It's Only Love

by Marie Force

  It was none of her business. She knew that. But she wanted to do this for him anyway. She wanted to give him back some of what he’d lost when Caleb died, and his friends were a great place to start. She tucked the card into the built-in bra in her tank and then went into the bedroom to get ready to go.

  “What’s up tonight?” he asked.

  “I’m making that pork tenderloin you made me buy.”

  “With the applesauce and potatoes?”

  “Yep.”

  “I’ll never survive until dinner.”

  “I’ll make you a ham sandwich for lunch when we get back to my place.”

  “Mmm, with lots of mayo?”

  “Ewww. If you insist.”

  “I do. I insist.”

  * * *

  If yesterday had been a great day for Ella, today was even better because she’d caught up on her sleep. She floated through her daily routine on a cloud of happiness, trying to work while sensual memories assailed her. The way he’d entered her from behind and driven her slowly mad before giving her what she wanted and needed.

  The heated kiss he’d left her with this morning after bringing her home. The promise of more of the same tonight.

  A knock on her office door reminded her that she was at work and expected to function, not daydream. “Come in.”

  Her brother Wade ducked his head in. “Busy?” Wade most closely resembled Will with his honey-colored hair, but his face was leaner, more angular, and his hair was much longer than Will’s.

  “Never too busy for you.”

  Smiling, he came in and shut the door, which had Ella wondering what was on his mind.

  “What’s up?”

  As he always did when he came into her office, he grabbed the stress ball on her desk and took a seat to play with it. “I was about to ask you the same thing. You’ve been hiding out all week, when you’re not walking around with a goofy grin on your face.”

  “My grin is not goofy.”

  “It’s extremely goofy. Everyone is talking about it, in fact.”

  “Whatever. It’s high time I gave them something to talk about, wouldn’t you say?”

  “High time for sure.” He moved the ball from hand to hand. “You’re being careful, right?”

  “No,” Ella said with a sigh. “I’m not being careful at all. I’m in this so deep, Wade.”

  “You’ve been in it so deep with him for a long time now.”

  “Yes, I have. And now that I have him, so to speak, it’s made all the years of wanting him so worth it.”

  His face set in an oddly contemplative expression. “That must be nice.”

  “It is nice. It’s . . . It’s amazing. I always sort of knew it would be this way, but now I know it for sure.”

  “I’m happy for you, Ella. You know that, right?”

  “Sure.” Why did she hear yet another but coming?

  “I just hope he doesn’t disappoint you.”

  “You and everyone else I’m related to.” She leaned her elbows on the desktop. “Everyone is saying the same thing. Even he is saying it.”

  “And yet . . .”

  “And yet, even though I know it’s a slippery slope, I’ve never been this happy, Wade. Ever.”

  “Do you know why you’re my favorite sister and my favorite sibling?”

  “Why?” she asked, touched by words he’d never said out loud before.

  “Because you’re the least judgmental person I know and the nicest. No matter what’s going on, you’re always up, always positive, always optimistic. Those are such admirable qualities. I think we all wish we were more like you.”

  “Stop,” she said, feeling leaky around the eyes. Her normally reserved brother was rather effusive today. “That’s not true.”

  “It is true. You’re everyone’s go-to person when they need a pick-me-up. Good old Ella is there for everyone. I honestly think there are those among us who would kill anyone who hurt you, even someone we love as much as we do Gavin.”

  Incredibly touched by his sweet words, Ella said, “I love you for caring so much and for all the nice things you said about me, even if I don’t feel I deserve such high praise.”

  “You deserve it, Ella. You deserve the best of everything. Don’t settle for less, you hear me?”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Good.” He returned the stress ball to the desk. “Then my work here is finished.”

  “Are you ever going to tell me who it is that has you tied up in knots?”

  CHAPTER 13

  Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.

  —Robert H. Schuller

  Wade seemed momentarily stunned. “What?”

  “You think I don’t know, but I do. I’ve known for a long time there was someone.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said bitterly. “She’s not available to me.”

  “I knew it! Who is she? Tell me everything.”

  Wade sagged back into the chair. “Nothing much to tell. We’re friends. She’s married. Not happily, but she won’t talk about it. I worry he’s knocking her around, but I can’t prove it. Now I don’t even really talk to her anymore.” He shrugged. “It’s not going to happen, so what’s the point of thinking about it?”

  “I know that feeling, when it all seems so hopeless.”

  “In this case, it is hopeless. She’s married to someone else.”

  “What’s her name?”

  He hesitated before he said, “Mia.”

  “How did you meet her?”

  “At a yoga retreat.”

  “When?”

  “A year and a half ago.”

  “Oh God, Wade . . . And all that time . . .”

  His shrug was confirmation.

  Filled with sadness for his dilemma, Ella got up and went around the desk, sitting in the chair next to his. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Nothing to tell. It was over before it began.”

  “Why do you think he’s knocking her around?”

  “She’s always got bruises on her arms that she says are because she’s clumsy, but they look like fingerprints to me. Like someone grabbed her hard. She denies that he’s hurting her.”

  Ella took a deep breath and blew it out. “You’re worried, though.”

  “Hell, yes, I’m worried! I keep telling myself it’s not my deal. She’s not mine. She’s married to him, not me. And every night I lie awake wondering how she is, if she’s hurting, if she’s scared, why she doesn’t call me anymore. It fucking sucks.”

  Ella picked up the stress ball and put it back in his hands, covering them with hers. “I can’t imagine what that must be like.”

  “Every day I say this is the day I’m not going to think about her anymore, and every night I’m right back in hell, left to wonder where she is, if she’s okay, whether she ever thinks of me the way I think of her.”

  “Why haven’t you told me about her before?”

  “I don’t know.” He squeezed the ball and then glanced at her. “I told Hannah once in a weak moment. I needed to tell someone, and she was willing to listen.”

  “I’m glad you told someone. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

  “You’re not mad I told Hannah and not you?”

  “No, Wade,” she said, smiling at his reference to the special bond the two of them had always shared. “I’m not mad. I hope Hannah was able to give you some good advice.”

  “She did.”

  “If there’s anything I can do, anything at all . . .”

  “I know. Thank you. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

  “I never would.”

  “I gotta get back to work figuring out how to incorporate sex toys and marital aids into our health and wellness line. Never thought I’d say that sente
nce out loud.”

  Ella snorted with laughter. “Good old Dad strikes again.”

  “Thank goodness it’s going to be your problem getting the sales force onboard. No way I can imagine having that conversation with all the lovely grandmothers who work for us.”

  “You’re so cute that they’d be filled with warm thoughts of Wade Abbott on cold winter nights.”

  “Eww.”

  Ella lost it laughing at the face he made.

  “On that note, I’m outta here.” He tossed the stress ball to her and made a hasty exit.

  After he left, Ella couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d told her and how awful it had to be caring about Mia the way he did but not knowing if she was okay.

  Since she was apparently taking a break from work, Ella stood and stretched and then left her office to cross the hall to Hunter’s. “Knock, knock.”

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  Ella stepped into Hunter’s office and closed the door. “I need a favor.”

  “Okay . . .”

  “It’s a weird favor and you may not approve, but I need the favor anyway.”

  “That was a hell of an intro. Lay it on me.”

  “I want to take Gavin to Dylan’s wedding, and I need you to help me with the logistics. I don’t know Dylan as well as you do.”

  He tapped his mechanical pencil against his lip as he contemplated her request. “I thought Gavin said he wasn’t going to the wedding.”

  “That’s what he said. Yes.”

  “So, um . . .”

  “Nolan told me he never goes to Sultan things anymore, except for when they’re here.”

  “That’s true.”

  “It’s because he thinks of them as Caleb’s friends, not his. But they’re his friends, too. Everyone has said that.”

  “You might be wading into shark-infested waters here, Ella. Gavin is weird when it comes to stuff that involved Caleb. I suspect it’s been part of his coping mechanism to distance himself from things he associates with Caleb.”

  “By doing that, he’s also distancing himself from people who care about him. I hate that for him. I hate that he’s been living half a life for all these years. I want to remind him of things he used to enjoy. If he can’t do those things with Caleb anymore, he can still do them with me and you and all his other friends.”

  “It might be too hard for him,” Hunter said softly.

  “The first time. Maybe the second and third time. But eventually he’ll start to associate new memories with old friends.”

  “Are you prepared for him to be unhappy that you’ve done such a thing?”

  Her stomach knotted at the thought of making Gavin unhappy. That was the last thing she wanted to do. “I hope he’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

  “You’re playing with emotional dynamite.”

  “Maybe so, but you know what he told me last night?”

  Hunter cringed. “Is it PG-13?”

  “Yes,” she said with a laugh. “He said it’s been years since he laughed or smiled as much as he has with me in the last few days. I want to give him more to smile about. That’s all this is.”

  “And if you get a few days in the tropics with the guy you love . . .”

  “Bonus.”

  Hunter shook his head, his disapproval still obvious, but he clicked away on his computer and then looked up at her. “I sent you an e-mail with Dylan’s address.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Your heart’s in the right place with this, Ella. Don’t think I can’t see that. But just be prepared for it to not be as easy as you think it’s going to be.”

  “Nothing with Gavin has been easy, except for the way I feel about him. Loving him is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “I know that feeling, but I also know Gavin, and he’s different since Caleb died.”

  “Of course he is. We all are.”

  “No one more so than Gavin. The grief runs deep. All the way to his bone marrow.”

  “Grief isn’t the only emotion he’s capable of feeling. I’m determined to prove that to him.”

  “Just make sure it’s not at your own expense.”

  “I’m getting tired of everyone warning me off the man I love.”

  “I know that feeling, too. Everyone thought I was crazy for getting involved with Megan, especially when she’d been so crazy about Will for so long. Didn’t matter. I get it. But none of us wants to see you sucked into the rabbit hole Gavin’s been in for years now. In fact, I can almost promise you that I’ll throw myself in front of that if I see it happening.”

  “I don’t want you throwing yourself in front of anything, Hunter. I’m asking you and everyone to respect my judgment and my privacy. I know we’re up in each other’s business all the time, but I won’t welcome interference in this case.”

  “Ella—”

  “Gavin has a right to be happy, especially after everything he’s been through. I’m going to make him happy.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? That’s it? You’re actually going to stand down?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is. Don’t worry about me. I’m a lot tougher than I look.”

  “I will worry about you because that’s my job as your big brother.”

  Ella rolled her eyes at him. “Focus your big-brother bullshit on Charley and leave me alone.”

  “It’s easier to focus on you. You’re not as mean as she is.”

  “Wimp.”

  “Damn straight.”

  Ella walked out laughing and encountered her dad returning from somewhere with Ringo and George in hot pursuit.

  “Just the girl I wanted to see,” Lincoln said. “Step into my office.”

  She didn’t bother to remind him that she was no longer a girl. Nor did she take the time to tell him she didn’t want to hear Gavin warnings from him, too. Resigned to losing control of her day, she followed her father into his office.

  “Close the door, will you?”

  Ella wanted to tell him there was no need to close the door because they weren’t going to talk about the thing he wanted to talk about. But arguing with him would take time she didn’t want to waste when she had a special meal to cook for the man she adored. She’d taken advantage of Gavin’s ungodly wake-up time to come into work more than an hour earlier than normal with plans to also leave early.

  She took a seat in front of her dad’s desk. “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to go over the remarks for Friday night. You’ve given me a great start, as always, but I need your opinion on a few things.”

  “Oh,” Ella said, pleasantly surprised to realize they were going to discuss business rather than her love life. However, this was Lincoln Abbott, and his interest in his children’s love lives had been at an all-time high recently. So she remained wary.

  They went over the remarks Ella had drafted for him, thanking the sales team for their dedication to the family and the store, gearing them up for the holiday rush and reminding them of several new product lines that were expected to get a lot of attention this year.

  “I’d like to mention the toys,” Lincoln said.

  “You’ve got that covered in the part about special gifts for the young people.”

  “Not those toys.”

  “Oh . . .” Ella did not want to sit in a room with her father and discuss sex toys. Uh-uh. No way. “It’s probably too soon. We’re not ready to roll that out yet.”

  “We’re ready to tell them it’s coming in the New Year.”

  “But that has nothing to do with the upcoming holiday season.”

  “It’s a great time to start the conversation with everyone there. The next company meeting doesn’t happen until the picnic in July.”

  “We can call another com
pany-wide meeting before then, if need be.”

  “That’s just more work. I want to tell them about it. Will you write me a paragraph or two about what we’re doing and why?”

  “I still don’t know what we’re doing or why.”

  “Yes, you do. You sat in Colton’s presentation and heard the numbers and why it makes sense to add the line to our store.”

  “Fine. I’ll write something for you. Anything else?”

  Eyeing her shrewdly, Lincoln sat back in his big leather chair and scratched Ringo behind the ears. “How are things?”

  “Things are good. How are things with you?”

  “Just fine.”

  “Great. Glad we had this conversation.” She began to get up to leave.

  “Ella.”

  “Dad, please. I know exactly what you’re going to say and I’ve already heard it from Mom, Hunter, Hannah, Wade, Charley . . . It’s beginning to feel a bit like piling on. I know you all care, and I appreciate that. But if you really care, please just stay out of it.”

  “All I was going to say is that I like Gavin. I like him for you.”

  Ella was so flabbergasted that her mind went totally blank. She had not expected him to say that. “Oh. Well. Thanks. I like him for me, too.”

  He smiled. “He’s a good guy.”

  “Yes, he is. So . . . That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Okay, um, I . . . I’ll get you that paragraph.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  Baffled and confused and more than a little relieved, Ella left her father’s office and returned to her own. For the next hour she labored over the paragraph her father wanted, trying to set the right tone so the sales force wouldn’t be alarmed by the new product line. She made sure to assure them that there would be lots of on-site training before the line went live and anyone who had concerns was welcome to bring them to the management at any time.

  She sent it off to her dad via e-mail, hoping to avoid another sex toy conversation with her father. No one ever said there wasn’t a downside to working for the family business. She couldn’t wait to share this story with Gavin when she saw him later.