Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks)

by Autumn Brown

  “I want to buy Taylor a ring.” I told her.

  “Spencer! Tell me she’s not pregnant.” She exclaimed immediately, very worried.

  “No! She’s not pregnant. I didn’t mean an engagement ring, just a ring that says we’re going out. Or going steady as they’d say in your day.” I teased her, trying to calm her down and keep her from panicking.

  “Oh! Okay. But a ring? You don’t really don’t want to buy her a ring. Do you?”

  “Yes.” I said quickly. I did want to buy her a ring. “I want to tell her how much she means to me. That we’re more than just going out.”

  “Spencer.” She said. Her voice was saturated with pity. “You’re falling for this girl too hard. I was so anxious for you to start dating, but you’re really going overboard with this girl.”

  “I love her, Aunt Janel. She means the world to me. I want to buy her a ring to show her. Tell me what kind.”

  “How about a key ring?” she suggested. “A nice one. You can have it engraved. And, it won’t get her hopes up nearly as much as a ring would.”

  “Get her hopes up?” I asked for clarification.

  “She’ll think she’s a step away from getting you down the aisle if you buy her a ring. Trust me. A ring is the last thing you want to buy her.”

  “A bracelet?” I asked her. “Is that too much? What kind of message would that send?”

  “A perfect one. She’d love that.” Janel said.

  I made my way to the living room and asked Todd for his car. I called Zane and we made a day of going to the mall in Phoenix. With his help, I picked out a bracelet that we were sure she’d love. It was an ID bracelet that I had engraved special for her. I thought it was perfect now. I showed it to Aunt Janel. She thought it was perfect too.

  I borrowed Todd’s car again and made a real date with Taylor. I took her out to eat in Phoenix. She loved doing that. While we were there, I gave her the bracelet over the table. You would have thought I spent thousands of dollars on it. She loved it. And, she loved the engraving on it. It said, “Spencer’s Girl”, and had a heart stamped on it. I branded all of my music equipment with a heart. She thought it was perfect and put it on immediately. I rarely saw her without it from then on.

  Halloween came and went with the two of us closer than ever. My aunt and uncle were getting worried that my first crush would never end. They fully expected Taylor to dump me and move on. They’d never said that openly, but I could tell they thought it by the questions they’d ask. They were already worrying what I would do if Taylor dumped me. I tried to assure them that I’d be fine. I wasn’t sure I would be fine though. I loved this girl with everything I had inside me.

  My aunt and uncle kept telling me that if we spent too much time together, we’d burn out and start fighting. We didn’t. In fact, it went the opposite way. The more time we spent together, the closer we became. There was almost nothing that I didn’t know about Taylor, and vice versa. She knew more about my room than I did. We never did go to her house though. I think she was embarrassed because her family wasn’t very well off. I’d never seen her bedroom.

  We would sometimes run into her two sisters that went to high school. We’d say hi to them in passing. Occasionally we would have to swing back by and drive them to school when they needed to go in early. She seemed close to her sisters, like she’d do anything in the world for them.

  I finished a few more songs and sent them in. Taylor helped me. She even recorded one with me as a duet. It was so much fun just being with her. We loved to swim in the pool, and play. We loved lying out in the sun. We loved watching movies in front of the television in the living room. Aunt Janel and Uncle Todd seemed to like her, but they were very protective of me. Any play argument that we had, they’d always side with me. Taylor was joking with me constantly.

  The football season ended, because we didn’t make state championships this year. I started catching a ride home with Zane because Taylor stayed later and practiced really hard with the other cheerleaders. They started practicing on Saturdays and Sundays too. After practice, she was too tired to even come over for a visit. I felt like we were pulling apart because we weren’t seeing a lot of each other.

  Sex was only once a day, in the morning, for us. In the morning, we were having sex regularly. We’d run out to the desert after Taylor picked me up for school. After sex, we’d drive on to school.

  One morning as we were walking onto school property from the parking lot, we spotted Jim leaning against the gym wall. He looked over at Taylor. She looked at him. He stood there staring at her for a minute. He never waved, or anything. He just kept staring. I wasn’t sure what was up.

  “I need to go talk to him. I’ll meet you at Senior Pole in a few minutes.” She told me, then let go of my hand.

  Damn, I hated to let her go, especially to talk to him. I knew she was hung up on him in a big way a year or so ago. I had to let her go though. I didn’t want to be the overprotective boyfriend, but this guy worried me. I watched her walk closer to him, then stop to talk to him. I walked on to Senior Pole, but I positioned myself so that I could keep an eye on her. I tried not to make it too obvious though.

  “Hey, where’s Taylor this morning?” Zane asked me.

  I pointed with my chin toward Jim and Taylor.

  Zane looked over to where I was looking. “Oh boy!” he said, as if something was about to happen, and he was warning me.

  “What?” I asked him to explain immediately.

  “That’s always bad when they start talking. They usually end up back together when they start talking like that.”

  “Don’t say that!” I told Zane. Damn. I hated hearing that. I couldn’t lose Taylor now.

  Taylor talked to him for a while. It looked pretty intense. He hugged her. I watched her even closer, as she laid her head on his shoulder. I wasn’t sure what was going on between the two of them. I didn’t know Jim in the slightest. I’d only heard rumors about him. All the girls liked him, but he got into a lot of fights with the guys. He’d been suspended several times for fighting. The guys all thought he was bad news, but the girls did double takes every time he walked by. And, they practically fell on the ground when he smiled at them.

  Jim released Taylor, then gave her a big smile. He turned toward me, then gave me a slight wave. I gave him an upwards nod. Taylor turned to look at me. She smiled, then walked toward me. I met her halfway. I didn’t want to be in the group of our friends if she was going to give me bad news.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked her. I was doing my best to act genuinely concerned. I wasn’t sure if she was buying it though.

  “He was saying goodbye.” She told me, then pulled me close.

  “Goodbye? Is he moving?” I asked.

  “He’s running away from home again. He didn’t want me to worry about him. His mom usually calls me when they find out that he’s gone.”

  “What do you tell her?” I asked.

  “I tell her that I don’t know where he’s at. I lie for him basically.” she said.

  “Should you be doing that? What if something happens to him?” I asked her.

  “He has it really rough at home. I’d run away too.”

  I pulled her closer, and then we walked to our classes. I was kind of glad to hear that Jim would be leaving though. Maybe that was awful of me.

  The next morning, I waited for Taylor to pick me up for school. When her car pulled into our driveway, I noticed that she didn’t jump out and come around to the passenger side. I usually drove, so she could be ready for sex when we arrived at our special spot in the desert. I stepped into her car on the passenger’s side. Maybe she didn’t want sex this morning for some reason.

  “What’s up? Why aren’t you over here pulling your panties…” I stopped. Oh shit. Jim was in the back seat. He was completely beaten up. He had two black eyes that were almost swollen shut, and his cheeks were swollen and busted. He had tape on them. “What the hell?”

  “Taylo
r’s giving me a ride to the bus station.” He said then turned away.

  “He called me late last night. I went to pick him up.” Taylor explained.

  Damn. I didn’t know what was going on, but I didn’t like it that Taylor was this close to Jim still. Apparently he did have it rough at home. “Is there anything I can do?” I asked Jim.

  He shook his head in embarrassment. I could tell he was tired and upset. I probably wasn’t helping matters much. I kept quiet while we drove to Buckeye, to the bus station. Once there, Taylor stepped out and lifted the seat so Jim could get out. Once he was out, she put her arm around him. At first I was really jealous, but then I realized that Jim needed help walking. I ran around to their side of the car and put my arm around him on the other side.

  “Thanks.” he said weakly.

  We made our way inside and helped Jim sit down on a bench. Taylor went to buy him a ticket.

  “Do you have somewhere to go?” I asked him.

  “I’m going to meet my cousin in Boulder. We’ll work on a construction crew for a while until we can afford a place.”

  “I’ve got about sixty dollars I can loan you.” I told him as I pulled out my wallet.

  He shook his head. “I don’t even know you. But thanks anyway. Take care of Taylor while I’m gone. You’re a lucky guy.”

  “You don’t have to tell me that. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

  “Can I ask you something?” he asked in a whisper, after checking to see that Taylor wasn’t anywhere near us.

  “Sure.” I said. I wasn’t sure I was going to answer his question, but he could ask.

  “Is she great? She’s so brutally honest that I’ve always thought she’d be really sincere in sex.”

  “I don’t have anyone to compare her to, like you do. But she’s all there, every second, every touch. She lays it all on the line, no holds barred, nothing left covered or hidden. I never have to wonder what she’s feeling or what she wants next.” I told him honestly. I refused to talk about specifics, but I don’t think he was asking specifics, or for anything that might be considered adults only.

  “You are just about the luckiest guy alive.” He said to me, as he took an uneasy breath and shifted in his seat. I think he had some broken ribs.

  “You’ve had lots of sex.” I told him.

  “Yes, I’ve had lots of sex, but I’ve never made love to a girl. The only girl I’ve ever loved didn’t love me enough to let me make love to her.” he explained.

  I didn’t have to ask. I knew he was talking about Taylor. He was watching her the entire time he spoke.

  “I don’t know why she chose me still, but I’m sure glad that she did.” I confided in him.

  “Taylor doesn’t look at the outside. If she did, she would have slept with me.” he laughed, then grabbed his stomach to stop the pain.

  I laughed at his joke. Maybe it was candor. The girls at school really thought highly of his looks and his body. If they could see him now, I wondered what they’d be thinking. Taylor was seeing him now, and she was by his side, helping him out every way she could.

  “I hope this doesn’t cause problems between you two. I didn’t have anyone else to call. Taylor told me that no matter what, I could always call her. Even when we’re old and gray.”

  “No problems.” I assured him. “I’m glad you’re getting away from that situation.”

  Taylor came back with his ticket and handed it to him. It was in an envelope. He opened it quickly, then tossed her a look.

  “Take it.” she insisted.

  I looked at the envelope. It had some cash in it.

  “Four hundred dollars?” he asked.

  “It’s all I could get, or it would have been more. Just promise me you won’t buy drugs with it.”

  “I promise. And, you know I could really use some good drugs right now.” he teased her. “I’ll send this back to you after I get a job.”

  “I know you will. I’ll let your mom know you’re alright, when she calls. I wish you would have left last night.”

  “Me too!” he laughed.

  “Be careful out there.” Taylor told him as she hugged him carefully.

  “Good luck with everything Jim.” I told him.

  We left after helping him step onto the bus headed to Boulder. I drove us to school.

  “So, why didn’t you call me?” I asked Taylor.

  “I told you. It was late. I didn’t want to wake you up.” She answered quickly.

  “So, he stayed the night at your house?” I asked. I had to ask. I’d only been inside her house once other than picking her up for dates, and she takes him over to spend the night. What was up with that?

  She nodded slowly. She knew I wouldn’t like that answer.

  “Where did he sleep, Taylor?” I asked her. I knew I sounded like a jealous boyfriend, but I was jealous right now. There was no way I could hide it.

  She paused too long.

  “I want an answer to that, Taylor.”

  “First, let me tell you where I slept. I slept on the couch. He slept in my bed. The couch is really hard, and I didn’t think he could handle it as bad as he was hurt this time. Plus, I couldn’t chance my dad seeing him in the middle of the night.”

  “So, nothing happened? Not even a kiss?”

  “I helped fix his cheeks up, and gave him an ice pack. That was it. I promise. I don’t cheat, Spencer. Ever.” She looked straight in my eyes.

  I knew she was telling the truth. She’d never lied to me.

  “Why does he call you? Doesn’t he have any guy friends?” I asked her.

  “No. Guys don’t like him much. And, girls just want one thing from him.”

  I looked at her funny. “But you don’t?”

  She shook her head.

  “You honestly don’t want to have sex with him? I hear the girls talking about him. They all want to have sex with him. I’ve heard about parties where he had girls in line waiting for their turn.” I told her.

  “Not me. I’ve never wanted to sleep with him. I only wanted to make out with him when we were dating.”

  “Zane said you were really hung up on him.” I told her.

  “It probably looked that way, but I wasn’t. We’re good friends. I’m probably his only friend that will help him out when he gets in these messes. And, I’m the only one that he’ll show his face to, when his step dad beats the crap out of him. He’s kind of vain.”

  “Are you friends with all of your ex-boyfriends?” I asked her.

  “Not Jose.” She said quickly. “But everyone else, yes.”

  “Will we be friends if we ever break up?” I asked her.

  “Break up?” she asked. “You can’t dump me for not putting out. You don’t have that excuse.”

  We pulled into the school parking lot, and stepped out of the car. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we walked onto school property. “I wouldn’t have used that one anyway.”

  “I guess we’ll be together forever then.” She laughed.

  “Sounds good to me.” I told her.

  “Thanks for your help this morning.”

  “I’ll do anything for you, Taylor.” I kissed her on the neck as we parted ways.

  That night, Zane came to the house to play some music. We were spending more time together now that Taylor was practicing so hard with the other cheerleaders. Janel and Todd hated it when we played music. They always made an excuse to leave so they didn’t have to hear Zane sing off key. He didn’t notice. He thought he could sing pretty well.

  “Is this the latest? Does Taylor know this one’s about her?” Zane asked me as he warmed up on the guitar.

  “She helped me write it.” I told him.

  Zane laughed. “That’s a bit conceited.”

  “She didn’t help with the part about how good she looks, just the part where she finally noticed me.” I laughed with him.

  “You two are still going strong.” He commented.

  “We are
.” I told him. “She said it’s the longest she’s ever been with anyone.”

  “It is. Just don’t push it when it comes to sex.” Zane advised me.

  I laughed. “I won’t.” I didn’t want to tell him that ship already sailed and I didn’t have to push it in the slightest.

  We played my new song for a while. Zane was a terrible singer. I’d never record with him, but he was fun to jam around with. He broke his pick, and went to get another one. I kept them under my keyboard in the cabinet. “Dude!” he yelled out. “I thought we talked about this.” he said as held up a box of rubbers.