by Clare Lydon
Sophie nodded. “We are — she’s happier living away from us, and we’ve all adapted, some of us better than others. I’ve been over to see her, and we Skype. But it’s affected my relationships: if you can get up and walk out of a romantic union you said you were committed to, just like that… It’s made me doubt them all. But my brother gets on with his life, and even my dad’s talking about dating again, so perhaps it’s time I gave it a go, too.”
When she glanced up at the mirror in the sun visor, she could see part of her mum staring back at her. It was happening more and more as she got older, this eerie resemblance.
“For what it’s worth, it seems like you’re doing fine to me,” Tanya said, with a smile. “But you know what they say — you can’t choose your family.”
Sophie shook her head: she knew that only too well. “You can’t: families are like a postcode lottery, aren’t they? But I wouldn’t be without them. I still love them, even if some of them drive me mad. So anyway, that’s my story: my mum’s done a bunk, and my dad’s still here, living with Doris.”
“Your step-mum?”
Sophie smiled. “No, she’s our dog — and the most reliable female I’ve ever known. Which tells you all you need to know about my relationship history.” That sentence was truer than Sophie cared to admit.
Tanya’s laughter boomed in the car. “Well, I’m sure I could challenge you on that.” She paused. “What’s your brother called?”
“Luke. He lives in Brighton with his wife, Sky. I see him irregularly, when he’s not DJing or designing or whatever else hip shit he does. I think my dad always had visions of running a business and training Luke up as his apprentice, but he was never interested.”
Sophie pursed her lips. “Sometimes, it feels like I’m an only child, because Luke always flits in and out of our lives as he wants to. It’s always on his terms, and I’m the one who was left to check up on dad once Luke met his wife.” She sighed. “I’m probably painting a bad picture of him. I’ve seen more of him recently, but you know — families.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“How so?”
“I have a Luke — but he’s called Jonathan. He also couldn’t wait to flee our parents’ dysfunctional home, although in retrospect, he was smarter than me. Jonathan made sure the distance was significant, not just Sturby to London. He lives in Dubai.”
“He wasn’t doing it half-arsed.”
“Nope.” Tanya eased the car forward a few feet, before stopping again.
In the car beside them, a man was singing along to some music, banging his hands on the steering wheel as he reached a critical point. Sophie smiled: she loved doing that herself.
“He’s really going for it,” Tanya said, noticing too.
“He is.”
“Maybe we should put some upbeat music on to take our mind off our family woes,” Tanya continued. “It seems like everyone has a tale to tell.”
Sophie shrugged. “Everybody’s family is a bit weird, isn’t it? We all think we’re the weirdest, but we’re not.”
Her gaze lingered on Tanya as she turned back to the traffic, the car edging forward a fraction more under her guidance. She had a strong chin, high cheekbones, and her lustrous hair caressed her cheeks and ended on her shoulder.
However, more than her physical attributes, Sophie was drawn to her forthright nature and her humour. It wasn’t every day she met someone she connected with this well: as she kept having to remind herself, they didn’t really know each other — yet here they were, comparing family skeletons. It had been so long since Sophie had met anybody she wanted to do that with — so very long — and every inch of her was singing with happiness. She loved the connection they were building, the shared glances and memories, the laughs. It warmed her from the inside, making her woozy with possibility, with what might happen next.
“So how will your parents take you turning up tonight?” Sophie flexed her fingers as she asked: her pinky had gone to sleep.
“My dad will be jittery, my mum will be stony and impassively aggressive. Just the usual.”
“At least you know what to expect. My mum always blew hot and cold with affection: as I’ve got older, I’ve realised she’s just uncomfortable in her own skin, nothing to do with me. But it took a fair few years to work that out.”
“I think my mum’s uncomfortable in her own skin, in her lounge, in her country and in the world. The best solution would be to put her in a cave and leave her there. I told Alan to slip something into her tea and put us all out of our misery, but he refused. Spoilsport.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting Alan,” Sophie said with a grin.
“He’s the best.”
“Is he married?” Sophie asked, her interest piqued. She loved getting to know about other people’s families: she was nosy by nature, which was why dog walking suited her.
Tanya shook her head. “He’s not. He lived with Uncle Rod for a while, but then Uncle Rod died. Alan’s been alone since then, just him and his beloved dogs.”
Sophie raised both eyebrows. “Uncle Rod?” she said, her tone rising. “So he’s one of us?”
“I don’t follow,” Tanya replied, her gaze falling on Sophie briefly.
Sophie smiled. “I assume Alan and Rod were an item?”
Tanya gripped the wheel tighter, looking straight ahead, but Sophie could hear her teeth grinding, her jaw clicking.
They were approaching the flashing lights now, a mix of red and blue, and Sophie could see there had been an accident: a Renault Clio had hit a Ford Fiesta in the driver’s side, glass and debris sparkling on the road. Two ambulances were present, along with two police cars. Tanya manoeuvred the car round the traffic cones that were zoning off the road.
“I hope nobody was injured, but it looks bad.”
“It does,” Tanya replied. “And about Alan — I don’t think him and Rod were an item. They were just friends.”
Sophie sat up straight, her face a question mark. “Really? How long did they live together?”
“About ten years.”
“And have you ever asked him?”
Tanya shook her head. “No, but I heard my parents talking about it once, and that’s what they said. And Alan didn’t seem that upset when Rod died — I mean, not unduly…” She tailed off, putting her foot down on the accelerator as the road suddenly opened up after the accident. It took a few more seconds before the blocks fell into place.
“Shit, Alan’s gay, isn’t he?” Tanya said eventually, shaking her head. “Why did I never ask whether or not Alan was gay?”
“Because you believed what you’d been told? How old were you when Rod died?” Sophie asked.
“About 15.”
Sophie shook her head. “You were young, you weren’t to know.”
But Tanya was still shaking her head. “But I could have been there for him. I could have helped, been more sympathetic.” She thumped the steering wheel as she drove.
Sophie’s muscles tightened as the mood in the car changed. Had she said the wrong thing as she’d been fearing before she left? She hadn’t meant to upset Tanya. She reached over and placed a hand on Tanya’s arm, and a spark shot through her as she did.
Tanya jumped, too.
They both stared at each other for a moment, before Tanya turned her eyes back to the road.
Sophie took away her hand, not sure what to say next.
“You didn’t know, and I’m sure Alan doesn’t hold it against you.” Sophie paused. “And maybe they were just friends. Really good friends.” Sophie tried to suppress a laugh, but it didn’t work. Instead she began spluttering like an old water faucet.
And at the sound of that, Tanya smiled and joined in as well.
Once Sophie had permission to laugh, the floodgates opened. The car’s air lightened, now filled with gales of laughter.
“What a plonker,” Tanya said, shaking her head when she got her breath back. “I know enough couples who’ve been described as ‘jus
t good friends’ to know what it means. I guess Alan just never struck me as being really gay — he’s not a stereotype.”
“And you are?” Sophie said, wiping her eyes, recovering. With her long hair and perfect make-up, Sophie would be hard-pressed to pick Tanya as gay in a line-up.
“I guess not. Unless you take me on at pool. Then I’m a demon,” Tanya replied, grinning. “Shit, I need to speak to Alan.”
“You do,” Sophie said. “But first, we need to get to Sturby and rescue Delilah from your mother’s evil clutches.” She paused: had she said too much? “Am I allowed to say that, even though I’ve never met her? Is it too soon to be making jokes about your mum?”
Tanya chuckled. “My mother gave up the right to be protected by me the day she disowned me and threw me out of the house. Call her what you want, I don’t give a damn.”
“Duly noted.”
They passed a sign with a list of towns on it: Sturby wasn’t one of them.
“How far are we now?” Sophie asked. She really needed a cigarette, but she didn’t want Tanya to know that. Plus, this enforced will power was good for her. At least, Rachel would say so.
“Still a good hour, so let me know if you need the loo. There’s a service station in about five miles, but then you’ll have to hold it in for a good while. So speak now.”
“I’m good, I can wait,” she said. “Besides, I’m looking forward to getting to Sturby — I’ve never been before.”
Tanya snorted at that. “You’re about to find out why.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
That last hour turned into a couple when they ran into another accident on the M6: the final ten miles had taken nearly 90 minutes. Under normal circumstances, Tanya might have succumbed to road rage, but Sophie was a calming presence, making light of the situation and chatting away, like they’d known each other for years.
Whisper it, but she’d even enjoyed the journey. Six hours in a car with someone definitely gives you clues as to whether or not you’re compatible. If they hadn’t got on, the drive would have been interminable. As it was, the hours had flown by and Tanya was surprised to find she felt almost relaxed as she pulled up — even though they were a couple of hours behind schedule.
“Here we are, home sweet home.” Tanya parked in front of her parent’s house and tugged on the handbrake, risking a glance at Sophie.
What was she thinking? How did her home town present to someone who’d never seen it before? Tanya was well aware of what she saw — more to the point, how it made her feel. Every time she came back, it was like she was visiting a past version of herself, and she knew she had to change that. Because Tanya wasn’t that person anymore.
“You okay?” Sophie said, as if sensing the internal dialogue going on with Tanya.
Tanya nodded, clearing her throat. “As I’ll ever be.” She checked her watch. “But it’s ten o’clock — Mum’s not going to be in the best mood to see me at this time.” She paused. “Let’s go to see Alan first.”
Sophie nodded and got out of the car, performing a full body stretch as she did. When she looked over at Tanya, she gave her a thumbs-up, which made Tanya grin. Having backup at home was a welcome change.
She strode up Alan’s path, making sure Sophie was behind her. When she rang his bell, he didn’t take long to answer. And if Alan was surprised Tanya had brought a friend, he didn’t show it.
“Come in, come in!” he said, smiling at them both, as Bouncer and Margo yapped at their heels. “You’re later than you thought. Are you thinking of going next door now?”
Tanya nodded, checking her watch again even though she already knew the time. “We have to — I’ve only rented the car till tomorrow morning, and I have to be at work then, too.” She sighed. “We got caught up in two accidents, hence the time.”
“At least you weren’t in them,” Alan said, holding out a hand to Sophie. “I’m Alan, by the way.”
Sophie shook his hand, showing off the gorgeous smile that Tanya was already becoming accustomed to. “Sophie. Nice to meet you.”
“You, too,” Alan replied, before turning back to Tanya. “But seriously — why don’t you stay the night and go next door in the morning? Your mum will be more receptive and it’ll be better for Delilah, too. She’ll be in her bed by now.”
Tanya stopped at that. She’d been so set on getting Delilah and heading home, she hadn’t considered the dog’s routine. She glanced at Sophie, trying to ask how she felt. Was staying the night okay with her?
Sophie seemed to get the message. “I don’t have clients till 2pm tomorrow, so I don’t mind,” she said, shaking her head. “So long as we leave early, it’s fine.” She paused. “And it’ll probably be better for us, too, as well as Delilah. Do you really fancy driving back again after the journey we just had?”
Tanya shook her head. “It’s not top of my list.”
“That’s settled, then,” Alan said. “I already made up the guest room, so now I’ll make a cup of tea.”
Tanya ushered the dogs and Sophie into the lounge, and they sat, listening to the sound of Alan getting mugs, milk and spoons ready.
“Are you sure you’re okay to stay?” Tanya asked.
Sophie nodded. “Yes, it’s fine. Plus, it means I get to know Alan, doesn’t it? I can see what you mean — I wouldn’t necessarily have picked him as gay.” She paused, giving the living room a once over. “But he does have a woman’s touch. I don’t know many straight men who have candles in the fireplace or this many flowers around. My dad definitely doesn’t.”
“I’d almost forgotten that bit after getting here so late. Must ask Alan if he’s gay. So many loose ends to tie up.”
But that wasn’t the most pressing thing on Tanya’s mind at the moment: that honour went to their sleeping arrangements for the night.
Tanya had stayed with Alan numerous times, and she knew he had three bedrooms: his own, the spare room and his office. All of which meant she and Sophie were destined to share a bed — but she wasn’t going to think about that now.
“Did I hear my name being mentioned?” Alan asked, coming in with a tray of tea and biscuits. The tray was vintage kitsch, with floral decor along with a chintzy gold rim and handles.
Sophie gave Tanya a ‘told you so’ look, which Tanya steadfastly ignored.
Yes, she saw the signs now she was looking.
“I was just telling Sophie I didn’t know what I’d do without you,” Tanya replied with a smile.
“The feeling’s mutual,” Alan said, pouring out the tea, before handing round the biscuits. “So, how do you two know each other?”
Tanya sat up straight: how did they know each other? She’d crashed into Sophie, nearly crushed her with a sofa, and they’d spoken a couple of times. The more time she spent with her, the more she liked her, but what did that make them?
Tanya spluttered. “We, er… we kinda just met randomly,” she began, her cheeks colouring.
“What Tanya’s trying to say is we live in the same building and we kept running into each other. We got chatting, and I’m a dog walker, so I offered to help her out on her dog rescue mission.”
Sophie said all of this so smoothly, it was almost as if it had been rehearsed.
Not for the first time today, Tanya was so grateful Sophie was there.
“Splendid idea,” Alan said. “Many hands make light work and all of that.” He leaned forward and smiled at Sophie. “It’s so lovely to meet you. I’ve only met a handful of Tanya’s friends; she likes to keep London and Sturby very separate.”
“Can you blame me?” Tanya said.
Alan shook his head. “No, but it means I get shut out, too.”
“Well you should come to London,” Sophie said. “Shouldn’t he, Tanya? We could show you around town.”
“I’d love to come — we’ve been talking about it long enough, haven’t we? I was meant to bring your gran, but that never happened.”
Tanya let that comment roll through her like a s
trong gale, but she didn’t let it flatten her. Her gran was gone, but Alan was still here, and she was going to get to know him better in whatever time they had left.
“All the more reason for you to come now, Sophie’s right. Let’s put a date in the diary before we leave.”
Alan smiled. “Okay. Let me see who can look after these two characters,” he said, pointing at Margo and Bouncer, “and then we’ll talk.” He paused. “One thing about staying tonight — it’s in the spare room, which is one bed. I mean, it’s king-sized, but still just one.” He paused. “Is that okay? Or I can make up the sofa if you’d prefer?”
Tanya glanced over at Sophie: the thought of sharing a bed with Sophie, king-sized or otherwise, made her half-giddy, half-pensive. She didn’t know where they stood yet, and she certainly didn’t want to have that chat today — not with everything else going on. But she couldn’t say any of that to Sophie, especially not with Alan staring at them.
“I’m okay with it if you are?” Tanya said, a cough working its way out of her mouth. She cleared her throat, feeling her cheeks burn. “But also, I’m equally happy to sleep on the sofa.” She didn’t want Sophie to feel like she had to share a bed.
But Sophie was already shaking her head. “That’s fine,” she said, looking down at the carpet, then back up at Tanya.
Was it Tanya’s imagination, or had Sophie’s cheeks turned a shade darker, too? Thinking about sharing a bed with Sophie made Tanya aware she needed to regulate her breathing, and fast.
Her mind suddenly presented a vivid sketch of what Sophie might look like naked: this was a new departure. She broke out in a cold sweat as the sketch came to life: Sophie naked, reclining, beckoning her closer with her index finger. And that’s when her clit joined in on the act, perking up and sending shockwaves right through her.
Tanya styled it out, focusing on Alan and the knit of his charcoal woollen cardigan, which was suddenly super-interesting to her. Alan liked to knit, and she wondered if he’d knitted it himself.
Shit, the signs really were there, weren’t they?
