She laughs. “Way to ruin the moment with hockey.”
“You’ll always come before hockey, just not today. Sorry if I fucked up our moment.”
“I’ll be here when you get back, ready and waiting for my big guy.”
My face hurts from smiling so much. Sydney is everything I ever needed in my life. She’s the light to my dark and just soft enough to crack my hard exterior. And I love her. For the first time in my life, I am in love. It’s a good feeling.
Chapter 18
Sydney
Sitting in front of my computer, I chew on the tips of my nails, debating what I should do about the Carter and Sydney inspired book I’m supposed to publish within the year. I have no clue. Nothing has come to mind since Carter and I have gotten back together.
My editor has been up my ass almost every day for the outline that was due weeks ago. Still, nothing is percolating inside my head. I am nowhere near the point I should be at this stage in the process. While most things in the publishing world move like molasses, my publisher operates at a much faster pace. We’re at the point where even my editor’s boss is antsy and dying to get her hands on the story. But I have nothing to show.
Most days start in the same fashion as today. I wake up with Carter when he leaves for practice at the ass crack of dawn, except when he’s out of town for away games. Then, I go back to sleep for a few hours until he calls to pull me from my slumber, reminding me I need to work. Around noon, he’s done being hot hockey god, depending on the week. On occasion, he stays later to hang out with Tyler. Today must be one of those days because it’s well after lunchtime, and I haven’t heard a peep from him.
I fell hard for Carter. He’s the only constant in my life that makes sense anymore. Because of that, I cannot do this to him. I love him too much to jeopardize our relationship over this book. And I have plenty of money to hold me over that I don’t need to sell my soul to sell this book. At least I made my mind up.
After grinding my nails down to the skin, I decide to pick up the phone on my desk and call Carter. The new Sydney communicates without playing games. I want to be the woman that Carter deserves. If I tell him about the book and how our love story can help me break into a different market, maybe he will give me permission to write about us. But it’s not just my story, which is why I was so hesitant all along.
Holding the phone to my ear, my hand shakes. This entire conversation will be hell.
What do I even say? Oh, hey, big guy, I’m writing a book about our fucked up lives is that cool with you?
No way in hell Carter will go for this, which is why I have to confess. The sooner I get this off my chest the better. He deserves to know I pitched this idea to my editor, who hardcore freaked over it.
Carter answers the phone on the third ring. “Hey, Princess. What’s up? I’m just finishing my workout with the guys. We ran a little late today.”
“I was just checking in on you to make sure you’re coming over later.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” He sounds out of breath, as if he’s mid-workout as he speaks into the receiver. “I probably won’t be over until closer to dinner.”
“How about I make something for us?”
Cooking is not one of my strong suits, but I have to make some kind of effort if I want to approach him with such a sensitive subject. I hope he doesn’t get too pissed about it.
“That sounds good.” He grunts, followed by a long pause, before he continues, “Look, babe, I have to get going. We’re in the middle of doing this exercise that’s kicking my ass, and I need both hands to do it.”
Pussy, I hear Tyler say on the other end of the line. You lift like a girl.
“You hear this shit?” Carter chuckles. “I have to go take care of Kane’s punk ass. Later, babe.”
As soon as the line goes dead, Carter leaves me alone and with my thoughts. The nerves creep up the back of my throat, choking me, as I stare at the blank document on my computer screen. Wasting time behind this desk does no good for anyone. It’s time to figure out a special dinner for Carter and head to the grocery store. He will be here in the next few hours, hungry for more than food. I have to feed him and talk about the book before he feasts on my pussy. Because once we start, we end up spending our entire night in the bedroom.
I cooked lasagna for dinner. Or at least I attempted to make something that resembles Italian food. Kennedy said it would be easy, but apparently, I do not belong in the kitchen. Hovering over me, Carter laughs in my ear before bending down to pull me into his arms and kiss my forehead.
“Don’t laugh,” I say, hitting him on the arm with the oven mitt and frowning at the burnt baking dish. “I tried to make you something good.”
“I don’t care.” He tucks my head under his chin. “I’ll eat anything you make. You should have seen the shit Jenny made me when we were kids. We mostly lived off whatever food we could buy with food stamps and scraps she took home from the diner she worked at. I’m not a picky eater. Plus, who doesn’t love Italian soup.”
“It’s not soup, you idiot.” I stare up and into his eyes, shaking my head at him. “It was supposed to be lasagna.”
“Well, now it’s lasagna soup. Because you made it, I will love every bite of it.”
I let out a long sigh, disappointed in myself because I had wanted to show that I could be a good wifey someday. Not that we’re at that stage in our relationship yet, but still, I wanted to do this for Carter.
“I never learned how to cook. We didn’t even feed ourselves. My parents had nannies, maids, butlers, personal chefs, you name it, and we had it. They still live the same way as when I was younger.”
“I know, Princess. It’s okay. Little rich girls don’t learn how to be domestic.”
“But I would like to learn.” I close my eyes, sulking on the inside. “I want to be what you need, Carter.”
“You already are, babe. I don’t need you to wait on me or have dinner ready when I come home every night. You’re enough for me. You are all I need.” He grips me tighter, soaking me in his warmth.
Carter is so big and strong that when he holds me close, I’m consumed by him, filled with his love.
“You know, I think I love you a little more than I did five minutes ago.”
“Is that so?” His voice has a hint of excitement to it. “You could start by showing me how much you love me right now.”
A smile crosses my lips. “How do you suppose I do that, big guy?”
Taking my face in his big hands, Carter kisses me, slipping his tongue inside my mouth, making me forget about my ruined dinner. My nipples harden from his touch as he slides his hand inside my dress, his fingers pinching the tiny bud. A brush of heat spreads down my chest and throughout my body like wildfire.
Carter’s kisses send me over the edge, and as our lips separate, he continues planting them down my neck until he reaches my breasts. He lifts me up and sets me down on the table, opening my legs wider with his thigh. Hiking my dress up, he runs his hand up my leg and brings me closer to him. He already knows I’m not wearing panties, so there are no layers between us.
I’m already working on pulling out his cock when he leans forward, our timing so in sync that all it takes is a little guiding for him to be inside me once again.
“Carter,” I moan and lean back on my elbows, doing my best to move the plates I had set for dinner out of the way, as he fucks me.
He lifts my legs over his shoulders, his massive cock plunging deeper inside me. A chill rushes over me in waves, hardening my swollen nipples. I bite down on my lip, obscenities on the tip of my tongue because this feels so good as an orgasm rips through me.
As per the usual, Carter plows into me, both rough and aggressive, knocking a glass from the table in the process. It crashes against the tile, but the shattered glass doesn’t stop him. Nothing does. He’s a machine when it comes to sex.
My body convulses, tightening the grip I have on his cock. I scream so loud that I wonder if
my neighbors will call the cops with the table banging, glass breaking, and Carter pounding me. I stare up at Carter and watch as he groans in pleasure along with me, finally collapsing on top of me. He lays his head on my stomach, the sweat from his forehead soaking my dress.
“I fucking love you, Syd. My God, woman, I love you.”
“So much for dinner, huh?” I say with a smirk.
He winks. “Best dinner I ever had.”
We both laugh, and with Carter still inside me, his laughter shakes through me. I run my fingers through his sweat-glistened hair, taking in the sight of my man. The love of my life.
After Carter pulls out of me, our juices slide down my leg. There’s no way we’re eating dinner at this table now.
I stand up and press my palm to his chest, peeking up at him from beneath my lashes. “How about we get in the shower together, and after we’re done, I’ll order us a pizza. Sound good?”
He nods. “Sounds perfect.” Then, he surprises me by lifting me over his shoulder like a ragdoll and stalks toward the bedroom. His hand lands hard on my ass as he spanks me. “You’ve been a dirty girl. It’s time to clean you up.”
“Oh, baby!” I squeal with delight. “I’ve been a bad girl. I think you should punish me.”
I can see him smile as he sets me down on the floor in the master bathroom. “Don’t worry, Princess. You will be begging me to stop by the time I’m done with you.”
I’m so excited about our dirty shower sex that my pussy cheers at the promise of more. No matter how much I get, I can never get enough of Carter.
After another round of sex, I can hardly walk through my apartment without wincing in pain. Carter’s size is not something you adjust to overnight. Even after a few months, he still has the ability to wreck me from the inside out. And that shower sex was so fucking dirty it should be illegal. Carter is a bad boy.
Lounging on the couch in Carter’s boxers and a tank top, I curl up next to him, soaking up his warmth as he wraps his arm around me. He’s like a big teddy bear when he acts this way with me. Despite his moments where he’s rough with me, he has this soft side to him outside the bedroom that I adore even more.
Carter left no room for me to talk about the book before dinner. With all the fucking we were doing, I had no room to get a word in before he was taking control of my body. For whatever reason, Carter is watching a Flyers game from last season, pausing, and then rewinding the tape repeatedly. It’s annoying the hell out of me, but I want to stay on his good side.
We need to talk about the book and if he’d be okay with me writing some version of our love story. Stroking his arm with my fingers, I glance over at him and already have his attention.
“I need to tell you something,” I confess, nervous about his reaction.
“Like what?” He seems just as worried as I do.
“You know the games I played when we first met?”
He nods. “How could I forget? You gave me a never-ending case of blue balls.”
I laugh, adjusting my position on the couch. “Well, I kind of did something you might not like.”
“Stop being so cryptic, Syd, and just tell me already. What did you do?”
“I pitched a book idea to my editor about us.”
His face turns to stone, his body just as still. A beat passes between us before he looks human again, his chest rising and falling as he sucks in a deep breath. “Please tell me you didn’t write about my past. Please tell me you did not do that to me. To us.”
I shake my head, holding onto him for dear life. He’s shaking beneath me, his anger radiating off him in waves. “Of course not. I would never do that to you, which is why I couldn’t write the outline for my editor once I discovered your secrets. I always knew you were hiding something from me, but I had no idea what. In the beginning, I thought it would be fun to play with you, toy with your emotions. I know it was immature and stupid, and I regret doing it in the first place. But it also gave me this amazing book idea that my editor said he can sell to a wider market than what I have now.”
“You want to make money off my life? My life is not for sale, and yours shouldn’t be either.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. Just hear me out.”
He attempts to shake me off, but I jump on his lap and straddle him, pinning him in place with my thighs. Carter could move me with one hand in an instant. But he submits. Allowing me to run my fingers through his hair, he stares into my eyes.
“I love you, Carter Michael Donovan. You are my world now. My writing, the books, they don’t even compare to you. I thought that writing was the love of my life before you came along and put my ass in check. Do I regret messing with you in the beginning? Of course, I do. But I also think my childish behavior kept you interested long enough to realize this could work between us. You were never a one-woman kind of guy. Not until you met me.”
He smiles. “Did you just use my full name?”
“That’s all you got from what I just said?” I shake my head, laughing. “You stubborn ass.”
He strokes my jaw with his thumb, pulling my head toward him. Speaking against my lips, he says, “Tell me more about this book.”
Relief washes over me. I was so damn nervous I had been avoiding this conversation for weeks. “I changed the names, locations, and any details that would give anyone the impression the book is about us.”
“What’s my name in this book? What’s my story?”
“Well,” I say, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “It’s our love story, not just yours. Your name is Chuck and mine is Savannah. She’s a spoiled brat who plays games with Chuck just to get her way.”
“Sounds about right,” he says, laughing.
I roll my eyes at him, not entertained. “Chuck is a Wall Street guy from a small town who made it big. He has a dark past that he keeps hidden from Savannah, so her games work out for him until they get old, and he gets bored with her.”
“That’s not why I stopped talking to you,” he interjects. “I was never bored with you.”
I cock an eyebrow at him, confused. “No? Then, why did you walk away from me?”
“Because I wanted something more. After Tyler had told me about the baby, I knew it was time for me to grow up. It was kind of a wake up call for me. My best friend is having a baby and eventually getting married, and here I am fucking off with you when you wouldn’t even let me fuck you.”
“The same thing happened to me. After I had found out Kennedy was pregnant, I knew her life was forever changed. I was already losing my best friend with how much time Tyler and Kennedy were spending together. But a baby…The news made me sit down and reevaluate my life, except by the time I had done that, you would not even respond to my messages.”
“I needed time to think. You were killing me with all your rules and bullshit. I was through with it. I wanted you in my life without all the drama, and I honestly didn’t think you were capable of being with me without playing the game. You put me so far out of my comfort zone, and for some reason, I went along with it. I live a very controlled life. Everything I do is because I planned it out that way. Then, you come storming through the front door at Tyler’s house and take me by surprise. I had no idea this would ever be more than sex. That’s all I had wanted from you when we first met.”
“You don’t think I know that? The reason I play these games with men is that they see me and think I’m just something cute to dangle on their arms and fuck when they please. I’m never the girl they want to keep around. But I don’t want to be like my mother. She was a trophy wife for my father, nothing more. They have no relationship and nothing in common. The two of them spend more time apart than together, and I don’t want to live that way. I was testing you to see if you would hang in there long enough to claim your reward. It took you long enough, but you did.”
“And I haven’t looked back since,” he finishes, with a smile on his lips. Carter twists my curls between his fingers. “I love you, Sydney. I neve
r thought I was capable of loving a woman until I met you.”
“I love you, too, big guy.” I hold onto his shoulder and lean forward to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Does that mean I have your permission to write this book?”
“Yes, but on one condition.”
“Anything,” I say, without hesitation.
“You cannot mention anything about my family or my past. Nothing personal.”
“I can do that. After all, I do write fiction for a living. I’m good at spinning the truth.”
“Fine. Then, you have my permission. You deserve all the success this book may bring you. I hope Chuck and Savannah’s book makes lots of money for you.”
I’m so excited I squeal. “You know, this little empire I am building is not just mine now. We are in this together. You can bet your ass you will be my muse for other books.”
He grins, amused. “How so?”
“Your cock is kind of big deal in romance novels. Every woman wants the bad boy with a big dick.”
“Good,” he says, gripping me up before flipping me onto my stomach, so that I’m laying across his lap. “Because I’m about to give it you.”
My ass cheek throbs when he smacks me. He’s not as hard, as usual, more of a tap than anything. But I’m still sore from earlier.
The corners of my mouth turn up into a wicked grin. “You’re a bad boy, Carter.”
He presses his lips to my ear. This time his voice is a whisper. “You’ve seen nothing yet, Princess.”
My ovaries do a happy dance, and my pussy is already wet and ready for more. Can I handle more? It doesn’t matter. Even though we stopped playing the old game, we somehow managed to come up with a new one. Carter is more in control now, but either way, we both win. And I’m playing for keeps.
Epilogue
Six months later
Carter
After thinking about the missing piece to my puzzle, I knew exactly what to get for my last tattoo. Scully, the same tattoo artist who I have trusted with my ink since I moved to Philly, adds the final touches and cleans me up before holding up a mirror so I can see the masterpiece. It’s finally complete. I often wondered if it would ever end with the last tile, or if I would keep going in search of more.
Donovan (Face-Off Series Book 3) Page 17
