Ultimate Mid-life Crisis

by Adam Graham

  Naomi pulled one out of her utility pouch and handed it to him.

  “Thanks.” Fournier clipped it on his body suit.

  Justice Woman pressed the blue start button.

  A bubble appeared around her and Varlock’s desk. She zoomed upwards into a stream of beautiful life, gold and green, and red all mixed together. Cones and cubes swirled around her. The desk narrowed and zapped through a single point of light.

  The light show dropped her off in orbit over a planet.

  She took a breath. The only thing between her and the void of space was an invisible force field built into Varlock’s desk. The planet looked like Earth’s twin except the land mass was all one big continent.

  She zoomed down towards the atmosphere at top speed. She screamed.

  This was worse than those roller coasters Dave had her go on before the kids came. Much worse.

  She zipped through an atmosphere. Ruined cities, mountains and forest, zipped by all in a single moment. The desk ship slowed and came to a rest in a clearing in a forest.

  Justice Woman took several deep breaths before reaching into the desk and pressing the button that deactivated the force field.

  She got out. “Desk, I’m not getting stranded here. Shrink down and jump in my pouch.”

  It obeyed, and she ran towards the cave entrance.

  The Overseer walked beside one of King Bel’s immortal lieutenants. Ram had their people’s disgusting extra eye removed.

  Ram said, “Command options 736, 494, and 573. That should ensure the Earthman is appropriately prepared. King Bel will give the signal.”

  “Yes, my lord.” Powerhouse’s Overseer nodded.

  Ram slapped him. “You’ve failed. Consider yourself fortunate King Bel doesn’t wish to waste time reprogramming Powerhouse’s collar to another overseer’s frequency.”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  “Now see to your crew.”

  Overseer marched through the pits lined with idle mine workers. All of them were to see the execution of Powerhouse for treason against the king.

  The strange feeling in his stomach wouldn’t go away. Overseer pushed forward to the rock pile and grabbed a pile of stones.

  He carried the small stones to the men. “Throw these at the traitor when he comes by.”

  One of Powerhouse’s visitors sneered. “I won’t.”

  “You will or you will be punished severely.”

  The crowd of miners jeered from the other side of the arena.

  Overseer said, “He’s headed our way!”

  Powerhouse walked through the center of the arena accompanied by tongue-walkers.

  Everyone around them threw rocks.

  Powerhouse looked up at his team and waved. “Hey, guys!”

  Overseer said, “Now.”

  Everyone threw, including the obstinate visitor, but his pebble landed far short of Powerhouse. The other stones hit him and deflected off his armor.

  Overseer shocked Obstinate. “You threw short on purpose!”

  “You can’t prove it.”

  “You listened to too many of Powerhouse’s stories. I need no evidence. I do as I please.”

  Obstinate spat. “He is a thousand times greater than you’ll ever be.”

  The one who’d hit Powerhouse hardest said, “You fool. Look at your hero. He’s a fraud. He said he’s mighty and powerful and defeated the most lethal foes, but right now he’s doing nothing to save himself.”

  Obstinate said, “The only reason he’d be doing this is to protect us.”

  Hard Hitter laughed. “That’s absurd. No one with all that power would sacrifice his life to save others. The Overseer told us so.”

  Overseer nodded. It was absurd, the great and mighty warrior sacrificing himself to save both Obstinate and Hard Hitter. It was impossible.

  It was also true. Overseer swallowed. “I must accompany the prisoner.”

  To his incomprehensible fate.

  Justice Woman crept along the caverns. Where were those mines? This was taking too long. These tunnels went on for miles. She couldn’t risk being spotted or causing a cave in.

  Footsteps echoed from a few hundred feet way.

  Justice Woman ducked behind a rock wall and peeked out.

  Towards her strode a guard wearing a black vest with red trim, a black octagonal helmet with a tinted face shield. He carried a rectangular rifle.

  She whispered, “Now to change my costume to match the guard.”

  Justice Woman’s costume transformed and she stepped out.

  The approaching man spoke in an alien language.

  Animals understood her. Surely they would. “I’m here to relieve you.”

  He raised his gun at her. “You’re not a guard. You speak the language of the mine workers. Yet you are female and there are no female mine workers, so that’s not possible. I shall take you to the supervisor.”

  “Too bad your gun is turning into silly putty.” Justice Woman lunged at the guard as he tried to fire the useless weapon. She punched him in the face and ripped off his helmet.

  A serpentine tongue shot out of his throat and wrapped around her neck.

  Justice Woman grabbed his throat. “One squeeze and you’re dead. Now let go of me!”

  The tongue retracted.

  Justice Woman put her hands on her hips. “Where is the human known as Powerhouse?”

  The guard laughed. “You’re too late. He is being executed for his crimes today, and you have no time to get to the main arena.”

  “You don’t know me.” She threw a candy at him. “You’re tied up and gagged.” Naomi raced up the underground tunnel at superspeed.

  Ahead of her, rock and dirt fell and the rocks blocked her path.

  She cursed and cringed. “Sorry, God. Cave-in, go away.”

  The cave cleared.

  She couldn’t go at top speed here or she’d cause more cave-ins and alert people to her presence. That was the last thing she and Powerhouse needed.

  Powerhouse trotted through the arena. Rocks pelted off his armor.

  He shook his head. The poor fools were being used by King Bel. They didn’t understand what was going on. “Lord, help them.”

  The rocks coming in his direction fell way short.

  He glanced around. He was past the seating area for the mine workers. Now he was at a long flight of steps.

  Overseer walked up to him. “Powerhouse, we shall ascend these steps to the judgment seat above the arena. Before we do, the overseer of Earth sent some items in case you were to be executed. Apparently, they are traditions of your people at the time of death. One we have refused. A blindfold is not permitted.” Overseer pulled a box from his pocket. “However, I may offer you a cigarette before you are executed.”

  Powerhouse shook his head. “Are you nuts? Those things will kill you.”

  Overseer put the box back in his pocket. “Then ascend the stairs to face judgment.” He pulled an alien gun from his belt. “You first.”

  Powerhouse began to trudge up the stairs.

  “Knowing your doom is certain, do you not feel the dread sense of fear?”

  Powerhouse stared at Overseer. Why did he ask? “I wish there were things I’d have said to my wife. I miss Seattle. I’m really not looking forward to whatever your evil supervillain master has planned. It’ll hurt.”

  Overseer snickered. “You forgot, after the pain, you will cease to exist.”

  Mustering a smile, Powerhouse reached the top of the landing. “No, I’ll be with God.”

  “You’re not afraid.”

  “No, I’m not. It’s weird. During this time, I’ve felt God with me more than in my whole life. I know he’ll be there. I can’t really put it all into words.”

  “It’s nonsense,” his overseer said, half-heartedly.

  “I wish I could show you.”

  “Why? I’m your executioner. That is my sworn duty. I’m your enemy.”

  “You’re a pawn. You’ve been brainwashed fr
om youth. You’re probably not old enough to start first grade. I’m sorry for the life you’ve had.”

  “I will triumph.” Overseer’s voice quaked. “I’m fit to survive and thrive.”

  Powerhouse stared the kid in the eyes. “Do you really believe that?”

  Electricity surged through Powerhouse’s body.

  He fell back to the landing.

  Above, a tongue-walker screamed, “Stop delaying the proceedings!”

  “Yes, Lord.” Overseer scowled at Powerhouse. “Up, and no stumbling.”

  “If you don’t shock me again, I won’t fall again.”

  “Get moving.” Overseer waved the space pistol.

  Powerhouse started up the steps again and reached the top. An X-shaped cross rose over on the left edge of the wall. Several tongue-walkers surrounded it, with alien pistols on their belt.

  In the center of the platform, a red Cyclops sat on a golden throne with engraved red eyed demons and monsters. He grinned at Powerhouse

  A chill seized Powerhouse. His stomach churned and his skin felt dirty. Whoa this was the same feeling he got when dealing with child molesters, only far worse. He was standing in the presence of pure evil.

  Red Cyclops said, “The prisoner shall approach the throne.”

  Overseer led Powerhouse to the throne and knelt. “Your Majesty.” He glanced at Powerhouse. “Kneel before King Bel.”

  Powerhouse locked his knees as he stood tall. “I don’t kneel before any king but God. My ancestors fought and died so my people wouldn’t have to. Didn’t it have something to do with tea, too? Maybe we’d wanted to drink coffee, which is why Seattle’s an American city.”

  A shock of electricity surged through Powerhouse.

  Overseer said, “You will kneel before King Bel!”

  Bel put up his hand and said in a soothing voice, “We’ll add impudence to his many crimes.” Bel’s voice echoed through the arena. “Powerhouse, you have come to subvert our kingdom, to undermine our way of life, and to weaken our resolve to destroy the tyrant above. Therefore, you shall die. But I shall offer you leniency. You have a choice of how you die.”

  Powerhouse smirked. “I’m guessing old age isn’t an option.”

  King Bel waved this away. “On one hand, we have our disintegration death. You will be tied to the X and the most intense pain you’ve ever felt will be inflicted on your body. We will fire disintegration beams at your body parts one by one. So you’ll see your feet, your legs, your hands, and then your arms disintegrate, followed by your ears, your left eye, your nose, your teeth, your lower extremities, and then your tongue. The process will take anywhere from twelve to thirty-six hours, depending on how much pleasure it gives me.”

  God, give me strength. Powerhouse swallowed.

  “The second option is a firing squad. My guards will tie you to the X and fire at you at a maximum strength. Our scientists estimate your death should take no more than two minutes.”

  Powerhouse grunted. “I bet there’s a catch to option two.”

  “You need to publicly confess that all your stories were false and declare the highest aim of life is to advance to the next evolutionary stage.”

  “Okay, I’d like to make a statement.” Just not the one you want.

  “I warn you, the consequences will be severe if you try to trick me.”

  “Just give me a mic.”

  Justice Woman raced through the underground tunnel.

  A saccharine voice said, “The prisoner will make a statement.”

  Dave’s Powerhouse voice boomed. “I’ve been asked to reveal the truth and clear up any confusion about the stories I told you. Some of them were fiction, but they contained true themes about righteousness, courage, honor, beauty, and love.”

  Her husband let out an earth-shattering scream. “There is wonder and justice out there, so much more than this stinking rock pile that King Bel has you enslaved at.”

  Another blood curdling scream burst from Dave.

  He gasped. “The Lord Jesus Christ lives! He wants to give you a name among the people he delivered from slavery. All you have to do is—”

  The transmission was cutoff.

  She had to hurry. Her poor honey was going to die.

  She had to go farther than running could get her. Maybe she’d try flying. It wasn’t usually as fast but under the circumstances.

  “Hover boots, on.” She turned horizontally. “Thrusters engaged.”

  She rocketed up towards the arena. “I’m coming Dave!”

  And God help anyone who stands in Super Soccer Mom’s way.

  Powerhouse gasped and looked up at Bel. His body tingled with pain, but the fearsome beast didn’t look so tough.

  Bel sneered. “You really think you’re a holy martyr? No, Dave Johnson. You’re a childish, fat, man-boy. That’s why your mother ran away and why your classmates avoided you. They knew you’re a loser, a failure. That’s all you’d be if you hadn’t lucked into discovering an alien. You broke your word and caused Jimmy Olsen’s death. You became a dark, evil figure known as the Emerald Avenger. You’re putting on an act.”

  Then again, Bel knew just how to verbally accost him.

  Bel’s onslaught continued. “You’re a glutton and a drunk. Your mind wanders off in church. You don’t pray enough unless you’re in a jam. I see who you really are. You talk of your God, but he will leave you like all the rest. He sees who you really are, just like the kids in high school and Naomi. Now relent, and at least earn yourself an easy death!”

  Powerhouse glared at his accuser. He’d never in his life had more than a beer or two in one night. “Who dares to bring charges against me when God has justified me? Nothing you do to me can separate me from the love of Christ. I don’t want to be tortured to death, but the Lord will still be holding me even when everything I have is gone.”

  Bel growled. “Take him away, Overseer.”

  Where had that answer come from? Powerhouse smiled. Thanks, God.

  His overseer led him to the X-shaped cross. “You can still run.”

  “Yeah and kill seven people in the process.”

  “They don’t care about you.”

  That was half true. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Overseer nodded. “Stand by the X and raise your hands diagonally.”

  Powerhouse stood before the X-shaped cross and spread his arms and legs. Metal fasteners held him in place. Bel’s armed guards stood at attention.

  Overseer stepped to a circular platform.

  King Bel said, “Overseer, begin putting his body into endless pain.”

  Overseer grimaced slightly. He reached for his pistol, adjusted a dial, and tilted his head from side to side.

  Bel seethed. “I said begin!”

  “Of course, your majesty.” Overseer took a deep breath and let it out. He stared straight at Powerhouse. “You will die.”

  Chapter 28

  Escape from Another Dimension

  Powerhouse tensed as metal clasps held him to an X-shaped cross.

  “You will die—but not this day.” His overseer spun and shot all six of the guards surrounding them. He pointed at Powerhouse’s collar. It unclasped and fell off. “It’s disarmed!”

  “Thanks!” Powerhouse ripped off the fetters.

  King Bel stood. “What is the meaning of this?”

  “My charge shall not die.” Powerhouse’s Overseer quaked. “He shall live and declare the great deeds of the Lord.”

  “Never!” King Bel snarled. “Share his fate.”

  A beam of energy slammed into the overseer and ripped open his chest.

  “Let that be a lesson to you all, my people!” King Bel laughed. “The fool assumed, because I choose not to partake in the rougher aspects of running this realm, that I cannot. Powerhouse may be strong, but his greatest power is absent. All who aid him will die with him.”

  “Think again, big, red, and ugly!” A female voice screeched.

  A caped, masked woman in black la
tched a whip onto the throne and slammed feet-first into Bel.

  Bel said, “I shall defeat you.”

  “I don’t think so.” She lifted her hand. “With a big eye like that, pepper spray’s gonna burn.”

  A red spray spurted out of her hand and into Bel’s eye.

  Screaming, he tumbled off his throne.

  Powerhouse said, “Who are you?”

  “Name’s Justice Woman. I heard you were looking for me.”

  “How did you get here?”

  More Tongue Walker guards set up their weapons across the chasm.

  “Later, big boy. We’ve got company.” Justice Woman tsked at the guards, shaking her head. “That’s not very smart. Right now, your king is indisposed.”

  She pulled an old west six-shooter out of her gun holster. “It’d take maybe one blast for me to splatter his brains across the caverns. So what do you say you just drop your weapons?”

  They stood still.

  “I’m giving you to the count of three. One, two . . .” Justice Woman tightened her grip on the six-shooter. “Two and a half . . .”

  The aliens threw their guns into the cavern.

  Powerhouse dashed to his overseer and knelt beside him. “We need to seal this wound.”

  “Here’s a bandage.” Justice Woman reached into a pouch on her belt and threw him a packet.

  His overseer shook his head. “Get out of here. By the time King Bel awakes, I’ll be dead. Don’t worry about the guards. They’ll awake in an hour.”

  “I’m not risking you winding up on my cross.” Powerhouse applied a bandage, put pressure on it, and scooped up the overseer.

  Justice Woman slapped his shoulder. “Let’s fly.”

  “My jetpack controls are disabled and I can’t use my superimagination.”

  “Fine.” Justice Woman picked him up and his own burden. She whirled to the guards. “We planted a bomb on the throne that’ll blow this place sky high if you follow us or if you touch King Bel within the next fifteen minutes.”

  Justice Woman rose up on hover boots and swept across the chasm to a tunnel. She set them down. “We’ve got about six miles to the surface.”