by Lewis, L. K.
Can I build a life with Adrian knowing I will never be able to give him my whole heart? Will he still want me to have and to hold knowing he won’t hold all of me? I’ll never be able to give myself wholly to Adrian. I will always keep a piece of my heart for Drake. And what if he finally comes back? Where do I go from there? If I were to marry Adrian and have Drake then return to my life it would absolutely kill me. I will only ever say those vows once. If I marry Adrian, it will be forever. It would kill me to be without Drake but I’d stay true to my vows. What if I don’t return Adrian’s advances, keeping him as a friend while I continue to wait for Drake? Will I wait forever? Will I die a brokenhearted spinster with no one but my five cats to witness my final breath?
Thoughts like these have plagued me all day causing me to run late as I try on outfit after outfit, trying to figure out what ensemble best fits the mood for this evening. Date dress or business dinner dress? Short skirt that shows enough thigh but is long enough to keep it classy, or dress pants that say I put an effort into looking nice for our evening but after this party there will be no after party?
I purposely leave my apartment door unlocked, and tell Adrian to make himself at home when I buzz him in as I finally choose what to wear. I’m going with a black mid-thigh cocktail dress with capped sleeves and low square neckline that shows just a hint of cleavage but keeps you wanting more. I’m pairing the dress with sheer black thigh high stockings that make my legs look even longer than they are for my petite frame, and some cute black ankle booties. Because we are going to the country club, I forgo longer, more fun earrings for my larger diamond studs. My makeup is fresh with a romantic evening feel, and I sweep my hair to the side with large curls. It’s still country club conservative, but this look definitely has a sexy edge to it. Yup, I’m going for it...it’s time to let myself go a bit, and go on a date with Adrian Thompson.
Adrian
As I walk into Morgan’s apartment I’m glad she is running behind. I need a minute to take in my surroundings and calm my nerves. I walk into her kitchen to help myself to whatever chilled beverage is available and hanging on the fridge is a picture of Morgan sleeping peacefully on Drake’s shoulder as he smiles contentedly into the camera. I have to admit they both epitomize contentment and it makes me hate that asshole just a little bit more. Morgan was happy with him. Sublimely happy. She had love written all over her face while the two of them danced for hours together at Tao. Pushing that thought out of my mind, I decide against a beverage and return back to her living room and take a seat on her couch.
I can’t continue to compare myself to Drake or it will drive me insane. We are two totally different people, and she has loved us both. I’m just the fortunate one who gets her in the end, because I am smart enough to keep my shit together and not be exiled to who knows where. I’m still here in the flesh, and for tonight at least, that means I get to be the one with Morgan on my arm. I must remember to repeat that mantra and remain confident that Morgan will once again be mine, and soon.
Tonight is already going as planned, which is just the way I like it. My dad texted as I was pulling up to Morgan’s apartment to let me know that both my parents and the Lanes have arrived at the club and that the band was all set up. They will enjoy a few cocktails and dinner, on me of course, sitting just a table or two over from ours, and on my signal, take the stage and start to play. Morgan is usually a prompt person and I’m actually a little surprised she wasn’t ready for me when I pulled up, but I really needed this extra moment, and her delay really isn’t messing with my plans, so I’m not worried. Our parents may be a little heavier into the sauce by the time we arrive, but that will just help Morgan get into the party mood as well, so it’s all good.
I hear a door open and turn just in time to see Morgan exit her bedroom and I have to pull my jaw off her living room floor. Holy shit, she has dressed for a date. Thank the gods above us she is dressed for a motherfucking date. With me. My pants tighten with desire as I drink in her appearance from head to toe and I can’t keep myself from smiling.
“My God, Morgan, I’ve never seen you look so beautiful. You are absolutely glowing,” I gush. I planned on keeping my cool at least until dinner was over and she was in my arms on the dance floor anyway, but I can’t keep the words from spilling out of my mouth. Morgan looks so sexy. She was still under her mom’s grasp when we dated and she would never wear a dress this short out in public before, but damn it showcases her amazing legs so perfectly. Her hair is swept to the side, displaying her beautiful neck that at this moment is begging to be nibbled, but I keep myself in check.
“Thank you, Adrian, you’re not so bad yourself,” Morgan says nervously. I can tell she’s still unsure of letting herself be on an actual date when she is clearly not over Drake. I plan on changing that tonight. Or at least tip the scales more in my direction.
“I don’t want to rush you, but we really should get going. Do you have everything you need?” I ask.
“Yes I do. I’m so sorry for making you wait. You know that’s not my style typically. I just couldn’t decide what to wear tonight.” I could kiss her right now. She struggled with what to wear tonight and went for sexy. This night could not be going any better I swear. I need to get her to dinner before she changes her mind again and changes into something her mother would have her wear. It’s a good thing she doesn’t know her mom will be there!
****
I text my dad as I get into the car and let ask him to let the hostess and kitchen know we will be about twenty minutes late. Upon our arrival, our server is waiting at the hostess stand with a tray carrying two flutes of champagne as I asked.
“The royal service… I’m impressed, Adrian,” Morgan says with a sultry smile. I noticed her taking a few deep breaths on the way over, and she is now more relaxed.
“Like I said, Morgan, I want to celebrate you tonight.”
“You said this dinner was to thank me,” she teases.
“Yes, to thank you for a wonderful first month and to celebrate your raise.”
“Oh of course, please forgive me.”
I take a step closer to her, squeezing her hip as I wrap my arm around her narrow waist. I bend down almost as if to kiss her and see her eyes open a little wider and hear her draw a short breath. She’s not ready to be kissed yet. I change tactics with a smile and staying close to her lips I look deep into her eyes and say, “You’re forgiven, gorgeous.” I take a step away, leaving my hand at the small of her back as my arm leaves her waist. “Come on, I have a surprise for you.”
Before she can say anything, Morgan notices our parents and her smile brightens instantly. “You invited our parents to dinner?”
“Of course, I knew your parents would be delighted by your accomplishments, and my dad wanted to also extend his thanks for a great month and officially welcome you to Thompson in person. He hasn’t felt well enough to work lately and feels badly for not congratulating you on your position with us, so I invited him and my mom to join us as well,” I explain as we approach our table.
“Oh, honey, we are so proud of you!” Morgan’s mother practically shouts as she greets her with air kisses when we get to the table. She gives her a small side hug, careful not to spill the martini she has in her other hand. The woman is a pro at mingling with a cocktail in hand.
“Thanks, Mom,” Morgan says before turning to greet her father. “Hi, Dad,” she says excitedly as she goes on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around her father in a tight embrace.
“How is my sunshine doing tonight?” Morgan’s dad asks as he pulls away to look at her. He is clearly a few drinks into his evening.
“I’m doing just great, Dad, I’ve missed you. I’ve had a few brunches with Mom since I’ve been back but haven’t spent much time with you, I’m sorry.”
“Well from traveling the world to starting a new job, it’s understandable that you might have been a little too busy for your dear old dad. What do you say we make plans for next weekend? Th
ere is a new indoor driving range by the house, why don’t you and I hit some balls and you can come for lunch afterward?” Her dad asks, and I see the look on her face change slightly. I hope he hasn’t just reminded her of Drake, although I can only assume he has. Morgan seems to make that face throughout the day and I can tell she is thinking of him. Dammit, Jim, tonight is supposed to be about steering Morgan towards my arms. No harm done though, as Morgan quickly rebounds with a smile and agrees to the plans before greeting my parents. She is clearly trying to be in the moment tonight, and I really appreciate that.
“A very belated welcome to the company my dear, but I’m so glad you’ve joined our team,” my dad says sweetly as he pulls her into a gentle embrace. He looks like an older, more frail version of the person she used to know and I love her just a little more for doing her best to suppress the shock she clearly feels at his appearance. His heart attack and bypass surgery has been harder on him than he lets on.
“Thanks for the opportunity, Mr. Thompson. I’m so happy to be representing your company and have really enjoyed my last month there.”
“Well it sounds like you are doing a magnificent job, keep up the good work, young lady, and you will go very far with us,” my dad replies.
“We’ve all heard such wonderful reports about your work my dear. I don’t think we are the only ones who are happy to have you at Thompson,” my mom says as she looks my way with a knowing smile.
“Yes, well…Adrian has been a great boss to work with so far. I’m looking forward to a great career with Thompson Manufacturing,” Morgan says as our eyes meet.
“Okay, okay, let's not overwhelm the guest of honor,” I say with a large smile and a laugh. “I believe we’ve held up the kitchen long enough. What do you say we take a seat and enjoy a nice celebratory dinner? I worked with the chef earlier this week to create a special menu just for us this evening,” I explain as we all take our seats.
“A special dinner after one month of working for you,” Jim Lane pipes up with a slight slur to his speech, “what comes next month Thompson, a diamond ring?” He teases. Lana Lane smiles at me with a conspirator’s smile. She’s the only one who knows that is exactly my plan.
I look at Morgan, whose face has turned a beautiful shade of crimson, and give her a charming smile and a wink. “Stranger things have happened, Jim.”
****
Dinner has progressed nicely into dessert and after my signal the band gets up from their table and starts to play a sweet, slower, acoustic version of Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I see Morgan’s eyes mist and can tell she’s identifying with the lyrics. They couldn’t fit more perfectly in her life at this moment and this version is absolutely beautiful. I decide it’s a good time to draw the attention back to us for the evening, so I decide to stand and make a toast.
“First, let me thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate Morgan and her accomplishments. She doesn’t feel like all of this attention is deserved but I do, and I think you all agree with me as well. I’ve arranged for a little after dinner entertainment, so please feel free to order another cocktail, dance a little maybe…just enjoy yourselves. A car service will bring you home and follow you with your vehicles so we all get home safe. Cheers to you, Morgan, and thanks again for a great first month at Thompson Manufacturing.” A small round of applause for Morgan moves throughout the dining room as she blushes again. I invite the other diners to join in the dancing as well.
Morgan
This evening has been so wonderful, yet overwhelming at the same time. I decided to take a great leap and approach this dinner as a date with Adrian, hoping to decide if I am ready to move on from Drake yet. I was right in the assumption that tonight would be more than a business dinner, but was not expecting anything this extreme.
I sit here taking this evening in as I notice a group of people get up from their table and take the small stage that is often used during formal events. A few of the wait staff quickly move some tables out of the way, exposing the dance floor. I can’t believe Adrian has hired a band for this evening. I can only assume it was he who did that because as the band starts playing Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten but in a slow, more painfully beautiful way, I catch his eyes and mine start to mist. I almost come undone at everything he has done to make this night special. To make me feel special. I know he wants to remind me of what it’s like to feel loved by him, and in this moment I do. The lyrics are so perfect. With everything I’ve gone through these past few months, my future really is unwritten. When I finished grad school, I was ready to take life by storm and create something so wonderful that when I turn eighty five, I can look back on my life as something I’m so proud to have created. Instead though, Drake took me by storm. The life we planned on living together is something I have always dreamt of. Unfortunately, I don’t think that dream will ever become a reality.
I’m here with Adrian tonight, a new career back on track, life slowly getting back on track, and I’m ready to write my own destiny. I just need to figure out if Adrian is who I’m destined to be with after all. Was my breaking things off with him back in college the catalyst to sending my life off course? Was I supposed to move in with him, be his wife and his happy ever after? Maybe it’s time I start listening to what the universe is obviously shouting at me, and give this thing with Adrian a chance. As the song continues to play, Adrian gets up from the table to toast my first month at Thompson Manufacturing. Thank goodness he keeps it short and sweet. I’m not usually one to blush, and I’ve already done it a few times tonight. Maybe it’s just hot in here, I’m not sure. My mind starts to wander again, and from the corner of my eye, I can see Adrian staring at me as if he’s trying to read my thoughts.
“Hey, gorgeous, what are you thinking about?” Adrian asks as he leans close, speaking softly in my ear so only I can hear.
I turn slightly, looking him in the eye as a smile crosses my face and say, “You, actually.”
“Me? I hope only good thoughts…or maybe naughty thoughts too,” he says playfully.
“I think that’s for me to know and you to find out,” I say while giving him my most devilish grin. It’s been so long since I flirted, it’s actually kind of fun!
“Oh I’d love to, trust me,” he winks, then stands and grabs my hand, “Come on, gorgeous, how ‘bout a dance?”
Adrian helps me to my feet and leads me to the dance floor as our parents look on with a hopeful look in their eyes. They had practically planned our wedding a few years ago and we were never engaged. I can only imaging their hope now at a possible reconciliation.
We enter the dance floor just as the band kicks it up a notch with a fun throwback, Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl, and I start laughing. “Oh my God! I love this song! I used to jam to this in my car all the time until someone caught me once and teased me so much I stopped!” I say over the music that has just gotten a little louder. I notice some of the younger diners leave their tables to join us on the dance floor as Adrian spins me around once, then grabs my hips as I start to dance to the marching band beat.
“I know you love this song, I asked them to play it for you hoping to lift your spirits. And if I remember correctly, I am the one who busted you. I shouldn’t have teased you so much, it was really cute.”
“This is really fun. Thank you so much for doing this for me, Adrian, you’ve made me feel really special tonight,” I say, and Adrian squeezes my hip tighter, letting the other hand drop down for a quick ass grab.
“I’m glad you’re having fun, mission accomplished.” He smiles brightly and kisses my cheek as the song changes and my dad cuts in.
“Mind if your old man spins you around the dance floor a time or two, sunshine?” My dad asks.
“Of course not, spin away!” I giggle as I wrap my hands around my dad’s neck and rest my cheek on his shoulder. I’m not quite sure what the song is, but I know it’s a golden oldie from my dad’s youth, and he happily sings along to it.
“So…you and A
drian, huh? I never thought you’d be able to move on from Drake,” my dad asks, taking a break from his singing.
“I don’t really know what this is, Dad. I still miss Drake. I think about him all the time. He’ll always have at least a piece of my heart, and I’m not sure if I‘m ready for anything with Adrian. It’s just…”
“It’s just that you’ve been waiting for Drake to come back to you and he hasn’t, and you don’t want to be the fool who waits her whole life for someone who doesn’t return when another at least almost perfect man is right in front of you?” My dad finishes my sentence perfectly.
“Holy crap, Dad, are you inside my head? Have you been reading Mom’s romance novels again? How the hell did you know that’s what I was going to say? Men aren’t supposed to think or talk like that.”
My dad laughs then answers, “Don’t forget, Morgan, I probably know you better than anyone else in this room, your mother included. I’ve been the shoulder you’ve cried on your whole life. Your mom is great at dressing you up and presenting you as a young lady, but she’s not terribly sensitive. I’ve always wanted to know you and how you feel, so I’ve always asked questions then stood back and listened. Females can be complicated, but figuring them out isn’t exactly rocket science. I’ve listened and learned, and I think I’ve gotten pretty good at figuring you out and meeting your needs. How do you think I’ve managed to stay in your mother’s good graces for so long?” We both laugh, and my father sighs as another song starts.
My father continues, “The thing is, Morgan…you have grown up to be a wonderful, beautiful, bright young woman, and now you need a different man in your life to meet your needs. You want a career, a husband, and children hopefully someday. You want someone to be your friend, and love you and support you in every aspect of your life, just like I’ve done for your mother all these years. My role is different now. I’ll always be your dear old dad, but now I get to watch over you, protect you, and hopefully someday give the man of your dreams my blessing and walk you down the aisle. Is Adrian that man? Who knows for sure? Is Drake that man? Maybe, but you don’t know if he’s ever coming back. I just want you to be happy, sweetheart, and I’m glad to see that at the very least you are opening your heart to the possibility of happiness.”
