It's Only Love
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IT’S ONLY LOVE
A Green Mountain Romance
Ella wanted to kiss him—badly—but more than that she wanted to know his thoughts. “What’re you thinking right now?”
“About how much I want to kiss you. I’m asking myself if this is real, if I really get to kiss Ella Abbott any time I want to. I’m wondering how I got lucky enough to have someone like you care so much about someone like me.”
She curled her hands around his wrists and felt his pulse hammering under her fingers. “What does that mean? Someone like you? What’s wrong with you?”
“Everything,” Gavin said softly. “Every freaking thing is wrong with me, but for the first time in a long-ass time, I want to make what’s wrong about me right. For you.”
* * *
“Marie Force has become one of my favorite go-to authors and [the Green Mountain] series is one of my very favorites.”
—Fresh Fiction
“Marie truly just has a way of telling a story that draws you in, and never lets you go.”
—Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews
Berkley titles by Marie Force
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND
I SAW HER STANDING THERE
AND I LOVE HER
YOU’LL BE MINE
(A Green Mountain Novella)
IT’S ONLY LOVE
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
IT’S ONLY LOVE
A Berkley Book / published by arrangement with the author
Copyright © 2015 by HTJB, Inc.
Excerpt from You’ll Be Mine by Marie Force copyright © 2015 by HTJB, Inc.
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For more information, visit penguin.com.
eBook ISBN: 978-0-698-16405-5
PUBLISHING HISTORY
Berkley mass-market edition / November 2015
Cover photos: Image of couple © Asia Images Vetta / Getty.
Background: © Rostislav Glinsky / Shutterstock.
Cover design by George Long.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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CONTENTS
Berkley titles by Marie Force
Title Page
Copyright
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
EPILOGUE
Acknowledgments
Special Excerpt from You’ll Be Mine
CHAPTER 1
Grief is the price we pay for love.
—Queen Elizabeth II
Resigned to another Saturday night at home, Ella Abbott settled into her sofa with her two best friends—Ben and Jerry. She’d been spending a lot of nights with these guys lately, which she would regret the next time she stepped onto a scale. But who cared about scales or exercise or anything else for that matter when your heart was broken?
It was all she could do to get up, take a shower, dry her hair, eat something that tasted like nothing, go to work and barely function once she got there. She went through the motions day after day, one foot in front of the other with a stiff upper lip that quivered an awful lot when she was alone. No one needed to know that.
She dug her spoon into yet another new pint of Cherry Garcia, which was the only thing that made her feel better. So she overindulged. Whatever. She’d happily pay the piper as soon as she stopped feeling like utter crap.
In the last couple of weeks, she’d had no choice but to accept that nothing was ever going to come of her fierce love for Gavin Guthrie.
“And how’s that going for you?” she asked the ice cream. “Are we at the acceptance stage yet?” She took another bite and then one more. “Nope, still stuck firmly in denial.”
If only he hadn’t kissed her. If only she could take back that one perfect moment of utter bliss on the beach in Burlington during her sister Hannah’s wedding last summer. Not knowing what it was like to kiss him would make this whole acceptance thing a hell of a lot easier.
And it wasn’t just a kiss. That would be oversimplifying what’d happened between her and Gavin while everyone else was listening to Nolan serenade his bride. She’d dared to put her arms around Gavin, wanting only to offer comfort as his late brother’s widow got remarried. But then he’d kissed her—and not the way she’d dreamed for all the years she’d been thinking about him.
No, this kiss had been rough and untamed and powerful, the single most incendiary kiss she’d ever received from anyone.
Thinking about it now, she rubbed her finger absently back and forth over her lips, which had tingled for hours afterward. And during those hours she’d had to act like everything was fine, like her entire world hadn’t been redesigned in the course of five unforgettable minutes.
She’d relived it a thousand times since then. The way he’d swooped in like a man who’d been drowning until she came to rescue him. The way his tongue had swept into her mouth and his lips had pressed so tightly against hers they’d felt bruised later, not that she minded. Bruised lips had been a reminder, for days afterward, that it had really happened. It hadn’t been a figment of her overactive imagination.
Gavin Guthrie had really kissed her. And then he’d walked away like it hadn’t changed everything between them. He’d pulled away so abruptly he’d left her reeling. Worst of all, he’d actually apologized for kissing her. She shuddered, recalling what he’d said.
“Christ, Ella. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m so fucked up today. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
But that wasn’t all he’d said. No, he’d had to take her breath away with a sweet caress to her face and even sweeter words. “You’re beautiful, Ella. Inside and out. If I were going to let something like this happen with anyone, you’d be the first one I’d call. But I’ve got nothing to give you, and it wouldn’t be fair. It just wouldn’t be fair.”
Even though he’d walked away from her after that, his words and that kiss—that incredible, unforgettable kiss—had filled her with foolish, giddy hope, which had been snuffed during two less memorable encoun
ters with him since then. Both times, he’d reminded her once again that he had nothing to give her and refused to suck her into the disaster his life had become.
The first time she saw him after “The Kiss,” he’d told her he’d been spiraling since the wedding, locked in the kind of grief he’d experienced when his brother Caleb first died after stepping on a land mine in Iraq. As happy as he was for Hannah and Nolan, both of whom were close friends of Gavin’s, seeing his brother’s widow remarry had rekindled his grief. And knowing that, knowing he was alone and suffering so badly, was killing Ella one spoonful of Ben and Jerry’s at a time.
Her phone rang, which was a welcome interruption from the direction her thoughts were taking. He had already rebuffed her multiple times. She wouldn’t try to reason with him again, but damn, she wanted to. Good thing she’d turned to ice cream rather than booze. With some liquid courage in her belly, she’d probably get in her car and drive to his house to plead her case yet again.
She went to the kitchen to grab the phone. “Hello?” In the background she could hear loud music and louder voices. Suspecting a wrong number, she nearly hung up.
“Yeah, I got a guy here who has you in his phone as his ICE.”
“His what?”
“His ‘in case of emergency.’”
She immediately thought of her brother, Wade, who would list her ahead of any of their siblings, except he didn’t have a cell phone as far as she knew. “Who is it?”
He ignored her question and continued his tirade. “You’d better come and get him the hell outta here before I call the cops.”
With the phone tucked in the crook of her shoulder, she stashed the leftover ice cream in the freezer and went to find some shoes. “Where are you?”
“Red’s Bar out on 114. Come quick. I’m giving it half an hour, and I want him out of here. Guy’s nothing but trouble. I knew it the second he walked in here with a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas.”
“I’ll be right there. Don’t do anything until I get there.”
“Thirty minutes.” He hung up on her.
Ella was out the door a minute later and heading out of Butler shortly after that. As she navigated the one-lane covered bridge by her parents’ house on Hells Peak Road, it occurred to her that no one knew where she was or where she was going. Not that she felt the need to check in every time she left her house, but heading to a roadside bar late on a Saturday night—alone—was definitely out of character for her.
In the back of her mind was the nagging suspicion that it might be Gavin at the bar. But why would he have her listed as his ICE, a term that was completely new to her as someone who didn’t have a cell phone. What was the point? There was no reception whatsoever in their town, and almost everyone she knew lived in Butler. If no one could call her and she couldn’t call anyone, why get a cell phone? Where would Gavin have gotten her number and why would he list her, of all people, as his ICE?
She dismissed that idea almost as soon as she had it. His parents would be his points of contact anyway.
She refused to let her foolish hopeful heart lead her on a wild-goose chase through the dark Vermont night on a mission to rescue one of the men in her life. Maybe it was Lucas or Landon. Both of her younger brothers had been known to party and get into trouble on occasion. Not bad trouble, more the mischievous kind. Though they drove her crazy most of the time, both knew they could call her if they were ever truly in trouble.
As did Max, the youngest of the ten Abbotts. But with his girlfriend Chloe’s baby due at any minute, he was probably in Burlington with her, waiting for something to happen. And wouldn’t Chloe be his ICE?
Ella was still trying to figure out who would have listed her as his emergency contact when she pulled up to Red’s, which was, apparently, a biker bar. Row after row of neatly parked bikes lined the lot, their chrome fixtures illuminated by the lights.
“That’s a lot of bikers.” Ella swallowed hard at the thought of walking in there alone. She should’ve called Charley or Wade to come with her, except the pissed-off guy on the phone had given her thirty minutes to get there, which hadn’t been enough time to round up reinforcements.
“Get moving, chickenshit.” Ella took another minute to find the courage to walk into a bar where she wouldn’t know a soul except for the man who’d made her his emergency contact—without her knowledge. Whoever he was would get an earful about doing that without telling her.
The gravel parking lot crunched under her feet as she made her way to the front door. Inside, voices and music competed to create a deafening roar. How did anyone stand it in here for more than a few minutes? It was also dark. She could barely see a foot in front of her with all the lights focused on a band on a stage on the far side of the huge space.
“Help you, sugar?” a deep voice asked.
“I’m looking for the manager or the person who would’ve called about a patron who needs a ride home.” She ventured a glance up at him and then kept going until she finally found his eyes, gasping at his sheer size. The man was at least six foot six or seven, a wall of solid muscle. Ella wasn’t sure if she wanted to run from him or beg him to keep her safe in this unfamiliar place.
“Right this way.” He took her by the arm and led her through a mass of sweating, dancing bodies.
More than one hand copped a feel of her as they pushed through the crowd with Ella holding on to her escort for dear life. She swatted at the roving hands and stayed with the giant, who took her to an office in a deep, dark corner.
Ella was shown to a room where Gavin Guthrie was in the middle of a fierce argument with another man with bright red hair, presumably the Red in Red’s Bar.
“I didn’t do anything!” Gavin said, his voice slurring. “I had a few drinks! So what?”
“I know what you did to the bar down the road. You’re not welcome in my place.”
“I paid my cover like everyone else. You can’t just kick me out.” He took a lunging step toward the other man, staggering.
“Gavin,” Ella said.
Freezing in place, Gavin did a double take when he saw her standing next to the giant of a man who had stayed, probably to watch the show. “What’re you doing here?” he asked in a much softer tone than he’d used on the bar owner.
“They called me to come get you.”
“Why you?”
“My question exactly.”
“Will you get him out of here, please?” the frazzled bar owner said to Ella. “We don’t want any trouble.”
“Let’s go, Gavin.” Despite the fact he was obviously drunk, disheveled and disorderly, he was still gorgeous. And furious, too. With one last filthy look for Red, he crossed the room to where Ella stood next to the giant.
The giant looked down at Gavin and handed over his cell phone. “I realized who you are, and I just want to say, I’m sorry.”
The big man’s gently spoken words nearly reduced Ella to tears. She could only imagine what they did to Gavin.
The kind gesture seemed to defuse Gavin’s fury. He sagged, visibly, as if he’d been reminded of why he’d gotten drunk in the first place. “Thanks.” With his hand on Ella’s back, he opened the door and guided her through it. The giant came with them, helping them through the crowd to the main door.
Outside, Gavin headed for his truck.
Ella looked to the giant for help.
He went after Gavin, grabbing his shirt and spinning him around. “Dude, you’re in no condition to drive. Let your lady drive you home.”
“Leave me alone.” Gavin tried unsuccessfully to shake off the giant. “No one told you to call her.”
“If I had a girl like her at home, I wouldn’t be hanging out here.”
“She’s not my girl.”
Ella wanted to turn and walk away so she wouldn’t have to hear anything else that would further lacerate her alr
eady wounded heart. She wanted to leave him there to deal with whatever was going on by himself. But she couldn’t seem to get the message from her brain to her feet, so she stood riveted in place while the giant tried to talk some sense into Gavin.
“Just go with her and make this easy on everyone, will you?”
“What business is it of yours what I do?”
“Making sure everyone who leaves here does so safely is my business. If you don’t want me in your business, get in her car and go. Then we won’t have anything further to talk about.”
“Fine. I’m going.” Gavin stalked over to where Ella stood, arms crossed, watching him swerve as he crossed the parking lot. She pulled out her keys and pushed a button on the key fob to unlock her white Honda CR-V.
Gavin got into the passenger side and slammed the door.
“Thanks so much for your help,” Ella said to the giant.
“No problem. He’s a decent guy who’s heading down a bad road. I hope he can figure out his shit before trouble finds him.”
“I hope so, too.”
“You have a good night now.”
Ella got into her car and nearly dropped her keys in the dark, which was when she realized her hands were shaking.
“You don’t have to do this,” Gavin said. “I can call a cab.”
“I don’t mind.”
Ella started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for Butler. Gavin never said a word as they got closer to the town line, where she took a left toward his house, rather than a right toward hers in town.
The closer they got to his home on the grounds of the logging company he owned, the harder it became for Ella to refrain from asking him how she ended up in his phone as his ICE. She kept telling herself she was better off not knowing. What good would it do? He’d sent her away twice before, so what would make this time any different? Just give him a ride and leave it at that.
Except . . . How was she supposed to drop him off, go back to her life and forget about the fact that out of all the people he knew, she was the one he wanted called in an emergency? Why her? Did this count as an emergency? Ella knew herself, and she’d never get a minute’s peace if she didn’t ask him why.