Fake

by D. Breeze

  Fake

  D Breeze

  All rights reserved.

  Published March 2015.

  Please note:

  ‘Fake’ is a work of fiction. Any and all names, characters, places and/or events described in this book are works of fiction. Any similarity between this and real persons, living or dead, events, establishments or location are purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offense to the content included as it is fiction.

  This book also identifies product/object names and services known to be registered trademarks or service marks of their respective holders. The author acknowledges the trademark status in this work of fiction but the publication of said trademarks is not authorised, associated with or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Copyright ©2015 Danielle Breeze.

  “Cover design ©Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs”

  All rights reserved.

  Prologue

  Lydia

  Sweet little Lydia Romero

  Innocent little Lydia Romero.

  Do-what-you-want-because-she’ll-put-up-with-it Lydia Romero.

  Is...fucking...gone.

  I’m not going to bitch and whine about it. I actually don’t even know why I mentioned it.

  She was so stupid and so fucking naive, Lord knows how she actually managed to survive the first fifteen years of her life, buried in the cesspit of filth that, in the end, could have killed her.

  But she did.

  She survived.

  And she’s still surviving. No. Not just surviving. She’s living and she’s doing it happy.

  That’s it. That’s all you’re going to get from me about the old Lydia Romero.

  Now I’m just me.

  And the past is the past.

  My future is bright, it’s lively and it’s fun.

  For eighteen years of my life, I never had a real reason to smile, even if I thought I did.

  Then I truly did.

  Sometimes in life, it’s just too easy to look up at the sky and truly thank God for the gifts he has given you. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t say I had much to compare it to, but this gift was so huge, so monumental, that I knew God loved me anyway.

  Ruben Brent.

  The best thing that has ever happened to me by far. Actually the only real good thing that has ever happened to me.

  I love him.

  So much that it hurts to breathe when he’s not around. He’s my first love, my only love and regardless of how ‘young’ I am, he’s the only person I’ll ever love.

  Truly. Unconditionally. Eternally.

  It’s an odd emotion to voice usually. Except with him.

  Oh he knows it.

  He knows exactly how I feel because he feels it too. It’s like he was my destiny and I was his, as ridiculous as that sounds, it’s true.

  He’s my soul-mate and I’d lay down my life for him without a second thought. That’s just how important he is to me.

  But not always.

  There was a point in my life when I really thought I could hate him. He burned me, right down to my soul and if I could have fled and never looked back, I would have. He didn’t let me though, he never would.

  And that’s why I love him so much more.

  It’s also why I needed to tell our story.

  Because holding a grudge is easy.

  Forgetting isn’t.

  Forgiveness isn’t.

  And love isn’t.

  But it’s definitely worth it.

  Chapter One

  Lydia

  I fucking hate my boss with a passion. He’s that much of a prick that it really is no surprise that he’s in his mid-forties and has been divorced five times, or so I was told. I know what he saw when he looked at me, just a poor little girl with no hope of going anywhere in life.

  He was wrong though because my life was only just beginning.

  Regardless, I hated him and he acted like the feeling was mutual. Case in point.

  “Are you listening to me, Laura?” He spat as he stood towering over me as if he was trying to look intimidating.

  “For the thousandth time, it’s Lydia!”

  He scoffed.

  “Semantics. The point is, I’ve just walked around this park for less than five minutes and I’m disgusted with the state of it.

  “How difficult is it for you to pick up rubbish? It’s not rocket science. Or do you just wander around looking as insolent as always and not actually doing anything? Hmm?”

  I just stared at him. It is not my job to pick up rubbish. He just loved to give me shit. Hence the fact that I hated him. Prick.

  I raised an eyebrow, then ignored him altogether. I guess you could say I had a slightly bad attitude but I worked my arse off for that park and I definitely didn’t deserve to have to listen to his crap.

  He must have known that he wouldn’t get anywhere with me because he grunted and stormed off.

  I chuckled. Glancing at my watch, I sighed in relief when I noticed that I only had ten minutes left. A ten hour shift at a theme park is enough to drain the energy out of anyone.

  *~*~*

  “Honey, I’m home!” I called, as I closed the front door.

  I say ‘closed’, it’s more of a shove-it-with-your-shoulder-until-it-eventually-clicks...sort of thing, but I’ve learned to live with it.

  “We’ve got to get that door fixed babe, it’s not safe.” Was Ruben’s response.

  “Not safe? It takes a few kicks and shoves for it to open! Any burglars would have to be pretty damn determined to get in here. Oh, and we haven’t got to do anything, I’ll get it sorted when I’ve got money.”

  I got ‘a look’. I knew what that look meant, he was not impressed. He never really did appreciate any sarcasm when it came to my safety. I couldn’t really blame him exactly, but it had been months since anything had happened, I felt safer anyway.

  Plus, he didn’t even live there, it wasn’t his responsibility, he just never seemed to understand that.

  I grumbled under my breath light heartedly and shuffled over towards him. My stomach rumbled as I smelt the food cooking.

  “You didn’t have to cook honey, I could have made something.”

  “You left for work at six this morning. I told you I’d be here tonight; I’ve grilled steaks for us. Sit down, chill out, and I’ll bring it in. You want water? Or wine?”

  “I have wine?” I asked, knowing full well that I didn’t.

  “You do now.”

  He. Was. A. God.

  My mouth was salivating; he’d always been so good to me, but steaks and wine? I wondered what the occasion was.

  “Wine would be great, thank you. Are we celebrating?”

  A funny look crossed his face. That had been happening more and more often, but I chose to ignore it.

  “No babe, I just wanted to treat you.”

  “You shouldn’t spend your money on me, Ruben! How many times do you need me to say this?”

  I didn’t want to argue with him, but this discussion always seemed to lead to that. I hated the thought of taking anything off anyone. I despised it. I know it’s stupid, sort of. I just wanted to prove that I was perfectly capable of looking after myself, and I am...perfectly capable that is.

  “Not tonight Lydia, just let me do this for you ok? I had some, um, spare cash left over this week and thought it’d be nice. I can take it all and go home if you want?” He raised an eyebrow.

  He had me there. He knew full well I wouldn’t say no to steaks. My stomach groaned lou
dly again and he smirked. That man always did know what’s best for me.

  *~*~*

  Ruben

  Snuggling down under the covers that night, I pulled her into my arms. The mattress was lumpy and there were a few rogue springs. It always gave me an ache in my shoulder, but I didn’t complain.

  I’d sleep on that shitty mattress every day for the rest of my life if it meant she’d be right there with me.

  I told her I’d move in, I’d help with the bills and food etc, but even before I’d mention it, I always knew she’d say no. I didn’t really know how I’d make it work either, but I’d figure something out, I always did.

  She was so determined to be independent, to do every single thing by herself, I really didn’t understand it. It was almost as if she doesn’t realise that she had been taking care of herself since she was barely out of nappies.

  Steak and wine is not a real luxury for most people. A treat maybe, but not luxury. For her it was.

  “Do you miss being a child?” She asked, randomly, as we lay in bed.

  “No, why would you even ask that? I’d never go back to those times.”

  She shook her head against my shoulder, but continued to stare at the ceiling.

  “Not that. I just mean, being a little kid, when you didn’t realise how hard life really was, and your biggest problem was choosing what colour nail varnish your doll was going to wear that day.”

  I tried to avoid the question.

  “I never was much of a fan of dolls.”

  She giggled and slapped me on the stomach. I pulled her tighter to me, touching my cheek to hers. My distraction didn’t work.

  “You know what I mean! I’m trying to ask a serious question here.”

  I sighed. “Babe, I never even had that. I don’t even remember a time when I was happy as a kid. But I’m happy now, I’ve been happy since I was fourteen and I’m even happier now that I have you. The past doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “When you say things like that, it always makes me remember just how much I love you.”

  “You forget?” I asked.

  She looked me straight in the eye. “Never.”

  Her lips hit mine but as soon as our tongues met, it was like fireworks were going off above us and heat surged straight through me. Didn’t matter how long we’d been together, every kiss, every touch, still sent my pulse racing. She pulled back, then pecked my lips once more, lay her head back on my shoulder and we settled in for the night.

  Before I slept, I remembered what she’d said and added, “I love you too babe.”

  I thought she was sleeping, but she answered.

  “I know you do, honey. We’re all each other has now, just me and you.”

  I swallowed, my mouth suddenly went dry, as it did every time she said something like that. I hated lying to her. I hated lying to everyone, but I didn’t have a choice.

  “Yeah babe, just me and you now.”

  I lay silent until I felt her breathing slow and I knew she was sleeping. Rolling her to her side, I slid my arm out from underneath her and sat up.

  Nights were always the same. The silence was taunting me, giving me too much time to think.

  Everyone said I’d always been the smartest one, the one who could do anything, but I didn’t feel that way. I felt like a fraud. I was a fraud and I couldn’t see any way out of the mess I’d created. I could solve everything for everyone else, trust me, I’d been tried and tested.

  But my own shit? Nope.

  Not a thing.

  I was caught in a web of lies that I had no one else to blame for.

  Jesus, I could have given Lydia the fucking world if I could have just figured out a way to fix the mess I’d created.

  But I couldn’t. I was stuck. And because I was stuck, so was she.

  I looked down at her beautiful face and clenched my teeth. I wished she knew.

  Rubbing my hands roughly across my face, I let out a muted sigh. There really was no point in torturing myself but I couldn’t help it. One lie turned into the next and they were all escalating - at pace.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling that something huge was about to happen, and not a good huge.

  A really, really bad huge.

  I shook my head.

  Just a feeling, not reality.

  Not...reality.

  Chapter Two

  Lydia

  Maybe we should take it from the beginning. I was seven years old when Ruben Brent first came into my life and the instant connection I felt with him, was nothing short of an emotional hurricane…for a seven year old.

  I had waited outside for Lucas, my big brother, at the end of school, like I did on any normal day. He always met me outside the main door because he said it wasn’t safe for me to be on my own – whatever that meant!

  Lucas was ten, and no matter how much we loved each other – and we did – he was also older than me and could be really mean.

  He walked up to me that day, dragging a new boy behind him.

  Ruben Brent.

  My stomach turned in a way I had never experienced before. We were in the same school, so it would definitely be a bare faced lie if I said I hadn’t already found out his name.

  The new kid always drew the attention of everyone on the playground; but it was different with him. It was different because with one glance, I was spellbound.

  He was relatively tall for a ten year old boy, but then, I was tiny, so everyone was tall! He had shaggy, dirty blonde hair that was swept back off his forehead and a smile that melted hearts. However, it was his eyes that I was most besotted by; they had an eerie sense of mystery about them and then when he grinned at me and held out his hand, the blue-grey depths sparkled.

  I was a goner.

  “Lydia! This is Ruben; he’s new to the school and lives down the road from us so I said he could walk home with us. That’s ok with you, yeah?” Lucas said with ten-year-old enthusiasm, for his new-found friendship.

  I couldn’t speak.

  Nor could I hide the fact that my eyes were fixated on this new character that had entered my life, but from the way Lucas just turned and kept walking, I figured he wasn’t waiting for me to respond to his question anyway.

  Rude!

  As soon as we got home, he turned his attention to me, but not in a good way. Teasing me about staring at his older friend and pointing how young I was in front of Ruben. I just shrugged it off, but knew that if these feelings were going to continue I would have to hide it better from Lucas, seeing as he took every opportunity he could to tease me.

  I should have realised sooner, that these new emotions were too intense to ignore. As time went on it became more and more clear to my brother that I was infatuated with his friend. His teasing became a relentless daily occurrence and I ended up looking ridiculously foolish more often than not.

  As much as I tried to act blasé and pretend that what he was saying wasn’t true, I also wanted Ruben to notice and pay attention to me and Lucas was making that happen.

  Therefore, my young mind was conflicted.

  These repressed feelings began to overwhelm me and I was more than aware that having Ruben at my house, my home, on a regular basis, blurred my infatuation into an obsession.

  My brother continued with the name calling over the weeks when Ruben would come round to our house to play.

  It made me feel even smaller than I already was in the group and I didn’t like the inferior feeling he forced on me. Worse, they both turned eleven before I turned eight - those couple of months seemed to drag on forever. I wished everyday, that I could grow up just that little bit faster.

  They came home together after school one evening when I had been off for the day, a few months after my infatuation had begun. My poor heart broke when they walked in…with girls.

  I knew, even as young as I was; that those girls were competition. They sat talking for a while in the lounge and I eavesdropped on their conversation from the stairway. As soon as one o
f the girls suggested that they all play a game of twister, I ran into the room.

  I knew that this meant that they would have to get close to him and my young heart hated that.

  I wanted to be close with him too.

  I could feel my brother’s glare on me, keeping a watchful eye on my every move closer towards his friend, as I begged and pleaded to be involved. When Ruben immediately agreed, I actually thought Lucas’s eyes would fall out of his head so I hid my smile behind my hair.

  One of the girls complained and I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at her.

  Part way through the game, the girl spinning the dial shouted out, “Left hand blue!” when it was my turn. It was an almost impossible move and I narrowed my eyes in her direction, sure she was doing it on purpose to make me lose.

  The only place I could position myself was across Ruben’s arched back, although I tried to show that I was annoyed by this move I felt a rush of energy running through my spine.

  I remember thinking that if I was lucky enough, maybe one day I could even hold his hand, but that move had me wanting to giggle out loud.

  My brother sensed my over-eager approach to the game and began with his snide comments again.

  “You could have easily moved over there Lydia,” pointing to the opposite direction of Ruben “It’s only because you want to be closer to him”

  Both girls cackled at me.

  I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks as I started to blush; I felt so belittled and embarrassed I wasn’t sure if it was best to look at the floor or just run away from the situation.

  For the first time ever, Ruben came to my defence, instead of just doing his usual disapproving grunt.

  “Stop it now Lucas, you know there was no other way she could do it without falling. Don’t worry Lydia he’s only sore that his little sister might actually beat him.”

  I wanted to hold back my grin but I couldn’t.

  My smile filled my face and Ruben winked at me from his position on the mat. I could only bring myself to look at him through the shield of my eyelashes; he looked more beautiful than ever. It was the first time I had seen him snap at Lucas on my behalf and I freaking loved it!