Pervade Duet: Pervade London & Pervade Montego Bay

by Vanessa Fewings

  “I have some work to do.” I descended the staircase and headed for my office.

  I’d reasoned that my liberation from this agonizing grief would happen when I finally caught up with Ivor Mikhail—as though that act alone could set me free. Revenge had been mine and it had been as terrible as it was satisfying.

  Emily had witnessed me in the act of destroying my last enemy, when I’d thrown Ivor over the side of the yacht to drown him in the Thames. Afterward, we’d ensured there was no political scandal. Emily had witnessed my devious side firsthand—no doubt troubling even though it had been for the sake of Queen and country.

  It was a mystery to me why she followed me downstairs and into my office. She should want to put thousands of miles between us.

  “Emily, what do you want?” I asked.

  “Just checking on you.”

  I wanted to lean in and kiss her…taste her lips and know her again like I once had, intimately and reverently.

  “Go play outside.” I pointed to the door.

  “I’m not five.”

  I glanced at my watch as a hint that I was busy.

  She crossed her arms and stared at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Was that a photo of your wife?”

  “What photo?”

  She sighed and moved closer. Way too close. “Come swim with us.”

  “I’m dressed now.”

  “Please? Join us.”

  “All that’s over, Em.” Even as I said the words, my mouth hovered over hers as though I were responding to a magnetic pull.

  God, to kiss her again…

  I stepped back.

  Her embrace was the only way to forget the ghosts of this place. Emily’s presence shooed out the nightmares. Still, I’d made a promise to keep my distance.

  Anyway, I deserved those nightmares…

  “I have a lot to do back in London.” I walked over to my desk and fired up the iMac.

  She refused to budge. “James, who was that man?”

  “No one special.” A whopper of a lie.

  I’d given Louis permission to come find me in case of an emergency—his emergency. He wasn’t supposed to pop in for a social visit. Seeing his expression at my reaction had crushed me. But Louis shouldn’t have come here. Not with Emily sniffing around and asking questions.

  “Xavier stayed with Louis for a while?” Emily interrupted my musings.

  “Yes.” That was another conversation for another time because Xavier had broken protocol.

  Emily bit her bottom lip. “Do you think—?”

  “No, Emily, there’s nothing like that going on between them.”

  “Not even with you?” she asked. “I saw the way you looked at Louis.”

  “I’m a sucker for a fresh mango.” I gave her a thin smile.

  Her eyes narrowed. “Why can’t he visit?”

  You little spying minx.

  Before she realized what I intended to do, I had her flung over my shoulder.

  I carried her effortlessly out of the house, despite her struggles. When we reached the garden I slapped her on the butt.

  “Ouch! James, what are you doing?”

  Young Mata Hari here liked to listen in on people’s conversations, so it seemed reasonable to fling her back into the swimming pool as a punishment for her indiscretion.

  She let out a yelp as I tossed her into the water.

  I waited until she rose, gasping, to the surface before turning and walking away.

  Xavier

  I knew this man better than he knew himself.

  The greatest loss of control for him was falling in love. He’d gone through hell as a widower, so it was easy to understand why this affected his ability to fall for anyone now.

  I’d always fought for him. Even doing the unthinkable and leaving him so he’d realize what we had. If not for finding Emily, I’d have never survived the loss of James. The fact he’d searched for me for months proved his feelings, even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it. I needed to persuade him we had something that was too precious to throw away.

  I kicked James’ office door open and stormed in.

  He didn’t react. He continued sitting behind his desk clicking around on his iMac, refusing to even look at me.

  This room couldn’t be considered a reflection of the man—even with the black and white prints of sailboats and the antique furniture. There was an empty space on the wall where he’d once hung a photo of himself with Victoria. Didn’t he realize that missing memento spoke volumes about his state of mind?

  Without looking up, James said, “I know, I know, throwing your girlfriend unceremoniously into the pool could be construed as rude behavior.”

  Folding my arms across my chest, I stood on the other side of his desk and gave him the silent treatment.

  James relented and sat back, finally looking at me.

  I gave him a dry smile. “The only reason I’ve not punched you in the face is because you’ve already taken care of that level of stupidity by headbutting a jet ski.”

  “The jet ski hit me.”

  “Punching you is still an option.”

  “You love this handsome face too much.”

  I shook my head, trying not to be amused. “I feel like I’ve lost you again. What is going on with you?”

  “What else have I done?”

  “James, the list is endless. The way you treated Louis—”

  “He knows the rules.”

  “Fuck your fucking rules.”

  “Does this have anything to do with the fact I’m about to throw you reprobates out of my home?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Xavier, I have work to do.”

  “Why are you being like this?”

  “Because there would be plenty more issues for me to apologize for if you stay.”

  “You were looking at her photo, weren’t you?”

  He casually placed his hands behind his head. “If by ‘her’ you mean my wife—”

  “Late wife.”

  “Yes, I like to look at my late wife’s photo.”

  “You need to talk about her.”

  “Emily’s been gossiping.”

  “If you ever show any violence towards her again—”

  “That’s unnecessarily dramatic.” He let out a sigh. “Xavier, I’m sure if anything happened to Emily…”

  “Was that why you kept us apart in London? Because you didn’t want me to go through the same pain as you, in case they…hurt Emily?”

  “I’m busy.”

  “You’ve eradicated every threat.”

  “It would be naïve to think so.”

  “You think that kid on the jet ski tried to kill you deliberately?”

  “Akmal is looking into it.”

  My frustration rose. “That’s what I do.”

  “Your judgment is compromised right now.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “You’re in love. It’s a weakness. You may continue to work for the firm—”

  “I am the firm.”

  “You deserve a life that isn’t complicated.”

  “Are you firing me?”

  “I’m adjusting the leadership.”

  “In this current state you’re not fit to rule, Ballad.”

  “Careful.”

  “You’ll apologize to Emily and then you’ll call Louis and tell him we’ll attend his party tomorrow. We need to drag your dark soul out of its cave and throw a little light on it with some music and dancing. We’ll drink rum and listen to the steel drums playing. You love steel drums.”

  “How about this? I go fuck Emily in way of an apology. Then I’ll call Louis and advise him he will no longer have any contact with you.”

  “You suspect there’s a hit out on you, don’t you?” I read him all too easily. “That’s why you’re sending us away.”

  “I’m following protocol.”

  “You wrote the protocol.” I rounded h
is desk and stood over him. “This is about the three of us. We can make it work.”

  “And what then, Xavier? Whose baby will she carry? Mine? How would that make you feel?”

  “We’ll have one each.”

  “If only it could be that simple.”

  “It can.”

  “And what would we tell the children?’

  “The truth.”

  “Let’s keep the insanity to a minimum.”

  “You promised when I came back that you and I would be together again. I came back. I rejoined the team. I’m saving the world again right beside you.”

  “But now there’s three of us.” He glanced at my mouth and gave himself away.

  “Are you saying this could work without Emily?”

  “Of course not. What I’m saying is that you two are perfect together.”

  “You’re fighting this for the wrong reasons.”

  “I’m giving you an out, Rothschild.”

  “Are you willing to blow up your life again?”

  “How exactly did I do that?”

  “You blamed the world for what happened to Victoria. You stormed back to London—”

  “You were with me—”

  “Yes, I was. Right by your side…and I saw the level of your pain played out in real time as you took down Britain’s leaders and made yourself King of the World.”

  “I still am.”

  “You think the Russians know we took out Ivor Mikhail? That what happened to you at Doctor’s Cave could be retaliation?”

  “It’s a theory.”

  “No, they don’t know we killed Ivor. I blocked all cameras in the vicinity. We made contingency plans. He went missing without a trace as far as they’re concerned.”

  “I have a lot of enemies.”

  “Are you trying to make more?”

  “Xavier, do you seriously want me anywhere near your relationship? Think about it. What you have with Emily is as good as it gets. I’ve already threatened it once.”

  Ah, so this was his issue—he was worried he wasn’t welcome in our relationship or he would end up ruining it. “I would never feel whole without you, James.”

  He dragged a hand through his hair. “I want to see you happy.”

  “Stand up.”

  “Why?’

  “I need to sit there.”

  He pushed to his feet with a huff and stepped out of my way. I sank into his chair and readjusted his keyboard. Grabbing the mouse, I clicked away and accessed our private mainframe.

  “Emily gave you the young man’s name?” I asked.

  “Matthew Smith.”

  The man who’d struck James with his jet ski had accomplished what the entire KGB had failed to do by taking James out—at least temporarily.

  I got to work.

  Initiating my AI assistant, we went deep into Matthew’s life. It didn’t take long to access because he was barely eighteen. Swiftly, working in unison, we profiled Matthew, finding his passport data, studying his education, his bank accounts, his family and other relatives, his political affiliations, and his recent travel history. Matthew was an asshole, which I quickly gathered from his social media accounts, but he was no assassin.

  I stepped out from behind the desk. “Looks like he’s clean. Our AI will complete the profile. Shouldn’t take long.”

  James let out a sigh of relief.

  I gave a nod. “Yeah, the only ninja warrior trying to take you out is you.”

  James rolled his eyes.

  “You’re human,” I said. “Don’t forget that. You’re allowed to love again. Victoria would want you to be happy.”

  “Easier said than done,” he whispered. “It’s Emily you want.”

  “It’s me you’re talking to, James.” I drew in a sharp breath. “You still want me. Nothing has changed.”

  His demeanor was as fierce as it was defensive. “Let’s end this meeting for now.”

  “This is not a meeting,” I snapped. “This is you and me standing in the fucking trenches and there’s no abandoning each other. Not now. Not ever.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I want you to admit what we have.”

  “What we had, Xavier. It was extraordinary, but now it’s over.”

  “You need to see the pattern.”

  “Pattern?”

  “You brought me to this place years ago. You drew me into the center of your world. You did the same with Emily. You invited her here. You want to stay in this house, but you can’t bear to be alone.”

  He turned away, unable to deny it.

  “See the truth for what it is.”

  His jaw twitched in annoyance, proving I’d touched a nerve.

  “I need you to trust me,” I said.

  “You may regret what you’re asking.”

  “I doubt it.”

  His stare snapped back to me. “Take Emily to the guest bedroom. I’ll join you.”

  “Is this one of your games?”

  “Do you want to play?”

  “If you do one thing that makes it look like you’re trying to hurt us…to push us away…”

  “Are you willing to take that risk?” He cupped my face and leaned in for a kiss. His mouth forced mine open and his tongue fought with mine. It was as erotic as it was cruel, a dark and seductive tease…and Ballad was so damn good at it.

  I bit his lip.

  James pulled back—then gave me one hell of a smile.

  “I can outsmart you,” I said, breathing hard.

  He relented with a nod of surrender. “I can’t cope with any more heartbreak, Xavier.”

  “Have I ever let you down?”

  “You left me once.” He gripped the back of my neck and dragged me in for another devastating kiss. “Oh, God,” he said into my mouth.

  Relenting, I closed my eyes. If this could be construed as stealing a kiss, then so be it. My body had yearned for this closeness with him since my arrival.

  James was my refuge, my savior, and no amount of denying this was going to make it any less true.

  What we once had was sacred. The very life he secretly craved with me could be ours, but he was refusing himself this happiness.

  This relationship was the very thing we all deserved.

  “It’s our time,” I muttered against his lips.

  “I know.”

  Emily

  The silver framed photo of Victoria showcased her large, kind eyes. It was easy to see why James had fallen so deeply in love with her. She had a sweet face with a cute button nose and dimples in her cheeks.

  Xavier had actually met her before he’d been transferred out of MI6. He told me she’d been in her late twenties when she’d died under tragic circumstances.

  My chest ached with the thought of what had happened to her.

  And my heart ached for James, too. He’d lost the woman who was meant to be his life-long partner. Thinking of his grief filled me with sadness. He’d never gotten over her.

  Being in his bedroom was wrong, but Victoria was a missing part of him, and this was me trying to understand him on a deeper level.

  The room was sparse…cold…as though he’d removed every personal item, leaving the space barren. I doubted this attempt to push memories of her away even worked.

  I turned my attention back to the photo, wondering when it had been taken. The garden behind Victoria was easily recognizable. It had been shot with her standing in front of the tall palm trees. I imagined them happily wiling away their summer days by the pool. Pure love was reflected in her pose, and I knew James had taken the photograph because her affection for him was reflected in the depths of her eyes. I was glimpsing a moment in time between them.

  Wanting to see if the photo was dated, I unclipped the back of the frame and eased it open. Inside was a folded piece of paper. I set the frame on the dresser and unfolded the note.

  From down the hallway, I heard the sound of voices.

  Quickly, I read the letter…
r />   Dearest James,

  I cannot think of any man I’d rather have undertake such a tremendous responsibility. These are difficult times. Impossible in so many ways. A mistake has been made that is both a blessing and a curse. Our future rests in your hands, James. His existence must remain a secret. It is no small thing you do for us.

  I skimmed down the page with the seconds I had left…

  The boy is yours now.

  Love him as we would have…

  Yours,

  E t S

  The signature was faded as though someone had purposefully smudged it.

  A thousand questions swirled around in my mind as I tried to make sense of it.

  The boy is yours…

  James’ voice reached me from down the hallway. “Where’s Em?”

  Quickly, I folded the letter and shoved it back behind the frame. Then flicked the catches closed.

  I turned my head and saw Xavier hurrying towards me with a glare of disapproval. He snatched the frame away and gently placed it inside the drawer, shutting it quickly.

  Then he spun me around and held me in a protective embrace. Wide-eyed, I looked toward the door.

  James was standing there. “What are you doing?”

  “She got turned around,” said Xavier. “You know how she is.”

  Looking skeptical, James’ glare bounced back and forth between the two of us. “Not here,” he finally said.

  He walked away and we followed him into another bedroom.

  James leaned back against the wall with his arms folded. Something had happened. I wished I knew what. Tension crackled between them, their chemistry edging toward anger.

  As James looked at me his expression softened. I was again reminded of all he’d endured…all that had made him this way—hard and unreachable.

  I raised my arms as Xavier pulled James’ T-shirt off me.

  “Tie her to the bed,” James demanded.

  Xavier hesitated as though trying to read his intentions. He looked around and then went over to a chest of drawers and pulled out two ties. Proof again these men shared a history.

  A shiver of uncertainty raced over me at this hint of erotic danger. Even so, I felt a rush of excitement that we’d made it back to this.

  James closed the blinds, pushing out the daylight and casting us in shadows. I lay down on the bed and Xavier used the neckties to secure my wrists to the headboard.