings back memories of Caleb, the time he gave me an orgasm in his car after we lost a tire.

  “Hey,” I coo and place my hand on his wrist, careful to not touch his skin. “What is it?”

  “He’s cut me off.” He snarls and I blink in shock.

  “How can he cut you off? You work there, surely you get your own paycheque.”

  “I do but it’s all in stocks and shares,” I shudder at the thought. “I’ve been living off my trust, hoping to gain enough revenue to… Damn it!”

  I rub his wrist with my thumb, wanting to stroke his hair or hug him to make him feel better, “You’ll be okay. You’ll figure it out.”

  “I know, I have money, it’s just the principal,” he snaps like I should know this. “I’m sick to death of… of…”

  “Being controlled?”

  He glares at me, “Mind your own business.”

  I shrink back at the tone of his voice, I’ve never heard it so venomous. For a moment there I could see his mum in him and it’s not an attractive thing to behold.

  “I should have just set you up in an apartment, but no. I had to take you home,” He rants, mostly to himself. “I had to get involved. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whimper, wishing he’d just shut up now. “I didn’t ask you…”

  “Honestly? You didn’t ask? Didn’t you call my parents begging for help?”

  “I was…”

  “Desperate, I know,” he shouts, pulling the car out into the road. My eyes burn, I don’t deserve this. “I was there when you called.”

  Then he’s a bloody good liar because I specifically remember his shock when I told him about that call.

  “I never should have gone to you. You’ve ruined everything,” he hits the steering wheel again, causing the horn to go off.

  I don’t say anything, I want to get out of the car but I doubt he’ll stop and even if he does… where will I go? I don’t have any money, I don’t even have my phone with me.

  “This isn’t my problem, that kid isn’t my problem,” he continues. I try to mentally shut him out but the sadist in me keeps listening, absorbing and storing his words so I can use them against myself at a later date. “Why’d he pick you? Out of every single female that was available to him, he chose you. Why? He could have picked a female who had her own money, someone who could provide for herself in this situation.” It’s not like Caleb knew he’d be abandoning me. “Why did it have to be you?”

  I asked myself the same thing on a daily basis. Trust me. I don’t get it either.

  “Sure you’re good company but you’re nothing special.” He grits out and my heart breaks further. “Nothing special.”

  “You can stop now,” I sniff and wipe my eyes with the inside of my sleeve. “You’ve said enough.”

  His breath seems to catch in his throat but he says nothing else. I don’t want him to say anything. I just want to leave.

  I’ve had enough now.

  I don’t deserve this.

  We drive home in silence, the tension as thick as syrup lingers in the air leaving a bad taste in my mouth and the urge to vomit is prominent. As soon as we pull over outside of the house I climb from the car and walk towards the door. Nathan swiftly follows and unlocks it.

  “Gwen,” he says, his tone a lot softer than it was. I ignore him and immediately ascend the stairs, he follows, hot on my heels. “Gwen.” His tone is more urgent this time.

  Stomping into my bedroom I slam the door behind me, but it doesn’t slam as he catches it with one hand.

  “Gwen,” his voice is quiet, softer than I’ve ever heard it.

  Grabbing my suitcase, I throw it on the bed and begin throwing clothes out of my closet.

  “Gwen,” he repeats, ducking as a shoe flies by his head.

  When he sees I have no more shoes to throw out of the closet he steps towards me, his hand grabbing my wrist. I don’t look up at him, I stare straight ahead at the row of clothes, ironed and hung up on the single rail.

  “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you,” he steps even closer, his chest now only two inches from my arm. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

  “Forgive you?” I laugh once and angrily wipe the tears from my eyes. “What’s to forgive?”

  “Gwen,” he turns me to face him.

  “I envy you,” I whisper, staring at his tie as my lip trembles and my body is overcome with grief. “I envy your inability to feel a thing. I envy how cold you are. I envy how mean and unfeeling you are.”

  “I didn’t mean it, I was angry,” his free hand reaches up to cup my cheek, I look him dead in the eyes and see the remorse there. “I’m not a nice person when I’m angry. You were close by and… I took it out on you.”

  “Let go of me,” I tug myself free and continue gathering my things. My shoulder hits his chest as I shove past, my arms filled with clothes.

  As I bend over my suitcase he waits by the door, his tongue once again teasing his lower lip. “I don’t have to help you, Gwen. But I am. I’m here, you have somewhere to live, and you have everything you need. I promised you I’d provide for you and that’s what I’m doing.”

  “You don’t want me here. I’m here because of the guilt you feel.”

  “Guilt over what?” He scoffs, spinning me around again. I’m sick of being spun.

  “I don’t know!” I shout, looking into his broken eyes and feeling my heart stammer. “I don’t know what guilt you feel. What other reason am I here?” He doesn’t respond but I see a shadow of emotion flicker in his eyes. Almost like he has an answer to that question but refuses to say it. Chris, I don’t even care right now. “Let me go.”

  “And where will you go? What will you do?”

  “I don’t care.”

  “You’re not leaving, I’ve apologised, now put it behind you. It’s not worth it.”

  “Christ, you are such an…” Don
’t swear, don’t make him angrier than he already is. “I don’t know… I just… move out of my bloody way.”

  “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “I don’t want anything from you.”

  “Whether you want it or not,” he snaps, giving my arm a shake to bring my eyes to his. I almost cower at the anger and darkness swirling in his light brown irises. “You need it. If you leave, where are you going to go? You have nobody to turn to.”

  “I’ll figure it out,” I continue throwing things in my case. In a flash it’s gone from my bed and is hitting the wall with a loud thud. The contents spill out all over the ground.

  He did not just do that.

  Nathan stands to the side, his chest heaving, “You’re not leaving. Do you understand?”

  “You can’t hold me here.”

  “I will if I have to. I made a mistake, I got angry and I’ve apologised. I’ll say it a thousand times if I have to. I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry,” he glares down at me, his breath coming out in shallow pants. “I will lock you in this room, don’t test me.”

  My mouth drops open, I take a step back. He wouldn’t dare… he couldn’t. There’s no way he’d do that.

  “Shout at me, get angry with me, do something. Just don’t leave,” I’m startled by the desperation in his voice but it does nothing to deter me.

  “I would, but you’re not that special,” I hiss as venomously as he hissed it at me.

  “You’re right,” he says without blinking and comes closer. “I’m not. I don’t pretend to be. But you are,” his hand grips me by the back of my neck. “You are. Caleb didn’t deserve you Gwen. I’ll never deserve you.”

  What? What does that even mean?

  “Stay,” he dips his head to look me directly in the eye. His head now only an inch from mine. “I’m sorry. Believe me,” His hand wraps around mine and it’s soon pressed against his chest. I feel his rapid pulse beneath my fingers, mine speeds up with it, shocked at his… well… this entire situation. I know how difficult it must be for him to touch my hand and the fact he hasn’t yet pulled away seems to startle us both. “I’ve never been sorrier in my life.”