by Celia Kyle
Bloodthirsty beast.
The animal remained quiet, not denying the accusation.
Braden stopped near the balcony, eyeing the distance and staring at the railing. Yeah, it’d take his weight. He hoped. Otherwise he’d owe Ares a new balcony and have a few new bruises from when he fell on his ass.
No matter what, he was getting up there and he was gonna have a few minutes alone with his mate. Period.
He paused, took a deep breath and released it slowly before repeating the action. He didn’t want the whole beast busting free. He just needed a hint of the cat’s strength. With another soothing inhale and exhale, he tightened his body, muscles tensing in preparation of his jump. He bent his legs slightly while he fisted his hands. When he relaxed his fingers, claws tipped the digits.
From there it took one solid leap and his hands were on the rail. Bringing his knees up, he placed his feet on the edge of the balcony. A quick push and he vaulted up and over until he stood just outside the double doors that led to his mate.
He took a moment to watch her, to see her wide smile and the joy in her eyes. She looked… happy. Joyful? Excited?
Yes to both. At least he thought so. But before they went forward with anything, he’d know so. He wouldn’t have her pushed and prodded into anything. She’d come to him willingly or he’d fight tooth and nail until she was ready.
The wind picked up, swirling into the room and then curling outward toward him, sending her scent spiraling around his body. He hardened immediately, the sweetness of her flavors bringing his arousal rushing forward. His dick throbbed, pulsing with need, and he fought his body’s desperation for her. The cat snarled and growled, hating that he withheld his instinctual craving for his mate.
She’d agreed to their mating already, hadn’t objected to his announcement in the front yard and even told her father it was happening. She agreed.
That should be enough for Braden’s human mind.
It wasn’t.
Which was why he padded forward and stepped into the room. Why, when the alpha’s twin cousins—he couldn’t tell them apart—gave him surprised glances and attempted to stop him, he silenced them with a snarl.
“You’re not supposed to be in here.” Twin A glared at him.
Twin B’s voice was softer, but no less annoyed. “It’s bad luck to see—”
“No,” he rasped, gaze locked on Veronica. Her wide eyes met his and then those orbs darkened with a sensual heat that was familiar to him. He took a calming breath and released it slowly before focusing on the cousins. “No, I’m not leaving. I need to talk to Veronica before anything else happens and I’m going to do that.” Both women opened their mouths to object, but he cut them off before they said a word. “Alone. No wolves, no tigers. Just us. Now.”
“Ares will—”
“Talia said—”
Twin A then B. Or Twin B then A?
“Out.” He snarled, not caring that he spoke harshly to his alpha’s family. God love ’em, but he needed space.
Both women sniffed with annoyance but rose from the bed, anger blazing in their eyes.
“Ares will hear about this.”
“Just see if he doesn’t.”
He stopped trying to tell them apart and merely watched them leave. The second they whisked through the door, he shut it quietly behind them and turned the lock with a twist of his wrist. He strode to the double doors and did the same, securing them in the space.
No interruptions.
“Braden? What’s going on?” Concern marred her features, her eyebrows pinched.
He huffed. No easy way to say it or lead her into the conversation, so he simply laid it out. “Do you want to mate me or are you just doing this to save our asses? Because I want you, but not like that—like this.”
Veronica rose from her seat, eyes wide with surprise. “Of course I…”
And that’s when he knew. That’s when he saw a sadness and unease fill her expression. As her words trailed off, he saw the truth.
“No,” he rasped the word. She wasn’t ready. Was he?
The tiger assured him they were. The tail tugging was still iffy, but they’d take Veronica any way they could even if that meant a half mating. With her at his side, the rest didn’t matter.
“No, you’re doing it to save us and while I appreciate it—Gannon and Murphy appreciate it—we don’t need to tie our lives together.” Her face paled and she took a step back, putting a hint more space between them. “I want you more than life itself, but I won’t have you that way. Forced. Without a choice. Not ever.”
Her pain seared his nose and he knew his own swirled in the air as well, clouding the room with their shared heartache.
“It’s not that I don’t want you…” her voice was soft and he snorted.
Right.
“I don’t—didn’t—want anyone, Braden.”
Didn’t was past tense. Maybe they’d be okay, then.
He ran a hand through his hair, fighting the frustration and his cat’s impatience. The animal urged him to snatch her and carry her into the forest. Find a nice quiet place and show her why he’d make a good mate. He could be what she needed, dammit.
He huffed and strode toward her, unable to have a conversation about mating without his hands on her skin. The tiger craved her and demanded the connection. If they weren’t mating her, they’d touch her. She liked his touch. She just didn’t want his bite or… anything else.
The knowledge hurt more than it should.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her close, resting his chin atop her head when she laid her cheek on his chest. “I’ll talk with your father and Ares. We’ll figure it out. We can turn this into a big party instead of a mating party. I’ll fix it.”
Braden tried not to let his disappointment fill his voice but he was sure he failed.
“No, I…” She withdrew, shaking her head. “I…” she sighed. “I need to talk about it. I need to explain. I need to…” Tears blurred her eyes, moisture gathering on her lashes and then one slipped down her cheek. “I,” she swallowed hard. “I thought I had a mate once.” He suppressed his objection. Barely. “I thought I had a mate and then I…” Another tear snaked down her cheek. “I killed him.”
Chapter Twelve
There, Ronnie said the words. They were out and now he knew and now… he could do whatever he was gonna do.
She expected him to walk away. Who wanted a mate who’d killed the last man who’d tried to get frisky with her?
Braden apparently.
He didn’t let her go when she pulled away. In fact, he held her tighter, hugging her firmly before sweeping her into his arms and carrying her to a nearby chair. She didn’t fight him when he lowered to the seat nor when he rested her in his lap.
He held her tenderly, but she sensed the underlying emotions coursing through him. He was frustrated, angry, tense, and living on the edge of rage. She stroked his chest, fingers sliding over his cloth-covered skin with gentle strokes.
“Tell me,” he gritted out.
“Braden.” She sighed.
He pressed a kiss to her temple and murmured against her skin. “Tell me. I need to know because I am your mate. I will battle anyone who tries to force you to do something you don’t want to do, but I can’t fight for you if I don’t know what I’m fighting.” He nuzzled her neck and she breathed in his heated, smoky scent. “Tell me.”
“I…” she whispered and licked her lips, trying to decide where to start. Trying to decide how best to explain without destroying herself with the memories. And that’s when she realized there was no way she’d come out on the other side of this whole. It’d be painful, draining, and she prayed he would still be there when she was done.
“Once upon a time, in the land surrounding the Great Lakes,” she cleared her throat and blinked back the tears that kept coming, “there was a young girl—wolf. And there was a young boy—another wolf. And they were in love. Or at least, that’s what s
he thought it was.”
She felt rather than heard Braden’s answering growl and she rubbed her cheek on his chest, soothing him. No matter what she revealed, no matter her worries, he was still her mate. Hers.
Ronnie let her mind drift back a little more. She remembered her first date. And her second. Then her third. Her father hated she had a boyfriend, but they’d been in love. Her mother told her dad to back off and let Ronnie make her own mistakes.
What a fucking mistake.
“He had blond hair, bright blue eyes, and he always had a smile for me.” The picture-perfect boy next door. “We were always together. The pack house, runs, breakfast on the way to school, and half the time he had dinner with us.” She grinned remembering her father’s reaction to Michael. “Daddy hated him.” She tilted her head back and met Braden’s stare. “I mean, hated. If he could have legally taken Michael out and buried him in the backyard, he would have.” Ronnie took care of the problem for him, though. “Mom made him play nice and wouldn’t let him run Michael off.”
“You know that no matter what, I won’t be run off either, right? You’re mine. Whatever happens, you’re mine.”
Ronnie nodded. She did know.
She also knew she needed to keep going, keep telling the story before she chickened out.
“So, that boy and that girl dated all through senior year. They fooled around a lot, but wolf law is pretty damned specific. Even if a couple thinks they might be mates, there’s no mating going on before they turned eighteen. Things change for a shifter when they reach that age. Or at least, wolves do.” Braden nodded, confirming tigers were the same. “Well, that boy and that girl stayed together through graduation and that girl was convinced the boy was her mate. Hand to God, no fooling, he was hers.”
Damn, but she’d loved him. Soul-deep and forever ever kind of love. At least, that’s what she’d thought then. She knew better now.
Tears stung her eyes and blurred her vision, and she brushed away the first that trailed down her cheek. She wasn’t sure why she bothered. She knew more were right behind.
Braden’s strength surrounded her, bolstering her, and she knew she’d need it to get through the rest.
Ronnie sniffled. “Then she turned eighteen, and at her first full moon, everything changed. The world smelled different, the sounds were louder, and the colors were just more.”
“It’s overwhelming,” he murmured and she nodded.
“It is. And that’s when she realized the boy she loved wasn’t the male her wolf wanted.” She drew in a shaky breath and released it slowly. “At first, she fought the animal. She told it to get in line because her human half wanted Michael.”
Ronnie closed her eyes, trying to view her memories without emotions clogging her vision. But yeah, that wasn’t gonna work. Her wolf wouldn’t let her forget. Not ever. It shoved the rest of her poisonous history into the light and demanded she look at what not trusting the beast had caused.
“What happened?” Braden’s voice was soft, encouraging but not demanding.
“I was supposed to go to college.” She ruefully grinned. “Daddy refused to let me attend community college. His daughter was going to a fancy school. The alpha has spoken.” She mimicked her father and got an answering chuckle from her mate. “But I wanted to stay with Michael.” She sighed. “The only way to defy him was to mate Michael.”
“Alphas can’t separate mates.” He squeezed her with a gentle hug though she sensed his roiling emotions.
“No one can forcibly separate mates. Leaving them behind voluntarily is one thing. Tearing them apart is another.” She closed her eyes, remembering the midnight picnic, the bright moon, the soft tinkle of the flowing river and the rustling trees. “So that was the plan.”
“Did Walter try to stop you?”
Ronnie snorted. “If that’d been the case, Michael would have lived, at least.” She huffed. “God, this is the hard part.” She stared down at her hands, the deep lines of her palms and delicate fingers hiding her wolf’s claws. “We’re predators. We know what blood looks like on fur. What it tastes like when we pounce on a deer.” She made a fist and then relaxed her fingers. “It’s scary as hell when you find your hands dripping with a person’s blood, and your wolf is begging for more. Not an animal’s, but a person’s—a man’s.”
They’d been nude together before, exploring each other’s bodies and going as far as they could without crossing the final line, the final mark in the sand.
“It was our first time, you know. He was nervous. I was nervous but excited. We were going to show my dad that his word wasn’t law. I was an adult, and he was my mate, and that was that.” She lifted her attention to meet Braden’s gaze. “But he wasn’t, you are, and I get that now. I understand the difference since I’ve met you, but those minutes will haunt me forever. They’ll make me doubt the wolf and myself.” Ronnie shook her head. “I’m beating around the bush.
She swallowed hard and continued. “Like tigers, part of a wolf’s mating ritual is the bite. But also like tigers, there’s more, a way for the animals to prove the two belong together. For wolves, our partner has to make us howl during sex. It’s the ultimate show of trust and acceptance, you know? It binds their souls, much like…”
“Pulling a tail,” Braden whispered.
“Yeah. And Michael… My wolf…” She nibbled her lower lip. “He wasn’t my mate, and it became clear as soon as we got naked and started…” The moment he slipped inside her, pinning her to the ground with his bulk. Except her wolf knew he wasn’t strong enough to keep her captured. Even as seconds passed, as he tried to get her body to respond and she wrapped her legs around his waist, the beast refused to accept him. “And he got angry, so damned angry my wolf wouldn’t… he couldn’t make me…”
Trembles overtook her, the same ones that always assaulted her when she remembered. He held her tighter, imbuing her with his strength and that allowed her to continue. “And when it became obvious it wasn’t going to happen, he just lost it. He said if he couldn’t get me to howl in pleasure, it’d be in pain. That maybe the alpha’s bitch daughter got off on that.” Ronnie’s fingers stroked the base of her throat. “He said he hadn’t spent so much time courting me to be denied now. So when he tried to strangle me…” She tried to distance herself from the past. “So that boy tried to strangle that girl, and that girl’s wolf objected. Loudly. Viciously.”
“He wasn’t successful.” His tone was a grim statement not a question, but she confirmed it anyway.
“No, he wasn’t. But even if he had been, the wolf still would have killed him. It refused to have him as a mate no matter what. It was close, though.” Too close. She tilted her head back, meeting his golden stare. “I don’t want that to happen again. I can’t,” she paused, ready to put voice to the words but unwilling to go any further. “I can’t lose my mate because she can’t be controlled.”
“What do you think she’ll do?” he murmured.
Ronnie cupped his cheeks, enjoying the rough scruff that coated his jaw. “I think she’ll lose control.” She rubbed her chest. “There’s so much anger here. So much fear. I worry she’ll slip her leash and lose control. I worry she’ll hurt you.”
Braden snorted. “I’m offended that your wolf thinks she can beat me.” It was his turn to sigh. “But I understand your hesitation and your worry.” He placed a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to meet his stare. “And I want you to know that no one—no one—will ever make you do anything you don’t want to do. Not while I’m breathing. You understand?”
She nibbled her lower lip and nodded, not sure if she could trust that. Could she lean on him? Let him be the one between her and the world?
The wolf said yes. The wolf wanted him. The wolf wanted his bite and wanted to howl and…
Ronnie snapped the trap closed on that thought.
“Veronica?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. She understood and a tendril of hope unfurled. Part of her wanted to believe
him, too.
“Good.” He grunted and then quiet surrounded them. The silence comfortable and not oppressive. “I hate that I wasn’t there for you.”
“You didn’t know me.” She pointed out. “But I had my family, the pack.”
“This is why you think it’s a good idea for Claire to go to your mother.”
She nodded. “Yes, she’s… It’s not the same, but my mom knows what it’s like for a young girl to feel so…”
Broken.
Braden’s hands were soft, his touch careful, as he stroked her. “Thank you for sharing this with me. For trusting me.”
Another nod. She did trust him. So much. And that… surprised her. The wolf snorted and told her to catch up already. They’d trusted Braden for a while.
And maybe that was true. That didn’t mean she was ready to push forward with a full mating though. Maybe not ever.
“You’re my mate, Braden.”
“I know.”
“But I don’t know if I can ever fully be your mate. I don’t know that I can let my wolf go that far. I trust you. I don’t trust her.”
“And that’s okay,” he murmured. “Because I don’t trust my traditions, my tiger. I don’t trust what could become of my future if we tried to fully mate like other tigers in the prides.”
Air wheezed from her lungs and her wolf bristled at her words. The truth though… the truth was that from his perspective, it was a valid fear. Ronnie knew her strengths, knew that she was a fierce wolf, but still a wolf. Smaller than a tiger. Not as strong. Some said not as quick.
Wolf still snarled though. “The wolf could take the tiger.”
Braden rubbed his thumb across her lower lip before brushing his lips across hers. “Are you willing to lose me forever to test that belief? You won’t risk losing me to your wolf. I won’t risk losing you to my tiger traditions.”
“Where does that leave us?”
“Exactly where we are. Wherever you want to be. I won’t force this on you. I won’t force a bite on you. They can roar and howl as loud as they want, but it’s up to you—up to us.”
