Beauty, The Invisible, Episode 1

by Janean Worth

  Chapter Two

  “That’s it!” Derek yelled, his face suffused with angry color, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “I am not putting up with this any longer! If you don’t love me enough to give me what I want, like a normal woman would, then I can find someone else to love me. The engagement is off!”

  Spittle flew from his open mouth as he shouted viciously at Bella. Confronted with such unleashed rage and bitter criticism, Bella took a fearful step back, shaking violently with emotion.

  She was so frightened that her mind began to imagine oily black shapes coalescing in the corners of the room, just at the edges of her vision. The anger in the room was almost palpable. It seemed to hover in the air between them like a living beast, hungry for prey.

  Derek had never treated her this way before. Never. She wasn’t sure what had triggered such a ferocious outburst from him. She wrapped her quivering arms around her stomach, trying to hold in her sobs, trying not to let the bitter tears that burned her eyes escape from under her lids.

  “I do love you, Derek. I do, it’s just that I wanted to—”

  “Shut up! Just shut up! I don’t want to hear it anymore!” he yelled, his white‑knuckled fists now clenched at his sides as he leaned toward her, rage glinting in his eyes. In a high falsetto, he mimicked her voice, “You want to remain pure and chaste. You don’t want to have sex before marriage. The Bible says . . .”

  Bella bit back another painful sob. It hurt to hear him say those things, to make light of her beliefs, to belittle her so crudely. It hurt a lot.

  “I’ve heard it all before! I don’t want to hear it again,” he bellowed. “If you loved me, you’d show me the affection I need!”

  “But I—”

  “I said shut up!” he roared. “I’m done with you. Just done!”

  Derek grabbed his leather jacket from the rack beside the door, nearly tearing the rack from the wall when the fabric caught on it momentarily. He ripped open the front door and, without even a backward glance, stormed out. The powerful slam of the door shook the entire wall and a tiny crack appeared in the aged drywall that edged the hardwood frame.

  “Derek . . .” Bella whispered into the empty air. “Don’t go . . .”

  She stared at the closed door, eyes burning, cheeks hot with humiliation, stomach churning with fierce emotion. She stood there for a full minute before she finally dared to let her sobs escape. And once she started crying, she didn’t know if she could stop. Great, gulping sobs tore out of her as a torrent of tears rained from her eyes.

  How could he treat her like that? After a two‑year relationship, with their wedding less than nine months away, how could he demand sex from her in such a cheap way? How could he say that she did not love him? She loved him more than any other man she’d ever dated. She loved him so much that she’d agreed to become his wife. She’d done more for him than she’d ever done for anyone else she’d ever gone out with, but she wouldn’t cross that line. She believed in purity before marriage. She believed what the Bible said about it. Why couldn’t he see that she was saving herself for him too? For their future? For the stability of their marriage foundation?

  Sobs shook her so hard that she stumbled to her leather couch and crumpled down upon it, afraid she’d just fall into a heap where she stood if she didn’t sit down.

  It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair!

  She’d thought that Derek was different. How could she have been so wrong? She’d thought that he truly cared about her. That he loved her. That they had the same goals in life.

  Of course, lately she’d noticed small signs, mostly in the previous couple of months, that maybe Derek wasn’t as happy in their relationship as she was—the little digs, a sarcastic tone sometimes, comments about her “cold” nature. But, she hadn’t realized that his unhappiness with her choice to remain chaste had gotten quite so out of hand. She hadn’t realized that he had been so terribly angry at her.

  And she wasn’t cold. She wasn’t! She’d shown him affection all of the time. She’d cuddled with him on the couch while they watched movies. She’d embraced him frequently. Even kissed him passionately. But she didn’t throw herself at him, or rub her body against him suggestively, or lead him on, because that would have been wrong considering her vows of purity. She’d been straightforward and honest. She’d told him of her Christian beliefs early on in their relationship. She’d told him that she would remain pure until her marriage. And he’d said it was fine with him. He’d even said he’d admired her choice. But he’d lied.

  Just like all the rest. Men only saw her appearance, the shape of her face, the shape of her body. They did not see the shape of her soul.

  Slowly her tears lessened, but she remained on the couch, despondent. The black shapes that had lingered just at the edges of her vision seemed to draw nearer to her as she sank into deep despair.

  Without Derek, her plans for the future seemed empty. Meaningless. No marriage. No husband. No children. Nothing. She hadn’t realized just how much hope she’d invested into the future of their relationship until he’d ripped it away from her.

  Thinking of her past experiences with the other men she’d dated, she realized that she would probably always be alone. Men only saw her beauty—nothing more. They only wanted a physical relationship with her—nothing more.

  Feeling broken, she closed her eyes and said a quiet prayer, asking for comfort.