The Caitlin Chronicles Boxed Set

by Michael Anderle

  “Damn.” Caitlin settled on the floor. “All this way for nothing.”

  “Not necessarily nothing.” Tom stood by a cupboard next to the wardrobe. He opened the door, and hundreds of small tins spilled out onto the floor. “You said the factory manufactured thousands of items? I think I found several hundred.”

  Caitlin picked one up and examined the tin. “What is it?” she asked.

  Mary-Anne picked up another. “Hard to say. The ink in the printer must have run out ages ago. It’s only white paper.”

  There was a loud noise as Kain smacked the tin against the bed frame. The sound of metal on metal hurt their ears. He raised the tin to eye level, inspecting the dent he had just made. “Damn, why do they make these things so hard to open?”

  Mary-Anne held up a finger, hooked her nail under the ring-pull, and lifted it to undo the top. She handed the tin to Caitlin.

  Caitlin sniffed the contents and recoiled. “Is that… What is that?”

  Mary-Anne rolled her eyes. “That, my friends, is SPAM.”

  “What’s SPAM?” Laurie asked, taking her own tin and pulling the top off.

  “Tinned meat. A delicacy from the old world. Basically, a pig shoved into a small container and mixed with some other shit to make it taste good and last a long while.”

  “No way,” Kain said as he tore off the top of his own tin. “I used to love this stuff.” He scooped a chunk of meat with his finger and tossed it into his mouth. His eyes rolled back orgasmically as he slumped back against the bed. “Ah, man, I forgot how good this stuff was.”

  Laurie, Tom, Joe, and Caitlin eyed the tin suspiciously. It didn’t seem right, the idea that food could be kept for so long in small containers—or that it could actually taste good. Aside from salting and leaving meat to dry out over racks, Caitlin’s only experience with food was that it rotted over time, sometimes very quickly. Fruits and vegetables were in short supply, grown on small patches of land within Silver Creek. No food should last this long.

  “Want to try it together?” Caitlin asked the others.

  “It’s food, not a fucking orgy,” Kain said, already ripping into his third can. “Man up, folks, before there’s nothing left to try.”

  And so they did. At first, no one seemed quite sure, but after a few mouthfuls, they all ate with enthusiasm, emptying can after can until their stomachs were full.

  “Where has this magic food been all my life?” Tom asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and patting his now full stomach.

  “Can you imagine what kind of world it would be to have these lying around in your cupboards?” Laurie asked, leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes. “No hunting. No gathering. Just cupboards full of food ready and waiting to go.”

  “It wasn’t quite that easy,” Mary-Anne said. “First, you had to drive to the supermarket, then you had to choose what you wanted, pay for your food, and carry it all the way home. Before you knew it, you’d lost two hours of your Saturday afternoon.”

  They all stared incredulously at her.

  “What? I’m just saying. It was a chore.”

  “More of a chore than sneaking through Mad-infested woods, tracking and hunting deer or anything that might put a small morsel of food in your stomach, then cooking over an open fire to ensure you don’t get some kind of disease from what you’re eating?” Laurie folded her arms as if making an obvious point.

  “Fair enough,” Mary-Anne replied, poking out her tongue. “I suppose times are harder now.”

  They sat inside the room for a short while, letting their bellies process the food. Soon enough, their eyes grew heavy. Jaxon and Kain curled up on the mattress and Caitlin, Mary-Anne, Tom, Laurie, and Joe with their backs to the wall.

  All too soon, the room was filled with the gentle sound of snores.

  Chapter Six

  Silver Creek, Silver Creek Forest, Old Ontario

  “This is bullshit.” Vex folded his arms and sulked like a belligerent child in Mother Wendy’s tavern. “Absolute bullshit.”

  “Oh, will you let it go?” Belle snapped. “Orders are orders. Just learn to live with them.”

  Vex was tired and wound up. It had already been several days since the others had left and there had been no action in Silver Creek. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. He had spent the last few days roaming the town, keeping a watch over the main gates, occasionally stepping out onto the High Road and walking for a half a mile before returning. Apart from that, he simply twiddled his thumbs.

  Might as well be stuck in a hole with my thumb up my ass for all the use I am.

  Vex had never thought of himself as a proactive fighter. Hadn’t even considered the possibility that he’d miss being a part of the action. But he had to admit, the idea that the others were out there in the wilds actually doing something useful while he played babysitter to the town was starting to piss him off.

  Not that it was all bad, of course. If he were to be stuck anywhere with anyone, he would choose Belle every time. Over the last few months, they had been almost inseparable. They slept in the same quarters, they paired up on walks, and their tag-team fighting style was second to none.

  Then why the fuck am I still here?

  Belle signaled for Mother Wendy to bring them another drink each.

  “Come on, Belle. How can you live like this? You know how badass we can be when we’re out there fighting. We’re wasting away in here. It’s like having a permanent erection with nothing to stick it into.”

  “Ew. Gross.” Belle rolled her eyes.

  “You know what I mean. What’s the point if we can’t do shit?”

  Belle thought for a minute. Vex knew her well enough to know that she was thinking exactly the same thing. The only difference was that Belle was happier to take orders. Vex, being older, was used to pushing the boundaries and trying to do his own thing. If it hadn’t been for Belle, he might have left days ago.

  “We can do shit,” Belle said. “We can keep a watch over this town in Caitlin’s absence and make sure everyone is okay. We still don’t have an active count of how many Mad are in the woods. What if a sudden attack comes? What if the hordes come flooding in? What then?”

  “The gate guards close the gate, and we stop their entry?” Vex said as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

  That shut Belle up.

  “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Sully wasn’t such a wet sponge,” he persisted, his eyes darting over to a table where Sully sat with several of the residents of Silver Creek, his eyes glazed over with bags beneath them. “I mean, dude knows how to set orders and look after a town, but Jee-sus-Christ is he boring. I want to be out there again, Belle. Don’t you remember what it was like in New Leaf?”

  “Dangerous as fuck. A barbed wire fence to keep out the Mad. Patriarchal bullshit keeping me trapped inside.”

  “And how is that any different to now?” He grinned.

  She thought for a moment. “Because back then, I didn’t have you constantly muttering in my ear. The headaches you give me, brother. You have no idea.”

  They sat in silence, watching the others in Mother Wendy’s while sipping their drinks.

  “Suppose I do want to leave—and I’m not saying I do. But suppose I’m tempted. What then? Caitlin and the others are way out there somewhere now. We’d never catch them. They’d never want us there.” Belle drained her drink and leaned her head back against the wall. “We’ve got our orders.”

  Vex finished his own drink and placed it on the table. “Well, my dear sweet innocent child,” he teased. “Some rules are made to be broken.

  Across the room, the group of people around Sully burst into laughter. Sully watched them all curiously, then laughed a moment later when the joke finally sank in.

  Vex nodded to Belle. “Come on. Follow me.”

  Silver Creek Forest, Old Ontario

  Dylan found the strange people a little way ahead, not too far from the Mad pit.

  “Tell me
what I’m looking at here,” Ash whispered beside him, unable to comprehend it.

  It was the start of a small village. A little way ahead in the trees they could see no more than a handful of houses crudely made from strips of wood. Though, where New Leaf had been a town which had created a clearing in the forest for their accommodation, this settlement seemed to incorporate the forest into its design. Great boughs of trees appeared through the roofs, with vines and foliage wrapping around the houses and decorating the outside.

  “I suppose that’s one way to plant your roots,” Ash added.

  Dylan grinned.

  They watched as the group of naked men and women joined several others around a small fire. There were logs set up like benches, and a large fat man with a headdress made of bracken and animal skins stirred the contents of a large pot suspended above the flames.

  Across from the fat man sat three women so ancient that, for a moment, Dylan mistook them as part of the log. Their bodies were shriveled and wrinkled, and they seemed to have to squint to see.

  “If you’re thinking of starting an orgy, I’m going to sit this one out,” Huckle muttered from behind, eliciting a small chuckle from Flo which she stifled with her hand.

  “Who do you think they are?” Alice asked in a barely audible whisper.

  Dylan looked at his map. By his calculations, they shouldn’t have encountered anyone yet. If he was tracking as accurately as he thought he was, this patch on the map should be nothing more than trees, trees, and more fucking trees.

  “I don’t know,” Dylan said.

  “What? You’re telling us the governor’s map is as big a piece of shit as he was?” Ash asked.

  “Not exactly. His map has been right about everything else so far. This is just an…”

  “Anomaly?” Alice finished for Dylan.

  “Sure, that too.”

  There were around two dozen of them, overall. Tall, short, fat, skinny—you name it. A rather diverse bunch.

  “What do we do now, Captain, my Captain?” Huckle asked.

  Dylan didn’t respond. To the Revolutionaries’ surprise, he began walking ahead. He made no effort to conceal his footsteps, so leaves and twigs snapped beneath him. Immediately, the strangers’ attention turned to him. They stood as one, their eyes wide. Several members of the group—those whom they had watched at the pit earlier—grabbed a series of long sticks with sharpened rocks tied to their ends.

  Dylan raised his hands, slowing his step. His eyes met the fat man’s, and they watched each other unblinkingly for a long moment.

  When he reached the edge of the firelight, he paused. The tribesmen cast sideways glances at each other, clearly uncertain.

  Slowly, Dylan lowered an arm and pointed at himself. “I’ve not come to hurt you, friends,” he said.

  The man whom he recognized as the pig-thrower took a step forward, jabbing his spear into the air.

  Dylan didn’t flinch.

  The pig-thrower cocked his head and looked back at the fat man who nodded with a grunt in Dylan’s direction. He looked at where they were nodding and saw his sword at his side.

  “Ah, no problem.” He untied the belt with studied care and letting the sword fall to the floor.

  The pig-thrower nodded again.

  “And this?” Dylan asked, tugging the string of his bow. “Sure.”

  The pig-thrower looked back at the fat man again, who nodded. Seemingly, he was satisfied.

  “Friends,” Dylan said so slowly that, were he speaking to anyone at Silver Creek, he imagined them taking great offense and punching him in the face. “Do you speak English?”

  The overture received no response except stares that revealed nothing.

  “Eeeng-lish?” Dylan repeated. “I meeean youuu nooo haaaarm.”

  The fat man met the pig-thrower’s eyes again. They stared intensely at each other before their faces cracked and they all burst into laughter. The entire group doubled over, clutching stomachs and their genitalia flapping about with each paroxysm of amusement.

  Dylan raised an eyebrow and watched them all. He suddenly felt super exposed, which was strange, really. He was the only one wearing clothes.

  “Ah. man,” the pig-thrower said, wiping a tear from his eye. “You should have seen what you looked like.” He opened his eyes wide and performed a crude impression of Dylan, “‘Eeen-glish. I meeean youuu nooo haaarm.’ Man, I hope that’s not how you try to pick up the ladies.”

  The humor was infectious. Dylan allowed himself a chuckle along with the others. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to patronize you or act stupid. But you play ‘native-tribesmen-with-no-grasp-of-English’ so damn well.”

  “And you play ‘I’m-an-advanced-species’ so poorly.” The pig-thrower winked. He looked past Dylan and into the trees. “Look, tell your friends to come out from hiding and join us for some grub. It’s nice to have visitors here from outside.”

  “You’ve known we’ve been here?” Dylan gasped.

  “Oh, yeah. The whole time. You guys aren’t exactly the quietest folks in these woods, are you?” The pig-thrower whistled. “Hey! Chumps! Your cover is blown. Come on down and join us, unless you fancy your chances out there with the Mad?” He laughed and turned back to the fire to take a seat. “‘Eeeen-glish.’ Man! That’s funny.”

  Dylan watched as his crew emerged uncertainly from the trees. He waved them over with a grin. “Come on, guys. They’re cool.”

  Abandoned Factory, Silver Creek Forest, Old Ontario

  Caitlin awoke to the sound of a door squeaking.

  In her groggy state, her first thought was of her father pushing her bedroom door open gently to give her a kiss before he headed out to work with the rangers. His thick beard scratched her face as she reached up to hug his neck.

  Until the sound of footsteps echoed through the factory from below.

  Fuck. Someone’s here, Caitlin thought as she sat up sharply, her senses now on alert. Mary-Anne stood at the foreman’s open door and looked down into the factory floor.

  “What is it?” Caitlin whispered.

  The vampire’s face was solemn. “Mad. At least a dozen of them.”

  “Do they know we’re here?”

  Mary-Anne shook her head. “I wouldn’t say so. Not yet, anyway. The first bumped into the door and fell on its ass. The others followed the noise. They know the guys following us are here, though.”

  Caitlin’s eyebrow raised, and she joined Mary-Anne at the door, watching the Mad fumble around each other and knock into the ancient equipment. “What do you mean, ‘the guys following us?’ Have you even slept?”

  “A power nap,” Mary-Anne replied. “We’ve been followed for several days now.”

  “Followed? By who? If it’s Vex disobeying orders, I’m going to cut his scrotum off.”

  “Always the balls with you, isn’t it?” her companion sneered. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you’re in need of a good plugging. Get the hormones out of your system. I’m sure Kain wouldn’t mind giving you a hand with that. He’s randier than a handful of rabbits on Viagra.”

  “Viagra?”

  “An old medicine that kept your…you know what? Doesn’t matter. I’m not sure who’s following us, but they’re sharp. Sneaky. I’ve tried to keep track, but every time I even get a whiff of them, they’re gone again.”

  “We need to get rid of them and shake them off our trail.”

  Mary-Anne nodded her agreement. “What about the zombs downstairs?”

  Caitlin grinned.

  The vampire returned the smile. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  They snuck downstairs—friggin’ hard to do considering the metal groaned with every step. Luckily, the sound only reverberated around the factory, confusing the Mad more. When they reached the ground floor, Caitlin drew Moxie from her belt and prepared herself.

  “Ready?” Caitlin whispered.

  “Do you even have to ask?” Mary-Anne’s fangs extended as her eyes lit up l
ike fireworks.

  Caitlin charged silently forward, surprising a Mad with a swift up-slash which unzipped their back. Blood spilled to the floor as the creature gasped and crumpled into a pile.

  “There are nicer ways to do that, y’know?” Mary-Anne pointed out as she sped forward at double Caitlin’s speed, launching into the air before she alighted on a Mad’s shoulders, pulled his head with both hands, and ripped the damn thing off.

  “Hypocrite.” Caitlin laughed.

  “Oi! Hope you’re saving some for me,” Kain shouted down from the walkway. “Where was my invite to the party?”

  Mary-Anne tossed the Mad’s head at Kain, who caught it instinctively. He turned the head to face him, recoiled, then launched it back to the lower floors, cheering as it smashed down on another attacker’s skull.

  “Bullseye!” Kain shouted.

  “You better hurry up before they’re all gone.” Caitlin turned to face the Mad now attacking her. Now that they had identified their target, they all zeroed in. Their instincts pushed them in a single-minded frenzy of, kill, eat, drink, motherfucker, drink!

  Caitlin kicked at a Mad’s chest—a woman with drooping jowls and an overbite—and sent her backward, her body clanging loudly against the metal. To her right, another launched itself directly at her. She narrowly avoided contact with a side step, grabbed the Mad’s wrist, and yanked him violently into the woman.

  “Ew, they feel like sappy tree bark,” she exclaimed, noting that Kain had reached the bottom of the stairs and now sprinted at a Mad which had found itself stuck in the labyrinth of conveyor belts.

  “Maybe leave the skin touching to Moxie,” Mary-Anne replied with a grunt as she tore off her Mad’s arm and began beating him over the head with it.

  “You got it, Detta.” Caitlin winked, remembering the fake names they had given the pastor when they had gone public in Ashdale Pond.

  “How many are you on?” Kain shouted, making short work of his target. He rotated swiftly and cut a deep groove into another Mad’s neck who had lunged at him from the side. “I’m on two.”

  “That one doesn’t count.” Caitlin observed the twitching mess on the floor still reaching for Kain. She yanked a small knife from her belt and threw it at the Mad, and his wriggling ceasing the minute the blade entered his skull. “That makes six for me.”