DILF DIARIES: Oh Baby

by St. Klaire, Stephanie

  “Whoa. You know new moms get tender from breastfeeding, right? You’re not—”

  He tossed his hands in the air. “Jesus, Juliet, no, I’m not trying to breastfeed. What kind of freak do you think I am? It’s from the baby carrier. It’s kind of tight, not made for…big guys. I’m chaffing!”

  “Oh, well, good. I mean, not good you’re chaffing, but good you’re not…well…anyway.”

  “I’ve been wearing that thing non-stop to keep her calm. It’s the only way to get anything done. I’m lucky to get a shower in, much less a workout, or any me time. My life has changed, Jules. Forever. I may never see the gym again.”

  “You might be right.” She held up the envelope. “This came. I signed for it because the mailman said you hadn’t been home to for a few days.”

  She handed him the envelope, and he froze. “This. It’s the—”

  “I would assume so,” she replied, so he wouldn’t have to say it. “Do you want me to go so you can…?”

  “NO! I mean, I don’t think I want to be alone. I mean, what could it possibly say, right? She’s got to be mine. The—”

  “Dimple,” Jules finished for him with a smile. “Either way, this changes everything, and it’ll be okay — no matter the outcome.”

  “Sure. Yeah. I mean, even if she isn’t, things just go back to…” his voice dropped to a near whisper, “the way they were.”

  “Yeah, late night barbeques that keep the neighborhood up. Sleezy women in your hot tub,” she teased, lightening the mood before it potentially got dark.

  “Yeah, I get it. And for the record, those were not my sleezy women. They came with other people. I don’t even know them.”

  Interesting, Jules thought. Not his women. “Give me Ramsey. Let’s go sit outside. Want another beer?”

  “Yeah, sure. I’ll be right out. Beer’s in the fridge.”

  With the baby on her hip, Jules hollered from the hallway, “I know. Something tells me there is never a shortage of that around here.”

  “Good call,” he said.

  Jules grabbed two beers and set them outside before she buckled Ramsey into the bouncy seat. Must be their favorite hangout. As she looked around, she saw a basket of toys, random baby gear, and of course, hand sanitizer nearby. Jack was clearly a hot mess at the moment, trying to wrap his mind around being a maybe dad, but it appeared he was pretty good at it.

  Ramsey was happy, and already bigger than when she’d first arrived. His house and surroundings were less bachelor pad and more baby pad. Ramsey was taking over, and it seemed Jack was the redecorator. Sure, he had help those first few days, but Jules hadn’t seen anyone from Felix’s family around since their initial takeover.

  Her mind then drifted places where images of Jack played like an R-rated highlight reel and made her wish it was X-rated. Strange dream aside, she had plenty of real life exposure to recall. Low slung towels, tight fitting boxer briefs, even the tender nipples of his Adonis-like chest had her crossing her legs tight and rocking in her chair to relieve the ache he caused. Why did he do this to her?

  Jack came outside to join them on the patio wearing board shorts that hugged his ass and an almost too tight white V-neck that didn’t help her indecent throbbing. She just knew he sensed her discomfort when he winked at her with a sultry grin. How could he know? Was it really that obvious? Some things were clear: she needed to keep her distance and spend less time with Jack Decker, or else she would end up being his next conquest and another notch in his headboard. And for reasons unknown, the idea of being a notch thrilled her even more. That couldn’t happen, and she needed to get Jack and his headboard out of her head.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Great. Fantastic. Why do…uh, you ask?” Jules leaned to one side of the cedar Adirondack chair she occupied, resting her head on her propped hand.

  “You look a little, I don’t know…funny. Your cheeks are all red and you have…” Jack leaned in and squinted his eyes to get a better look, “teeth marks under your lower lip.”

  Jules covered her mouth in surprise. Had she really been biting her lip? “Oh…uh, I was just making faces at Ramsey.”

  “Mmmkay,” he said with a furrowed brow, not convinced by her answer, given her odd behavior. He looked at Ramsey and winked. The little girl then kicked her happy feet in response. Jack pulled her bouncer in front of him, right between his bare feet, and said, “Let’s see what’s in the envelope, kid.”

  He stalled briefly, with a weak smile and mile-away stare locked on Ramsey before moving on to the envelope. That envelope would change everything — no matter what it said. After reading the documents inside, front and back, twice, he smiled, handed the paper to Jules, then proceeded to unbuckle Ramsey from her bouncy seat and pull her into his arms.

  He kissed her forehead sweetly and held her, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh that sounded as if it had been begging for release. Jules felt the threat of looming tears stinging the backs of her eyes. His reaction was touching, and hot — if the test went the way she thought it would. But it could mean the test went either way. He was relieved, that was for sure. But was he relieved and celebrating or grieving?

  Jules turned her attention and only had to read the first few lines to get her answer. A smile stretched across her face and the tears broke free. “Oh, Jack. Congratulations! It’s a girl!”

  “Let’s celebrate,” he said. “Go lock up your place and meet us out front.”

  Jack loaded up the truck with blankets and Ramsey’s bag of baby goods. It seemed he had her bag and on the go necessities down to a science. He knew what he was doing. Impressive.

  They made a quick stop at Rosie’s restaurant to pick up an order he’d called in while Jules was next door at her house, getting her things. Jack was happy, and Jules was happy for him.

  It was a sweet picnic by the river he planned. Jack put together the perfect outing.

  “I’ve never been on a taco picnic,” Jules laughed.

  “You can never go wrong with Rosie’s tacos.” He winked. “I thought the river would be nice. Ramsey loves tummy time on the blanket and being outside. She also likes to people watch, so…the park, by the river, with tacos.”

  Jules loved that he was learning Ramsey’s likes and dislikes and wanted some tummy time of her own with Jack. There was a time where Jules couldn’t stand the sound of Jack’s name, much less the sight of him. Now, he was all she thought about — even when she was with another man. It was the baby. It had to be the baby that made him so…delicious. There was just something to be said about a man — especially a really hot man — who traded in his macho for a rattle. Sexy.

  They sat and talked for hours, while Ramsey napped, until the sun went down. Then the three of them laid on the blanket, watching the stars, Ramsey between them, until it was time to go home. It was the most time they’d spent together not fighting, not poking fun, and just really enjoying each other for the first time.

  Underneath all the layers of bullshit, they were both fun and easy to be around. It wasn’t the buffer — Ramsey — between them either. They just genuinely liked each other. It seemed Jack wasn’t the cocky playboy Jules thought he was. And Jules didn’t really have much of a stick up her ass after all.

  When the night grew too late and the crowd at the river turned from families to late night summer partiers, they cleaned up to head for home.

  “So, I guess I should start looking for daycare,” Jack said. “I mean, since it’s official. Rosie said she’d help me find the right place when the time came.”

  “Something tells me Rosie is going to thoroughly vet the hell out of any prospective providers.” Jules laughed.

  “Yeah,” Jack agreed. “She said the ones who make the cut will get a drop in from Felix — in uniform. But that’s only after he does his own background check.”

  She laughed at the idea. “There may be a daycare shortage in the area soon if Felix and Rosie are on the case.”


  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Jack added. “Rosie said we could work something out and everyone take turns — that’s what they all do for each other.”

  “But you don’t want to do that.” Jules was starting to see a different side to Jack. One that was fiercely independent, and not because he chose to be. He liked to stand on his own two feet and make life happen.

  “Nah. I appreciate the offer, and trust them with everything I am, but…Ramsey and I need to make it on our own, ya know?” Stopping at a red light, he turned in Jules’ direction to read her expression. “Besides, that’s family, and I don’t want to mix the two. Family is family, daycare is daycare. They’re all we have. And they’re busy with their own families. Felix’s sister, Dulce, is about to have her first baby, and there’s the restaurant — they’re busy. I don’t want us to be a burden.” He shrugged before proceeding through the intersection.

  Jules admired that. He didn’t want to take advantage because they were family and always wanted them to be. He was right, she supposed. Going there every so many days for long periods while her dad went to work would feel like an obligation, a daycare, not a fun visit. He’d really thought that through. But…she wasn’t family.

  “What if…” Jules worried she would kick herself for this, but spoke before completely thinking it through. “What if I helped watch her? At least for a while?”

  “You?” His surprise was obvious. “I could never ask you to do that.”

  “Uh, I am sort of qualified and trustworthy. I’m a nurse, after all. Plus, she already knows me and I’m just next door. I can even watch her at your place.” Oh, why did she say his place? That was ground zero and where she was her weakest. On his turf. Where his bed was. Where he got naked for all that required him to be…well, naked. “You’re not asking, I’m offering,” she corrected him.

  “My place? Why do I feel like you just want to go through my underwear drawer while watching the porn channel?” He grinned and snorted. “Jules, I really appreciate it, but it’s too much to ask. For the same reason I couldn’t ask the Munoz family.” He really wanted to say yes, but…

  Jules choked on the water she was drinking, surprised he’d said the p word. How the hell had he known where her head was? Maybe this was a trick. Play it cool, deny everything. “I am not the fatal attraction type, first of all, and porn actually makes me giggle, not…hot. Look, I’m just the neighbor, Jack. I’m not her aunt or grandma figure.”

  “You giggle during porn?” He laughed.

  “Yes, if you must know, I giggle during porn. It’s so ridiculous.” She buried her face in her hands for a minute, then it hit her. She needed to know. “Wait — you have the porn channel?”

  Jack laughed. “No, I don’t. I don’t even know if there is such a thing. I was just giving you shit.”

  “Language,” she corrected with a laugh.

  “I mean…I’m giving you a hard time. Very revealing, though.” Jack laughed again when she socked him in the arm.

  “Seriously, though. I wouldn’t mind helping, Jack. I’m not family, but she knows me and trusts me.”

  “True, but—”

  “But nothing. It makes sense. We work opposite shifts too, so it really works. She wouldn’t have to change her routine all the time around everyone else. It’s easy. It’s consistent. And you don’t have to worry about whether she’s being taken care of like you would with strangers.”

  “Why? Don’t get me wrong, your offer is very generous, but I don’t understand…why?”

  “Because I want to help you. I want you and Ramsey to succeed. You’re just getting used to being a dad and learning to be a team. This way, you guys can continue that.” Jules smiled at her spontaneous idea, but the more she said, the more she wanted to do this. “When you guys are more settled and she’s a bit bigger, then you can revisit the issue.” She forgot the part about wanting to help him because she was starting to develop a crush on Jack “The Pecker” Decker — who was just Jack to her now.

  “I don’t know, Jules. I don’t want to be a burden to you either.”

  Jules looked over her shoulder toward the baby. “Ramsey could never be a burden.” She wanted to say, and neither are you, but her guard was still up. One night of tacos under the stars on a soft blanket didn’t change everything, but it changed enough. He deserved a chance, because he didn’t seem to be the guy she’d always assumed he was.

  It was time to seal the deal. “I even have some flex time to use or I lose it, and I could use a break. For Ramsey.”

  “I may just take you up on that. I mean, until we can — I can — find a more permanent solution.” There was so much more he wanted to say, but progress was progress, and he wasn’t going to tarnish what little they’d made. For now.

  “Okay. Sounds like a plan, Jules.”

  It seemed his baby blues had passed…

  CHAPTER 8

  Falling into routine was easy for Jack and Jules, making their plan almost too good to be true. Jules’ schedule had changed to an early shift, getting off in the afternoon, every other day, where Jack started in the afternoon and worked a full twenty-four hours at a time. Somehow, their schedules fell into place perfectly, like it was meant to be — like fairytales and shit.

  Jack took out a section of the fence between their two houses and installed a gate, saying it was more convenient. Truth be told, Jules started leaving stuff at Jack’s since she was spending more nights there than at her own house. She didn’t need the gate.

  Long spells without Jack were hard on Ramsey. She was becoming attached as their bond grew tighter, and she was the epitome of the term daddy’s girl. Jules was becoming attached too, whether she admitted it or not, and Jack was just fine with that. Jules and Ramsey became regulars down at the firehouse when Jack was on shift, sometimes bringing dinner, sometimes just dessert for everyone, and sometimes just to sit around and shoot the shit until Jack’s crew was called out. There was a sense of family at the firehouse, and it was evident it meant everything to Jack when everyone there was referred to as aunt or uncle where Ramsey was concerned. Jules was even becoming one of them, which pleased Jack.

  The day finally came where their perfect schedule fell apart, briefly. Jules was running late, had to cover for a no-show, and the ER was hot with overflowing patients. She called ahead and told Jack she was running behind and needed to wait until they had coverage before she could leave. Without an option, really, he took Ramsey to work with him. It was closer to the hospital anyway, and just as easy for Jules to meet them there. What were the odds something would happen in the short time Ramsey would be there without her?

  When not on a call, the crew on duty at the firehouse had chores — maintenance type things — to take care of. For instance, Jack wore Ramsey in the baby carrier as he washed the fire truck. The baby had on a floppy hat and baby sunglasses that had the women at the park lined up like vultures missing only their popcorn as they watched the show. Some firehouses had the stereotypical, cute black and white dalmatian, but this station had its own baby.

  There was a time when that would have flattered Jack, but now, it just earned an eyeroll. Which was odd. Did having a baby mean he didn’t care about the opposite sex anymore — or sex itself? His mind shifted to Jules, and the ache in his groin that left his pants tight let him know he did indeed still have it — it was just for Jules only, it seemed.

  Ramsey squealed, and he was quickly reminded just how awkward it was to be sporting a full-on hard-on while holding a baby. He loved his daughter, but she was quite the cold shower, and he hoped her timing would always be kind.

  The alarm sounded throughout the building, and a voice started dictating orders and assigning a crew. His truck was being called out, because of course it was. Jules wasn’t there, and though he got away with a baby playing the firehouse mascot, he wouldn’t get away with taking her on a call — not that he’d want to. It was too dangerous, of course.

  Before Jack could think one way or
another, a tap on the shoulder had his attention. “Give me the runt and get geared up before your engine leaves without you.”

  “Are you sure, Marty?” he asked, shocked.

  “No, I’m just kidding. Take the baby with you,” Marty chided. “Of course I’m sure. Now, hurry up. It’s a hot call. Go be a hero.”

  “If it’s the Craven widow again…” Jack started as he headed for his waiting turnout gear.

  Marty followed him, finishing his sentence. “If it’s the Craven widow, I’ll be saving this one’s diapers to set on fire — on her porch.”

  Jack tossed his head back in laughter. He didn’t doubt Marty one bit. If this call was exactly that, he’d be called to her house again shortly to put out a flaming diaper. He quickly dropped a kiss on both Ramsey and Marty’s foreheads before jumping on his truck to be a hero.

  Jules arrived at the firehouse an hour later, but Jack wasn’t back yet. She knew his job was dangerous, since she usually got the patients he and his guys rescued in her ER, but something about going to the station and him not being there left her unsettled this time.

  “He’s fine,” Marty said, pulling her from her thoughts.

  Caught off guard, Jules replied, “What? Who’s fine?”

  “He’s fine,” Marty fired back, shooting Jules a knowing look over the rim of her nose-perched glasses. “He’s a little shit, but he’s good at what he does.”

  “Oh, you mean Jack.” Jules smiled, playing it off. “I’m sure he is. I was just…uh, waiting so I could…apologize.”

  With an unimpressed grin, Marty challenged Jules’ bullshit story by sliding a piece of paper and pen her way. “Leave him a note then.”

  “Oh, I guess I could, but…”

  Marty smiled and nodded. “But you want to see that he gets back okay.”

  Jules shook her head vigorously. “No — I mean yes, but…”

  Now, for the famous, dramatic Marty eyeroll. “If you think you’re fooling anyone but Jack, you’re a fool.”