by Lynn Cahoon
“She says she never gets a quiet moment. Maybe she’s happy.” JR turned and waved until Lizzie waved back.
“Or she’s rocking out to the radio.”
“The radio doesn’t work. We sing songs all the way to town. Maybe she’s singing.”
James sneaked another quick look in his side view. Nope, didn’t look like she was singing. Looked like she was gearing up for the worst. For nothing, he hoped.
The phone in his pocket vibrated. He pushed the Bluetooth button on the dash and answered. “This is James.”
“Where are you dude?” Jesse’s voice boomed over the speakers. “You didn’t come back to the room last night. I thought we’d have some time to talk.”
“I’m on the highway outside the rodeo grounds. We’ll be there in a few minutes.” James cringed, realizing he’d said we. Maybe Jesse hadn’t heard.
But like the five-year-old in the backseat, Jesse picked up everything James wasn’t ready to explain. “We? Is that why you didn’t show up last night? You found a little honey? Or are you doing the deed with Lizzie.”
“No, he’s with me,” JR called out.
“Who’s that?”
“JR Hudson,” JR called back.
James grabbed the cell and pushed the button to take the conversation private. “Look Jesse, we need to talk.”
“Sounds like it.” Jesse sounded thoughtful. “Well, you know where to find me.” He hung up.
James shook his head. That had gone well. Jesse could ask any of the locals everything he wanted to know about JR Hudson. Probably even find out that James was JR’s dad. Particularly since James had introduced JR to Mr. Cooper as his son before he’d said anything to his brother.
Great thinking, Ace.
“Who was that?” JR’s voice broke into James’s muddled thoughts.
“Uncle Jesse. He’s waiting for us at the rodeo grounds.”
“Do you think he’ll let me sit on a bull?”
James choked. “Those bulls are dangerous. Don’t even think about climbing on one. It’s not like riding a sheep.” No wonder Lizzie wasn’t keen on JR mutton busting this year. Raising a child was a nightmare waiting to happen — especially when they had ideas like this.
JR hung his head. “I just asked. No need to get mad.”
“Just make sure you stay right with me when we meet your uncle. I don’t want to explain to your mom how you got hurt the first time you were on my watch.”
“Okay.” JR turned around in his seat, straining to see Lizzie, waving big to get her attention. When she finally waved back, JR seemed satisfied and turned back to James. “Maybe Uncle Jesse would let me help him get ready. Gramps used to ride bulls and he said he had lots of people helping him get ready to ride. I’m a good helper.”
“I know you are. Look how you helped me clean up around the cabins.” James grinned. Jesse had no idea what he was in for. James didn’t know whether to drop the bomb before Jesse rode or give him a few minutes more of irresponsibility before he turned into someone’s uncle.
“Are we there yet?”
“Soon, buddy, soon.”
• • •
Lizzie stuffed the booster seat back into her car before catching up with James and JR. She didn’t know what kind of fireworks would happen when James broke the news, but she wanted to be ready to head home if things got heated. James hadn’t been happy about handing the seat over. Still, for all James’s talk about being there for JR, if Jesse got stubborn about this, Lizzie didn’t want JR to end up in the middle of hers and the brothers’ ghosts, hearing things he didn’t need to hear.
“I get a corndog for lunch. Right?” JR watched the crowd buzzing around them.
“If that’s what you want.” James put his arm around Lizzie when she walked up. “Right, Lizzie?”
“The boy would eat nothing else if I’d let him. When we went to the state fair last year he ate five in one day.” Lizzie glanced around the grounds. From what she could see, most of the town was already inside while the rest of it was with them in the parking lot. “Big crowd today.”
“That’s good. Means the purses will be bigger than advertised.” James watched the barrel racing as they stood in line to pay their entrance fees.
“Does Jesse make much money riding?” Lizzie pulled JR closer as a horse and rider stepped close to the ticket line on their way back to the stables.
“He didn’t at first. We ate a lot of fast food value meals at first. You wouldn’t believe how much food twenty bucks will buy if you’re careful.” James swung JR up on his shoulders. “Can you see better?”
“I can see the corndog stand,” JR crowed.
“He’s got his priorities straight.” James laughed, holding on to JR’s legs. He returned to Lizzie’s question. “After that first year we knew which rodeos to avoid and which ones paid. Once Jesse hit his first championship, we were in the money.”
“He makes because he’s a champion? I didn’t know the rodeos worked that way.” There was a lot she didn’t know about the business of rodeo.
James shook his head. “They don’t. He makes more because sponsors pay all his expenses, including my salary, and he keeps the purse money.” He shrugged. “The kicker is you have to have that championship buckle before the big guys will look at you.”
“Do you like managing his career?” Lizzie searched his face, wondering what she expected to find.
James’s lips twisted. “Truthfully? When we were building the ‘Jesse’ brand, it was challenging. I liked that. Now it’s a lot of travel and public relations bull — ”
“James, little ears.” She pointed her chin toward JR.
“Sorry. All the … .” he hesitated trying to find an appropriate word, “stuff you have to do for the sponsors is pretty overwhelming. The saying ‘there’s no free lunch’ is especially true in the rodeo world. Part of Jesse’s job is to speak to corporate types in suits and ties while they ooh and ahh around the bull penned up in their parking lots. He’s their trick pony to pull out and show off. It’s not fun.”
“So why do you stay?”
“Jesse loves it. And before this weekend, there was no other family.” He bounced JR to get his attention. “Hold on, buddy. I have to pull out money for this nice lady to let us in.”
“Let us in, let us in,” JR chanted.
“You two are impossible.” Lizzie plucked the twenty from James’s hand. “Two adults and one child. Or maybe it’s two children and one adult?”
The girl laughed. “Boys grow up to be big boys with bigger toys.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” Lizzie grinned at the teenager, who handed her change that Lizzie plucked it into the pocket of the western chambray shirt James wore. The blue made his tan skin stand out and made her fingers itch to caress more than fabric. “Just like Mickey D’s. Change back from your dollar.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t eaten yet.” James pointed to the corndog stand. “Let’s get food then find seats.”
Ten minutes later, carrying corndogs and drinks, they sat in the middle of the stands, watching the end of the barrel racing. Lizzie watched the girls race around with a pang of regret. She’d raced in high school, but it wasn’t her passion. She’d wanted to go to journalism school and become the next Diane Sawyer. Being rodeo queen was fun, but in journalism, she could have seen a life traveling the world. Her mom had even gotten her to take a few basic online college classes toward that end before she’d gotten too sick to leave her bed. Lizzie had quit studying to take care of her.
Wryly, she realized that she could have done much of that same travelling and story-writing with JR in tow if she hadn’t let her mom force her to choose stay-in-one-place child-rearing over finding James years ago. If she had though, JR would never have known his grandmother. Cripe, she and James had both made choices because of the family they knew, hadn’t they?
“Your mom used to be the best barrel racer in town,” she heard James tell JR.
“Really, Mom?
Why’d you quit? It would have been cool to have a rodeo mom.” JR’s eyes bright, imagining the life he might be leading.
Lizzie chucked his chin. “It’s kind of hard to lean down and stay centered on a horse when you’re pregnant.” She smiled. “Besides, there’s no place on the saddle for a car seat.”
“Mom! I meant after I was born. Grammy would have watched me.” JR’s eyes were wide as the next rider burst into the arena.
Lizzie pulled him into a side hug. “I know she would have. I wanted to be your mom more than I wanted to ride horses.”
James eyed her. “You’d make a great journalist, Liz.”
She blushed and took a bite of corndog. He remembered. “Thanks. Someday I’ll get my degree.”
James studied her seriously. “What’s wrong with now? I’m here, I can help. The online degrees are better all the time, or you could go to school part time.”
“James Sullivan, you are horrible.” Taken aback, Lizzie stared at him. “First you want to help me get the cabins ready to reopen, now you want me to go back to school? When? You going to put extra days in my week? Because that’s what it’ll take to do everything.” She shook her head.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t considered going back to school. Boise State had a great online program, but school cost money, even online. Every time she thought she had enough saved up to get started, something at the house broke, JR got sick, or the economy tanked.
Or Mom died.
Yes, exactly. That, too. She and her dad were both having trouble coming back from that.
“Lizzie, look.” James’s jaw worked around a truth he hated, one he’d kept to himself for a long time. “I … well, Jesse and I know something about being in the welfare system.” He looked away from her to stare at nothing. “When mom left and dad started drinking, there stopped being enough. Dad would lose jobs, go on benders, not come home. Social Services got involved. They wanted to split us up, put us in foster care. Dad’d sober up long enough to keep that from happening then it would fall apart again.” He took a deep breath, looked hard at her. “The point is, I don’t want you and JR left in the system when there’s help out there to change things for you. Whether it’s Social Services programs or you apply for scholarships or grants or you take it from me. I want you to take it from me, Lizzie. If not for yourself then for JR at least. I have the right and the responsibility to provide for him no matter what you let me do for you.”
Mouth opening and closing, Lizzie stared at him, not knowing how to respond. Her goal from the moment she’d seen James outside River’s Edge with JR had been to get through this first weekend without the sky falling in. This … this was cards on the table. She just didn’t know if the cards she threw away would be better or worse than the ones she received to replace them. She needed to know because she couldn’t gamble with JR’s life, his emotions. If she could see just one step ahead … .
With that one wish, fate came over and sat down.
“Hey, darlings. Ready to watch Jesse ride?”
A woman with big, Texas hair, wearing an electric blue satin western shirt and matching jeans plopped onto the riser next to Lizzie. The same woman who’d been hanging with Jesse Friday at the park, Lizzie realized. Close up, the woman’s face was lined under the caked on makeup making her older than Lizzie thought — old enough, in fact, to be her mother. What the heck was Jesse doing, pulling dates from the over forties? Lizzie’s questions took a backseat to her mother’s insistence she always be polite to her elders. She swallowed a grin.
“JR’s been looking forward to watching Jesse since yesterday. Winning the mutton busting competition put some ideas into his head about his future.”
JR abandoned watching the empty arena and turned to the woman beside Lizzie. “Jesse’s my new uncle. And this is my dad, James Sullivan.”
Leave it to JR. Lizzie winced and looked at James, not knowing what to say.
Eyes telling Lizzie their conversation wasn’t finished, James said, “I’m sorry, I should have made introductions. Angie, this is Lizzie Hudson and her son — ” he paused and grinned at JR, “ — I mean our son, JR. Liz, this is Angie. I’m sorry, I don’t know your last name now.”
“Angie Dexter.” The woman stared at James for a long second. Lizzie caught the look. The woman was waiting for James to say something.
The pause went on long enough to be uncomfortable. Lizzie decided to fill the silence. “Nice to meet you, Angie. You’re friends with Jesse?”
“You could say that.” Again, the woman focused on James, waiting for something. When James returned his attention to the arena, her face fell. She covered quickly, masking disappointment with a smile. “JR, look how big you are. How old are you? Six?”
“Five. I’ll be six next February. I’m starting kindergarten this year.” JR handed his corndog stick to his mother. “Can I have another one?”
“You’re still hungry?” Lizzie pushed the miniature black cowboy hat back on his head.
“Yup.” He grinned, smacking his mustard-covered lips.
“Wipe your mouth and we’ll go in a second.” She handed him a napkin.
“I’ll take him.” James stood up and reached for JR’s hand.
Lizzie’s eyes filled at the sight. She should have done this years ago, should have trusted James with JR’s heart if not hers. She watched them make their way down the stands and disappear into the crowd.
“He seems like a good dad.”
Lizzie had almost forgotten about Angie. “He’s been great. Especially since I only broke the news about JR yesterday. JR’s head over heels already.”
“It must be hard to share him after all these years.”
The woman’s insight shook Lizzie and she responded in kind. “Honestly, I’m scared to death. What if James only chooses to be a dad when it suits him? JR’s heart will be broken. I don’t know if I’ll be able to put him back together.” Lizzie stopped. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have unloaded on you.”
“Why do you think James will want to leave?” Angie put a hand on Lizzie’s shoulder.
“Because Jesse’s all he ever had and James has never been able to say no to him.” She smiled ruefully. “Again. Sorry. You’re Jesse’s friend and I’m badmouthing him. I can’t believe I’m this bitchy.”
“Probably that time of the month, honey.” Angie gave her a hug. “Don’t worry, this conversation is our little secret. What girls say to each other stays between them.”
Somehow, despite the shiny blue and rhinestone costume Angie wore, Lizzie felt a kinship. She hadn’t felt this comforted since before her mother died.
What’s inside is much more important than the cover.
Another of her mom’s favorite bits of wisdom.
“Now, let’s put away those druthers.” Angie took off her scarf and wiped away tears Lizzie hadn’t realized she was shedding. “The boys are heading back this way. You don’t want them to see you upset now, do you?” She pulled back and surveyed her handiwork. “That’s better. Here, take a drink of your soda. Sweets always makes me stronger.”
Lizzie shook her head. How had this woman gotten into her head so quickly? Besides her aborted weekend with Barb, Lizzie hadn’t had much female companionship since her mother died. She’d missed it.
“Mom, we got French fries, too. Now all I need is ice cream and I’ll have a balanced meal, just like you always say.” JR plopped down beside her and offered her a crinkle fry smothered in secret sauce.
Lizzie took one. “How in the world is that a balanced meal? Even with the ice cream?”
JR sighed. “The corndog is my meat, the French fry my veggie, and the ice cream my dairy. Or maybe the corndog is veggie too since it’s corn?” He regarded James for an answer.
“I don’t know, JR. I think nutrition is one of the subjects I’ll let your mom be the expert on.” James eyes danced. “So, Lizzie, is a corndog both meat and vegetable?”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “
How about neither one and we declare today total junk food day.” She stole another fry.
“Sounds like a smart woman.” Angie leaned forward. “Look, the bull riding’s starting.”
JR climbed onto the bleacher seat to see the arena better. “Is Uncle Jesse riding first?”
“Sit down,” Lizzie admonished him. “They’ll announce the riders in order. You can stand up when Jesse’s name is called.
JR didn’t have long to wait. The field of riders was slim, and Jesse the most experienced of the contestants.
Only four of the riders met their eight-second ride requirement by the time Jesse was in the shoot. The announcers bantered back and forth, stalling for time between riders.
“Next up on the next to last bull is Shawnee’s very own, Jesse Sullivan. Jesse hasn’t ridden our rodeo for years, folks, but we’ve enjoyed watching him win two consecutive national championships in Vegas. Let’s give him a warm welcome home.” The announcer paused waiting for the crowd to settle after it gave Jesse a standing ovation. “We might be seeing a little more of Jesse soon. Rumor has it he spent the day looking at local ranches yesterday. Maybe the rooster is coming home to roost?”
Lizzie shot James a look. He appeared as shocked as she felt.
“Were you with Jesse yesterday?” James leaned over to Angie who tried to ignore him. “Angie! Were you and Jesse looking at real estate yesterday?”
“Now, James, don’t get all upset. It was supposed to be a surprise. Jesse and I wanted to tell you.” Angie gave up looking at the arena to focus on James.
“Here he comes, here he comes.” JR stood up, blocking James and Angie from continuing.
James leaned back and caught Angie’s eye behind JR. “We aren’t done.”
Angie tossed up her hands and Lizzie sighed. James kept saying conversations weren’t finished, but the important ones always seemed to get permanently sidetracked. She didn’t want JR paying the price if the next conversational crisis distracted James right back out of his life.
“Well, if Jesse is coming home, he better stay on Satan or he won’t hear the last of it down at Daisy’s,” the announcer told the crowd. “Let’s watch and see.”
