by Lynn Cahoon
“This looks amazing.” His stomach growled just looking at the food. James took a big bite. “Mmmm, and tastes better.”
“I’m not done yet.” Lizzie turned to the stove and grabbed two more plates — one stacked with pancakes, the other with hash brown potatoes filled with bacon bits, onions and green peppers. “There you go. If you’re still hungry after this, I’ve got a loaf of banana bread about to come out of the oven.”
“What, no huckleberry pie?” James ducked as he watched Lizzie’s color rise.
“You ungrateful snit.”
“Hold on, I was just fooling. This is way more than enough. Jesse’s going to be jealous. Homemade meals come few and far between on the road.”
The instant he mentioned Jesse, Lizzie’s face went from beaming to a controlled emotionless void. Damn it, he should know better. They still needed to talk about the future. James knew that however often she’d spoken her mind about his brother, Lizzie had tried not to influence his decisions about Jesse. She’d be blown away if she knew exactly what he’d been thinking. James hid a small grin behind a mouthful of food.
“Yah, Mom, fooling.”
JR came to his defense — which made James’s grin widen. He snuck a peek at Lizzie’s face.
“JR, your dad doesn’t need your help getting into the dog house.” She smiled sweetly at James. “He’s always done that fine by himself.”
Lizzie put her own plate down and reached for his and JR’s hand. JR reached for his other hand and James found himself in a circle.
“JR, will you say grace?” Lizzie bowed her head and waited.
James watched his son bow his head. When the little voice started, James filled with emotion, not only for the miracle before him, but for the promise it held. The three of them, a family. Eating together, learning together, loving each other. He’d wanted this his entire life. And now it waited for him, ready-made despite his walking away from Lizzie the first time.
He bowed his head and listened to JR say the blessing on the food. This time, James assured himself, he wouldn’t walk away. This time he’d choose differently.
He had to.
• • •
Two hours later the first cabin shone, ceiling to floor, on the inside. Maybe, Lizzie thought, surveying her handiwork with pride, it wouldn’t take as long to get all five cabins up and running as she’d imagined. Then she flipped over the bare mattress and winced. She’d forgotten how long it had been since the cabins had seen new bedding. Mentally she shifted new mattresses and springs to the top of her list of necessary purchases — next season. What she had would have to do for now. Who knew, by then maybe she’d even have the money to upgrade to a higher quality. People who rented cabins and made use of the hot spring baths liked pampering. And nothing said love like a big soft comfy bed.
The sound of the lawnmower took her to the cabin’s window. James was mowing the yard, his shirt discarded on a lawn chair in the middle of the patio. She glanced around to locate JR. He stood at the edge of the river. Last month she’d found him alone on the rocks, his fishing pole dangling in the water.
The lawnmower engine cut off and her glance returned to James. His muscular chest showed Lizzie he hadn’t given up on his gym addiction. He’d always loved lifting weights. His shoulders were broad and her fingertips itched to touch him. To skim down his arms, feel the hard muscles beneath the softness of his skin. She clenched her hands. Stupid. James was here to get to know his child, not play house with her. But, boy did her body ache to cuddle next to him.
She grabbed the pillows she needed to replace before the cabin would be ready to rent and headed for the house. Making up the bed, stocking the in-cabin bathroom and kitchenette, and adding some welcoming touches like fresh flowers and curtains would take the rest of the weekend. And they still had to drive back into town before Jesse’s competition. Chores might not be a fun activity, but a clean house was a godly house her mother always said. She’d thought her mom was just trying to keep Lizzie’s teenage hormones in check when she’d turned over the upkeep of the cabins when Lizzie turned thirteen. While that might have been part of it, Lizzie also understood now that her mother had also been trying to give her something to fall back on “in case.” Teach her how to take care of herself, make use of the family assets available to her.
She’d never thought of it like that before. Never realized how insightful her mother might have been — or how far-seeing.
The thought brought her back to the Sullivan boys. James. Jesse. She shook her head. Jesse knew how to have a good time, that she’d give him. But how would he react when James told him about JR? To learning he was an uncle? More importantly, how would James react if Jesse fought the idea? Jesse could demand proof of paternity and James hadn’t even brought up the idea of a paternity test.
James hadn’t doubted her when she said JR was his son. Jesse wouldn’t be as easy to convince. But like it or not, he’d have to accept JR eventually. She hoped his protests wouldn’t hurt her son. JR already accepted Jesse as family. Lizzie hoped the reverse would also be true.
On the kitchen table James’s cell phone rang, playing a tune Lizzie recognized. Surprised, she realized it had to be Jesse calling. Who else would James attach to a song about a troubadour running his life on the road?
Glancing out the window, she saw James standing next to JR, watching the river. Not telling him about the call would only delay the inevitable. Jesse was going to find out. It might as well be now.
She dropped the old pillows into a trash bag and set it aside to take out to the garbage. Grabbing James’s cell, she walked toward the river. As one, James and JR glanced up at her approach. She handed the phone to James. “I think Jesse’s trying to reach you.”
James took the phone and without looking at the number slipped it into the pocket of his jeans. “He can wait.”
Lizzie watched him carefully. “Are you sure? He might need something.”
“If he can’t be without me for a day, we’ve got problems.” James grinned.
“Maybe Uncle Jesse’s lonely and wants to be here with us,” JR suggested.
Lizzie had almost forgotten he was within earshot.
“Uncle Jesse’s never lonely. He’s got a lot of friends.” James winked at Lizzie.
Lizzie gave him a meaning glare, warning him to keep the conversation kid friendly.
“I have friends, but I still like to be home with Mom and Gramps.” JR poured dirt from an old favorite sippy cup into his yellow Tonka truck. “I bet Uncle Jesse feels the same way about being with you.”
James knelt and straightened one of the trucks. “You’re cool kid, you know that?”
“I know. Mom says it all the time.” JR hugged James.
Watching them, Lizzie’s eyes filled. Both were trying hard to make their first days special. Somehow, the years James had missed didn’t seem to matter to either of them. They were happy to be together now. Living in the present was a skill Lizzie didn’t possess, but James and JR seemed comfortable looking neither forward nor back.
“Well, I’ve got another cabin to clean.” Lizzie spun toward cabin number two. No use getting mushy over a man and his son.
“I’ll grab the pressure washer and start spraying down the outsides,” James called after her.
JR called, “I’m helping Dad.”
Throat clogged, Lizzie opened the cabin’s screen door and looked over her shoulder at JR and James headed to the shed. JR had known James for two days and already he chose James over her. Lizzie felt a pang of jealousy. She understood it had to be because James was so new in his life, but still the twinge was there.
Forcing herself to shake it off, she glanced at her watch. Another hour and they’d have to get cleaned up for the rodeo. Rather than worry about what might happen, she needed to deal with the stuff in her control. Like getting this second cabin spruced up. Heck, if James showed up tomorrow as promised, she’d have all of the cabins ready to go by mid-month. All she�
�d need then was customers.
And money for new pillows and the breakfast part of the bargain.
Save tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow, her mother’s voice whispered another favorite saying inside her head. Today has enough problems of its own.
Lizzie smiled wryly. Only now did she realize how wise her mom had been. Maybe someday she’d learn to accept advice before she had to learn from her mistakes.
• • •
Cleaning the second cabin took half the time of the first now that she’d found a rhythm. Carrying her load of discard pillows toward the main house, she searched the yard for signs of James and JR. They’d completed the power washing and the lawn area was empty and quiet. She glanced at the river, calling, “Time to get ready for the rodeo. JR? James?” Then headed for the house —
— where she walked through the kitchen door and into a smiling James.
“Here, let me take that.” He grabbed the pillows from her and turned to look for a trash bag.
“What are you guys doing, taking a break while I worked?” Lizzie frowned at JR who was standing on a chair in front of the table. “Get down from there, how many times do I have to tell you?”
JR jumped to the floor. “Tah-dah.”
“Very nice, now get upstairs and change into the clothes on your bed.” Lizzie ruffled JR’s hair and then she saw the bouquet of spring wild flowers in the middle of the oak table. “Oh, JR, they’re beautiful.”
“That’s what we were doing. Picking you flowers.” JR beamed at her.
She pulled him into a hug. Whatever had she been thinking? She didn’t need to be jealous of the time JR chose to spend with James. Her son still loved his mommy. She smiled at James, who leaned against the doorway, watching.
“Thank you.”
“Dad helped. He said you were working hard and deserved a treat.” JR shot a look at James, then turned his attention back to Lizzie. “You really like them?”
“I love the flowers and the thought. Thanks, buddy.” Lizzie stood. “Now go get ready.”
JR flew up the stairs. “We’re going to the rodeo again.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Lizzie joked. “And thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful.”
“JR’s idea.” James walked closer.
“Somehow I doubt that.” If she reached out she could run her hands up his arms, touch those shoulders. It was a shame James had retrieved his shirt. The black tee hugged his body, reminding Lizzie of the man underneath. Her hands twitched.
“You deserve flowers every day.” He leaned in.
Lizzie’s eyes closed, waiting for the kiss. She could feel his breath on her face, warm and hinting of mint. Then his lips touched hers and she fell into the kiss. Soft and tender at first, as if James waited for her to stop him. When she responded, he deepened the kiss. She reached up and pulled his head closer, her hands touching those shoulders she’d been thinking about all morning. James groaned, interrupting the kiss.
“We have to get ready for the rodeo.” He held her close, arms around her waist.
“Really?” Her eyes danced as she thought about the things she’d rather do than drive into town and sit on wooden bleachers, watching cows run around a pen.
“Do you want to explain why we aren’t going to JR?” James brushed a cobweb off her cheek. “Because I don’t.”
“Sure, leave me with the hard stuff.” Lizzie touched his face. His lips.
What the heck was she doing? JR was upstairs.
She tried to take a step backwards, but James pulled her back.
“Stop. We are going to talk about this.”
“Talk about what, James? This?” She made a back-and-forth finger motion between them. “This is what it’s always been, hot and ready to run out of control. If you mean something else, quit dancing and speak.”
James held her gaze. “Tonight’s probably going to be crazy. I need to break the news about JR to Jesse. And he and I need to talk about our partnership. This changes it. JR changes it. He and I have to figure that out.”
For a long moment Lizzie looked at him, saw the earnestness and sincerity written in with the passion on his face. And she wanted to believe him the way he’d believed her about JR, without thought or question. Accept his desire to make things different at face value. But.
But no matter how much of the last six years — or really all the years since his mother had left and that included all of the years Lizzie had known him — seemed on the surface to be about Jesse, the truth was that James was every bit the rodeo gypsy that his brother was. He was a cowboy, and cowboys never stayed in one place for long.
Sobered by realization, this time when she pushed, she broke free of James’s hold and headed for the stairs. “I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes,” she said.
“Lizzie?” James asked.
Not trusting her voice to hide the rising lump of emotion, she sprinted up the stairs into her bedroom. Why had she allowed James into her heart a second time? Maybe because he was never really out of it, the voice inside her said. She shut it down. James was here for JR. He wanted her, yes, the same way he’d wanted her in high school. But they were adults now, with responsibilities. A child. She would have to figure out a way to be around James without letting her emotions running wild.
His words came back to her. He needed to talk to Jesse. That was true, as far as it went, she knew that. Still, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Why did every action or decision have to involve Jesse?
Because this is new to James and Jesse’s family, Jesse’s blood. And because keeping watch over Jesse has been James’s life since forever.
The problem was, JR was James’s blood, too. And as his mother, JR’s needs would trump Jesse’s every single damn day of the week and three times on Sunday. If James couldn’t see his way clear to choose his son over his brother … .
Well then no matter how much Lizzie wanted to jump James’s bones and be jumped in return she would just have to remember that she was a grownup. JR was her child, and James was the bad influence she’d have to keep herself and her son away from.
CHAPTER SEVEN
James glanced back at the banged up import following him down the mountain. Every time Jesse’s name came up, Lizzie’s defenses went up. He understood that to a point. Jesse had been the reason they left. And one of the reasons he’d broken up with her that May evening. She wanted him to follow her to Portland. Attend school with her or find a job, anything to keep the two of them together.
But he’d chosen to go with Jesse. Jesse needed him. Lizzie should have understood that. It wouldn’t have been forever. Instead, she’d made him choose. And it had been forever. What James had thought would be a summer on the rodeo circuit had turned into five years of managing his brother’s increasingly successful career.
While Lizzie came home to raise his son, alone.
Yeah, she had a right to be mad.
This time would be different. This time he chose her — and JR — if she’d let him. James figured he had one shot at this. Especially with Cash hanging around, looking for a pre-built family. James’s family.
“Do I have a gramma?”
The voice from the backseat surprised James. He adjusted the mirror and met JR’s eyes. The boy sat strapped into a booster seat. James hadn’t even known such a thing existed before Lizzie dumped it into the truck. Apparently kids couldn’t sit in the front. Something to do with the air bags being too strong. James had a lot to learn. He and Jesse used to ride in the bed of their father’s F-150 no seat belts, no seats.
“Your grandma died, buddy.” James glanced up in the mirror, wondering what had brought on this conversation.
“Not Grammy. I know Grammy died. I remember her hugs and she smelled like Mom’s cookies.” JR leaned forward. “I want to know about your mom. Where is she?”
James shook his head. No way could he tell JR that his and Jesse’s mother had dumped them the night she split from his dad. About
her promises to come back for them that never came true.
Two years ago James hired a private investigator to find her. He didn’t know what he expected, but the trail dead-ended in Vegas two years after she left. James often wondered how good an investigator the man was, or if it really was possible for people to disappear without a trace in this day and age the way she apparently had. Until, that is “Angie” and her lies showed up.
In the backseat, JR made an mmm-ing noise, waiting for an answer.
“No grandma, no grandpa.” Poor kid, he’d probably been hoping his long lost dad would appear with at least a new set of grandparents, if not a bustle of cousins. “But you have a new uncle.”
“Yeah, Uncle Jesse. Does he have kids?”
God, let’s hope not.
“No. There’s just the two of us.” James glanced back at Lizzie’s car.
“So did your mom and dad die?” JR kept at it like a starving dog with a chicken bone.
“JR, they’re gone. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. Now you have me and Mom.” JR turned around to look out the back window. “She’s a good mom. She’ll take care of you.”
James grinned. Now the kid was trying to make him feel better. Lizzie had done a great job with him. James hoped he wouldn’t screw things up by stepping into the picture late. Too bad there wasn’t an owner’s manual on how to raise a five-year-old son.
He turned the truck onto the main road. Two miles from the rodeo grounds, the traffic on the highway ground to a halt. Glancing at the clock, they were still two hours away from Jesse’s ride. Based on the number of pickups in line ahead of them, they might just make it.
“Why’d we stop?” JR strained against the seat belt trying to see.
“Too many people want to get to the same place we do.” Another glance in his side mirror caught Lizzie staring at him. She quickly averted her eyes when she saw him looking. “I bet your mom’s bored with no one to talk to.”
