Highland Protector

by Hannah Howell

  “Nay. They sent ye here. This is where they wish ye to be. Dinnae forget what Tormand said. The soldiers arenae even hunting them much any longer. They willnae, either, unless the king sends someone to push them to it. That gives us time.”

  Ilsabeth wondered if he was aware that he was rubbing his cheek against her hair and caressing her arm with his hand. She was no longer on the verge of tears but decided to stay right where she was. Being held close to Simon not only made her blood run hot, it made her feel safe. She could sense the strength in him and it was as if it shielded her.

  A quick glance down was enough to tell her that he also desired her. It was heady knowledge but she was not sure how to act upon it. In the short time she had known him, she had learned that Simon was an intensely honorable man. Whatever else might hold him back from satisfying the desire he felt for her, the fact that she had been put under his protection would be a strong part of that. Ilsabeth did not know whether she could or even should try to surmount that particular wall.

  But how she wanted to, she thought, and sighed. The idea of giving her chastity over to a man she was not married to did not bother her. She was a Murray woman, after all, and when a Murray woman found the man she wanted, she gave him everything. What troubled her was how badly it would hurt her if all he felt for her was desire. If, when this all ended and she was free, he sent her home with no word of love or promise of a future, Ilsabeth feared she would know a pain that time would never heal. It would be a big risk to give him everything she had to give with nothing but the hope that he would return her feelings and Ilsabeth was not sure she was brave enough to do that.

  “Hey, lass, have ye gone to sleep?”

  The hint of amusement in his voice caused her to lift her head and smile at him. Ilsabeth saw the way his eyes abruptly darkened. Her body responded to that look with a heat that nearly made her gasp. Suddenly she understood why some of her married kinswomen would blush when their men looked at them. They were seeing that look in their men’s eyes.

  Simon softly cursed even as he pulled her face closer to his, unable to resist the urge to kiss her, to taste that lush mouth that tempted him every time he looked at it. When Ilsabeth smiled at him, her eyes all soft and warm, his will crumbled. All he could think of was how much he wanted her to keep looking at him like that. It was madness.

  She was his weakness, he thought with a touch of alarm. He had spent years hardening himself in heart, body, and mind, yet this small woman with big blue eyes easily cut through his armor with a smile. Simon knew he ought to run far and fast but then his lips touched hers, and all his fears were burned away by the heat that flooded his body.

  Ilsabeth wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. She parted her lips with no urging from him, eager to taste him. When she tentatively parried the strokes of his tongue with her own, he groaned and the sound made the fire inside her burn even hotter. She could stir his passion and, at the moment, that was enough.

  He pushed her down onto the settee and Ilsabeth welcomed the weight of his body as he covered her. She was surrounded by the heat and scent of him and it made her desire rise so quickly and fiercely that she had no thought but of him, of his taste, of his touch. She wanted his clothes gone; hers as well. She needed to feel his skin beneath her hands. When he began to kiss his way down her throat she realized he had tugged her gown down to free her breasts. Ilsabeth knew she was blushing but she did not stop him. Her breasts ached for his touch.

  When he kissed her there, she shivered, despite the fire the caress ignited inside her. A small part of her gasped in shock that she was allowing a man who was not her husband, not even her betrothed, to touch her and kiss her so intimately, but need smothered that spark of embarrassment. She threaded her fingers through his thick hair and held him close, silently urging him to continue, and reveled in the way his hands and mouth worked such magic upon her skin.

  A little voice in Simon’s mind whispered that he had gone too far, but the sight of Ilsabeth’s full breasts, her nipples taut and begging for his kiss, made it easy to ignore the warning. He filled his hand with the soft weight of one as he feasted on the other. The soft cries escaping her and the way her lithe body arched against his completely silenced that warning. The only thought remaining in his head was that he had to be inside her soon.

  “Mama?”

  At the sound of a child’s voice, Simon tensed so quickly it hurt. Elen was in the room. Simon stared down at the woman sprawled beneath him and slowly came to his senses. Her breasts were bare, the hard tips wet and glistening from his greedy attentions. He could even see a touch of redness from his emerging beard. His hand was under her skirts. Simon knew he had been within a heartbeat of taking her on the settee. He met her gaze and the warmth there, still visible despite her blushes, told him that she would have let him.

  Shielding her with his body as best he could, he eased up from her enough so that she could quickly fix her bodice. The moment she was decent again, he leapt off her as if she were on fire. There was no hiding the way his body still ached for her, but, fortunately, Elen was too young to recognize what ailed him.

  “Best ye see what the child needs,” he said, and strode out of the room certain he heard her whisper coward.

  She was probably right, he thought as he shut himself in his ledger room and poured himself some wine. The first drink went down fast and he poured another before he collapsed in his chair. Simon winced at the word coward but it suited him and that was humiliating. Ilsabeth was a tiny woman yet he kept running from her as if she were some demon out to steal his soul. Nay, he thought, he did not run from her, but from all she made him feel.

  He should leave, go to the tavern, and spend himself on a woman there, pounding into some strange wench until he was too weak to walk and Ilsabeth’s taste no longer lingered on his tongue. It was difficult to deny Ilsabeth’s allure because he had been months without a woman. His bout of celibacy had gone on for too long and that was why his control was so ragged and weak. A wild, exhausting night in the arms of some skilled whore was just what he needed.

  The moment the thought entered his head, he knew he would not do that. He did not want some tavern wench. Even if he could stir up enough interest to take one, the moment the raw need passed, he would be aching for Ilsabeth again. Simon knew he was trapped. He could not rut her out of his mind and he could not send her anywhere far away from him.

  “And I obviously cannae control myself if I get close to her,” he grumbled.

  He closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths to tamp down the fire still raging through his body. If he did not find the real traitors soon, he would have to explain to the Armstrongs and the Murrays why he had despoiled the woman they had entrusted to his care. That was not a confrontation he wanted to endure.

  Then again, he mused, he could always marry her. A heartbeat later, he cursed. A large part of him was delighted by the thought, easily imagining her tucked up in his bed every night, but another part cringed. Ilsabeth Murray Armstrong would not be the placid, undemanding wife he had often envisioned. She would expect him to give her some part of himself, might even demand love or something closely resembling it. From all he had heard, Murray women were notorious for that.

  “God give me strength,” he muttered, finishing off his second drink and contemplating a third. Getting roaring drunk was beginning to look like a good idea.

  Ilsabeth tucked Elen back in her bed. “There ye go, lass. Now go back to sleep like a good lass. Ye have Reid here, aye? He will keep ye safe.”

  “Aye,” the child said, and looked at her brother.

  “He big.”

  “He is. Big, and strong, and verra brave.”

  It took a little more convincing before Elen let her leave, the fears that had caused the child to come looking for her finally eased. Ilsabeth headed straight for her bedchamber, eager for some time alone with her thoughts. She doubted she would see Simon again for quite a while. It would no
t surprise her if he stayed away for days this time. The children would miss him and that would make her feel guilty for driving the man away and furious at him for running away.

  He did not need to run. She was shamefully willing to give him what he wanted. Unfortunately, his wanting seemed to flare and wane with an annoying regularity.

  “I wonder if the other women in my family had this much trouble with their men,” she wondered aloud as she began to shed her clothing.

  A glance at her breasts revealed a few reddish marks made by Simon’s beard-roughened skin. The sight made her shiver with a blaze of renewed desire. Ilsabeth knew she would never forget how it felt to have his mouth there. Even the roughness of his cheeks against her skin had felt good, although she suspected his freshly shaved face would feel just as delightful.

  “How odd. I have gone from wondering why people seemed so enamored of lovemaking to a complete wanton.”

  For a moment she wondered what her father would say if she reached out and took what she wanted from Simon yet returned home without the man as her husband. He would be angry but Ilsabeth doubted it would be because she had handed her virginity to a man who could not love her. No, her father would be angry because he would fear that her heart was broken. Ilsabeth suspected it would be, even though she was not ready to put the name of love to what she felt for Simon.

  Simon who was hiding in his little room, she thought crossly as she dressed for bed. She wondered what had happened to him to make him try to remain so cold and distant from everyone. Ilsabeth suspected he would not thank her if she pointed out to him that he failed in that. The way he treated his dog and that ugly cat, as well as how he treated the children, MacBean, and Old Bega, told her that he was no cold, heartless man. He just wanted to be and that was what she did not understand. Even his relentless search for the truth and for justice revealed the man beneath the shell. A man had to have a heart to be so determined that no innocent paid for the crime of another.

  She wished her mother or one of her married cousins was near. Ilsabeth wanted someone to talk to, someone who had suffered some of the same problems with her chosen man. Any advice would be welcome for she had little idea of what to do next.

  Ilsabeth softly cursed as she crawled into bed. She knew what she wanted to do, what she needed. The women in her family did not believe young maids should be kept utterly ignorant until the moment they found themselves in bed with a husband. When Simon had pushed her down on the settee, she had known exactly what would happen and had been eager for it. Her problem was trying to understand why he kept stopping and how she might get him to cease fleeing her arms. That required the wisdom of women who had dealt with men more intimately and longer than she had.

  “I am naught but a bairn when it comes to men,” she grumbled.

  Knowing there was no sense in losing sleep over the matter, she closed her eyes. Each time Simon drew near her, his passion ruled him a little longer than it had before. There was hope that she would soon learn the great mystery between men and women. Ilsabeth just hoped she did not have to wait too long. Her last clear thought was a mean one. She hoped Simon was as achingly unsatisfied as she was.

  Chapter 6

  Simon studied the small, stone cottage where Sir Donald Chisholm was hiding his newest mistress. The man was married with eight children. Simon had to wonder why Donald had any need for a mistress unless the man’s poor, beleaguered wife was so worn out she could not accommodate the man any longer. Not that he considered that a good excuse for adultery. It also disgusted Simon to think of the money the man spent on this fleshly indulgence, money that would be better spent on his wife and children.

  He rapped on the door. “Open in the king’s name!” he ordered, and nearly grinned at the image of the faithless Donald scrambling into his clothes as he tried to think of a reason why a king’s man was looking for him. Even the innocent felt a twinge of alarm when a king’s man came hunting for them.

  The disheveled, half-dressed man who appeared in the doorway a few minutes later was so plain, so intensely ordinary, Simon was surprised the man could breed a child as lovely as Elen. He almost felt sorry for the women in Donald’s life. Simon doubted the man made up for his lack of looks with skill in the bedchamber. A man who would toss away his own child and be unfaithful to a wife who gave him eight children would not be the sort who would care for his woman’s pleasure. He was probably one of those fools who believed a woman felt none or could be happy just because the man in her bed found his.

  “Shall we step inside, Sir Donald?” Simon asked, aware that the man recognized him by the way Donald grew a little pale. For once Simon felt no twinge of regret over that reaction to his presence.

  Donald stumbled back a few steps as he nodded, staring at Simon in fear and horror. His small eyes were so wide, Simon was sure they had to sting. He looked around the cottage as he walked inside. Sir Donald Chisholm obviously spent enough to keep his mistress comfortable but there was nothing lavish, unless one counted the wooden floors and the glass in the windows as extravagant. Simon idly wondered if the man’s wife was allowed such things or if Sir Donald spent most of his funds on this little cottage for he knew the man was not particularly rich.

  “How may I be of service, Sir Simon?” Donald asked as he shut the door and then slumped against it.

  Yet again, Simon did not find it irritating to be looked at as if he were the devil himself come to steal the man’s soul. He decided there was obviously some good use to be made of his reputation.

  “Do ye happen to ken a child named Reid Burns and another named Elen Burns?”

  “I am... I did...”

  “A simple aye or nay will be enough of an answer.”

  “Aye. Weel, nay. I mean I ken them but have naught to do with them.”

  “That was quite plain to see when I found them. The boy was naught but skin and bone. If he found any food after ye cast him and his sister into the street, he gave most of it to wee Elen. Both of them had not but rags to wear and nay even a thin blanket to sleep upon. And ye do ken who Elen is, dinnae ye? Your own wee daughter?”

  “Who says she is my daughter? I ne’er claimed the brat and her mother was no sainted virgin, now was she.” The courage Donald had gained from his sense of outrage faded rapidly beneath Simon’s cold stare. “For sweet Mary’s sake, they are but two wee bastards. How is their fate any of the king’s business?”

  “ ‘Tis nay the king’s business. ‘Tis mine. I have taken the two children into my home.”

  “Ah, weel, good. Aye, verra good of ye. They will work hard for ye and nay be much trouble at all.”

  The man deserved to be beaten into a stain upon the floor, Simon thought, but he slowly unclenched his fists. “Ye, sir, are a swine. Ye toss out two bairns ere their mother is cold in the ground, caring naught for their grief or innocence. Ye ken weel all the horror a child alone can face. And why do ye do so? To have room for the woman who will replace their mother in your adulterous bed.” Simon idly wondered if that sounded a little too pious and then decided he did not care. “Did ye e’en take the time to have the bed linen freshened ere ye put a new woman in the bed? Reid may nay be of your blood, and I can only think that a blessing for him, but ye became responsible for him when ye took his mother into your bed. And Elen is of your own blood thus ye are most certainly responsible for her and ye ken it.”

  “Do ye want me to take them back? Is that what this is about?”

  “Nay, I wouldnae put them in your care again. I ken that the moment I wasnae looking ye would just toss them back out again. Nay, what I want from ye is money, a nice sum that can be set aside as Elen’s dowry and more for Reid so that he has some choice as to what he will become when he is grown.”

  “That lad is no blood of mine! I shouldnae have to pay anything for his comfort. He is naught but his mother’s get and, e’en though she said she was a widow, he was probably just a bastard.”

  “When ye took his mother as your mistr
ess ye accepted responsibility for her child. She also bore ye a child who is Reid’s sister, and that, too, makes ye responsible.” When Donald began to stutter out another protest, Simon grasped the man by the shoulder hard enough to make the man gasp and go pale. “And I have decided that ye are responsible. Do ye wish to object to my decision in this?”

  Donald was as great a coward as Simon had thought he would be and quickly agreed to all Simon demanded of him. It disappointed Simon a little that he would have no opportunity to beat the money out of the man. Any man who could toss two small children out into the dangerous streets, one of them his own child, deserved to be soundly beaten, but Simon knew it was best if he restrained the urge. It would not do for him to get a reputation as a brute. People might be afraid of him but they did not yet fear him because he would cause them physical pain in any way and he preferred to keep that so. As Simon waited for the man to gather up what money he could, he decided he could not allow the man to get away with such callous treatment of children without suffering some retribution, however.

  The moment Donald handed him the money he had found, nervously swearing to get the rest as soon as he could, Simon punched him in the face. Donald stumbled back against the wall and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor. Holding his bleeding nose, Donald stared up at Simon in stunned fear.

  Simon crouched down to stare at the man, making no attempt to hide his anger and contempt. “Ye deserve to be beaten within an inch of your miserable life for what ye did to those children and the way ye dishonor your wife, but I have lost the taste for it. There is no satisfaction to be found in beating on a coward. And, heed me weel, dinnae try to cheat those bairns of the last of the money ye just promised to give them. If ye do, I will swallow my distaste for beating such a whining, wee bastard, and leave ye unable to breed any more bairns. I suspicion your wife would thank me for it, too.”