Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks)

by Autumn Brown

  “No way!” Grace said. “You did not get knocked up.”

  Several other kids joined in, saying hi to Taylor. All of the cheerleaders made their way to talk to her. I stood by close, but not too closely. Jose walked up. I stepped closer to her. We’d started letting him walk close to Senior Pole after Taylor left, but we didn’t let him stay to talk. He stopped when he saw Taylor’s stomach. He gave her a look.

  “Whoa!” he said to her.

  I put my arms around her and placed my hands on her stomach. I was marking my territory so to speak. He shook his head, as if in pity. Screw him. He turned and walked away after that.

  “It’s so good to have you back.” Several of the girls said.

  Dwayne even hugged her. Jim made his way through the crowd to her. He’d come back to school a few weeks ago. We were almost friends nowadays. I still held my hands on her stomach.

  “No frickin’ way!” he exclaimed when he saw her stomach. “So glad it’s you and not me, dude.”

  “Me too!” I told him.

  He gave Taylor a little hug after that. Almost everyone was nice to her, to her face anyway. I heard some comments after they’d stepped away and thought no one could hear them any longer. “Why would she do that?”, “I didn’t think she was that kind of a girl.”, “There went that body.”, “Ooops!”, “Another statistic in Buckeye.”, “Guess she trapped him.”

  Some of the comments were even worse, but I didn’t care. We’d get through it together. Nothing mattered except Taylor, our daughter, and me. They could keep their comments. I’d keep my new family. Taylor was family now. It dawned on me. Should I make her family? I was eighteen. I was old enough to get married. She was pregnant with my baby. She was emancipated. Damn, I really should be asking her to marry me right now. I really wanted her to marry me.

  I planned to stay with Taylor in the hotel until we could find a place to rent in Buckeye somewhere. Karen’s dad said he had a trailer, but I really wanted an apartment, or a little house. We searched the internet, and called a realtor. Nothing was available yet. After school, we went to my house to talk to Janel and Todd. We took pizza to soften the blows.

  “Hi Todd. Hi Janel.” I said to them as we walked through the front door. Maybe I should have knocked, but I still felt like it was my home, until I actually moved out.

  “Hi.” They both said uneasily to Taylor. “Sit down.”

  Taylor and I sat on the couch together. I held her close. I knew she was a little nervous about this.

  “So, how did your first day back at school go?” Janel asked Taylor.

  “Good, except Coach Robbins asked not to glamorize teen pregnancy too much.” She answered.

  I laughed. I didn’t know that happened. She didn’t say a word.

  “So, do you two have any plans?” Todd asked.

  “We’re looking for a place to rent in Buckeye until we graduate. Then we’re going to move to Phoenix and go to college.” I told them our plans. Everything we had worked out so far.

  “The baby is due when?”

  “They’re taking her on June first, if I don’t go into labor before then. The doctor isn’t expecting me to make it to term completely.” Taylor told her.

  “A girl?” Janel asked.

  Taylor nodded, then she looked at Janel with compassion. She reached out her hand and rubbed Janel’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She said softly.

  Janel was crying quietly, tears running down her cheeks. I didn’t understand, but I didn’t want to ask. Somehow it seemed really personal. Todd rubbed her face, wiping her tears. Everyone was silent for a few minutes, afraid to speak.

  “Were you planning on using your money, Spencer?” Janel asked.

  “What money?” Taylor asked me directly.

  “My parents’ life insurance.” I told her. “And, I sold a song.”

  “That’s so cool.” Taylor exclaimed, then kissed me on the cheek. “Which one?”

  “You haven’t heard it yet.” I told her. I didn’t want to tell her that it was the song that I’d written telling her off basically.

  Janel laughed.

  “How much did you sell it for?” she asked.

  “Twelve thousand, plus royalties after he records it. It’s a new guy. He sounds really good though. I think he’s going to go far. We went to Nashville to hear him sing it. It was really cool.”

  “I’m so proud of you!” She said as she ran her fingers through my hair. I loved it when she touched me. I missed her touch so much. I held her hand to my mouth and kissed it. I couldn’t wait to make love to her again tonight.

  A few weeks later, we finally found a little house in Buckeye right next to school. It was so close that we could walk to school. We did several times, since the doctor told Taylor she needed to get more exercise. We walked home for lunch everyday too. Taylor ate more often than she used to, but she couldn’t eat as much. She had to carry snacks with her so she could munch between classes.

  Taylor POV.

  I felt so grown up, being pregnant and living in our own rental house. Spencer mowed the yard every Saturday. I kept the house clean. We paid our monthly bills on time, and our rent. We walked to school everyday. We had the house decorated just like we wanted. We had visitors over all the time. Even my two sisters that were in high school came over sometimes for lunch with us. It seemed so perfect to us. We loved living together and being together fulltime. Every waking moment was spent together almost.

  After school, Spencer went to basketball practice, and I walked home alone. I busied myself getting the baby’s room ready, and cleaning the house. It was so easy to clean. Spencer never messed it up. It wasn’t at all like living at home. Cooking was a new experience for me, because I only cooked for two now. I was used to frying an entire chicken, with everything to go with it. Spencer ate two pieces and I ate one. I wasted a lot of food at first.

  My mother and father still weren’t talking to me. We would accidentally run into them occasionally, but they would turn and go the other way. That was awkward, but I had to deal with it. Todd and Janel came to see us quite often, at least once a week. They were very supportive and so proud of Spencer for stepping up to the plate as Todd called it. I apologized to Spencer so many times for doing him so wrong. I should have told him immediately instead of assuming he’d want out.

  We decided to buy the little house that we were renting. The guy let us have it for a lot less than he could have sold it to someone else for. I don’t know why he was so nice to us, but we were glad that he was. Janel and Todd helped us out with anything we needed help with, like buying a hot water heater when it went out, and finding an electrician when the lights in the bedroom wouldn’t come back on.

  Spencer’s song was doing well. He’d written several more and sent them in. No word on those yet. We used his parent’s life insurance money for the big bills. And, my debit card for anything under five hundred dollars. We were planning to put college off for a year at least. Spencer was going to write songs, and teach music to young kids. I was going to teach gymnastics and cheerleading to young girls after I had the baby. That was the plan anyway. Spencer already had a few students taking guitar lessons.

  One day at school, I forgot my History notebook in our locker. I asked Coach Snider if I could run get it. He excused me from class for a few minutes. When I looked up from the locker to see who was headed my way, I saw Jose. We were the only two in the hallway. Everyone was in class. No one would even hear me scream. My heart dropped to my stomach, as I got ready with my moves that my dad had taught me for years.

  “Stay right there. Don’t come any closer!” I warned him.

  He came closer, then stopped about three feet away from me. “I just want to talk. Just for a minute. I swear I won’t touch you.” he said. His face was full of remorse and regret, and somehow I believed him.

  “If you hurt me or my baby, I swear to God I will kill you.” I warned him. I wanted to make it completely clear to him. I put my finger on spe
ed dial button to Spencer just in case.

  “Taylor, I wanted to apologize. If you’ll let me.” he said.

  “Apologize? For almost raping me?” I said to him. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you crazy?”

  “I am really sorry. I wasn’t going to rape you. I just wanted to hurt you. To teach Spencer and Zane a lesson.”

  “What?” I asked him in disbelief.

  “Fred was going to get us some harder liquor. He was on the phone with me taking our orders when it happened. He said someone was in his lane. I was on the phone with him the entire time.”

  “Jose, I was right behind them when it happened. Your brother swerved into our lane. The accident was his fault, not Zane’s.” I told him. I probably shouldn’t be talking to a crazy guy, but I did want to set the record straight.

  “They’re alive, and my brother is dead. It was all my fault for sending him after the liquor.”

  “I’m sorry.” I apologized to him. I wasn’t sure if I should be compassionate or not, given what he’d done to me, but I did feel compassion for him. I felt sorry for him. “It still wasn’t your fault. He should have been watching where he was going, and he shouldn’t have been on the phone without pulling over. He could have handed it to his girlfriend and let her take care of it. He shouldn’t have been drunk either. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I’ve felt extremely guilty. After the thing with you, my mom insisted that I get counseling. I’ve been going. It’s been helping. Anyway, I wanted to apologize and tell you that I didn’t mean to hurt you. And, I wasn’t going to rape you. I wanted you, but I’d never want you against your will.”

  “Thanks Jose.” I told him. “That makes me feel better.”

  “And, good luck with your baby and with Spencer. I mean that.” he said in Spanish for some reason.

  I looked up to see Spencer running down the hall toward us. “Jose. I warned you to stay away from her.” He said in pure anger as he got closer.

  I stepped in front of Jose, between the two of them. “He was apologizing. Let’s bury the hatchet and go our separate ways. We don’t have to be friends, but I don’t want to be enemies any longer.”

  “I’m willing if you two are.” Jose said in Spanish.

  “Speak English so I can understand you.” Spencer said, perturbed.

  “He said he’d like that.” I loosely translated for Spencer.

  Jose held out his hand to shake Spencer’s. Spencer shook his hand. He held out his hand to shake mine. I hugged him instead.

  “I am really sorry about your brother.” I told him. “Good luck in Iowa.”

  “You heard about that already?”

  “Olga.” I told him. His sister told me, bragging about his full ride scholarship to Iowa. We were still friends.

  “Yes, good luck, Jose.” Spencer said to him. “And, I’m really sorry about your brother too. I didn’t make it to the funeral.”

  “Thanks.” He said to Spencer. “So, you two are headed to ASU?”

  “I screwed up my cheerleading scholarship with getting pregnant, but I still have a regular scholarship that will pay for tuition. And, Spencer does too. We’re not sure yet. We’re thinking about sitting out a year, raising our daughter.”

  “You’re going to be a great mother.” Jose told me. “You’re a great big sister.”

  “Thanks.” I told him. When we parted ways, I felt closer to him than I’d ever felt to him before. It was a funny feeling. Maybe it was because he was more honest with me than he had ever been before.

  “You okay?” Spencer asked me.

  “I’m good. What are you doing out of class?” I kissed him as I closed the locker.

  “You called me. I thought something was wrong.”

  I laughed. I must have been more scared than I thought at first.

  Spencer and I married almost a week later. All of our friends were there, along with his aunt and uncle. My parents and my sisters were missing. My aunt Bridget came, along with all of her boys. Zane and Sandy were with us. It was a nice wedding, but certainly not extravagant by anyone’s standards. We had it at the park late in the day. We were both really happy with how it turned out.

  When graduation finally arrived, I was waddling instead of walking. The baby was due in another three weeks, but she was going to be taken in another two weeks by cesarean. The doctor wanted to deliver her just a little early, but not too early. Graduation was really exciting. We’d all worked so hard to get there. I graduated eighth in the class. I lost some ranking while going to my other school. Spencer graduated right above me at number seven.

  As I was walking up the stairs to get my diploma, right after Spencer, I felt a strange pain in my stomach. I struggled to walk the remaining steps to get that diploma from the principal, Coach Robbins. I was determined to finish high school. When I reached Spencer on the other side, I told him that I was in pain. He got excited and we stepped out of line to leave the auditorium.

  Coach Robbins yelled to us over the microphone. “Wait a minute you two. You can’t leave until the ceremony is over.”

  “She’s in labor. We’ve got to go.” Spencer yelled to him.

  “Well, then by all means…go!” Coach Robbins yelled out to us waving his arms.

  The entire graduating class yelled out good wishes to us as Spencer picked me up and carried me to the Hummer.

  Todd and Janel followed us to the emergency room.

  After the doctor checked me out, he said that I wasn’t in real labor, but he wanted to go ahead and take our baby anyway since my blood pressure was really high. When he said he wanted to take her now, he meant right now. As in, hold out your arm so we can stick this IV in it. It was the scariest thing I’d ever been through. I wanted my mother with me, but she wasn’t accepting my calls. Janel and Spencer were on either side of me as the doctor cut out our daughter.

  It was the scariest thing I’d ever been through in my life, but the most beautiful. Seeing our daughter for the first time was amazing. Seeing Spencer see our daughter for the first time was absolutely heavenly. He turned to mush before my eyes. Big tough football player holding our little tiny daughter. My heart was already gone, but now it was completely his.

  Our daughter was small, but beautiful. She had a head full of dark hair, and bright blue eyes. She had Spencer’s ears, and my snub nose. Janel cried the whole time. She also took pictures of the whole thing. I could tell she was sad, but happy at the same time. Several years ago, she’d had a little girl who died right after she was born.

  Spencer stayed with our daughter the entire time until they brought her to my room. The three of us were in the hospital bed together, while Todd and Janel took pictures like crazy. We’d have plenty of pictures. Everything was perfect for us.

  Yes, if we had it to do over, we would have waited to get married and have a baby. But that wasn’t our destiny. Everyone has a different destiny in this life, and this was ours. We placed Destiny Hope Hart in her little plastic bassinet next to my hospital bed, and went to sleep for two hours.

  --

  Spencer must be totally in love with me, or crazy one. He should have packed his bags and run as fast as he could right after Destiny was born. I was a nut case, a total bitch to him. I even screamed at him once. I was so full of self pity, and self loathing for being such a bitch. He hung in there with me. He knew I was in pain and beyond tired. Everything hurt after our daughter was born.

  I was exhausted all the time. I nursed Destiny, like my mother did all of my sisters. Every two hours I had to wake up and feed her. That schedule took its toll on me. Spencer put his foot down and insisted that we give her a bottle every other feeding, just so I could get some rest. We fought about that. He won.

  I had lots of experience with babies, being the oldest of six girls in my family. But somehow it was different having my own daughter. It was a lot more work, first of all. Second, it was so much scarier. I constantly doubted myself on every little thing with Destiny. I worried that
I was using the wrong diapers, and the wrong bottles, and the wrong formula. When she got a diaper rash, I blamed myself. Janel helped with that one.

  Destiny was three months old now and our lives were smoothing out finally. She was sleeping through the night most nights. She was growing so fast. She changed a little every day. She was a little person with her own likes and dislikes, and she definitely had her own personality. She had my temper and my stubbornness, but Spencer’s smile. We loved her so much. My mother was right. There is no love greater than the love you feel for your baby. That’s why she had six. I wasn’t going to follow in her footsteps though. Spencer and I decided to wait a few years before attempting our next one.

  I converted a storefront downtown to a gymnastics studio. Well, actually I hired Dale and his brothers to do it. They were trying to start a construction business on their own. They had the studio looking really great, very nice and very professional. We’d put mirrors along the walls. I had all of the professional gym equipment in it. I’d gotten access to my trust fund when I turned eighteen, so I used some of that to buy everything I needed. We rented the other side of the building where I had my gymnastics studio for Spencer’s music studio. Dale and his brothers had helped with that too.