It's Only Love

by Marie Force

  In the mudroom, Ella hung her coat and Gavin’s on the hook with her name on it. Will’s hook was to the left of hers and Charley’s to the right. The symbolic act of hanging Gavin’s coat on top of hers made Ella’s belly quiver with excitement and joy before she remembered that she was trying not to get ahead of herself. Whatever. What was that old saying about once the genie gets outside the bottle there’s no putting her back in? That about summed up her situation with Gavin. The genie was so far out of the bottle she’d never get back in at this rate.

  Smiling, she glanced at Gavin and reached for his hand to lead him into the kitchen, where her mom was standing watch over something on the stove, and her dad was standing watch over her mom, hands on her hips, head tilted forward, saying something in her ear that was making Molly giggle madly.

  I want that, Ella thought. To be married nearly forty years and still be giggling with the man I love. She cleared her throat. Loudly.

  Lincoln Abbott turned, his face lighting up with pleasure at the sight of her and then zeroing right in on the fact that she was holding hands with Gavin Guthrie. “Hey, El, Gavin. Look, Molly, Ella’s brought Gavin.”

  Molly turned down the heat under the pot on the stove and turned to hug and kiss both of them. “This is a nice surprise, Gavin.”

  “Hope you don’t mind me crashing Sunday dinner.”

  “Of course not. You’re always welcome here. You know that.”

  “Thanks, Molly.”

  Molly took a good long look at Ella before she enveloped her in a hug. “Keeping secrets, my love?” she whispered for Ella’s ear only.

  Ella pulled back and smiled at her mom.

  “Do we have a few minutes before dinner, Mol?” Lincoln asked.

  “About twenty.”

  “Let’s go look at those trees then, Gavin.”

  “Sure thing.” He squeezed Ella’s shoulder and then followed her dad to the mudroom.

  Ella watched them go, focusing in on the excellent fit of Gavin’s faded Levi’s jeans. Yum.

  “Ahem,” Molly said the moment the door closed behind the men and dogs. “Something you want to tell me?”

  “There’s been a bit of a development.”

  “So I see.” Molly checked the pots on the stove and then returned her attention to Ella. “Care to share?”

  “He . . . We . . . We’re giving it a whirl.”

  “Well, that’s a huge development. What brought this on?”

  “It’s been kinda happening for a while now.”

  “I’d noticed that, but I wondered if it was somewhat one-sided.”

  “It’s not one-sided.”

  “Oh no?”

  “No.”

  Molly wiped her hands on a dish towel that she had tossed over her shoulder. “May I speak freely?”

  “When have you ever not spoken freely?”

  “When what I have to say might hurt one of my precious children. I tend to be a little more circumspect in those situations.”

  “Whatever it is, just say it.”

  “You know I love Gavin. I love him as much as I loved Caleb, and as much as I love Bob and Amelia. The Guthries are family to us.”

  “I know.”

  “That said, I worry about whether Gavin is in the right place, emotionally, to be what you need.”

  “He’s well aware of his issues, Mom. I’m well aware of them. We’re working through them together.”

  “As of when?”

  “Last night.”

  Molly folded her arms and leaned back against the counter. “What happened last night?”

  Ella debated whether she should tell her mother the whole story. “He had a situation . . . And, apparently, I was listed in his phone as his ‘in case of emergency’ contact, so they called me. I went there—”

  “Where is there?”

  “A place called Red’s.”

  “The biker bar on 114?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Eleanor Abbott! Are you telling me you went, alone, to a biker bar on a Saturday night to bail him out of yet another scrape?”

  “He was there.” Ellie was determined not to squirm. “I wasn’t alone.”

  “Honestly. And he condoned this?”

  “He didn’t know they were calling me.”

  “I don’t like this. Not one bit. Is this how it’s going to be? You bailing him out of ‘scrapes’ in bars?”

  “No, that’s not how it’s going to be. He’s determined to turn things around and to make a go of it with me.”

  “What if he can’t turn things around? What if he only wishes he could and you get swept up in the mess he’s been making of his life lately?”

  “I don’t know, Mom! I don’t know what’s going to happen or if he’s going to be able to be what I want and need. What I do know is that I’ve wanted a real, legitimate chance with him for years, and now that I finally have one, I’m not going to squander it by worrying about what might happen.”

  “I don’t want you to get hurt, Ella.”

  “I don’t want that either, but I refuse to spend the rest of my life wondering what could’ve been because I was so afraid to get hurt that I didn’t even try.” She swiped at her face, angered by the tears that wet her cheeks. Why was she crying?

  Molly drew her into a hug. “Sweetheart, listen to me. No one wants you to be happy more than I do. I know how much you care for him. Anyone can see that. It’s just that he . . . Well, you may not be able to fix what’s broken inside him, sweet girl.”

  “I can at least try, can’t I?”

  “Of course you can. I just want you to be careful to protect yourself, and I don’t want you going to biker bars alone. You got me?”

  “I’m thirty-one years old, Mom. If I want to go to a biker bar, alone or otherwise, I will.”

  “I don’t care if you’re thirty-one or a hundred and one, you’re still my baby.”

  “You’re planning to stick around until I’m a hundred and one, aren’t you?”

  “You bet I am. This family would go to hell in a handbasket without me.”

  “That’s the truth.” Eager to change the subject, Ella said, “What’s for dinner?”

  “Roasted chicken and all the fixings.”

  “Sounds good. What can I do to help?”

  * * *

  With the dogs running ahead of them, Gavin walked with Lincoln across the yard to the tree line.

  “Couldn’t help but notice you happened to be holding my little girl’s hand when you came into the house.”

  Whoa, Gavin thought, we’re going to dive right into it, are we? “Yes, I was. She’s got very nice hands.”

  “Everything about her is nice.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “She’s far too good for you.”

  “I’m aware of that.”

  “Heard you got arrested a couple of months ago. Any truth to that?”

  “Yes, sir. I got into a fight with a guy in a bar who said we’d wasted our time in Iraq.”

  “Huh. Well, I hope you punched his lights out.”

  “I did. Mr. Abbott—”

  “Since when am I Mr. Abbott?”

  “Since I started dating your daughter. Sir.” Gavin stopped walking and turned to face Lincoln. “I want you to know that I care about her. I have for a long time, but it was never the right time.”

  “And now is the right time?”

  “I don’t know. What I do know is I can’t fight what I feel for her anymore. I’m tired of fighting, in more ways than one. I can’t go on the way I’ve been.”

  “So you’re looking to my daughter to fix what’s wrong in your life?”

  “No. I’d never do that to her. What you said about her being too good for me. You’re absolutely right. She’s too good for most g
uys. But she makes me want to be good for her. She makes me want to be a better man so I’ll deserve her.”

  “Not much I can say to that except ask you to take care of her.”

  “I will.” Gavin was determined not to screw this up, which was actually a huge improvement over the months he’d spent not giving a shit about much of anything. He’d been going along, doing his thing, running his business, keeping his head down and soldiering on even though the pain of his loss was always with him. Then Caleb’s dog died. Good old Homer. He’d been part of so many of their adventures that losing him had been like losing Caleb all over again.

  “Let me show you the trees I want to get rid of,” Lincoln said. “I’d like to turn them into firewood. I could use some of it here and send the rest up the mountain to Colton.”

  “We can do that for you.”

  They trudged deeper into the dense vegetation, where the height of the trees blocked the sunlight.

  “I’m going to be keeping an eye on this situation with you and Ella. Just thought I should let you know that. You’re a good man, Gavin, and I think you might even be worthy of my little girl. But you’re going to have to prove that to me—and to others who’ll be watching, too.”

  “I understand.” If Ella had been his daughter, and she was getting involved with the likes of him, he’d be concerned, too. But now Gavin had one more reason to make sure he did right by her. He liked and respected Lincoln Abbott. Letting him down was the last thing he wanted to do.

  * * *

  Ella helped her mother finish the dinner preparations and was setting the table when Hannah and Nolan arrived. Hannah’s baby bump was becoming more pronounced by the day, and her sister fairly glowed with happiness and excitement. It was nice to see after so many years of wondering if Hannah would ever bounce back from losing Caleb.

  Nolan was perfect for her in every way and was obviously crazy in love with Hannah. Her sister deserved nothing less after all she’d been through.

  “How’s it going?” Hannah asked when she came into the dining room to help Ella.

  “I’m good. How’re you feeling?”

  “Much better now that I’m not puking all day. Once in the morning, and that’s that.”

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Me, too. Now I can really enjoy being pregnant.”

  Ella was struck by a pang of envy that made her feel ridiculous, especially in light of her conversation with Gavin about kids. It had taken a lot for her to admit to him that she’d once hoped to have a big family. That didn’t seem to be in the cards for her anymore, but that didn’t give her the right to be envious of her sister.

  “I happened to notice Gavin’s truck in the yard.”

  “He’s outside with Dad.”

  “I didn’t see your car, and yet here you are. Which leads me to wonder if you came with Gavin.”

  “Maybe I did.”

  “Something you want to tell me?”

  “Not if you’re going to tell me all the reasons it’s a bad idea.”

  “I won’t do that.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yes, Ella,” Hannah said, smiling. “I promise.”

  “We’re . . . giving it a try, I guess you might say.”

  “I’m happy for you. I know that’s what you’ve wanted for a long time.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “The only thing I’ll say . . .”

  “Ugh, I knew you’d have something to say.”

  “Just be careful, El. That’s all. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “Does anyone think I want that? Honestly?”

  “No, but . . . Sometimes love is blind. This is no time to put blinders on.”

  “I know that. My eyes are wide open where he’s concerned. I’ve seen him at his best—and his worst.”

  “I’m not sure that you have seen his worst.”

  Ella wanted to ask her sister what she meant by that, but more than anything she wanted out of this conversation before Gavin returned. “You’ve done your job as the big sister. You’ve warned me.”

  “Ella—”

  “How’s the new house? All moved in and settled?”

  Hannah hesitated before she took the hint that Ella wasn’t willing to talk about Gavin anymore. “Getting there. We’re setting up the baby’s room this week.”

  “Did you decide on your colors?”

  “Since we’re not finding out what we’re having, we’re going with yellow and beige.”

  “That’ll be nice. Did you fill out the registry yet?”

  “Last night. It’s so hard to decide on everything.”

  “Make sure you send me the link so we have it when we throw your surprise baby shower.”

  Hannah laughed. “I’ll do that.” She finished placing cloth napkins at each place on the long dining room table. “Hey, El?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I only said what I did because I love you so much. I love him, too. I’ll be pulling for you guys to make it work, and you know where to find me if I can help at all.”

  “Thank you,” she said, genuinely touched by Hannah’s love and concern.

  The rest of the family began arriving a short time later, filling the house with noise and chaos that was reminiscent of when they’d all lived at home. Noise was the one thing Ella remembered most vividly from those days. It was happy chaos, but chaotic nonetheless.

  She looked forward to seeing everyone at their weekly Sunday dinners but was always happy to go home alone to her quiet apartment. Gavin’s hand on her shoulder was a reminder that this week she wouldn’t be going home alone. She smiled up at him. “How was your walk with Dad?”

  “Interesting.” He leaned in closer to her. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

  Ella wanted to purr from the satisfaction of knowing they’d have time alone together later to talk, among other things. Her sister Charley came into the kitchen, her eyes widening when she saw Gavin standing so close to Ella.

  Charley and Hannah were the only two who knew how much Ella had suffered over Gavin, so Charley’s wide smile was a welcome relief.

  “Hey, guys,” she said. “Gavin, nice to see you here.”

  “Nice to be here.”

  “Someone has been keeping secrets from her sister.”

  “It’s a relatively new development,” Ella said, leaning into Gavin because she could.

  “I’ll expect a full report at work tomorrow, if not before.”

  “I see how this is going to be,” Gavin said, his tone inflected with amusement.

  “You have no idea,” Charley said before moving on to greet her parents.

  “She scares me,” Gavin whispered.

  “She scares all of us.”

  That made him laugh, and Ella discovered that she quite liked the sound of laughter coming from him when he was usually so somber. He hadn’t had a lot to laugh about lately. She would make sure he had plenty to laugh about going forward.

  Elmer Stillman came in, his face red from the chill of the mid-November air, his smile stretching from ear to ear as usual. No one loved Sunday dinner more than Ella’s grandfather did. The tradition had begun with him and his wife, Sarah, and their daughter Molly had carried it on after her mother died.

  “I brought wine,” Elmer said. “One of every kind.”

  Molly greeted her father with a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Hey, Gramps,” Ella said, returning his hug and kiss. “How are you?”

  “I’m wonderful, and you?” He eyed Gavin suspiciously, and that was when Ella knew for certain that he too was fully aware of her ongoing affection for Gavin.

  “I’m fantastic.”

  “Gavin.” Elmer extended his hand.

  Gavin shook hands with him. “Mr. Stillman.”


  “Elmer. ‘Mr. Stillman’ makes me feel old.”

  “We can’t have that,” Gavin said.

  “No, we can’t. Nice to have you here.”

  “Nice to be here.”

  Ella’s aunt Hannah and cousin Grayson Coleman came into the kitchen next. Hannah closely resembled Ella’s mother, but Aunt Hannah wore an air of bitterness about her that anyone who knew her well could plainly see. According to Molly, Hannah had never gotten over the heartbreak of her husband leaving her alone to raise eight children. Who could blame her?

  Grayson was as handsome and polished as ever. His dark blond hair was neatly trimmed, and he wore a white dress shirt under a navy V-neck sweater that looked like cashmere. He’d done well for himself as a lawyer in Boston, but Ella wondered if he was truly happy.

  He hugged her and shook Gavin’s hand. “Long time no see, Gavin.”

  “We missed you at Will’s wedding,” Ella said.

  “I hated to miss it,” Gray said. “I was in Europe for work, and there was no way I could get out of it. They didn’t give us much of a heads-up before they got married.”

  “No, they didn’t.”

  “Speak of the devils,” Gavin said as the newlyweds came in wearing the big smiles that never seemed to dim now that they were officially married. They were so, so happy.

  Ella adored her new sister-in-law, who fit right in with the Abbotts like they’d known her forever.

  After they greeted Will and Cameron, Nolan came over to them and shook hands with Gavin. “What brings you to dinner?”

  Gavin nodded his head toward Ella. “I was invited.”

  Nolan looked from Gavin to Ella and then back to Gavin again. “Oh. Oh! Wow, well, that’s cool.”

  Ella laughed at her new brother-in-law’s lightbulb moment.

  “Hey, did you get the invite to Dylan’s wedding in Turks later this month?” Nolan asked Gavin.

  “Yeah, I got it. Are you going?”

  “I don’t think we should, but Hannah wants to go.”

  “She’s not even six months pregnant, Nolan,” Ella said. “She can still travel for a couple of months yet.”

  “But is it safe? What if something happens while we’re there?”